Need to clear things up around here

Tom Dunne

Ok, as we are still in the early stages of this forum, a lot of questions have arisen today, most of which have not been answered. In keeping with the Boards.ie tradition, this forum needs a charter.

Following on from Trout's post in another thread, here's my plan to get the ball rolling on a charter.

There is one fundamental question that needs our immediate attention, brothers, and it is the question of wimmin.

trout wrote:

question: where do we stand on wimmin folks partaking of this forum ? i'm not 100% sure.

My own personal opinion is that we can only allow wimmin post in threads of a domestic nature, such as when is the optimum time to bring beer, why farts are A Good Thing and any discussion around belly fluff.

Following on from that, we have the code. Or, as Trout succinctly put it, the Couch Potato Code (much like the Jedi code, but with more pizzas and beer). Honour, respect and drink thy beer, you get the idea. Feel free to contribute.

And here is the beginning of the charter.

trout wrote:

Welcome to Beer Guts & Receeding Hair.
This forum is the Ying to the Fitness forum Yang, celebrating popular male stereotypes. You will find threads here on a range of issues covering the broad topic of onset of middle age for males ... including, but not limited to, Beer Guts & Receeding hair, breaking of wind, grunting, crotch grabbing and generally what we like to call The Male Condition.

Receding =/= Receeding ... yeah, we know

Who is welcome here ?
Primarily men with either a Beer Gut or Receeding Hair
Also, women who live with or want to live with such men.
Finally, anyone who is impacted by Beer Guts or Receeding hair.

Who is not welcome here ?
Hairy skinny tee-totallers

Thank you brother Trout.

And my own addition:

Who is not welcome here

Those who comb over or wear garments with elasticated waist bands.

I also second the shunning of hairy, skinny tee-totallers.

Please give this topic the respect it deserves.

r3nu4l

Brothers, in addition to combovers and elasticated garments, the words "Where can I buy a toupee?" shall result in much derision and instant bannage by Grand Knight Robbo.

I for one find the wimmins a useful addition to any household and as such this forum. After all brothers, where else are wimmins to learn how to pour a pint of Guinness or how else shall they learn that salads do not constitute a 'dinner' no matter how hot it is outside?

I beseech my brethern to pledge support to the song "Jumbo breakfast rolls" as the anthem of this forum. A note should be made in the charter to this effect.

That is all.

admiralofthefleet

tom dunne wrote:

There is one fundamental question that needs our immediate attention, brothers, and it is the question of wimmin.


My own personal opinion is that we can only allow wimmin post in threads of a domestic nature, such as when is the optimum time to bring beer, why farts are A Good Thing and any discussion around belly fluff.
.

and as long as they have the dinner ready and the washing, ironing, hoovering, ect.. out of the way

Tom Dunne

r3nu4l wrote:

I beseech my brethern to pledge support to the song "Jumbo breakfast rolls" as the anthem of this forum. A note should be made in the charter to this effect.

I second this motion.

Thank you, brother r3nu4l.

And for those of you not familiar with this lyrical masterpiece, and soon to be adopted anthem, here are the words in full.

Well I wake up in the morning and I jump straight out of bed
Grab a hold of that luminous jacket and shake that fuzzy head
I don¹t have time for a fancy breakfast or put muesli in a bowl
I just head to the stat oil garage for the jumbo breakfast Roll


Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
All placed like a tower on top of each other and then wrapped up good and
tight
If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in the bowl
Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll



Well whether you¹re a chippie or a sparkie or a brikie or a team just tarring the road.
Or a shower of lads coming home from the razz with a crowd or on your own
If you¹re working up a ladder or peeling pigs bladder or find yourself digging in a hole
There¹s no sight better than melting butter, from a jumbo breakfast roll



Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
All placed like a tower on top of each other and then wrapped up good and tight
If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in the bowl
Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll




Well just the other day after me roll and tea, in me gut I got an awful ache
I went to me Doctor he said that¹s an artery blocker you have every morning at break
So to change my lifestyle he has me walking five miles and seeing a dietician called Noel
But I can¹t get from my head the sight of two runny eggs on my Jumbo breakfast roll



Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
All placed like a tower on top of each other and then wraped up good and tight
If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in the bowl
Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll



Well the years have passed on and my life has changed and now I am a different man
I have lost three stone, I¹m doing a line with a girl and we are both Vegetarian
My cholesterol is low and my heart is good to go, but in the morning I¹d sell my soul
To sit in any stat oil fore court and devour a Jumbo breakfast roll




Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white
All placed like a tower on top of each other and then wraped up good and tight
If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in the bowl
Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll

Hagar

How did this forum get created so fast... and yet why did it take so long.

