Would You Be Annoyed?

Kintarō Hattori

As a result of the following post in After Hours about choosing someone for a date my GF isn't speaking to me:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=52994614&postcount=35

She was trawling through the history in Internet Explorer and was asking why there were images of the said ladies.
I didn't delete the history as I don't think I've done anything wrong, so had nothing to hide.
I constantly tell her I love her, I look after her very well, I spoil her etc, but she has a major problem with jealousy as I've mentioned here in the past.

So my question is, would you have a problem if you're partner searched Google Images for pictures of these people to link to in the thread?

I'd have a problem if someone had a problem with my doing that.
I do stuff like that all the time. The bf knows quite well. Thankfully he doesn't have a jealous bone in his body...
tell her to get over it.

super_furry

Indeed. I think you have a right to be more indignant over her going through your internet history. Unless she gouges your eyes out, you're going to see great looking women every single day - it doesn't mean a thing and she's behaving stupidly.

leeroybrown

If you're lucky maybe she'll be reading all the other pages you visit and see all the posts here from other people saying what a small minded, spiteful, insecure, jealous little cow she is being. Although it's probably more likely that she'll fly off the handle about this too. It's bad enough her feeling the need to go sneaking through your Internet history without stopping talking to you over a random pictures of celebrities.

Personally speaking I don't think it's worth the hassle to go out with someone who thinks like this.

Talliesin

eo980 wrote:

So my question is, would you have a problem if you're partner searched Google Images for pictures of these people to link to in the thread?

Maybe if you knew Minnie Driver or Danni Minogue personally, she'd have a bit of a point.

LegacyUser

She seems a mess, I wouldn't spoil her any more. I would simply tell her to PFO until she sorts herself out.

DrawYourSword

I was expectin the link to have like some porn star pictures on it or something man!
You really need to sit down and talk about that, she will need to chill out a bit and maybe talk to some one about it, in my eyes thats a bit far fetched. Something like taht shouldnt change the way you act around each other and you've already started changing the way you act.

If you love her it could be worth the wait tho dude
Best of luck

Nightwish

I know for a fact my bf looks at porn on the net, so clothed pics of either Minnie Driver or Danni Minogue definately wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Seems like the OP's girlfriend has issues.

Stench Blossoms

Your girlfriend needs to grow up and cop on.

talkingclock

dunno her, but maybe a inferiority feeling of herself?
If yer missus is about to sniffle in your browser's history again and she reads this: Grow up, girl!

oleras

2 options i think

1) Auto dump history on shutdown.

2) Auto dump history on shutdown.....................

Not that hard for an easy life is it ?

wyndham

Every week it's something different with her. I'd say the underlying problem is that your penis is too small. Maybe do a J1/go to Australia for a year/join a club/gym/evening class.

Kintarō Hattori

wyndham wrote:

Every week it's something different with her. I'd say the underlying problem is that your penis is too small. Maybe do a J1/go to Australia for a year/join a club/gym/evening class.

Hmnnn it's been quite sometime since I posted something in personal issue's about my girlfriend and I, and the last time I did, it was in relation to jealousy as well. It's definetly not a penis size issue!

No the underlying issue is that she suffer's from terrible terrible jealousy. Other than this issue she is an amazing lady and we've been together for two and a half year's. I'd like a long happy and healthy relationship with her, so I'm not prepared to just give up on it without trying to sort the issue's out.
I guess we'll need to go to someone, a counsellor or something of the sort.

Does anyone have any idea's where we could go to try and address her jealousy issue's?

Caliden

Sit her down and talk about it?
What's the big deal?

LegacyUser

"Looking For One Bedroom Apartment for Couple - Commutable to City Centre ::: Up to €1000pm. Good Ref's Available."

Your signature is making me worried too. How can you move in with someone who is that jealous?

Creamy Goodness

she has over reacted but tbh after how she found out do you think it's the smartest thing posting this?

iguana

I can't really see how that would annoy her. Those were two pretty innocent pictures and you wrote how you fancied your gf so much more.

