My New Assistant

Kintarō Hattori

My work load and responsibilites at work have been steadily increasing and as a result I just don't have the time to do everything they want me to do. I should add that I'm responsible for ordering about 50% of the computer stock that our company sells. I decide who we buy it from, in what quantities and how much to sell it for. I'm also responsible for looking after our website, putting up new products, taking down the old etc.

So they decided to hire an assistant for me and I have to say...... I can't stand him. He seems like a nice enough guy, but his habits are really starting to irritate me. He's a very nervous person and his voice and hands tremble. He walks with a slouch and doesn't lift one of his feet. He sits opposite me and I can hear him murmur and whimper under his breath alot (in the way that a nervous person sometimes does). When he speaks his mouth is often full of saliva and it sometimes bubbles at the corner of his mouth. Or if he laughs it'll come sailing out of his gob. He's not exactly lively, very quiet, doesn't talk so much to the other's or get involved in the office banter.
He's balding a bit and quite often he has a jar full of wax in his hair, and you can see the lines of the comb. He has eyebrow dandruff!!!

He doesn't seem to think logically about some of the work that he's doing and the end results don't make sense. It's simple enough to do, but he just doesn't seem to have thought about it.

So my question is, have you ever had to work with someone closely that you really didn't seem to click with. Not someon you didn't like because they were a w*nker, but just someone you couldn't warm to for whatever reason. I'll bet there are some interesting/mad stories.

Kinetic^

:rolleyes: Nice move hiring you an assistant without you involved in the process!!

c - 13

eo980 wrote:

He's a very nervous person and his voice and hands tremble. He walks with a slouch and doesn't lift one of his feet. He sits opposite me and I can hear him murmur and whimper under his breath alot (in the way that a nervous person sometimes does). When he speaks his mouth is often full of saliva and it sometimes bubbles at the corner of his mouth. Or if he laughs it'll come sailing out of his gob. He's not exactly lively, very quiet, doesn't talk so much to the other's or get involved in the office banter.
He's balding a bit and quite often he has a jar full of wax in his hair, and you can see the lines of the comb. He has eyebrow dandruff!!!

Is his name Igor and does he refer to you as master by any chance ?

Mrs_Doyle

Yeah, I don't get on with my boss.
He is also a nice enough guy, I know this because most people seem to like him, but we just don't get on.
Its not even an issue of not dealing well with authority figures, we just don't click at all.

Much like your situation, I was hired as his assistant, and I know I irritate the hell out of him, without even meaning to.
I try to stay out of his way as much as I can, but sometimes our paths just have to cross and there is always a bit of negative tension in the air.

In a few weeks time I'm actually getting an assistant who will take care of all the time consuming niggly bits that I just don't have enough time for anymore, so I hope to God that I get on well with them.

EDIT: I wont have anything to do with the choosing of my assistant. Although I will delegate work to the assistant and work closely with them, ultimately my boss will be in charge of both of us, so he will be the one to interview.

FlutterinBantam

Sounds like you are an important man to me

How come you had no input into the hiring of YOUR assistant yourself??

FlutterinBantam

Sorry Kenny ,you got in ahead of me


Troll???

alleepally

Yes, the very first proper job I had I just did not like the boss. He stood way too close when he talked to people, invading personal space which I just never got used to. I eventually walked out of the job one fine Monday morning after about a year and never looked back.

humanji

I don't get any say in hiring my assistants either. Luckily, my boss is quite a misogynist, so I always get really good looking girls

Trinity

eo980 wrote:

My work load and responsibilites at work have been steadily increasing and as a result I just don't have the time to do everything they want me to do. I should add that I'm responsible for ordering about 50% of the computer stock that our company sells. I decide who we buy it from, in what quantities and how much to sell it for. I'm also responsible for looking after our website, putting up new products, taking down the old etc.

So they decided to hire an assistant for me and I have to say...... I can't stand him. He seems like a nice enough guy, but his habits are really starting to irritate me. He's a very nervous person and his voice and hands tremble. He walks with a slouch and doesn't lift one of his feet. He sits opposite me and I can hear him murmur and whimper under his breath alot (in the way that a nervous person sometimes does). When he speaks his mouth is often full of saliva and it sometimes bubbles at the corner of his mouth. Or if he laughs it'll come sailing out of his gob. He's not exactly lively, very quiet, doesn't talk so much to the other's or get involved in the office banter.
He's balding a bit and quite often he has a jar full of wax in his hair, and you can see the lines of the comb. He has eyebrow dandruff!!!

He doesn't seem to think logically about some of the work that he's doing and the end results don't make sense. It's simple enough to do, but he just doesn't seem to have thought about it.

