Confessions of a failed girl

NextSteps

Clothes: Although I have many nice clothes, none of them match each other. I have not ironed in six months. I still don't understand washing machine instructions. No matter how I try, I always look unkempt. I don't know what kitten heels are, and am unclear about skirt terms too.

Hair: I cannot accomplish anything more than a ponytail. I bought a curling tongs and gave up in frustration after five minutes of waiting for it to heat up. I buy hair cair products but don't know how to use them. I don't own a hairdryer. I go out with my hair wet (but haven't caught my death of cold).

Makeup: When I try to look pretty, I end up like an extra from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I try to put on mascara and it ends up on my cheek. I buy makeup but don't know how to use it. Even for big nights out, I leave getting ready so late that I end up just applying mascara to my cheek instead of using my array of make up products.

Shopping: Dundrum shopping centre brings me out in a cold sweat. Clothes shopping with friends makes me revert to my five-year-old self: I want to go home, and I want to go home NOW. I'm physically afraid of smiling assistants.

Conversation: I am not competent to discuss soap operas, hair, beauty routines, clothes or most of the other tea-break subjects.

Beauty routines: I have never been on a sunbed, had a massage or gone for a facial. When I shave my legs, I use shampoo. I do not exfoliate regularly. Waxing worries me, and my ineptness at small talk (coupled with the hot wax) makes the whole affair uncomfortable.

What am I to do? Is there perhaps a support group for the likes of me? Can you advise me?

Lust4Life

Were you raised by two dads?

Nah, seriously, this thread may belong in PI. But I think you're being a bit too harsh with yourself. You obviously have your own style. And there are a lot of men who would be happy knowing you are not high maintenence!

Study some fashion magazines if it really bothers you, and try to copy things you like in them.

jimmycrackcorm

Do you have breasts? If so then don't worry.

Robbo

UB wrote:

What am I to do? Is there perhaps a support group for the likes of me? Can you advise me?

I'd imagine that a lucrative career as a columnist for some weekend magazine is in the pipeline.

cjt156

If you can tolerate beer and sports I know of about 3.2 Billion men for whom you just might be the perfect woman!

chamlis

As long as you don't look "dirty", I think you'll be ok!

Lexus1976

As long as you don't look "dirty", I think you'll be ok!

I'm not so sure about that....i know a lot of blokes who like dirrrrrty girls

No but seriously. There are a lot of evening course that specialise in make up and hair.

chamlis

Filthy of mind and filthy of body are two VERY different things

NextSteps

Lexus1976 wrote:

No but seriously. There are a lot of evening course that specialise in make up and hair.

Sounds like my definition of hell. Ugh.

Lexus1976

I suppose you could always buy a book....there are hundreds of them out there

RobertFoster

http://www.nataliedee.com/040606/blog-about-it.jpg

Scraggs

Seriously UB don't worry about it. Not everybody has to be a 'girly' girl. Only worry about it/change if you're not happy with yourself. Down with conformity etc. etc.


/edit The ironing is delicious ...my laptop has pink diamonds all over it

cjt156

Wash your face and hair, smile, shoulders back.
Clean, fresh-faced, good posture and a twinkle in the eye; male or female that's always a good look, the rest is just parsley spinkled over a good meal.

Binomate

Get some girlie friends to help you out with it all. It seems from my experiences that girls love doing alll that crap to each other. Maybe you might get in to it.

NextSteps

cjt156 wrote:

Wash your face and hair, smile, shoulders back.
Clean, fresh-faced, good posture and a twinkle in the eye; male or female that's always a good look, the rest is just parsley spinkled over a good meal.

Hear hear!! Well I get the basics right!

But how come three days after a night out, I still can't get the mascara off?!

petes

UB wrote:

Hear hear!! Well I get the basics right!

But how come three days after a night out, I still can't get the mascara off?!

Are you sure its not permanent marker you are using?

miles teg

UB wrote:

...
But how come three days after a night out, I still can't get the mascara off?!

I prefer my girlfriend without make up so don't feel bad. Being "girly" isn't your bag... nothing wrong with that.

You need a style and make-up guide to help with clothes and make-up!
I hate ironing too, go to a launderette or pay a sibling/friend
read the manual to the machine!

