Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Whats the laziest act your guilty of commiting?

Options
2

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    louisecm wrote:
    Am I allowed to post here as I'm a girl?

    Do you have a beer gut and receeding hair?


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,769 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    louisecm wrote:
    Am I allowed to post here as I'm a girl? I am both impressed and repulsed by your laziness. The tv on its side is ingenious. Someone should invent one of those.

    louisecm - Turn your telly on its side then lie down on your bed. Hey presto! The patented "BG&RH Bedroom TV Technique"!!!

    That'll be €50 please.

    And get me a beer while your at it... x ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,484 ✭✭✭Bazzy


    brother hill billy you just put a kiss on a this forum


    Punishment is coming your way


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,769 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Bazzy wrote:
    brother hill billy you just put a kiss on a this forum


    Punishment is coming your way

    Brother - You gotta keep the wimmins sweet.

    Patronising sexism FTW!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,939 ✭✭✭mikedragon32


    meh.*







    *so lazy I can't be arsed with proper reply...


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    Hill Billy wrote:
    Patronising sexism FTW!
    Should have patted her arse then.

    And said 'good girl'.

    They love that don't you know.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,926 ✭✭✭trout


    seansouth wrote:
    Should have patted her arse then.

    And said 'good girl'.

    They love that don't you know.

    it is also permissible to make that "click-click" noise that everyone's uncle knows how to do ... failing that, a Sean Connery impression is always a winner


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,249 ✭✭✭✭Kinetic^


    Finger click is also allowed, as with a whistle.


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,769 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Back on topic...

    I couldn't be bothered getting my hair cut any more - sure isn't it falling out anyway.

    Also, I quite often take a pîss in the back garden when I'm having a smoke to save myself having to walk to the loo on the way back to the telly.


  • Subscribers Posts: 16,578 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    dsc00133dl5.jpg


  • Advertisement
  • Subscribers Posts: 16,578 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    actually i think it does need words, note yesterdays motors section from the times as up to dateness.
    Note the 2 laptops, work one closed of course, note yesterdays dinner plate, note the 4 month old pile of post needing work.
    note the various cables i always trip over and never tidy up.
    this my friends is a mans place.


    best of all, note the current watching of 'downsize me' on living TV for laughs!


  • Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 26,928 Mod ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    Looks like my room actually :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,249 ✭✭✭✭Kinetic^


    Brother Daveym, you an inspiration to us all.


  • Registered Users Posts: 385 ✭✭MonkeyWrench


    Holy Sh!te Daveym, its says you are a project manager on your profile....god love the project you are currently on :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 271 ✭✭homerjk


    Brothers this was a mixture of drunkiness and laziness. I have yet to test it out in pure laziness state.

    I was watching the TV in the early hours after being on the lash. Needed to dropped the kids of at the pool. We'd just moved into this new apartment and my partner had bought a new bin that evening (there wasn't even a bin bag in it yet).
    Rather than go all the way out to the bathroom (it was closer in the old apartment) I went into the kitchen, kicked the swing lid of the new bin, dropped trou and proceeded to do go about my business. I even polished it of with a billy wizz. I left it to fester there all night until I was awoken the next morning by a psychotic wiiman who resembled my partner beating me with a brush.
    In the end she forgave me and complimented me on the fact that I had the good grace to put the lid back on the bin when I was finished.
    Needless to say I will now have to marry this wiiman.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    Hill Billy wrote:
    Also, I quite often take a pîss in the back garden when I'm having a smoke to save myself having to walk to the loo on the way back to the telly.
    I'd often do this too.


  • Subscribers Posts: 16,578 ✭✭✭✭copacetic


    Holy Sh!te Daveym, its says you are a project manager on your profile....god love the project you are currently on :D

    i'm currently on a 5 day weekend of beer and 'home improvement'. Have lost interest though!


  • Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 11,087 Mod ✭✭✭✭MarkR


    homerjk wrote:
    Brothers this was a mixture of drunkiness and laziness. I have yet to test it out in pure laziness state.

    I was watching the TV in the early hours after being on the lash. Needed to dropped the kids of at the pool. We'd just moved into this new apartment and my partner had bought a new bin that evening (there wasn't even a bin bag in it yet).
    Rather than go all the way out to the bathroom (it was closer in the old apartment) I went into the kitchen, kicked the swing lid of the new bin, dropped trou and proceeded to do go about my business. I even polished it of with a billy wizz. I left it to fester there all night until I was awoken the next morning by a psychotic wiiman who resembled my partner beating me with a brush.
    In the end she forgave me and complimented me on the fact that I had the good grace to put the lid back on the bin when I was finished.
    Needless to say I will now have to marry this wiiman.

    You shat in your bin? *wipes tears from eyes*


  • Registered Users Posts: 271 ✭✭homerjk


    MarkR wrote:
    You shat in your bin? *wipes tears from eyes*

    Guilty as charged Brother.:o


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Brother Homerjk while I admire your ingenuity I urge caution in the future. Those wheelie bins are treacherous bastards and could easily roll out from under you in mid-shyte leaving you hurtling to the carpet with an un-detached log as the only thing to break your fall. Not a pretty outcome. Have a care.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 5,112 ✭✭✭Blowfish


    Nunu wrote:
    I once put the tv in my room on its side so I could watch it lying side down! (all the colours started bleeding into each other...nearly fooked the tv up)
    I do that all of the time with my laptop. It makes games quite interesting. I actually spent 2 solid weeks in that position over the summer, helped by having both a fridge and kettle beside the bed. I also at that time made great use of an empty 2 litre bottle I found there.

    I have to say, when it comes down to it, it requires great ingenuity and creativity to become a master at laziness.

    [edit] Oh I also wrote a program to shut down my PC for me, and mapped it to one of the unused multimedia keys on my keyboard, thus cutting down the number of keypresses needed from 3 down to 1.


  • Registered Users Posts: 271 ✭✭homerjk


    Hagar wrote:
    Brother Homerjk while I admire your ingenuity I urge caution in the future. Those wheelie bins are treacherous bastards and could easily roll out from under you in mid-shyte leaving you hurtling to the carpet with an un-detached log as the only thing to break your fall. Not a pretty outcome. Have a care.

    Fear not Brother Hagar, it was a standard issue household swing bin. Which is in fact the perfect height for dropping the kids off.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 837 ✭✭✭Beetlebum


    I am the Queen....uh, I mean King...ahem...of lazziness....

    If I'm comfortable watching something on tv but I have to go to the toilet, I wait until I'm in pain before dragging my sorry ass to the toilet.

    If dishes have been sitting out for days and look like they'd take huge effort to scrub, I just throw them in the bin. The same applies to dirty clothes.

    Had leftover curry in the fridge the other night but was too lazy and impatient to put it in the microwave so I just ate it cold even though it didn't taste nrealy as good.

    I've never ironed a piece of clothing in my life, in fact, I'm not sure if I even own one.

    If my cigarettes are on the table and I want one, I bang the table with my foot so the cigarettes bounce onto my lap, saves me having to lean forward...


  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    I have had bedsores for the last week and a half.
    Its ok though.
    One sort of opened a bit of skin at my elbow, and I have discovered that I can use this now available flap of bone to open bottles of beer with. So dont believe the **** you hear about bedsores being dangerous. Now if my muscles could just stop atrophying I could get some more beer...... Mmmmmm... atrophy.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,385 ✭✭✭pred racer


    I once watched an entire episode of coronenders close coz the remote was on top of the tv:p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,183 ✭✭✭✭Will


    Didnt clean my apartment for 6months - made an exchange with a wiimen - she cleaned my apartment, i opend a few jars for her. Of course she had to bring the jars to my place and clean around me, theres still a patch of dirt where i lay. Considering ringing her but well thatd be effort.