So my question is, have you ever had to work with someone closely that you really didn't seem to click with. Not someon you didn't like because they were a w*nker, but just someone you couldn't warm to for whatever reason. I'll bet there are some interesting/mad stories.

So hes a nice enough guy but the main reason you cant stand him is because of his appearance or personal grooming or how he laughs, walks, and the fact that he is of a nervous disposition?

The only people i dont like working with are people who think they are far better than everyone else and not as important and irreplacable as they would like to think, a trained chimp could have done their job better.

And of course a not so attractive girl who spent the whole day telling everyone how gorgeous she was. I dunno if she was supposed to be convincing us or herself.

Kinetic^

FlutterinBantam wrote:

Troll???

Nope, I just thought it was shocking that he hadn't got involved in the process at all.

Is it just me or do wimmin bosses tend to be the worst? (mass generalisation there I know, maybe I'm just unlucky)

Kintarō Hattori

Kenny 5 wrote:

:rolleyes: Nice move hiring you an assistant without you involved in the process!!

FlutterinBantam wrote:

How come you had no input into the hiring of YOUR assistant yourself??

Because that's how this company works. They sometimes do things assways. I believe he was hired because the MD isn't completely happy with the look of the website and this guy has some knowledge of web design. The thing is that we have NO chance of changing the look of the website as that is handled by a company and not ourselves. All we do is edit.
So he has some knowledge of web design but he knows practically nothing about the products that he's uploading to the website. To me, they hired the wrong guy.

Kintarō Hattori

Trinity1 wrote:

So hes a nice enough guy but the main reason you cant stand him is because of his appearance or personal grooming or how he laughs, walks, and the fact that he is of a nervous disposition?

No no I'm not that bad. It's the bubbling saliva, the flaky dandruff filled eyebrows, and the whimpering that I can all see directly infront of me, not 4 feet away. He's always sniffling and would never think of blowing his nose. These things do grate on you trinity.
Plus he doesn't know much about the work he's doing and I have to try and keep a close eye on the end result and correct the mistakes or highlight the mistakes he's made.

gucci

Kenny 5 wrote:

Is it just me or do wimmin bosses tend to be the worst? (mass generalisation there I know, maybe I'm just unlucky)

or worse those who arent actually your boss but are on an ego trip and think they can still tell you what to do and how to do it. i find sarcasm is an excellent combatant to that

John Mason

Kenny 5 wrote:

Nope, I just thought it was shocking that he hadn't got involved in the process at all.

Is it just me or do wimmin bosses tend to be the worst? (mass generalisation there I know, maybe I'm just unlucky)

OMG, wimmin boss are fu.cking horrible, actually nearly all women in business are horrible, i hate women, they make my life hell, they dont like straight talking, they have to beat around the bush and they hold grudges and take things personally - its work bit.ch lighten up - sorry rant over - you should have been allowed pick your own assistant though,

NutJob

Simple answer just do your work and go home i find this is the best way to get along with workmates.:D

If he's the nervous type he may loosen up after a while.

Red Alert

i've been lucky with any bosses i've had recently. one of the best (altho strictest) bosses i ever had was female, no messing around with her, and she expected you to be honest with her and wasn't afraid to give a good telling off when necessary. the most recent part-time job i had the boss was great - upfront and honest, and if you played ball with him he played ball with you.

i'm not great at delegating so i'd have to have a really good assistant i could trust (if i had an assistant)

dr.bollocko

irishbird wrote:

OMG, wimmin boss are fu.cking horrible, actually nearly all women in business are horrible, i hate women, they make my life hell, they dont like straight talking, they have to beat around the bush and they hold grudges and take things personally - its work bit.ch lighten up - sorry rant over - you should have been allowed pick your own assistant though,

Misogynist!
Ill get the feminists after you quick sharp!

iguana

Kenny 5 wrote:

Is it just me or do wimmin bosses tend to be the worst? (mass generalisation there I know, maybe I'm just unlucky)

What is "wimmin"? Some sort of water creature?

dr.bollocko

Definitions of wimmin on the Web:

Womyn is a term used by many radical feminists in order to degender the word women. Other spellings meant to perform the same function include "wimmin" (plural), wom!n, and "womban" (see womb). A common singular form, to refer to one person, is womon. A similar usage is "femal" instead of "female". All are pronounced the same as the conventional terms

iguana

So Kenny 5 is a radical feminist? Interesting.

AnonoBoy

eo980 wrote:

My work load and responsibilites at work have been steadily increasing and as a result I just don't have the time to do everything they want me to do. I should add that I'm responsible for ordering about 50% of the computer stock that our company sells. I decide who we buy it from, in what quantities and how much to sell it for. I'm also responsible for looking after our website, putting up new products, taking down the old etc.

