The "rate my fry" thread

Following on from This post here, I thought people might be interested in having a look at other people's attempts at breakfast.

Here's mine



Notes:

Apologies for the contrast in the photo, it was eaten before i checked what it looked like on the laptop.

Contents of the plate: sossies x 4, rashers x 3, white pudding x4 (i ran out of black during the week), approx 5-6 mushrooms (sautéed), eggs (fried) x 2, toast x 3, 1 pint of O.J., 1 mug of java.

I don't like beans, so there aren't any. Also, i took this before i added any sauce, Y.R. being the main culprit. I also washed everything down afterwards with a pint of T.K. cream soda.

Anyway, rate my fry, and post your own.

brianthebard

Very nice, apart from the lack of fried bread, which is noticeably absent. I'd give it a 7/10, I know that the lack of black pudding was unavoidable, but the fry looks lopsided without them.

trout

i like it ... it's got two of my favourite flavours ... grease & burnt.

Presentation is excellent ... like a little jeep that has been squashed flat after a stunt that went wrong, with the mushrooms and eggs representing the jeeps innards oozing out through the floorplan.

fried bread, beans or onions would set it off nicely, though I note you have thickly buttered toast and a mug of 'scald' which is encouraging.

I presume the orange juice is for teh lady ?

all in all, a noble and worthy effort, i would concur with 7/10.

you'll have to excuse me ... I've been drinking!

trout

trout wrote:

I presume the orange juice is for teh lady ?

No, brother. The day i make/do anything for the lady (other than give her a ration of passion when there's no football on the telly) is a long, long way away.

The o.j. is a vital part of breakfast. Keeps you regular as clockwork.

Thrill

I have to go with 7/10 as well, but if thats low fat butter on the toast then -1 point and if the healthy orange juice drink is yours, then -2 more points.

If the absence of a knife and fork means you ate that lot with your bare hands, then +5 points.



.

thetrickykid

Vital ingredient missing - beans required for that litlte bit of 'wettage'.

Bung it all in a bit of buttery bread, fold over, allow to drip down chin.

slavetothegrind

Has to be a minus 2 for that white pudding.
Excessively oaty rubbish. Where is the traditional butchers fare?
You know the grey spicy paste that spreads like butter on your toast and acts like a glue to hold the sausies and rashers on the toast whilst you lower the egg and crown with the other slice of toast making the perfect breakie sandwich!

( egg must be runny or no dribbles, - 1 point):p

FlutterinBantam

7/10 originally

Minus one for no black pud
minus one for no beans
minus one for orange juice
minis twofor a patterned plate...there should be no distractions.



End result....2/10

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

John Mason

minus for : -

No Tomato

No Beans

No Hash Brown

No Black Pudding

Why was the rasher grilled???

No Pineapple (a personal favourite)

No Jam/Marmalade

Very dodgy eggs

Only two pieces of toast

You can still see the plate

Is there a shortage of mushrooms??

Which gives an overall score of -2/10. well better look next time

That looked surprising like marge on the toast, where is the real butter??

Degsy

dont like it at all,sorry.the sausages arent kearnses,the white pudding is full of cereal,the eggs look badly prepared and to put it bluntly,the whole lot looks GRILLED.Barely a trace of grease in evidence.2/10 must try harder.

cance

that clonakilty pudding is shíte. Rice in pudding my hole!

flanzer

I made a fry at the weekend on the BBQ! I should have taken a picture but completely forgot. Got one of those BBQs that has the ring on the side so the fried eggs were done in quick time while I flamed the rashers, sausages, burgers and lamb chops on the main grill!

Miss Fluff

Very impressive. Could do with some fried McCambridges and some grilled tomatoes but overall I wouldn't kick you out of bed for farting. Well done.:)

EDIT, actually after a breakfast like that I probably would kick you out if you farted, but well done anyway.

Irish Wolf

Deleted User wrote:

approx 5-6 mushrooms (sautéed)

lol... sautéed - alright there Delia

Still tis a finer spread than what was once served up to me - poached eggs and toast!

Mushrooms cooked in butter, kick the living bejaysus out of mushrooms cooked in oil. If i wanted grease over taste, i'd just down the bottle of oil and stuff the food down raw after it.