Ask her does she fancy any famous people and has she ever discussed this attraction with her friend. Because if she has ever done this since you two have been together she is being a hypocrite.

Trinity

I'm the most jealous person i know but that thread wouldnt even bother me tbh.

I dont recall a previous post about her being jealous just the one when she caused a row over you encouraging her to give back the 500 euro people dropped.

EO980, you are obvoiusly mad about this girl and thats cool. But please be careful. It seems in your eyes this girl can do no wrong.

A little bit of jealousy is no harm but not speaking to you over this is way OTT, and believe me i would be the jealous type as i said already. Not something i am proud of btw.

Its nice that you are willing to work on it, but these are her insecurities and therefore only she can deal with them. Perhaps counselling for herself might not be a bad idea.

I dont know this girl and cant make judgements but just go into this with your eyes wide open. It can be a warning sign of things to come. You seem to treat her well, she should afford you the same respect. Perhaps you have given her the princess complex.

Seraphina

im sorry, she wouldn't talk to you over a goldfrapp dvd (if i remember correctly) and now this?

she needs a serious reality check, she is not the only woman in your life, and she needs to realise this. yeah she's your girlfriend and you love her, but thats farrr too extreme.
before you know it, you'll have moved in together and she wont be letting you go out when your female friends are going out or something.

i mean all girls get a little jealous and/or insecure sometimes, but thats totally ripping the piss. what kind of relationship is it if she has you walking on eggshells constantly, hiding what you read on the internet. not allowing you to look at women? ffs like!

Seraphina

Seraphina wrote:

before you know it, you'll have moved in together and she wont be letting you go out when your female friends are going out or something.

There've been threads about stuff like this happening I think. So yeah, it's a possibility. Watch it, OP. Stop treating her like a princess, seriously.

chump

bejangles, she has some issues - maybe she should see a shrink?

WindSock

You must see the rediculenesless (sp?) of it all yourself. I know you're probably posting here for some reinforcement, but you need to confront her on this silly behaviour or else there's probably no point in having a relationship if she doesn't 'trust' you to admire celebrities.

Jotter

My ex boyf would have classed me as a jealous manic, its very embarressing to think of the stuff I used to get annoyed about tbh. But since I met my now husband he was and is the biggest flirt ever, looks at porn, looks and comments on women in the street and I have to say I dont bat an eyelid. It honestly doesnt bother me one bit. I put most of this down to the fact that he makes me feel very secure and sexy etc and we have a great relationship but I also think its bec Im older and hence wiser !!! Im just wondering is your girlfriend in her late teens early 20's? Dont get me wrong Im not the aul wan I sound (im 26!!) but up until I was 21 I was such a cringeworthy eejit. My aunt has a theory that woman are stupid jealous when theyre young, men are stupid jealous as they age!

LegacyUser

She is a sad case and if you stay with her she will be telling you what colour jocks to wear in 6 months time. She obviously has SERIOUS confidence issues.

Miguel_Sanchez

Minnie Driver? Seriously?

Maybe that's what she has the problem with. And rightly so.

Kintarō Hattori

We've been living together for nearly two and a half years, so I know what she's like. She's a great girl in every other respect, well liked, funny, interesting etc, just a tad jealous.
She's 28 and she does have some self confidence issue's. I've told her that she shouldn't have, as I love her to bits, she is a good looking girl and well liked among her friends. But that's it, she does have some sort of confidence issue's to come to terms with and I'm trying to work towards resolving this. Telling me she's a bunny boiler, or that she'll be telling me what to wear in six months isn't helpful.
I've been living with her for a number of years, I do love her very much as in every other way she is fantastic, but she does have one problematic area. We need to try and work on this, and see what happens when we actually try to fix this problem. Some help or advice on this aspect would be great. Where to go, who to see etc.

Talliesin

eo980 wrote:

just a tad jealous.

This is simply not true.

You have not described someone that is "just a tad jealous".