Hair - Buy a GHD and a couple of their styling product's you can't go wrong take's 5 min's and perfect for even the laziest girl
- oh and invest in a good hair style

As for shopping in Dundrum SC I hate it too it's the only place I hate shopping though
Go somewhere else or enlist a mate who's style you admire to help you out while shopping online!

As for girly conversation - my mate's are bitches for this
I don't care who won the latest reality crap or what's happening in eastender's that week for that matter but however I do like talking about men and other topic's such as social escapades that went on at the weekend etc,
so find out what you like to talk about and are interested in and discuss with your mate's failing that get mate's with the same interest's

as for beauty routine, once your eyebrow's are done and you clense, tone and moisturise and de-hair, your grand anything else such as nail's you can learn easily!

In the end of the day besides knowing the basic's
confidence is the most important thing you can have

ferdi

dont bother withe all that ****e, just be clean and take that ponytale out

Setun

UB wrote:

Clothes: Although I have many nice clothes, none of them match each other. I have not ironed in six months. I still don't understand washing machine instructions. No matter how I try, I always look unkempt. I don't know what kitten heels are, and am unclear about skirt terms too.

Hair: I cannot accomplish anything more than a ponytail. I bought a curling tongs and gave up in frustration after five minutes of waiting for it to heat up. I buy hair cair products but don't know how to use them. I don't own a hairdryer. I go out with my hair wet (but haven't caught my death of cold).

Makeup: When I try to look pretty, I end up like an extra from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I try to put on mascara and it ends up on my cheek. I buy makeup but don't know how to use it. Even for big nights out, I leave getting ready so late that I end up just applying mascara to my cheek instead of using my array of make up products.

Shopping: Dundrum shopping centre brings me out in a cold sweat. Clothes shopping with friends makes me revert to my five-year-old self: I want to go home, and I want to go home NOW. I'm physically afraid of smiling assistants.

Conversation: I am not competent to discuss soap operas, hair, beauty routines, clothes or most of the other tea-break subjects.

Beauty routines: I have never been on a sunbed, had a massage or gone for a facial. When I shave my legs, I use shampoo. I do not exfoliate regularly. Waxing worries me, and my ineptness at small talk (coupled with the hot wax) makes the whole affair uncomfortable.

What am I to do? Is there perhaps a support group for the likes of me? Can you advise me?

This seems like a satirical post tbh?
Either that or your views of womanhood are very plain and anachronistic.

NextSteps

petes wrote:

Are you sure its not permanent marker you are using?

Oops.

Gran Hermano

Become a nun

Not like you're going to be getting much action anyway

Steoob

sounds like you need cher from clueless to recruit you

Rb

OP: If you're not happy with how you look, go to a beauticians and ask for advice on make up, application of said make up etc. Its the only way really, or have a friend help you out.

For shopping try the internet.

If you're happy with everything and just having a rant, well, continue I suppose...

simu

Wow, OP, you're really reprazentin the voice of downtrodden Girl there. :rolleyes:

ScumLord

You need to go back to childhood basics, get one of them freaky barbie doll heads and practice makeup on that then when you get it right you can just rub your face over the head to transfer the makeup.

I try to put on mascara and it ends up on my cheek.

Maybe you should just give up the booze for a while??

Tar.Aldarion

Simu, is UB your other account? :eek: :eek: :eek:

andrew163

Assuming this isnt a satirical post and/or something that you got in your inbox..

UB wrote:

Clothes: Although I have many nice clothes, none of them match each other. I have not ironed in six months. I still don't understand washing machine instructions. No matter how I try, I always look unkempt. I don't know what kitten heels are, and am unclear about skirt terms too.

Meh

Hair: I cannot accomplish anything more than a ponytail. I bought a curling tongs and gave up in frustration after five minutes of waiting for it to heat up. I buy hair cair products but don't know how to use them. I don't own a hairdryer. I go out with my hair wet (but haven't caught my death of cold).

Meh

Makeup: When I try to look pretty, I end up like an extra from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I try to put on mascara and it ends up on my cheek. I buy makeup but don't know how to use it. Even for big nights out, I leave getting ready so late that I end up just applying mascara to my cheek instead of using my array of make up products.

