Things Scientists do that make you crap your pants

the Shades

I simply don't believe in science, saves me endless headaches.

aphex™

the Shades wrote:

I simply don't believe in science, saves me endless headaches.

Okay, what do you believe in then?

Tar.Aldarion

Either humour, or [strike]retardation[/strike] [strike]or Creationism[/strike] or something.

Sound can of course affect you, resonance is a phenomenom that can be caused, doesn't mean the brown noise does what it says on the tin.
Sick with laxtivs.
>_>

the Shades

aphex&#8482 wrote:

Okay, what do you believe in then?

That's an interesting question and I'm sure I'll find an answer to it someday. For now I could only answer 'life.'

Khannie

Deleted User wrote:

Id rather not know to be honest. Theres not much we could do about it if there was one headed our way. Its not like we can pack up and change planets.

I read a bit about this a while ago. There are actually a variety of options open to us. If you spot it far enough away, even a gentle nudge for a long time would send it out of the earths path (for example). Nukes are also an option.

Also....and this wouldn't really be used as an option for avoiding an oul' rock, but it is not beyond the realms of human ability to move the earth to a different orbit. :eek: I read that in regard to an expanding / dieing sun (many many many years from now).

Tar.Aldarion

Who cares if humainity survives, we will all be dead by the time any such measures would be necessary.

Slutmonkey57b

Nukes are not an option. Extinction level asteroids are far bigger than people like to think they are. A nuke would a) not break them up and b) not provide enough energy to divert them.

The Gnome

deswalsh wrote:

Science humour is best served cold and in small doses.

You can kiss my ascus!!!

>_>

<_<

~_~

Capt'n Midnight

the Shades wrote:

I simply don't believe in science, saves me endless headaches.

But you still use the products of it ?

you are henceforth banned from using Asprin or Paracetamol.
see how many endless headaches you have now muuha muuhahaha

faceman

aphex&#8482 wrote:

I watched a documentary on friday and it said it would create its own space and move away from our galaxy so we'd be grand.

ehhhhh now that freaks me out!! Im not a physicist but that sounds like crazy talk! (said by them not by you my friend!) :eek:

Terry

Maybe this universe was created before and it's the one we are living in now and in 15 billion years the same thing will happen again and we'll all be here doing the same thing and stuff.

Oh yeah, there's a boards user named "the scientist" who puts "T. Sc" at the end of all his posts. doesn't really make me crap my pants, but it does piss me off. hey, dude. see the left hand side of the screen? yeah, your user name is there. we can all fucking tell it's you.

patzer117

Back to the Nuke thing this is a post from the somethingawful.com forums, the guy knows what he's talking about when he's grilled on it later in the thread... i haven't seen it on boards.ie so sorry if it's been put up already, but it'd pretty interesting anyway

"More from my old job. Things that no one should know. (I think all this is unclassified)

We considered a loss of 70% of the civilian population, and "terrian loss" percentage of up to 60% a "winning strategy" in my old job.

We were willing to go toe to toe, the Warsaw Pact and the NATO policy makers weren't. We were just sick of the threats and the bull****. I mean, if you want to dance, let's dance.

Western Europe and Britian were written off in nearly all scenarios. Between SRBM's, and "Wave Generator Hits", you guys were more or less ****ed. You'd get off your missiles, and be gone. Buh-bye!

Both sides aimed nuclear weapons at Australia for being mouthy. That's right, we planned on hitting Australia just for that "HA-HA! Nobody has a reason to nuke us, so go ahead, suckers!" comments Australia made. MAD means "Mutually Assured Destruction" and nobody got out alive. Plus, we were all dicks.

If you weren't targeted for a nuclear ICBM or SRBM, you were targeted for chemical. Enjoy painful death, suckass.

Prisons were routinely targeted to deny either side a conscripted military/workforce in the aftermath.

Days after what everyone would think were the final strikes, subs would surface and hidden complexes would go fully online, and we'd nuke the rubble. Just to be dicks.

At one time both sides found "enhanced jacketing" to be a funny thing to do. This would increase the time the area was uninhabitable for up to 1,000 more years.