Someone who is a tad jealous would over-estimate the significance of the time you were spending with Minnie Driver rather than her; they'd know there was nothing between you and Minnie, just be a tad upset that you were out with Minnie instead of with her.

Someone who is very jealous would wonder if perhaps when you are spending time with Minnie Driver you could perhaps be behaving inappropriately with her.

Someone who is extremely jealous would convince themselves you were definitely having an affair with Minnie Driver, and that every time you went somewhere with Minnie, that you were actually having sex.

Someone who is pathologically jealous would convince themselves that you were having an affair with Minnie Driver, even though there was ample evidence that your relationship with Minnie Driver was 100% platonic.

Fitting anywhere on the scale at all requires you to at least occasionally meet Minnie Driver.

Kintarō Hattori

I didn't literally mean, 'just a tad jealous'. I was being a little tongue in cheek as I have listed here today and another time in the past crazy small things that have set her off.

Talliesin

Does she see that there is a problem with this?

If she does, then it's up to her to deal with it. She is making judgements in a way that is irrational and, more importantly, leading to incorrect conclusions that then lead her to hurt you. If she loves you and is self-aware enough to realise she has a problem, then she needs to get help.

If she doesn't, then you need to get out.

scoey

eo980 wrote:

As a result of the following post in After Hours about choosing someone for a date my GF isn't speaking to me:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=52994614&postcount=35

She was trawling through the history in Internet Explorer and was asking why there were images of the said ladies.
I didn't delete the history as I don't think I've done anything wrong, so had nothing to hide.
I constantly tell her I love her, I look after her very well, I spoil her etc, but she has a major problem with jealousy as I've mentioned here in the past.

So my question is, would you have a problem if you're partner searched Google Images for pictures of these people to link to in the thread?

She sounds incredibly immature. Also, I wouldn't like it at all if somebody was snooping around my internet history to find things to hold against me. I say leave her to her sulking and if I were you I'd have a serious think about the relationship. I'm sure that sounds harsh, and you won't anyway, so, try not to let tiptoeing around her insecurities/trying not to upset her in any way get you down too much and try not to give up too much of your dignity in the process..

Clarehobo

When I read the thread first, I thought she was about 16/17.

eo980: no offence, but if my bf went through my history & started looking at all my posts I'd be very worried. This is stalkerish behaviour & totally unhealthy.

Personally, I'd have my bags packed before you can say the words "restraining order".

But since you love her & are in it for the long haul, you need to face the truth: She needs counselling.

Maybe couples therapy would help in the long run, but I think she needs to deal with her own esteem issues first. She must have some sort of self-esteem issues, otherwise whe would not be so insecure & jealous when she has a bf that treats her like a queen.

She most definitely needs counselling.

Attol

Have you ever cheated on her or betrayed her trust in some major way? I used to have serious issues with this one guy who cheated and lied regularly. We'd get back together but I'd be terrified of him screwing me over again. He'd tell me I was being silly and I'd try not to worry about things but even little things started to get to me. It was ridiculous but it's hard to trust someone about anything if they lie about every little thing. Worry can make you go a little crazy so maybe that's where the insecurity is coming from? When I stopped worrying and started trusting him again he'd always let me down again. It was ridiculous. Maybe she's afraid to let her guard down. The only way to fix that is to just not screw up again and be 100% honest all the time. I don't know her though so this could all be totally irrelevant but just another perspective to the "it's all her fault" point of view. What she's done is VERY extreme though so the issues could be worse than you think?

Clarehobo

I just think that even if he had cheated on her, it still would not justify this behaviour.

If I was going out with a fella I loved, he cheated on me & I started acting like this after we had gotten back together, I would actually acknowledge how scarily crazy and self-destructive my behaviour is and I would end the relationship due to my mental issues.

My sister's husband is horribly possessive of her: calls her frequently on her mobile if she is away from him, etc... She has never given him reason to act this way.
She has absolutely no comfort or life to herself because of it. We can't go for a coffee without him texting & calling her.
I know it used p15s her off for the first few years...