Makeup is not equal to prettyness. Don't worry about this one so much.

Shopping: Dundrum shopping centre brings me out in a cold sweat. Clothes shopping with friends makes me revert to my five-year-old self: I want to go home, and I want to go home NOW. I'm physically afraid of smiling assistants.

This is a good thing.

Beauty routines: I have never been on a sunbed, had a massage or gone for a facial. When I shave my legs, I use shampoo. I do not exfoliate regularly. Waxing worries me, and my ineptness at small talk (coupled with the hot wax) makes the whole affair uncomfortable.

As is this...

Conversation: I am not competent to discuss soap operas, hair, beauty routines, clothes or most of the other tea-break subjects.

And **especially** this

bonkey

I'm physically afraid of smiling assistants

Wear a set of headphones.

You don't even have to listen to anything...just wear the headphones and don't make eyecontact.

They leave you alone because the last think a shopassistant will ever do is make physical contact to get your attention.

JC 2K3

You sound amazing....

dellas1979

I posted some thing similar in the fashion/appearance forum there lately.

Once I have washed hair and clean skin, I think I am groomed! Am fairly low maintenance however, there are certain things that a lady should do, I think,

1. Eyebrows. This can make a big difference to your face. Make sure you get a good plucker and give them a good plucking regularly (sorry-ahahaha Im laughing as I write that ahahaha)

2. Anyways, exfoliating your skin is a good thing. Takes off all the old skin and give you a nice healthy look. St. Ives do good ones. Available in all super markets. Make sure you moisturise after.

3. I never do anything with my hair. Wash and dry. Cant offer any advice on that. I make sure its clean and split end free.

4. Nails. I have been biting my nails for the last year. Used to have nice long ones till they all broke. Have been growing them for the last 2 weeks in an effort to smarten up a bit.

5. Clothes. I am as bad as what you describe yourself. I have no interest in fashion at all. Once it’s clean, I think that that’s the most important thing. Couldn’t put an outfit together to save myself.

6. Shopping. Hate shopping also. Shopping is something I dread. I don’t enjoy it. The only way I shop is if, for example, the sole of my shoe fell off and I NEED a new pair. Otherwise no way. I don’t see it as a leisurely activity as most ladies do. I see it as something I HAVE to do. Lucky the man who gets me, he’ll never have a maxed out credit card.

7. Make-up. I hate make up also. The most I put on is mascara and maybe a bit of pink on my cheeks. I couldn’t tell you how to put on foundation. Wouldn’t know where to start. I don’t think its cluelessness, just a lack of interest. Think Im fine the way I am/have other things to do besides slapping on some slap.

8. Perfume. I hate perfume also. Might get a bottle of it once and them "meh" I wont wear it anymore

9. The moral of the story is you don’t have to sucum/do all these things to be girly or feel feminine. We all express it in a different way. You don’t have to wear make-up to make you feel happy. By the way – you are probably wearing a water-proof mascara. These days they are very hard to remove. Normal cleanser/soap water wont remove it (as I have found out). You need to get an eye make-up remover so that it can cut into/dissolve the mascara. They are sold everywhere, including supermarkets.

Moonbeam

your not a girlie girl who cares?

Once your clean and tidy,and comfortable in yourself ,does it matter?

I don't iron either ,it is perfeclty normal.

Though you do sound slightly depressed aobut it all,would that be true?

Tar.Aldarion

Op, you need no cure.

Ruu_Old

Spot on, Tar. OP, if your happy thats all that matters.
Not being on a sunbed is good thing, do you want to end up like an oompa loompa and all these faked tanned Irish wimmens? I hope not. @ oompa loompa wimmen, you are from fucking Ireland, don't try and pretend you live somewhere else, wassocks. Ah that felt good.:)

Rb

Ruu wrote:

Spot on, Tar. OP, if your happy thats all that matters.
Not being on a sunbed is good thing, do you want to end up like an oompa loompa and all these faked tanned Irish wimmens? I hope not. @ oompa loompa wimmen, you are from fucking Ireland, don't try and pretend you live somewhere else, wassocks. Ah that felt good.:)

Ruu?Cursing?!Whaaaaatt?!!

r3nu4l

I think most men would be more than happy with a woman who doesn't take 4 hours to get ready for a night out

My own opinion...I don't like the whole plastered in make up, fake tan and false nails thing at all...very...Jordan *puke*. Some guys love it and that's cool, just not for me

Ruu_Old

rb_ie wrote:

Ruu?Cursing?!Whaaaaatt?!!