    Before I go out on the beer, I kick a bucket in the general area of my bed. When I come home and if the stomach is a churning all i gotta do is move my head to the left and hope the stuff hits its target.

    I have a remote for my laptop :D doest need explaining
    Ive almost 2months of washing to do, i got my mate to pick me up some socks while he was out. Too lazy to open the packaging.
    Few days ago I had a naked day, didnt bother dressing myself.

    Thats all i can think of now, theres been plenty more just cant remember them


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,545 ✭✭✭Green_Martian


    I have done the oold taking a leak while having asmoke in the back garden, killing 2 birds with 1 stone.............

    Have also rang my mother from my bedroom to ask what was for dinner, and also to have a cup of tea sent up.

    Another bit of laziness i do sometimes is, when im in the gf's house and i have my feet up on the table and the remote is on the table out of arms reach.......i keep looking at her till she looks at me and nod towards the remote, if she does not look for awhile i try the odd cough to get her attention and if that fail a txt will be sent............only if the ph is in my hand


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,539 ✭✭✭Duff


    Brothers, this is my first post!

    Here goes,
    I often urinate out the bed room window after a night on the tear as the toilet is all the way across the landing, sad thing is the our garage is underneath the bedroom window and the roof leaks. Wont have to go into the garage untill the summer so itll be grand. The window also never closes as their is nearly empty glasses of milk on my window-sill that have gone sour and are there about 2 weeks and i need the window constantly open to get rid of the smell..jus yesterday i was sitting watching tv and the light was on, i was sittin right beside it but ofcourse being a man and not a whipped bitch i made the wommin who was the farside of the room get up and turn it off! havent heard from her since though..:confused:

    Anyway thats all i can think off for now.

    EDIT: brother homerjk, u deserve a trophy,medal and an award! A True inspiration to men countrywide!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    This is a true story Brethern..

    A friend of of mine who shall remain nameless went on the jar one Saturday night and as was his wont he over indulged on the Black Stuff. During the night he felt the impending liquid hiccup. With dimmed brain but not dimmed wits he grabbed a nearby plastic bag and gave the auld technicolour yawn into the Dunnes' Stores briefcase. He couldn't put it down so in a moment of inspiration he put it on a hanger and hung it up in the wardrobe. Next morning he woke up with a vague recollection of the Hughie Green's but could find no evidence of the event, so he summized that it was all a bad dream and prepared for Sunday morning FCA training. After getting washed and shaved he went to the aforementioned wardsrobe to get his uniform and found the offending bag on a hanger. He got dressed and was about to carry the bag downstairs to the bin when he heard his ma calling him from the bottom of the stairs. In a panic he swirled the bag around a few times and let it fly out of the landing window. He proceeded down the stairs and just as he got to the bottom there was a knock at the door. Standing there was man with a bicycle in his Sunday best, bicycle clips and all, covered from head to toe in a vile smelling coating of puke...


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 9,926 ✭✭✭trout


    This story I tell thee is true Brethren ...

    An acquaintance was on the lash in Dublin city centre ... and being replete with Beer Gut and Receeding Hairline, he 'pulled' just before closing time. When he tells the story, he says the lady was not bad looking at all, and she lived in a flat above the pub ... handy or what ?

    So ... the two young (ish) people are getting frisky, and nature begins to take it's course, when the lady, very sensibly demands a condom is produced before matters proceeded. As it happened, our hero was not equipped, and was fortright in saying so.

    The young lady, in a mature and sensible fashion, commendable in the heat of the moment, advised our hero that there was a condom machine in the gents loo of the pub, three flights below ... and loose change could be found in the bowl beside the phone ... whatta gal.

    So, our hero ponders for a moment, and then says "nah ... yer allright", rolls over and proceeds to fall asleep.

    This is his world Brothers, we just live in it.


Advertisement