Dates

oceansize

Hello,

i went on a date last night with a lovely girl, hadn't really met her many times before but we had arranged it anyway.

neither of us had done a proper slapup meal thing, so i took her to a lovely restaurant and got wine etc. smashing.
we then went for drinks after and finished up late!

anyway, she's kind of shy and totally not the "slapper" type. really my kind of girl, we spoke all night, no akward moments, laughing etc, and we have similar things in common.

at the end of the night i didn't try to kiss her as it may have been innapropriate, but we got a taxi home and just before i got out i payed for the taxi and i gave her a kiss on the cheek! (was that not enough)

after i sent her a text saying i had a lovely night and she replied saying she did to and thanks for everything and good night.

now i don't know how you tell if they liked you or not, she's quite shy and i'd say she's nice to everyone!

Rabies

Call here. Ask if her straight out if she wants to go out again. The answer you need is there.
You got over the first hurdle of going out for a meal with her. Now all you need to do is ask her out again.

Sleepy

Ask her out again. If she likes you, she'll say yes.

EDIT: Beat me to it Rabies.

Rabies

Sleepy, you snooze,you lose....
He he.. I made a funny

Beruthiel

Rabies wrote:

Now all you need to do is ask her out again.

And if she says yes, then she likes you.

Rabies

Beruthiel wrote:

And if she says yes, then she likes you.

And if she says no, then hang up.

axer

but ring her - don't text her!

Dan133269

and congrats on having such a nice date!

miamee

Dan133269 wrote:

and congrats on having such a nice date!

Ditto! and well done on just giving her a kiss on the cheek, that's so sweet. I remember an ex of mine did that on our first date & I just melted because it was so unexpected & sweet

Nalz

miamee wrote:

Ditto! and well done on just giving her a kiss on the cheek, that's so sweet. I remember an ex of mine did that on our first date & I just melted because it was so unexpected & sweet

takes note

tba

Here is an interesting question, should you ask the question about the second date, (usually harder than the first btw) straight away or wait a while.

Option 1
Straight after the previous date
"Hey we should do this again some time, you free this weekend?"
This has the advantage of asking face to face.

Option b
Wait a day or two and ring them
"I enjoyed the other night and want to up the ante a bit, when are you free?"
This make it look like you know what you are doing.

I'm not sure which is the better method, as I don't do this kind of thing very often.

miamee

tba wrote:

Option b
Wait a day or two and ring them
"I enjoyed the other night and want to up the ante a bit, when are you free?"
This make it look like you know what you are doing.

No this makes it sound like you are waging a campaign of some sort against her!! :eek:
'I enjoyed the other night and would love to do it again, are you free on Friday?' is much better

Trilla I hope you have a big notebook

tba

miamee wrote:

No this makes it sound like you are waging a campaign of some sort against her!! :eek:
'I enjoyed the other night and would love to do it again, are you free on Friday?' is much better

Trilla I hope you have a big notebook

Thats just whats its like, Dating is like a war, each date is like a battle, you are in theory invading anothers personal space.

In the inital stages of the campaign its all about intelligence gathering, finding out information such as current attachment status, phone numbers and the like are all cruical intel for the upcoming engagement.

Misinformation,... in reality "I want to up the Ante" is what I am thinking but I wont say it out loud, also both parties circle the topic for a simple reason, knowledge is power. If you know you like somebody but they aren't sure you are in charge, once you reveal this fact you are a sitting duck floating up a river of **** without a paddle, waiting for their retailitory strike.

I will admit that the wait is usually miniscule, but it is that tiny moment of vunrability that scares the living crap out of people, a moment of sheer panic.

I could write a whole load more metaphors about air bombardments and setting up beachheads but I will let everybody insert their own jokes here.

oceansize

tba wrote:

Thats just whats its like, Dating is like a war, each date is like a battle, you are in theory invading anothers personal space.

In the inital stages of the campaign its all about intelligence gathering, finding out information such as current attachment status, phone numbers and the like are all cruical intel for the upcoming engagement.