Biological weapons were to be deployed as a final "**** YOU!" to anyone who survived. The fact that some of them were "food source delivery vectored" was funny. "Wow, this steak and corn sure is tas... AAAARRRGGGHHHH!"

We found it amusing that the American insistance that the Civil Defense programs had their funding cut and were mostly eliminated meant that most of the people would die who might have survived.

After we were done with our big guns, we intended on fighting in a conventional sense, mainly using "pole hopping" troops. This meant that after everything was bombed into bite sized chunks, troops would fight over whose bite sized chunks they were.

When we saw anti-nuclear war activists talking about 100 million megaton "continent busters" we'd always be jealous that we didn't have those. The largest weapon detonated was 54 megatons and was vastly wasteful in the amount of material used. Smaller, overlapping blast patterns caused more damage.

Over a dozen small towns in various states successfully sued the US government to aquire land they thought was unused. When the explosive charges blow those multi-ton steel covers off, some people will be surprised by that cover flying through their living room.

Early Soviet models of ICBM's forgot EMP shielding for the targeting and detonation systems. The mental image of all those missiles falling out of the sky and crashing into people's driveways was always good for a laugh.

The insistence by activists that the very air itself would become radioactive always made us laugh. That's not how radiation works.

According to rumor control after the fact, during the Russian Revolution, the order to fire one of the more remote missile grids went out by a supposed "rogue hard-liner general". For some reason it didn't happen, and rumor control stated it was the slipshod maintenance of the last 5 years of the Communist regime. Apparently the equipment was too old, too slopilly maintained, too cold, too brittle, and failed enmasse. Mostly, though, it was figured that the guy who got the order said: "Oh **** no. I'm not going down in history as the man who blew everyone to ****.", drank some vodka, and went back to his hooker.

Some cities/countries were slated for nuclear hits just to be assholes. Let's face it, there was no real reason to nuke Nigeria, but why should they miss out on all the fun.

If it wasn't nukes, highly persistant chemical agents were planned on being used on terrian in order to poison it for at least 5 years. Why? Because it was funny. "We made it through the nukes, let's hide in the swamp! MY SKIN IS MELTING! WHY, GOD, WHY?"

So called "TV experts" on NBC Warfare had no real clue. This was proven in the days leading up to both Gulf Wars. One CNN expert was tossed out of the military because he was too stupid to correctly compute overpressure blast wave mechanics and effects with the help of a computer.

Despite what the experts the activists trotted out claimed, doubling the amount of fissionable material does not double the radius of effect.

Black people will burst into flame before white people from the thermal pulse. Apparently nuclear weapons are racist.

It would only take 6 airbursts over the US to completely blanket it with a 450W EMP pulse. Theoritically, it would only take one, but why take chances? Eurasia would take only 3 at minimum, but was slated for 14.

The chemical weapons used in the Iran/Iraq War were Russian in manufacture. We got to see film footage of the use.

Three weeks after the blasts in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, plant growth was unbelievable. There was actually grass growing in the craters.

Some people considered nuclear summer to be the real threat, not nuclear winter.

Mt St. Helens detonated with 24 Megatons of force. Think about that for a second.

Most of us were alcoholics within a year and the suicide rate was unbelievable."

faceman

patzer117 wrote:

Back to the Nuke thing this is a post from the somethingawful.com forums, the guy knows what he's talking about when he's grilled on it later in the thread... i haven't seen it on boards.ie so sorry if it's been put up already, but it'd pretty interesting anyway

If its true, humanity sunk to a new low

Catari Jaguar

All their cloning and design your own baby stuff. They'll be able to clone dinosaurs soon. We know what will happen then, we've all seen "Billy and the Cloneasaurus".

Also heard that Spider-Baby is in the pipeline. It's got the body of a spider and the mind of a baby...

sceptre

DaBreno wrote:

Hehe. Scientists work on experiments. Whos atmosphere did he test an atomic bomb on before he could pass it safe for ours?

Scientists work on calculable evidence which they choose to verify with experiments. Earth's atmospheric pressure is too low to be able to support a self-propagating fusion of nitrogen (or specifically a self-propagating exothermic fusion of nitrogen and oxygen to form oxides of nitrogen) which was the initial daydreaming fear. That can be verified using one piece of paper and a sharpened pencil.