@ everyone else.......told ya, don't like beans, there was no black puddin and i took a photo before i added sauce. Clonakilty pudding fucking rocks. See above re: taste > grease. The rashers WERE fried. There's 3 slices of toast (the bottom one is upside-down compared to the top slice). That's not marge on the bread (ugh) although before i moved out, my ma used marge instead of oil on the pan all the time. Made me the man i am today. I'll admit the eggs were below par, but meh.

Anyway, no-one else willing to post a photo of theirs?

HashSlinging

I like your overall style, but a big missing is a quality sausage, so im afraid you get minus points for not using. Also mark you down for not having a garnish, next time be a bit more constructive and use chips, add a serious mark down for not cooking the eggs correctly, not looking good.

Overall though im very impressed with your flair and artistic plate arrangement.

I'll give you a very generous 5.5/10

For future reference please use proper sausages, garnish and cook your eggs correctly.

Naos

- 1 for artistic flair -> Your food is made to be eaten.
+ 2 for OJ -> OJ helps with the hangover (Thus 1 point for drinking the previous night, 1 point for aiding healing process of hangover allowing you to drink again quicker)

7/10 overall.

cance

Deleted User wrote:

Anyway, no-one else willing to post a photo of theirs?

dont worry mine is coming:

to be expected:

24 Jumbo denny sausages
16 maple cure rashers (thick cut)
a ring of black and white hicks pudding (dunlaoghaire, none of that dalkey ****e!)
6 eggs
box o' green isle hashbrowns
a loaf of toast
scrambled eggs (for the lady)
beans!

i do a fry regularly for about 5 blokes on a saturday afternoon!

and the manwidge:

this alone will induce a heart attack, the less said of that the better at the moment.

basic ingredients:

french pan. the big yoke, not one of those girly demi's.
8 sausages (jumbo)
8 rashers (thick cut)
real butter all over.
4 eggs (cooked wide and thin)
12 hashbrowns.
lashings of ketchup

to be served to two hungover blokes... it should carry a health risk warning...

HashSlinging

cance wrote:

24 Jumbo denny sausages

Thats an instant fail in my book, you would be better using superquinn or any butchers sausages.

grumpytrousers

I think the fry itself is fine, but i'm disgusted at the lack of good strong builder tea...

coffee, oh i beg your pardon 'java', is all very well and good, but with a fry?!??

At the risk of alienating 75% of the BG&RH forum..........Tea is for pansies.

trout

Deleted User wrote:

At the risk of alienating 75% of the BG&RH forum..........Tea is for pansies.

brother ... i supported your fry ...a man's fry is sacred after all .. but you can't make a statement like that about the other golden nectar ... tay is god's gift to his creation.

pansies indeed ... that's fightin' talk :mad:

Cuddlesworth

cance wrote:

dont worry mine is coming:

to be expected:

24 Jumbo denny sausages
16 maple cure rashers (thick cut)
a ring of black and white hicks pudding (dunlaoghaire, none of that dalkey ****e!)
6 eggs
box o' green isle hashbrowns
a loaf of toast
scrambled eggs (for the lady)
beans!

i do a fry regularly for about 5 blokes on a saturday afternoon!

and the manwidge:

this alone will induce a heart attack, the less said of that the better at the moment.

basic ingredients:

french pan. the big yoke, not one of those girly demi's.
8 sausages (jumbo)
8 rashers (thick cut)
real butter all over.
4 eggs (cooked wide and thin)
12 hashbrowns.
lashings of ketchup

to be served to two hungover blokes... it should carry a health risk warning...

I really should get around to posting up those pictures for you..

Just so hard when my artery's are clogged.

DublinWriter

trout wrote:

brother ... i supported your fry ...a man's fry is sacred after all ..

Last Sunday I created the perfect fry, the sausages were a photogenic golden-brown, the rashers crisped to perfection and the pudding flash-fried to a succulent crumbly texture.

I was just about to take a pic when I felt dirty and wrong. A man's fry is a sacred thing. It was like a fellow Brother asking you to show you your mickey for comment and criticism.

Maybe next Sunday I'll take a pic, but I'll probably have to pixilate the sausages before feeling alright about posting it.

scojones

This cost me over a tenner to mail from my phone. Doh

Anyway, here she is in all her glory.

DublinWriter

scojones wrote:

Anyway, here she is in all her glory.

Bonus points for plain white plate and chopping the mushrooms BUT....