No wimmin.

trout

r3nu4l wrote:

Brothers, in addition to combovers and elasticated garments, the words "Where can I buy a toupee?" shall result in much derision and instant bannage by Grand Knight Robbo.

yes ... howls of derisive laughter

r3nu4l wrote:

I for one find the wimmins a useful addition to any household and as such this forum. After all brothers, where else are wimmins to learn how to pour a pint of Guinness or how else shall they learn that salads do not constitute a 'dinner' no matter how hot it is outside?

damn straight

r3nu4l wrote:

I beseech my brethern to pledge support to the song "Jumbo breakfast rolls" as the anthem of this forum. A note should be made in the charter to this effect.

That is all.

wait a minute ... *fart* ... +1 ... no other song comes close

Hagar

I just realised that "Jumbo Breakfast Roll" is by that Richie Kavanagh gobshyte.
If he's in then I'm out. I have my standards, they may be low but they are still standards.

r3nu4l

Hagar wrote:

I just realised that "Jumbo Breakfast Roll" is by that Richie Kavanagh gobshyte.
If he's in then I'm out. I have my standards, they may be low but they are still standards.

Your safe Hagar, Jumbo Breakfast Roll is by Pat Shortt of D'Unbelievables...men who know all about Beerguts and receding hairlines

trout

Hagar wrote:

I just realised that "Jumbo Breakfast Roll" is by that Richie Kavanagh gobshyte.
If he's in then I'm out. I have my standards, they may be low but they are still standards.

i fear you are mistaken Brother Hagar ... was it not Brother Pat Shortt who graced us with this particular ballad ?

linkeh for teh sake of argument http://www.patshortt.com/

Hagar

Thanks bit a Jayses for that.

Small Ad. For Sale:

Half a large bottle of "Head and Shoulders" shampoo, only used the "Shoulders" part.

r3nu4l

Hagar wrote:

Small Ad. For Sale:

Half a large bottle of "Head and Shoulders" shampoo, only used the "Shoulders" part.

Brother Hagars' humour is well respected in these hallowed halls

Tom Dunne

r3nu4l wrote:

Brother Hagars' humour is well respected in these hallowed halls

Indeed it is, brother r3nu4l. He is worthy of the title of Hagar, Grand Master of teh Humour of the Brothers of the Follicley Challenged and the Spherically Endowed.

trout

the combined wisdom of the Brothers has inspired me to generate a second iteration of what may become our charter ... Brothers, your input is required:)

I will work on formalising the Couch Potato Code ... right after this beer ... *chug* *chug* wait a minute *fart*

Welcome to Beer Guts & Receeding Hair.
This forum is the Ying to the Fitness forum Yang, celebrating popular male stereotypes. You will find threads here on a range of issues covering the broad topic of onset of middle age for males ... including, but not limited to, Beer Guts & Receeding hair, breaking of wind, grunting, crotch grabbing and generally what we like to call The Male Condition.

Receding =/= Receeding ... yeah, we know

Who is welcome here ?
Primarily men with either a Beer Gut or Receeding Hair
Also, women who live with or want to live with such men.
Finally, anyone who is impacted by Beer Guts or Receeding hair.

Who is not welcome here ?
Hairy skinny tee-totallers:mad:
Those who comb over or wear garments with elasticated waist bands.
Anyone who utters the words "Where can I buy a toupee?" shall generate howls of derisive laughter and risk instant bannage by Grand Knight Robbo.

Are wimmin welcome here ?
Yes ... so long as said wimmin or sisters post in threads of a domestic nature, such as when is the optimum time to bring beer, why Farts are A Good Thing and any discussion around belly fluff.

We hold that the wimmins are a useful addition to any household and as such this forum. After all Brothers, where else are wimmins to learn how to pour a pint of Guinness or how else shall they learn that salads do not constitute a 'dinner' no matter how hot it is outside?