Leaving that aside, the question was particularly whether the involved scientists had a "Very Real Fear". They didn't. They didn't have to as they knew how to usefully employ one piece of paper and a sharpened pencil. The original calculations are available and recreatable by anyone who can multiply. Now, rather than get involved in a silly discussion about how one can't really know, you know (because in this case, one certainly can), I'll leave my part of this side discussion there.

Terry

how about the esquilax?

MrJoeSoap

the Shades wrote:

I simply don't believe in science, saves me endless headaches.

Surely you can't be serious!?

Son Goku

faceman wrote:

ehhhhh now that freaks me out!! Im not a physicist but that sounds like crazy talk! (said by them not by you my friend!) :eek:

The LHC will produce roughly one baby (i.e. very small) black hole every second. However that is only possible if Gravity turns quantum at the energies the LHC will probe.

It is very unlikely that Gravity turns quantum at energies that low. Even if it does, the black holes are tiny and will last only a few milliseconds.

And if people are still worried, the Antarctic Ice cap produces far more black holes than any collider ever could. There's a hole in the ozone layer there which allows raw cosmic rays to collide with atmospheric and ground particles at energies 10-100 stronger than any accelerator ever build (or can be built in the near future).

pbsuxok1znja4r

Son Goku's username's namesake FTW

Em...scientists don't do anything that really scares me. Or nothing that I yet know of. Ignorance really is bliss, I guess

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

veXual

Aren't they still trying to recreate the conditions of the big bang somewhere in Europe. Something to do with some 24 mile tunnel thing and colliding two atoms together at some ridiculous speed.

Read bout it a while ago haven't got a link

Pardon my simplified explanation but apparently a lot of European governments donate to it??

Sangre

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CERN

bug

not reading MSDS sheets..

Adam

faceman wrote:

more worryingly...
About 12-18 months ago scientists in the states (sorry i cant find the old links) where working on recreating the conditions that caused the original big bang - in a labratory experiment.

However and thank God, they decided at the last minute (days before they were due to begin) to cancel the project as they didnt know whether the "new universe" they were about to create would continue to expand and engulf our universe! no joke.

Scary.

No amount of bruce willis flying spaceships into a meteor would stop that!! (altho it mite stop those annoying ads!!)

Hate to break it to ya faceman but someone was pulling your leg...

http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/generalscience/physicists_bigbang_000209_wg.html

Donald-Duck

Nevermind,shouldve read all the posts

Civilian_Target

monkeyfudge wrote:

This bad boy is pretty scary.

ITER will run hotter than the sun and it's very close to home.

It's the third most expensive science project after the Manhattan Project and the International Space Station.

Pffft - good job no one told you that the Large Hadron Collider is opening next month!

PET scans are actually pretty scary - they sound nice and safe but PET stands for Positron Emission Topography, meaning they fire anti-matter into your brain, causing lots of small matter-antimatter exposions and use it to measure thickness, energy and fields within your skull!

Gone West

This thread is actually hi-larious.
Mostly a jumped up bunch of gombeens talking through their arses about sci-fi style physics.

Tar.Aldarion

Shh, let it flow.

CyberGhost

julep wrote:

Oh yeah, there's a boards user named "the scientist" who puts "T. Sc" at the end of all his posts. doesn't really make me crap my pants, but it does piss me off. hey, dude. see the left hand side of the screen? yeah, your user name is there. we can all fucking tell it's you.

lol

CyberGhost.

---

Anyways, I don't know about physics and all that crap, and it really doesn't scare me, the scientists that scare are the ones that are deep underground in super secret goverment labs conducting all kinds of experiments on humans, brainwashing, cutting out organs just to examine, now THAT is scary! can you imagine being one of those unlucky human beings?

Jimoslimos

CyberGhost wrote:

the scientists that scare are the ones that are deep underground in super secret goverment labs conducting all kinds of experiments on humans, brainwashing, cutting out organs just to examine, now THAT is scary! can you imagine being one of those unlucky human beings?

Ahhh....we've been rumbled!