Ah sure why not, its nearly Christmas 'n all. I'm all done now. Natural wimmens ftw. .o/

Tar.Aldarion

Is Christmas an angry time for you Ruu? You can let it all out.

Nightwish

Hey I can empathise with the OP. I've never been to a beauticians, nor been on a sunbed, nor do I know how to apply make-up. In fact I've never worn make up other than eye make up. 95% of the clothes I own are black. I hate soap opera's, fashion trends and also I always go out with my hair wet (however I own 2 hair dryers but havent a clue how to use them).

brianthebard

TINWOP!

seriously though, OP is what you are saying a problem, I mean has it stopped you achieving goals in life or is it merely something that you could do better on. if you look around the street in town you'll see a lot people who can't apply makeup right or match their clothes...

Tar.Aldarion

brianthebard wrote:

TINWOP!

Heh.

And how can somebody not know how to use a hair dryer!

Oral Slang

Clothes:Although I have many nice clothes, none of them match each other. I have not ironed in six months. I still don't understand washing machine instructions. No matter how I try, I always look unkempt. I don't know what kitten heels are, and am unclear about skirt terms too.

While my clothes match, I don't shop very often as I hate it so much.. Bought a few dresses & pairs of shoes on E-bay though (new mind you) - much easier!

Hair: I cannot accomplish anything more than a ponytail. I bought a curling tongs and gave up in frustration after five minutes of waiting for it to heat up. I buy hair cair products but don't know how to use them. I don't own a hairdryer. I go out with my hair wet (but haven't caught my death of cold).

Never straighten or curl my hair.. If I haven't washed it that day, I tie it up & thats about it.. If I can be arsed I blow dry it, other wise I leave it dry naturally..

Makeup: When I try to look pretty, I end up like an extra from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I try to put on mascara and it ends up on my cheek. I buy makeup but don't know how to use it. Even for big nights out, I leave getting ready so late that I end up just applying mascara to my cheek instead of using my array of make up products.

Only wear make up if I'm going to the pub, which would be about once every 2 weeks, but only started at about 21/22, so depending on your age, don't worry about it. A lot of guys prefer girls natural!

Shopping: Dundrum shopping centre brings me out in a cold sweat. Clothes shopping with friends makes me revert to my five-year-old self: I want to go home, and I want to go home NOW. I'm physically afraid of smiling assistants.

As above, wherever possible I buy online! Everyone I know are getting dvds/cds/games for christmas - hurray for play & blah!

Conversation:I am not competent to discuss soap operas, hair, beauty routines, clothes or most of the other tea-break subjects.

I'm the same in work. I watch corrie, but usually fall asleep. The girls in my office drive me nuts talking for hours about what they're wearing to nights out - a solid month before our Xmas party they had decided exactly what shoes, bag, necklace they were wearing - I think that's just plain sad!

Beauty routines: I have never been on a sunbed, had a massage or gone for a facial. When I shave my legs, I use shampoo. I do not exfoliate regularly. Waxing worries me, and my ineptness at small talk (coupled with the hot wax) makes the whole affair uncomfortable.

Don't have any beauty routines - I shower & use moisturiser & deodorant & thats it.. Although, you're missing out so much by never having had a massage. They're brilliant (although I just finished a massage course, so maybe I'm biased). Not at all girlie in my opinion. Loads of men as well as women go for them!

What am I to do? Is there perhaps a support group for the likes of me? Can you advise me?