Wimmins and sisters are welcome here as long as they have the dinner ready and the washing, ironing, hoovering, etc... out of the way

Things that don't even exist on the RH/BG forum
Rod Stewart
Michael Bolton
Veet
Light Beers/Ciders
West Coast Cooler
Diets

Mentioning of the aformentioned subjects results in an instant and permanent ban.

Brothers & Sisters
To show 'nuff respec' to all ... all Brothers and Sisters shall be addressed formally as such.

What Code do we cherish on this forum ?
The Couch Potato Code (much like the Jedi code, but with more pizzas and beer)

Anthem of this Forum
"Jumbo Breakfast Rolls"

Forum Motto
"No gut, no glory"

Hagar

What about a Forum Motto? "No gut, no glory"?

trout

Hagar wrote:

What about a Forum Motto? "No gut, no glory"?

added ... executive decision ... edited into charter post above

admiralofthefleet

maybe add bj after dinner to the 'are wimmins welcome here' ?

_blank_

We need a crest I think.

A picture for our sigs so we can recognise each other away from these hallowed halls.

Tom Dunne

admiralofthefleet wrote:

maybe add bj after dinner to the 'are wimmins welcome here' ?

Or how about "Every day is Steak and BJ day in the RH/BG forum"?

seansouth wrote:

We need a crest I think.

How about this ....

Hagar

It has to be the plastic rings that hold our beloved six packs together.


It's is not only functional and beautiful but has one more ring than those fitness freaks' puny five ring Olympic flag.



How about a uniform ?

Tom Dunne

Brothers, an addition to the charter has just occurred to me:

Things that don't exists on the RH/BG forum
Rod Stewart
Michael Bolton
Veet
Light Beers/Ciders
West Coast Cooler

Mentioning of the aformentioned subjects results in an instant and permanent ban.

Hagar

Brothers raise a glass/can/flagon to toast my favourite wine.

Ruu_Old

And now we pray to Jim. Surely a worthy mascot.

trout

tom dunne wrote:

Brothers, an addition to the charter has just occurred to me:

Things that don't exists on the RH/BG forum
Rod Stewart
Michael Bolton
Veet
Light Beers/Ciders
West Coast Cooler

Mentioning of the aformentioned subjects results in an instant and permanent ban.

Thank you Brother tom dunne ... edited into charter post above.

Love the beer-ring flag ... it feels like home

whisht

All eyes open for IMPOSTERS



and

trout

Ruu wrote:

And now we pray to Jim. Surely a worthy mascot.

I fear Brother Jim may be too intellectual for our purposes ... might i suggest Brother Rab as an alternative ?

Robbo

Prototype charter started and stickied.

Robbo

Can we keep suggestions for the charter here and I'll add them in when I can. I don't want to stick too much in or make it too wordy for fear of making it too cluttered and unfocused.

racso1975

hey fellow beer guts, can i make one small argument re: the elasticated argument surely we are not banning tracksuit bottoms........dear god think of the ease of takin a wizz in these and the fact u can hope into bed and sleep very comfortably in them........they do not restrict the belly ergo more beer and beer related snacks

its extremely easy to drop the hand and scratch plus if you buy big enough and lets face it ebay do a 4 x xxl means the butt crack still shows....OH YEAH

The Hill Billy

racso1975 wrote:

hey fellow beer guts, can i make one small argument re: the elasticated argument surely we are not banning tracksuit bottoms........dear god think of the ease of takin a wizz in these and the fact u can hope into bed and sleep very comfortably in them........they do not restrict the belly ergo more beer and beer related snacks

its extremely easy to drop the hand and scratch plus if you buy big enough and lets face it ebay do a 4 x xxl means the butt crack still shows....OH YEAH

Ahh... The naiveity of youth!

Drink & eat in the nip.
No time-wasting when peeing.
Crumbs easily brushed onto floor.

If a Brother does need to wear clothes - it should not be a track suit.
We do have to have some standards!

peasant

On mascots:

why get fixated on living people, they might betray the brotherhood and go on a diet :eek:

Let's choose a worthy mascot, one that mother nature intended to portray dignity, serenity and absolute power.