I understand that relationships & marriages are about sharing a life together.
However, I am a person who would not be able to tolerate that type of behaviour: you either trust me or you don't.
I need my privacy and to feel trusted by my partner as much as the next person.
If a guy didn't trust me enough to not go through my phone, email, internet history, personal organiser, etc... then I would choose not to be in a relationship with him.

Kintarō Hattori

So where do you go for relationship counselling? It's not exactly something you run into in everyday life! What organization etc?
No I've never cheated on her, or ever would. I try to be a decent sort of person and it's just not in my nature to ever do anything like that.

She goes to bed much earlier than me, and when she goes I'll lie down with her for 30-40 mins until she gets sleepy and go later.
I don't have to leave the apartment until 9:15am for work, but I get up at 7am with her, have breakfast and see her off. Not exactly the behaviour of someone who would contemplate cheating on her, I think!

I'm pretty sure I'm her first serious, proper boyfriend, so as far as I can tell she was never in a relationship before where she was open to being hurt. She's a very good/cute looking lady who draw's glances from guys when we're out. She's popular with her friends and in social groups. She's worked hard and has a pretty decent job at the moment, although it is contract based. So I just don't know why she has self-esteem/confidence issue's.

Attol

I didn't say it was justified clarehobo, I was just suggesting that there could be something causing it and she could just have been not addressing it in a constructive way.

I'd say just sit her down and have a huge chat. Talk it through with her and find out if there are issues.

If counselling is definitely the way forward there have been some ads lately for relationship counselling around lately. There were some around Donnybrook anyway. I just think that that could be a little OTT? Have you tried to communicate how this is upsetting you and asked if there's something wrong?

Clarehobo

You sound like a proper gentleman from all your posts.
And tbh, I think you realise this behaviour on her part is pretty destructive to you both.

There's no explaining self-esteem issues, especially when it comes to relationships. Some of my friends are extremely strong & confident women, but when they get into relationships (me included on this btw) all common sense & reasoning goes out the window.
I think you just need to eventually acknowledge any flaws you worry about & realise that your partner is with you because he has accepted you, flaws & all. That wee bit of an insight comes from having been in multiple relationships and your gf is new to all this.

I reckon, sit her down & have a chat with her about her trust issues. You need to explain to her that it's irrational and harmful. If ye don't sort it out by talking about it, then ask her would she be willing to go to couples counselling to see if ye can work through it together.

WRT counselling, got on google: I think your best bet is contact the main body below and have a chat with them about who is best in your area.

http://www.irish-counselling.ie/contactus.htm

There's a couple of services popped up on the search:
They seem to be mainly aimed towards married couples

http://www.mrcs.ie/
http://www.accord.ie/marriage_and_relationship_counselling/

(The second one sounds quite good, plus they assess the cost on a case by case basis - I think counselling can get expensive, but don't quote me)


Anyways, good luck with this.
It's a tough thing to suggest to someone but if she goes for the counselling with you & you both sort through the issues in your relationship, it'll be well worth it.

Clarehobo

Attol wrote:

I didn't say it was justified clarehobo, I was just suggesting that there could be something causing it and she could just have been not addressing it in a constructive way.

I'd say just sit her down and have a huge chat. Talk it through with her and find out if there are issues.

If counselling is definitely the way forward there have been some ads lately for relationship counselling around lately. There were some around Donnybrook anyway. I just think that that could be a little OTT? Have you tried to communicate how this is upsetting you and asked if there's something wrong?

sorry Attol, just saw your post & it is a fair point you are raising.
But, if she is so irrational as to go through his internet history & give out to him for putting links to various photos of celebs on his posts, something is very wrong.

Kintarō Hattori

Thanks for the links Clarehobo, I'll most certainly look into it.
I have sat her down in the past and mentioned that this is a major issue that we have to deal with. It's very destructive and potentially something that could endanger our relationship. I've tried talking to her about it, and I've mentioned the whole counselling thing, but she just says that it's who she is and it's a part of her. She acknowledges that it's not good and could do irreparable damage to our relationship, but she doesn't seem to realise the severity of it or the fact that something has to be done about it.