So they decided to hire an assistant for me and I have to say...... I can't stand him. He seems like a nice enough guy, but his habits are really starting to irritate me. He's a very nervous person and his voice and hands tremble. He walks with a slouch and doesn't lift one of his feet. He sits opposite me and I can hear him murmur and whimper under his breath alot (in the way that a nervous person sometimes does). When he speaks his mouth is often full of saliva and it sometimes bubbles at the corner of his mouth. Or if he laughs it'll come sailing out of his gob. He's not exactly lively, very quiet, doesn't talk so much to the other's or get involved in the office banter.
He's balding a bit and quite often he has a jar full of wax in his hair, and you can see the lines of the comb. He has eyebrow dandruff!!!

He doesn't seem to think logically about some of the work that he's doing and the end results don't make sense. It's simple enough to do, but he just doesn't seem to have thought about it.

So my question is, have you ever had to work with someone closely that you really didn't seem to click with. Not someon you didn't like because they were a w*nker, but just someone you couldn't warm to for whatever reason. I'll bet there are some interesting/mad stories.

*sob* I can only do the best I know how.

That eyebrow dandruff is a CONDITION!!!!! WAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!:(

That's it - I'm quitting. You can find yourself a new assistant who covers up for your constant usage of boards.ie.

magpie

Have you tried taking the 'this guy is completely inappropriate for the position, please fire him and hire someone else" approach?

John Mason

dr.bollocko wrote:

Misogynist!
Ill get the feminists after you quick sharp!

LOL, i will take them all on hormonal idiots the lot of them ......

Pappa-eat-peach

eo980 wrote:

My work load and responsibilites at work have been steadily increasing and as a result I just don't have the time to do everything they want me to do. I should add that I'm responsible for ordering about 50% of the computer stock that our company sells. I decide who we buy it from, in what quantities and how much to sell it for. I'm also responsible for looking after our website, putting up new products, taking down the old etc.

So they decided to hire an assistant for me and I have to say...... I can't stand him. He seems like a nice enough guy, but his habits are really starting to irritate me. He's a very nervous person and his voice and hands tremble. He walks with a slouch and doesn't lift one of his feet. He sits opposite me and I can hear him murmur and whimper under his breath alot (in the way that a nervous person sometimes does). When he speaks his mouth is often full of saliva and it sometimes bubbles at the corner of his mouth. Or if he laughs it'll come sailing out of his gob. He's not exactly lively, very quiet, doesn't talk so much to the other's or get involved in the office banter.
He's balding a bit and quite often he has a jar full of wax in his hair, and you can see the lines of the comb. He has eyebrow dandruff!!!

He doesn't seem to think logically about some of the work that he's doing and the end results don't make sense. It's simple enough to do, but he just doesn't seem to have thought about it.

So my question is, have you ever had to work with someone closely that you really didn't seem to click with. Not someon you didn't like because they were a w*nker, but just someone you couldn't warm to for whatever reason. I'll bet there are some interesting/mad stories.

I thought you were happy with my work?:( The limp is due to a childhood injury, and the dandruff, well, that is psorisis.

Madge

Well obviously your new assistant must have some merit, considering he impressed enough at the interview stage and was hired in the first place!!

yom 1

eo980 wrote:

So my question is, have you ever had to work with someone closely that you really didn't seem to click with. .

Yeah there is one fcukin idiot I work with that I cant stand. She is the type of person that would ask anything about you but never ever tells you anythin about herself. She has worked here a year and I only found out she had a boyfriend of four years a few weeks ago.

Whats worse is she slurps everything she drinks. All I hear all day long is slluuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrppp. Wrecks my fcukin head.

[/rant]

Kinetic^

iguana wrote:

What is "wimmin"? Some sort of water creature?

Nobody is really sure what they are...........and I don't think we'll ever find out.



@ Irishbird, tis good to know I'm not the only one that thinks that way.

hottstuff

Hi all.

I've started a new Job as an assistant and i've been assigned to this guy , I have to say...... I can't stand him. He seems like a nice enough guy, but his personality is really starting to irritate me. He's a very confident person and his voice is deep and his hands are sticky. He walks with his chest stuck out and has a swagger like Noel Gallagher. He sits opposite me and sometimes i look up to catch him staring at me , trance-like , and looks away when i notice.(in the way that a closet homosexual sometimes does). When he speaks he always seems to be talking just for the sake of it. Or if he laughs it sounds like an old chest of drawers opening. He shows off in front of all the other office staff and likes to be the centre of attention in the office.(Always passes a glance at me though).
He has groomed hair like my mum and he always smells of old spice.

