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Would You Be Annoyed?

  • 01-04-2007 12:31PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,098 ✭✭✭✭Kintarō Hattori


    As a result of the following post in After Hours about choosing someone for a date my GF isn't speaking to me:
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=52994614&postcount=35

    She was trawling through the history in Internet Explorer and was asking why there were images of the said ladies.
    I didn't delete the history as I don't think I've done anything wrong, so had nothing to hide.
    I constantly tell her I love her, I look after her very well, I spoil her etc, but she has a major problem with jealousy as I've mentioned here in the past.

    So my question is, would you have a problem if you're partner searched Google Images for pictures of these people to link to in the thread?


«13

Comments

  • Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Luka Sticky Movement


    I'd have a problem if someone had a problem with my doing that.
    I do stuff like that all the time. The bf knows quite well. Thankfully he doesn't have a jealous bone in his body...
    tell her to get over it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,365 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    Indeed. I think you have a right to be more indignant over her going through your internet history. Unless she gouges your eyes out, you're going to see great looking women every single day - it doesn't mean a thing and she's behaving stupidly.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,562 ✭✭✭leeroybrown


    If you're lucky maybe she'll be reading all the other pages you visit and see all the posts here from other people saying what a small minded, spiteful, insecure, jealous little cow she is being. Although it's probably more likely that she'll fly off the handle about this too. It's bad enough her feeling the need to go sneaking through your Internet history without stopping talking to you over a random pictures of celebrities.

    Personally speaking I don't think it's worth the hassle to go out with someone who thinks like this.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    eo980 wrote:
    So my question is, would you have a problem if you're partner searched Google Images for pictures of these people to link to in the thread?
    Maybe if you knew Minnie Driver or Danni Minogue personally, she'd have a bit of a point.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    She seems a mess, I wouldn't spoil her any more. I would simply tell her to PFO until she sorts herself out.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35 DrawYourSword


    I was expectin the link to have like some porn star pictures on it or something man!
    You really need to sit down and talk about that, she will need to chill out a bit and maybe talk to some one about it, in my eyes thats a bit far fetched. Something like taht shouldnt change the way you act around each other and you've already started changing the way you act.

    If you love her it could be worth the wait tho dude
    Best of luck


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,129 ✭✭✭Nightwish


    I know for a fact my bf looks at porn on the net, so clothed pics of either Minnie Driver or Danni Minogue definately wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Seems like the OP's girlfriend has issues.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,390 ✭✭✭Stench Blossoms


    Your girlfriend needs to grow up and cop on.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,066 ✭✭✭talkingclock


    dunno her, but maybe a inferiority feeling of herself?
    If yer missus is about to sniffle in your browser's history again and she reads this: Grow up, girl!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,754 ✭✭✭oleras


    2 options i think

    1) Auto dump history on shutdown.

    2) Auto dump history on shutdown.....................

    Not that hard for an easy life is it ?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,284 ✭✭✭wyndham


    Every week it's something different with her. I'd say the underlying problem is that your penis is too small. Maybe do a J1/go to Australia for a year/join a club/gym/evening class.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,098 ✭✭✭✭Kintarō Hattori


    wyndham wrote:
    Every week it's something different with her. I'd say the underlying problem is that your penis is too small. Maybe do a J1/go to Australia for a year/join a club/gym/evening class.



    Hmnnn it's been quite sometime since I posted something in personal issue's about my girlfriend and I, and the last time I did, it was in relation to jealousy as well. It's definetly not a penis size issue!

    No the underlying issue is that she suffer's from terrible terrible jealousy. Other than this issue she is an amazing lady and we've been together for two and a half year's. I'd like a long happy and healthy relationship with her, so I'm not prepared to just give up on it without trying to sort the issue's out.
    I guess we'll need to go to someone, a counsellor or something of the sort.

    Does anyone have any idea's where we could go to try and address her jealousy issue's?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,981 ✭✭✭Caliden


    Sit her down and talk about it? :confused:
    What's the big deal?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    "Looking For One Bedroom Apartment for Couple - Commutable to City Centre ::: Up to €1000pm. Good Ref's Available."

    Your signature is making me worried too. How can you move in with someone who is that jealous?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,445 ✭✭✭✭Creamy Goodness


    she has over reacted but tbh after how she found out do you think it's the smartest thing posting this?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,909 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    I can't really see how that would annoy her. Those were two pretty innocent pictures and you wrote how you fancied your gf so much more.

    Ask her does she fancy any famous people and has she ever discussed this attraction with her friend. Because if she has ever done this since you two have been together she is being a hypocrite.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭Trinity


    I'm the most jealous person i know but that thread wouldnt even bother me tbh.

    I dont recall a previous post about her being jealous just the one when she caused a row over you encouraging her to give back the 500 euro people dropped.

    EO980, you are obvoiusly mad about this girl and thats cool. But please be careful. It seems in your eyes this girl can do no wrong.

    A little bit of jealousy is no harm but not speaking to you over this is way OTT, and believe me i would be the jealous type as i said already. Not something i am proud of btw.

    Its nice that you are willing to work on it, but these are her insecurities and therefore only she can deal with them. Perhaps counselling for herself might not be a bad idea.

    I dont know this girl and cant make judgements but just go into this with your eyes wide open. It can be a warning sign of things to come. You seem to treat her well, she should afford you the same respect. Perhaps you have given her the princess complex.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,875 ✭✭✭Seraphina


    im sorry, she wouldn't talk to you over a goldfrapp dvd (if i remember correctly) and now this?

    she needs a serious reality check, she is not the only woman in your life, and she needs to realise this. yeah she's your girlfriend and you love her, but thats farrr too extreme.
    before you know it, you'll have moved in together and she wont be letting you go out when your female friends are going out or something.

    i mean all girls get a little jealous and/or insecure sometimes, but thats totally ripping the piss. what kind of relationship is it if she has you walking on eggshells constantly, hiding what you read on the internet. not allowing you to look at women? ffs like!


  • Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Luka Sticky Movement


    Seraphina wrote:
    before you know it, you'll have moved in together and she wont be letting you go out when your female friends are going out or something.
    There've been threads about stuff like this happening I think. So yeah, it's a possibility. Watch it, OP. Stop treating her like a princess, seriously.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,807 ✭✭✭chump


    bejangles, she has some issues - maybe she should see a shrink?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    You must see the rediculenesless (sp?) of it all yourself. I know you're probably posting here for some reinforcement, but you need to confront her on this silly behaviour or else there's probably no point in having a relationship if she doesn't 'trust' you to admire celebrities.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 224 ✭✭Jotter


    My ex boyf would have classed me as a jealous manic, its very embarressing to think of the stuff I used to get annoyed about tbh. But since I met my now husband he was and is the biggest flirt ever, looks at porn, looks and comments on women in the street and I have to say I dont bat an eyelid. It honestly doesnt bother me one bit. I put most of this down to the fact that he makes me feel very secure and sexy etc and we have a great relationship but I also think its bec Im older and hence wiser !!! Im just wondering is your girlfriend in her late teens early 20's? Dont get me wrong Im not the aul wan I sound (im 26!!) but up until I was 21 I was such a cringeworthy eejit. My aunt has a theory that woman are stupid jealous when theyre young, men are stupid jealous as they age!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    She is a sad case and if you stay with her she will be telling you what colour jocks to wear in 6 months time. She obviously has SERIOUS confidence issues.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,417 ✭✭✭Miguel_Sanchez


    Minnie Driver? Seriously?

    Maybe that's what she has the problem with. And rightly so.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,098 ✭✭✭✭Kintarō Hattori


    We've been living together for nearly two and a half years, so I know what she's like. She's a great girl in every other respect, well liked, funny, interesting etc, just a tad jealous.
    She's 28 and she does have some self confidence issue's. I've told her that she shouldn't have, as I love her to bits, she is a good looking girl and well liked among her friends. But that's it, she does have some sort of confidence issue's to come to terms with and I'm trying to work towards resolving this. Telling me she's a bunny boiler, or that she'll be telling me what to wear in six months isn't helpful.
    I've been living with her for a number of years, I do love her very much as in every other way she is fantastic, but she does have one problematic area. We need to try and work on this, and see what happens when we actually try to fix this problem. Some help or advice on this aspect would be great. Where to go, who to see etc.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    eo980 wrote:
    just a tad jealous.
    This is simply not true.

    You have not described someone that is "just a tad jealous".

    Someone who is a tad jealous would over-estimate the significance of the time you were spending with Minnie Driver rather than her; they'd know there was nothing between you and Minnie, just be a tad upset that you were out with Minnie instead of with her.

    Someone who is very jealous would wonder if perhaps when you are spending time with Minnie Driver you could perhaps be behaving inappropriately with her.

    Someone who is extremely jealous would convince themselves you were definitely having an affair with Minnie Driver, and that every time you went somewhere with Minnie, that you were actually having sex.

    Someone who is pathologically jealous would convince themselves that you were having an affair with Minnie Driver, even though there was ample evidence that your relationship with Minnie Driver was 100% platonic.

    Fitting anywhere on the scale at all requires you to at least occasionally meet Minnie Driver.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,098 ✭✭✭✭Kintarō Hattori


    I didn't literally mean, 'just a tad jealous'. I was being a little tongue in cheek as I have listed here today and another time in the past crazy small things that have set her off.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    Does she see that there is a problem with this?

    If she does, then it's up to her to deal with it. She is making judgements in a way that is irrational and, more importantly, leading to incorrect conclusions that then lead her to hurt you. If she loves you and is self-aware enough to realise she has a problem, then she needs to get help.

    If she doesn't, then you need to get out.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 219 ✭✭scoey


    eo980 wrote:
    As a result of the following post in After Hours about choosing someone for a date my GF isn't speaking to me:
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=52994614&postcount=35

    She was trawling through the history in Internet Explorer and was asking why there were images of the said ladies.
    I didn't delete the history as I don't think I've done anything wrong, so had nothing to hide.
    I constantly tell her I love her, I look after her very well, I spoil her etc, but she has a major problem with jealousy as I've mentioned here in the past.

    So my question is, would you have a problem if you're partner searched Google Images for pictures of these people to link to in the thread?

    She sounds incredibly immature. Also, I wouldn't like it at all if somebody was snooping around my internet history to find things to hold against me. I say leave her to her sulking and if I were you I'd have a serious think about the relationship. I'm sure that sounds harsh, and you won't anyway, so, try not to let tiptoeing around her insecurities/trying not to upset her in any way get you down too much and try not to give up too much of your dignity in the process..


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 420 ✭✭Clarehobo


    When I read the thread first, I thought she was about 16/17.

    eo980: no offence, but if my bf went through my history & started looking at all my posts I'd be very worried. This is stalkerish behaviour & totally unhealthy.

    Personally, I'd have my bags packed before you can say the words "restraining order".

    But since you love her & are in it for the long haul, you need to face the truth: She needs counselling.

    Maybe couples therapy would help in the long run, but I think she needs to deal with her own esteem issues first. She must have some sort of self-esteem issues, otherwise whe would not be so insecure & jealous when she has a bf that treats her like a queen.

    She most definitely needs counselling.


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