I think it's simply going to require me to phone up or call into one of these places, make an appointment and have us visit. Whether she likes it or not, I think a serious 'toe in the hole' is going to be required. More action and less talk. I know that's perhaps not the way that it should be, but aren't some people incapable of helping themselves? I think she might be a person like that and it'll require action on my part.

Clarehobo

eo980 wrote:

I've tried talking to her about it, and I've mentioned the whole counselling thing, but she just says that it's who she is and it's a part of her. She acknowledges that it's not good and could do irreparable damage to our relationship, but she doesn't seem to realise the severity of it or the fact that something has to be done about it.

I think it's simply going to require me to phone up or call into one of these places, make an appointment and have us visit. Whether she likes it or not, I think a serious 'toe in the hole' is going to be required. More action and less talk. I know that's perhaps not the way that it should be, but aren't some people incapable of helping themselves? I think she might be a person like that and it'll require action on my part.

No probs; I got a masters in googling in UL;)

Basically, if both of you are in it for the long haul & she loves you, she will eventually accept the fact that she is hurting you with this behaviour & that counselling is required for you both to work through it.
Initially, I was going to suggest that she should just go for counselling on her own because it is her issue but it will probably strengthen your relationship & she would be more likely to attend if both of ye went....

Talliesin

eo980 wrote:

So where do you go for relationship counselling? It's not exactly something you run into in everyday life!

Of course it is. Look at http://www.mrcs.ie/, go to google, or open the Golden Pages.

OLDYELLAR

Talliesin wrote:

Maybe if you knew Minnie Driver or Danni Minogue personally, she'd have a bit of a point.

Yea I d have to agree with this . Geeting jealous about famous people is a bit extreme.To be fair she could of found a lot worse so she should be counting herself lucky it was just a bit of banter about celebs.

Trinity

EO - I will say it again.

I dont think it is relationship counselling you need. You sound like the perfect boyfriend. Although there are 2 sides to every story.

This girl needs to work on her own insecurities. Sure you can make the appointment, bring her, even pay for it.

But this jealousy is something that stems from inside her and its definately not something you are doing to cause it. If you are as perfect as you sound well god knows you couldnt possibly do anymore to make her feel loved.

Perhaps there is something from her past you dont know about. Your relationship sounds ok, i dont think a relationship counsellor can solve her problems, they sound more personal than a joint issue

You've done nothing wrong looking at minnie driver on the internet. Did someone mention in an earlier post that she freaked cos you bought a CD/DVD with a cute girl on the front? I remember this post and thought it was crazy and apologise if it wasnt you posting.

You know I dont think one person on here will say she was justified and i do know from previous posts that you are quite defensive when it comes to your gf, and rightly so.

But if you post you have to be prepared for peoples honest replies and the fact that you have been so open in other posts people will not just judge on this post but will put 2 and 2 together. One incident and our opinion might have been oh maybe it was PMS, she will apologise later!!

I'm sure you are aware that it is possible to post unregged in PI?

Sit down and talk to her before deciding which road to take counselling wise. Is she confident in work? Around groups? Is this issue just with you?

Just one more question. Are you the jealous/possessive type? Do you go to bed with her and get up with her cos she asks you to?

Does she have much personal space?

Kintarō Hattori

Talliesin wrote:

Of course it is. Look at http://www.mrcs.ie/, go to google, or open the Golden Pages.

For me not really, I wouldn't have come across this every day.

Trinity1 wrote:

Did someone mention in an earlier post that she freaked cos you bought a CD/DVD with a cute girl on the front? I remember this post and thought it was crazy and apologise if it wasnt you posting.

No, that was me alright.

Trinity1 wrote:

I'm sure you are aware that it is possible to post unregged in PI?

I am indeed, but I don't feel I need to go unregged.