Misinformation,... in reality "I want to up the Ante" is what I am thinking but I wont say it out loud, also both parties circle the topic for a simple reason, knowledge is power. If you know you like somebody but they aren't sure you are in charge, once you reveal this fact you are a sitting duck floating up a river of **** without a paddle, waiting for their retailitory strike.

I will admit that the wait is usually miniscule, but it is that tiny moment of vunrability that scares the living crap out of people, a moment of sheer panic.

I could write a whole load more metaphors about air bombardments and setting up beachheads but I will let everybody insert their own jokes here.

You are crazy! But in some way correct.
I'll wait a while, i wont text her this morning coz she's probably still in bed. The fact that she's a little bit shy probably means she wont text me right?

I'll set up my archers on the hill!

What are the signs that i can read?
At dinner she was smiling and talking (i payed for the lot, she was trying to pay half but i said no way!)
when we went to the pub she was sitting next to me on a nice lounger seat, and she was kind of facing towards me, then in the next pub she was playing with her hair alot when i shee was talking to me...

im retarded at this stuff

tba

Woooooo!!!!!!!


Shhheeeeee lliiikkkkkkeeesssss yoooouuuuuuu!!!!

Yeah seriously, the hair thing is a dead give away.

oceansize

The only thing that puts me off a bit was,

We were in the taxi and just as i was getting out i said "thanks so much i had a great night" and kind of moved my head really quickly in to give her a quick kiss and she kind of turned her cheek a little bit as to say kiss me on the cheek. So maybe it was just quick or something i dunno, but she was sitting facing me and playing with her hair, and smiling and laughing and all that nonsense ;-D

D-Generate

I always wonder how we get conceived with this kind of inaction. Just straight up ring her and ask her out again. Fortune favours the brave and all that! No one likes someone who pussy foots about.
Why do nice guys finish last? Because bad guys are the guys with teh confidence and cockyness that girls love. You don't want to be a nice guy and awkward....

Nalz

miamee wrote:

No this makes it sound like you are waging a campaign of some sort against her!! :eek:

ah your just being dramatic there now!

miamee wrote:

Trilla I hope you have a big notebook

oh tis big nuf now be jaysus. fine size I tell ya

oceansize

D-Generate wrote:

I always wonder how we get conceived with this kind of inaction. Just straight up ring her and ask her out again. Fortune favours the brave and all that! No one likes someone who pussy foots about.
Why do nice guys finish last? Because bad guys are the guys with teh confidence and cockyness that girls love. You don't want to be a nice guy and awkward....

Well thats that down the pan then, i was the nicest guy ever last night, i told her i was afraid of flying and that i have all sisters and no bros etc...

oh wel, she was lovely tho!

dooloo

ah just send her a text! ask her out again for saturday night and if she's anyway interested she'll be able to make it. if she makes up a stupid excuse and makes no effort to rearrange then forget it.

Kell

oceansize wrote:

Well thats that down the pan then,

I take it she refused the second date?

Would have been nice to here a success story for once.

K-

tba

OK here is another question regarding how long to wait. You ring (its the sensible thing to do) and it rings out, no busy tone, no chance to leave a voice mail, no clumsy call rejection sound. (this happened to me about an hour ago..

Number 1 how long do you let it ring?
Number 2 when should you try again?
Number 3 How many times should you try ringing before you send one last text and forget about it?

vorbis

the problem wasn't you being nice. Theres nothing wrong with that. What was a problem was your lack of confidence in making a proper move. At some point, you should have kissed her properly as in make out.

Come on man, you spent hours chatting with this girl, that kind of move on your part would be the least that would be expected. She was probably left wondering why you didn't. Also personally, I would have accepted her offer to pay half. Sometimes paying for everything can feel like you're buying her company but thats just me.

oceansize

Kell wrote:

I take it she refused the second date?

Would have been nice to here a success story for once.

K-

No not at all, i havn't spoken to her since she text me back saying she had a lovely night, i just havn't txt her or anything yet!

oceansize

vorbis wrote:

the problem wasn't you being nice. Theres nothing wrong with that. What was a problem was your lack of confidence in making a proper move. At some point, you should have kissed her properly as in make out.

Come on man, you spent hours chatting with this girl, that kind of move on your part would be the least that would be expected. She was probably left wondering why you didn't. Also personally, I would have accepted her offer to pay half. Sometimes paying for everything can feel like you're buying her company but thats just me.