...what's that to the right? A Serviette? Surely not! What's wrong with using your sleeve?! Oh it's all gone wrong now, you should just put the plate on a frilly doyley and have done.

*despair*

scojones

That's not a serviette, it's kitchen roll. I spilt half the beans on the table when pouring them out. Wimmens think you look after yourself if you have kitchen roll about the place.

Shut up, the fry is glorious.

DublinWriter

scojones wrote:

Shut up, the fry is glorious.

As long as it wasn't ultra-absorbant 'Bounty' kitchen roll, and was the cheapest most water-resistant own-brand type kitchen roll that us men buy when de wimmen aren't watching, then a general pardon will be dispatched.

scojones

It was some shite I bought in LIDL.

DublinWriter

scojones wrote:

It was some shite I bought in LIDL.

You know what? I was in my local LIDL t'other day, musing over the sausages and saying to myself "these look edible".

But it was the sticker that read 'Now contains extra Lithuanian Dissadents!' that turned me off, personally.

trout

scojones wrote:

This cost me over a tenner to mail from my phone. Doh

Anyway, here she is in all her glory.

and such glory ... amazing fry ... kudos brother ... much kudos ... i can pay you no finer compliment than to say your fry is now my desktop background.

kitchen roll is just fine ... specially if you blow your nose with it... looks like sandpaper though

damn ... i'm hungry now so i am :cool:

Agent Smith

sorry, how the hell did that cost a tenner to send?

scojones

648kb, 2c per kb up to 512kb, 0.5c after.

petes

I want a fry now!!!

Thrill

scojones wrote:

Anyway, here she is in all her glory.

Mmmm......delish.

I'd love to see it in high definition.

Santa Claus

I indulged in a drunken fry in the Manhattan at about 4am this morning....Forgot to get a picture but I believe the ultimate is one which is cooked for you !

johnnyskeleton

Deleted User wrote:

At the risk of alienating 75% of the BG&RH forum..........Tea is for pansies.

I suggest that you read the title of this thread. Sure, a nice cup of coffee (black and strong) will, when added to bacon, eggs, saussages, etc, make a good breakfast, and any American person would be glad to have it, but a fry is not a fry without a cup of gold blend.

Another problem I have is with white pudding. It is becoming quite popular, to the extent that some "people" think it is superior to black pud. I say no.

A problem I have with both pictures is that there is too much delineation - i.e. you can see where the saussages stop and the bacon starts. A rightly great fry is one which blends together into a vaguely meaty blob.

Ingredients are what count:
1) The best saussages are superquinn; hicks are good but don't even come close
2) pud - clonakilty, west cork, hicks, in that order. people who eat shaws should be castrated. when you are stuck in some godforsaken place in the middle of nowhere, those denny/galtee ones are, in the circumstances, accpetable.
3) I'm partial to dunnes smoked back rashers, but I accept that denny are good too. streaky bacon should only be served in multiples of 10.
4) toast - has to be brennans if you're from dublin, should be burnt.
5) eggs - either undercooked and runny or sunnyside down and burnt. if scrambled should have bits of shell to give it texture.
6) beans - even if you don't like them they should be present to help mix the other ingredients together in a sauce. when i was in peru they served a fry with kidney beans because they didn't have real beans - god love em for trying.
7) other - onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, fried potatoes, fried bread etc are optional but recommended. i find hash browns to be a bit too fiddly to cook, but love em when you get them in a breakfast roll.
8) flavours - salt and pepper should be present in all parts of the fry. red sauce if you're irish, brown sauce if you're english, a mix of the two if you're a scot.
9) most importantly, the tasty bits from the bottom of the pan should be scraped onto the plate.
10) daily rag (but not the sunday paper) - should be placed so you can see the pictures, but never actually read.

OP, I would give 6/10, your big problems being the white pud and lack of tea, overall good emphasis on fundamentals (i.e. meats). You may improve that score if you used quality ingredients, and your score is further increased if you were still pissed from the night before and haven't slept yet.

Scojones, good work, fried potatoes, i like the chop which looks like a rancid lump of gazelle flesh that a lion left behind, there is a neatness to it which I am not happy about and the lack of toast and tea makes me doubtful - 7/10

DublinWriter

While driving about today, a horrible thought occured to me....no one had even mentioned fried bread in this thread yet!

Fried heel of a batch loaf FTW.