Trinity1 wrote:

Are you the jealous/possessive type? Do you go to bed with her and get up with her cos she asks you to?

Does she have much personal space?

I'm not the jealous type at all. She has half jokingly brought this up before, asking me why I don't get jealous. She's never given me any reason too.

I do go to bed and get up with her because she asks me too, but also because I want to. At night it's a good chance to be honest/open with each other, talk about the day etc.

She doesn't have much personal space, and neither do I to be quite frank. She has ZERO hobbies. I've asked her before what her hobbies were and she jokingly said me. I've tried to motivate her into doing something, but she literally doesn't have any interests. If she's not doing something then she spends alot of time stressing out about her job. She work's in a bank's headquarters which probably can be stressful but I think she really brings alot of the stress on herself when there's really no need for it.

I know this is a bad bad situation and I've taken steps to give ourselves some personal space. On a saturday morning I'll go and meet my best friend which gives both of us some time to ourselves.

dellas1979

My partner idoloises super woman. He had a big crush on her when he was younger, and now she is back on living TV - so happy days! I dont mind - I laugh at him.

There is one thing he does/used to do, he would comment on the women on TV ("oh shes an ugly bird", "Oh she is actually quite pretty"). Drove me nuts. He has a very bad habit of commenting on people (the other night we were out he was saying that one of the girls had a big nose!).

I told him it annoyed me. Anyways, look, you need to be annoyed with her for doing that. You seems a little bit "walk all over me" kinda person??? (not meant as an insult).

dellas1979

dellas1979 wrote:

My partner idoloises super woman. He had a big crush on her when he was younger, and now she is back on living TV - so happy days! I dont mind - I laugh at him.

LoL I was watching that yesterday! I wasn't impressed when she was knocked out by the tear gas though.

@ the op

On the topic-yes this is silly.Does your GF not realise that looking for a man that doesn't look at other women and want to comment is pointless.
They don't exist.
What you are doing is normal-what she is doing is not.

You should consider showing her this thread if she hasnt already seen it.

Trinity

eo980 wrote:

I'm not the jealous type at all. She has half jokingly brought this up before, asking me why I don't get jealous. She's never given me any reason too.

I do go to bed and get up with her because she asks me too, but also because I want to. At night it's a good chance to be honest/open with each other, talk about the day etc.

She doesn't have much personal space, and neither do I to be quite frank. She has ZERO hobbies. I've asked her before what her hobbies were and she jokingly said me. I've tried to motivate her into doing something, but she literally doesn't have any interests. If she's not doing something then she spends alot of time stressing out about her job. She work's in a bank's headquarters which probably can be stressful but I think she really brings alot of the stress on herself when there's really no need for it.

I know this is a bad bad situation and I've taken steps to give ourselves some personal space. On a saturday morning I'll go and meet my best friend which gives both of us some time to ourselves.

Its possible she wasnt joking. People can become very attached and dependant on each other. While its probably cute and cosy and the start, it is very unhealthy and can be the ultimate downfall in an otherwise good relationship.

She has gotten used to it, being treated well, you being there for her and while it is important that she can rely on you, you can see where it has led. Its almost childlike.

you need to sit down and talk to her about it. I am not saying threaten her by any means but you must make her see that this has a very detrimental affect on any relationship and you are only human. Life is too short.

She needs to have a life outside of you. I can almost see why she is reacting this way. You are her world and anyone that takes away your time and affection (even celebs on the internet) can make her feel threatened and insecure.

This may make you feel good for now that she loves you so much but its not a healthy love that drives people to this behaviour. Its fear.

You obviously love this girl very much and if you want to keep her you have to nip this in the bud now. she needs girly nights out and a life outside of you as you need to have your lads night out.

Project yourself 5 or 10 years into the future and you will not be a happy man if this continues. She wont be happy either btw. And situations like this can only end in tears.

FOr the sake of the relationship cut the apron strings now. Explain to her you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her but you cannot go on this way.