Now i feel confident! NOT. I should have yes but if i went to make a move on her and she rejected it, the night would be over right!

kryan1

oceansize wrote:

Now i feel confident! NOT. I should have yes but if i went to make a move on her and she rejected it, the night would be over right!

Mate just go a do it, ring her and ask her out for the second date. God if u were up for it and she was 2, ice skating is good fun, also it takes away from the norm... go do it as her out again... best of luck

Cianos

Just give her a ring dammit and ask her out again. Do it. Do it.

miamee

oceansize wrote:

Now i feel confident! NOT. I should have yes but if i went to make a move on her and she rejected it, the night would be over right!

Look you kissed her on the cheek so she now knows
a) you don't find her repulsive
b) you might actually like her
c) you are a gentleman & not only after 'one thing'

so you need to ask her out again SOON before the good feeling/adrenaline from last night's date is still fresh in her mind. K? Good luck

oceansize

miamee wrote:

Look you kissed her on the cheek so she now knows
a) you don't find her repulsive
b) you might actually like her
c) you are a gentleman & not only after 'one thing'

so you need to ask her out again SOON before the good feeling/adrenaline from last night's date is still fresh in her mind. K? Good luck

Why doesn't she ring me eh! hehe.

Do i call or text. if i text she knows what im saying, if i ring and theres no answer, when do you ring again? she doesn't wanna see 4 missed calls on her phone!!!

Fast_Mover

oceansize wrote:

she doesn't wanna see 4 missed calls on her phone!!!

Then you don't call her 4times!!:rolleyes:

If it rings out theres nothing you can do about that. She'll get your missed call and it up to her to ring/text you back, as it's only manners to do so anyway!

Now would you ring her god dammit!!:D Good Luck!

miamee

oceansize wrote:

Why doesn't she ring me eh! hehe.

Do i call or text. if i text she knows what im saying, if i ring and theres no answer, when do you ring again? she doesn't wanna see 4 missed calls on her phone!!!

Well ring her this afternoon if you can. If she doesn't answer (she may not be able to in work) then leave it til this evening when you know she'll be off work & at home & try again. If she misses your call it is really up to her to call you back...after 2 missed calls from anyone I'd ring them back!

oceansize

i think i'll just ring her about 7.30 or something!

miamee

Do that! And let us know tomorrow how you got on.

I'll watch out for your next topic 'Where to go on a second date?'

event

oceansize wrote:

You are crazy! But in some way correct.
I'll wait a while, i wont text her this morning coz she's probably still in bed. The fact that she's a little bit shy probably means she wont text me right?

I'll set up my archers on the hill!

What are the signs that i can read?
At dinner she was smiling and talking (i payed for the lot, she was trying to pay half but i said no way!)
when we went to the pub she was sitting next to me on a nice lounger seat, and she was kind of facing towards me, then in the next pub she was playing with her hair alot when i shee was talking to me...

im retarded at this stuff

in the words of mike skinner

I saw this THING on ITV the other week,
Said, that if she played with her hair, she's probably keen
She's playin with her hair, well regularly,
So i reckon i could well be in.

So go for it:D

BeardyGit

Call her, don't text here - No contest. Sounds to me like she enjoyed herself, and you did too. Pay her the respect of actually phoning her.

Also, if you're going to pay for the dinner, make sure she pays for the drinks or whatever - You're close to setting a precedent already so next time someone attempts to pay their share of the meal, let them or tell them it's okay, that they can pay for taxi/drinks/cinema/whatever. Just a pointer.

Good luck lad, she sounds like a lovely lass.

Gil

oceansize

did i leave it to long? should i have rang her already?

oh also, did i mention that i'm friends with her cousin show she hangs around with alot?

vorbis

just ring her!if she doesn't pick up leave a voicemail asking her to call you back. The ball is then in er court. As for making a move and she possibly rejecting it. Firstly, you can usually guage if she's receptive to you kissing her. Secondly, if you try and it fails, its only a big deal if you act like its a big deal. I used to think the same way as you until I saw other people make mistakes and just laugh it off.

i wasn't trying to damage your confidence. It sounds like she's interested so go call her!

oceansize

OK, so why do girls never call you? Well some dont.