I try to do the work , but i cannot concentrate , especially when he is watching.Im just so nervous about losing my job , and afraid that he will make a pass at me , and i will be so afraid of losing my job that i will have to go along with it.

So my question is, have you ever had to work with someone closely that you really were afraid of. Not someon you didn't like because they were a w*nker, but just someone you couldn't warm to in case that warmth went too far.?
Thanks
Quasi


Sorry mate couldn't help it

__________________

kmick

I think women bosses are great as well. All my bosses have been women over th e past years. They are fine as long as you are straight with them. Tell them the truth and keep them in the loop on everything. Also they tend to like to do things in a painstaking thorough fashion rather than the half arsed, slapdash fashion that men usually use. However as you usually end up doing everything 3 times in life sometimes the half arsed way works.

Kintarō Hattori

hottstuff wrote:

Hi all.

I've started a new Job as an assistant and i've been assigned to this guy , I have to say...... I can't stand him. He seems like a nice enough guy, but his personality is really starting to irritate me. He's a very confident person and his voice is deep and his hands are sticky. He walks with his chest stuck out and has a swagger like Noel Gallagher. He sits opposite me and sometimes i look up to catch him staring at me , trance-like , and looks away when i notice.(in the way that a closet homosexual sometimes does). When he speaks he always seems to be talking just for the sake of it. Or if he laughs it sounds like an old chest of drawers opening. He shows off in front of all the other office staff and likes to be the centre of attention in the office.(Always passes a glance at me though).
He has groomed hair like my mum and he always smells of old spice.

I try to do the work , but i cannot concentrate , especially when he is watching.Im just so nervous about losing my job , and afraid that he will make a pass at me , and i will be so afraid of losing my job that i will have to go along with it.

So my question is, have you ever had to work with someone closely that you really were afraid of. Not someon you didn't like because they were a w*nker, but just someone you couldn't warm to in case that warmth went too far.?
Thanks
Quasi


Sorry mate couldn't help it

__________________

Hmnnnn.

Kintarō Hattori

I just had to hand him some toilet paper as he's been sniffling for most of the morning. If you've got the sniffles, blow your nose, it's simple! But he couldn't be bothered and just kept sniffling and sniffling and sniffling. I'm less than 4 feet away!!!! It's annoying.

You know the slurping sound people make when there is too much saliva in their mouth???? ............ All the time here.
Plus he smacks his lips together alot, and it's really loud.

I know it's small of me, but all these things in unison make it more than one man can bare!

Ruu_Old

Sounds like Milton.

FlutterinBantam

eo980 wrote:

I just had to hand him some toilet paper as he's been sniffling for most of the morning. If you've got the sniffles, blow your nose, it's simple! But he couldn't be bothered and just kept sniffling and sniffling and sniffling. I'm less than 4 feet away!!!! It's annoying.

You know the slurping sound people make when there is too much saliva in their mouth???? ............ All the time here.
Plus he smacks his lips together alot, and it's really loud.

I know it's small of me, but all these things in unison make it more than one man can bare!

Jaysus...get a gun and shoot the fcuker!!!!

c - 13

Milton Waddams wrote:

... And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

_Kaiser_

Judging by this thread I must be blessed!

I've been pushing for another person to be taken on due to the increasing workload, and was told last week that not only are we doing so, but I'll be on the interview panel, have written up the ad, and they'll be reporting to me allowing me to take on a more "supervisory" role and concentrate on "the bigger picture" - oh and there's gonna be "a few extra quid" in it for me as well

I love my job!!

Dave!

If he's incompetent then get onto your bosses about a new assistant; if he's just annoying, then you're up sh*t's creek. Ask about moving him to somewhere else so you don't have to see him constantly.

I started work recently with the most annoying, idiotic person in the world. I don't know how she got a job in the company. The work is only data entry, but this person is borderline retarded. Borderline nothing, she is retarded -- surely! There always seems to be someone you start with (if it's a group) who is anti-social and slow and holds back the whole team with their constant questions and mistakes. If there's none in your job...............




























...........it's YOU! :eek:

Kintarō Hattori

Kaiser2000 wrote:

Judging by this thread I must be blessed!

I've been pushing for another person to be taken on due to the increasing workload, and was told last week that not only are we doing so, but I'll be on the interview panel, have written up the ad, and they'll be reporting to me allowing me to take on a more "supervisory" role and concentrate on "the bigger picture" - oh and there's gonna be "a few extra quid" in it for me as well

I love my job!!

Hmnnn lucky git. I got an assistant but no say in who it was going to be and I haven't gotten any extra bucks. I've been pushing for a raise since October when the MD said, 'Hmnnn, with your new responsibilites I suppose you're due a raise'. Several months later, still nothing, despite repeated mentionings! Gits.