Beruthiel

eo980 wrote:

She doesn't have much personal space, and neither do I to be quite frank.

I honestly don't know how either of you can cope with that.

She has ZERO hobbies.

This I really don't get. What does she do with her spare time then? Does she never read a book, stick on a dvd, listen to an album, play the xbox for an hour, go for a walk, whatever, she must fill her evening hours somehow?

I've tried to motivate her into doing something, but she literally doesn't have any interests.

Dangerous tbh. None of us can predict the future, if ye were to split up for whatever reason, she has absolutely nothing to fall back on by the sounds of it. Not a good position to be in and very unhealthy. For her own sake she must make some sort of a life for herself outside of you.
Being totally dependant on just one person to fill your needs is never, ever a good idea. You are there to enrich her life, not to be an all consuming part of it.

Kintarō Hattori

Beruthiel wrote:

I honestly don't know how either of you can cope with that.

It's a toughie alright, but something I've kinda started to address and will try and develop more.


This I really don't get. What does she do with her spare time then? Does she never read a book, stick on a dvd, listen to an album, play the xbox for an hour, go for a walk, whatever, she must fill her evening hours somehow?

She'll either want to talk to me or she'll sit on the couch mopping, thinking about work and not really doing too much. She really doesn't do any of the above. I think she's way to pre-occupied with work, it's always on her mind and she's always stressed out by it.
I bought her an iPod, but she only really uses that in the mornings on the way to work, and it was a struggle to get her to use it as she'd usually just leave it behind her.

Beruthiel wrote:

Dangerous tbh. None of us can predict the future, if ye were to split up for whatever reason, she has absolutely nothing to fall back on by the sounds of it. Not a good position to be in and very unhealthy. For her own sake she must make some sort of a life for herself outside of you.
Being totally dependant on just one person to fill your needs is never, ever a good idea. You are there to enrich her live, not to be an all consuming part of it.

Aye I know and I agree. When I get home from work I like to do stuff, rather than just sitting around. Go out for a walk, go to the cinema, vist friends etc. I think I'm going to have to make her do stuff and get her more active.

Trinity

eo980 wrote:

I think I'm going to have to make her do stuff and get her more active.

Yes but without you.

BoozyBabe

Jeez, I'm really sorry, but how exactly is she wonderful?

Firstly:- the issue of jealousy? That's crazy!!! Two photos of fully clothed celebs, pics on DVD's? That's ridiculous!
I think she's a little princess who has just gotten used to getting her own way by pulling strops!!!

She comes home from work & just mopes around. Bundle of laughs!! Or whines about her work. How is this fun for you?

Doesn't want to do anything besides mope & whine. Again, how is this fun for you?

Wants you to go to bed with her to cuddle her off to sleep & get up 2 hours before your time to have breakfast with her!!! You say you like to do this. Perhaps your life is easier that way?????

You discuss the fact that this is an issue for you, she says practically that it's part of her & tough, get to like it??????

How are you having fun in this relationship?
You sound like a very sweet & caring person. You obviously love her very much, but you sound like you're very different than her.
& you sound like you're evolving your way of life so that it suits how she likes it, instead of what you like.

You seriously need to get her to cop on!!!!! This jealousy WILL ruin ye. If your not fed up of it now, you will eventually get fed up of it, as you will get fed up of her moping & the lack of any past times.

I wish you luck. What you have sounds like a nightmare, but so long as you're happy, right!

Kintarō Hattori

I can see how you could interpret this situation BoozyBabe, but yes I do have a good time in this relationship. We do have a good time together and she does alot for me.
In fairness this whole thread is pretty much centered around one very negative aspect of the relationship. Granted it's a major obstacle, but you are pretty much getting just one side of the story. She is funny, sweet, caring etc. It's not all doom and gloom. I'm by no means a doormat and if I really thought there could be no positive outcome I would call a halt on things, but OTHER than this major obstacle she is a great lady that I do love and I'm willing to try and work this out.

The one good thing I inherited from my mother was her patience and I sometimes think I have too much!