I would like to nominate these guys:

trout

brother peasant makes an excellent point on mascots ... in a very real way, aren't we all aspiring to be silverbacks?

i feel a poll coming on (heh heh ... i said poll)

Sofaspud

I I've learned anything from the simpsons, it's that every society (ala Stonecutters) need a membership ring. I propose this: http://www.drinkstuff.com/products/product.asp?ID=399, as mine has given me any amount of convenience. No unnecessary movement required when opening our glassy friends.

Maccattack

Some excellent. Excellent suggestions here brothers. I am particularly fond of the ring ideas suggested by Brother Sofaspud and Brother Hagar.

It is clear that with gut comes wisdom. All kneel before this forum

Kinetic^

Sloths as mascots would be cool.

Also, bestest forum evah!!!!

Tom Dunne

Somebody order sloth pictures?

peasant

tom dunne wrote:

Somebody order sloth pictures?

sorry, way too hairy, cuddly and gutless ...not a worthy contender (even though the attitude as such is great)

Tom Dunne

I agree, brother Peasant.


I think your images convey the image we are trying to portray more.

Zaph

trout wrote:

brother peasant makes an excellent point on mascots ... in a very real way, aren't we all aspiring to be silverbacks?

With all due respect to Brother Trout, I believe that Brother Peasant's first picture is more fitting for a mascot. Orangutans have beer bellies even though they don't drink beer, have an inbuilt receding hairline and move at sluggish speeds that all Brothers should aspire to.

trout

zaph wrote:

With all due respect to Brother Trout, I believe that Brother Peasant's first picture is more fitting for a mascot. Orangutans have beer bellies even though they don't drink beer, have an inbuilt receding hairline and move at sluggish speeds that all Brothers should aspire to.

thank you Brother Zaph ... you raise a good point. I believe that orangutans also have a surly and belligerent nature, and are prone to breaking wind.

Having considered these facts, I would be proud to have an orangutan as our mascot.

Hagar

Sofaspud wrote:

I I've learned anything from the simpsons, it's that every society (ala Stonecutters) need a membership ring. I propose this: http://www.drinkstuff.com/products/product.asp?ID=399, as mine has given me any amount of convenience. No unnecessary movement required when opening our glassy friends.

Brothers in principle I think this ring is a wonderful invention however if the day ever comes when Mrs. Hagar ever gives me an unopened bottle... need I say more?

Tom Dunne

trout wrote:

Having considered these facts, I would be proud to have an orangutan as our mascot.

Motion passed, so brothers, orangutan it is.

Though I fear the picture in question may be suject to copyright restrictions.

What say you of something like this or perhaps this.

copacetic

surely there can be no more fitting mascot than the great george costanza?

Zaph

It should be the second one Brother Tom. Although humerous, in the first picture the orangutan has expended needless energy by moving his hands up to his face.

Tom Dunne

zaph wrote:

Although humerous, in the first picture the orangutan has expended needless energy by moving his hands up to his face.

Valid point, brother zaph.

I propose we collect, on this very thread, 5 different pictures that are proposals for our new mascot. Seeing as this is a democracy, I say we start a poll on the five pictures and let our brethren decide.

What say you?

(Christ, I can't keep this up for much longer. My boss is looking at me wondering WTF I am at )

Hagar

Brothers let us nominate 5 brothers who will each get one picture.
It is too much to ask of any man to get 5 pictures all on his own.

MarkR

The afore mentioned al bundy should be our mascot.


Either that or the ever apt, homer

Maccattack

Brother MarkR. I would wholeheartedly endorse your suggestion of the great Al Bundy. But it appears that it has already been decided that the mascot is to be an orang o twang.

copacetic

Brothers, surely George is the man for us. Any man attempting the trifecta of sex, tv and a sandwich at the one time is a north star to guide us.

daveym wrote:

surely there can be no more fitting mascot than the great george costanza?

MarkR

Does this mean we can fling poop?

Tom Dunne

I sense a disturbance in the force.

All of these are worthy of being our mascot. I will construct a poll fortwith.

Just one question - how the F*** do you embed a picture into a post rather than have it as an attachment?

copacetic

tom dunne wrote:

I sense a disturbance in the force.

All of these are worthy of being our mascot. I will construct a poll fortwith.

Just one question - how the F*** do you embed a picture into a post rather than have it as an attachment?

use the tags around the pic. some nerd told me. honest.