I met a girl about 2 weeks ago and gave her my number pissed. She text me the next morning, we met up that night, and bobs your auntie, but the kinda girl i'd see again tho, very nice looking, nice body, but sleeping with you on the 2nd meeting after about a total of an hours conversation!!

vorbis

are you a bit of a moaner oceansize? Are you complaining about the girl in the previous post??

Chucky the tree

vorbis wrote:

the problem wasn't you being nice. Theres nothing wrong with that. What was a problem was your lack of confidence in making a proper move. At some point, you should have kissed her properly as in make out.

Come on man, you spent hours chatting with this girl, that kind of move on your part would be the least that would be expected. She was probably left wondering why you didn't. Also personally, I would have accepted her offer to pay half. Sometimes paying for everything can feel like you're buying her company but thats just me.

I agree that he should of made a move earlier, but the time isnt in the back of a taxi when the driver is waiting to get paid. Even during a taxi journey i wouldnt make a move, specially if the girl is shy.

DublinWriter

miamee wrote:

Ditto! and well done on just giving her a kiss on the cheek, that's so sweet. I remember an ex of mine did that on our first date & I just melted because it was so unexpected & sweet

Yup, never kiss on the first date. Girls know what randy-pan-the-goat-boy types we are, so you have to be intreguing!

Sure, ring her, but do so exactly between 3 and 5 days post the first date. Any more/less would seem too eager or too uncaring respectively.

Rb

Agree with all of the above, don't ring her too soon but don't leave it too late.
If she doesn't ring back (providing she missed your call), well, she could be busy, take into consideration her schedule. Or she could just be a cold hearted ill mannered b*tch (some of them are like that afterall, albeit a minority). You won't find out by not trying anyway.
Good luck with it.

BeardyGit

If you enjoyed a date, make a call the next day and arrange something for a couple of days time. Much better idea - Gives the two of you something to get a bit excited about and avoids the bullsh** games. There's no need to wait 3-5 days.

kryan1

Gil_Dub wrote:

If you enjoyed a date, make a call the next day and arrange something for a couple of days time. Much better idea - Gives the two of you something to get a bit excited about and avoids the bullsh** games. There's no need to wait 3-5 days.

Totally agree here. make the call and don't wait 2 long

cournioni

DublinWriter wrote:

Yup, never kiss on the first date. Girls know what randy-pan-the-goat-boy types we are, so you have to be intreguing!

Sure, ring her, but do so exactly between 3 and 5 days post the first date. Any more/less would seem too eager or too uncaring respectively.

I think you are going a bit over the top there DW. If there is a "moment" where she's flicking her hair right in front of you staring into your eyes when neither of you are talking she is giving you a clear signal for you to make a move. OP's girl may not have been sending out these signals if she is shy. If that was the case, the kiss on the cheek was the right move.

bragan

So, Did you call her??
And as for the kiss on the cheek thing, its very sweet! I would love that......

oceansize

OK... I did it. I spoke to her last night about 9ish,

She was well impressed by me! (as was i with her). She said she had a hangover yesterday but it was totally worth it, she said she loved my company etc.

I spoke to my friend (her cousin), who said she said i was an absolute gentleman and that i was so easy to talk to!

So i asked her if she'd like to meet up again and she said without doubt.
Although she is back home sunday so it's probably gonna be next week.

Result?

tba

10 out of 10

hmmmm

11 out of 10 - bonus point for the "without a doubt" part.

hmmmm

dup post.

miamee

oceansize wrote:

OK... I did it. I spoke to her last night about 9ish,

She was well impressed by me! (as was i with her). She said she had a hangover yesterday but it was totally worth it, she said she loved my company etc.

I spoke to my friend (her cousin), who said she said i was an absolute gentleman and that i was so easy to talk to!

So i asked her if she'd like to meet up again and she said without doubt.
Although she is back home sunday so it's probably gonna be next week.

Result?

Excellent result. She thinks you're great & 'without doubt' wants to see you again. You couldn't have asked for a better result, well done

Now plan something nice for date #2