Just carry on being yourself, much better than being a sheep like a lot of women I know!!!!

rediguana

I was never much good at small talk either. Since I started drinking during the day, though, it's easier. It really helps at work too, no more awkward silences at the water dispenser.

ferdi

r3nu4l wrote:

My own opinion...I don't like the whole plastered in make up, fake tan and false nails thing at all...very...Jordan *puke*. Some guys love it and that's cool, just not for me

spot on, all these dolled up types make me gag

Nightwish wrote:

(however I own 2 hair dryers but havent a clue how to use them).

sorry buts thats just stupid - the hot air is blown out of one end, you point it at your head and it drys your hair.

Nightwish

ferdi wrote:

sorry buts thats just stupid - the hot air is blown out of one end, you point it at your head and it drys your hair.

Its a hair straightening one with a big contraption at one end which is meant to smooth out your hair as you dry it, but it didnt do that. All I got was a fuzzy looking head.

brianthebard

rediguana wrote:

I was never much good at small talk either. Since I started drinking during the day, though, it's easier. It really helps at work too, no more awkward silences at the water dispenser.

What a great suggestion:rolleyes:

I've watched many a girl straighten their hair with an iron. Does this mean you that you can iron clothes with a hair straightener?

metaoblivia

Clothes: Although I have many nice clothes, none of them match each other. I have not ironed in six months. I still don't understand washing machine instructions. No matter how I try, I always look unkempt. I don't know what kitten heels are, and am unclear about skirt terms too.

I've never learned how to iron. I can, however, run a washing machine, which is the more important skill to have. You don't want to be the smelly kid.
As for kitten heels, no clue. I tend to avoid heels at all costs.

Hair: I cannot accomplish anything more than a ponytail. I bought a curling tongs and gave up in frustration after five minutes of waiting for it to heat up. I buy hair cair products but don't know how to use them. I don't own a hairdryer. I go out with my hair wet (but haven't caught my death of cold).

Wash, dry, pull it up in a pony tail or messy bun thing, or just wear it down. No need to get fancy. A hair dryer can do wonders though...

Makeup: When I try to look pretty, I end up like an extra from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I try to put on mascara and it ends up on my cheek. I buy makeup but don't know how to use it. Even for big nights out, I leave getting ready so late that I end up just applying mascara to my cheek instead of using my array of make up products.

This is where my girly comes out! I love makeup. I have all sorts of wild colors in everything from eyeliners to shadows, rouge, lipsticks. I'm excellent with liquid liners and contouring. That all said, I only wear make up on weekends - no need to get fancy at work. Make up is as versatile as you are. If you want to look natural with it, you can. If you want to go glamourous, you can.
In the event that you have to go somewhere and wearing make up would be ideal, I'd brush up on your knowledge just a little. You probably will never be as interested in it as some other girls, but it helps to know a few basics... like how to apply masacara safely.

Shopping: Dundrum shopping centre brings me out in a cold sweat. Clothes shopping with friends makes me revert to my five-year-old self: I want to go home, and I want to go home NOW. I'm physically afraid of smiling assistants.

I can spend about two hours shopping, tops. After that, my legs get sore, and I get frustrated. I can't walk around aimlessly looking at clothes.
Don't be afraid of smiling assistants, just tell them you're 'just looking' or that you don't need any assistance right at the moment.

Conversation: I am not competent to discuss soap operas, hair, beauty routines, clothes or most of the other tea-break subjects.

I know nothing about soaps.
I will talk about clothes and makeup with other girls.

Beauty routines: I have never been on a sunbed, had a massage or gone for a facial. When I shave my legs, I use shampoo. I do not exfoliate regularly. Waxing worries me, and my ineptness at small talk (coupled with the hot wax) makes the whole affair uncomfortable.

I've never done a sunbed, or waxing, or a massage. I got a facial once last Christmas. It was nice, but not nice enough for me to fork out all that money. And manicures and pedicures - :rolleyes:
I do make sure to take good care of my skin though. I think it's really important since you'll be living in it for who knows how many years.

What am I to do? Is there perhaps a support group for the likes of me? Can you advise me?

Just do what you're comfortable with. A lot of girls don't do all of that 'girly' stuff. Some of us do a few here, a few there. I think many men can appreciate a low maintenance woman.
Sometimes I wish I was a little more low maintenance myself!

brianthebard

Hey, I'm a guy who can iron, which apparently a lot of girls can't do....Does this make me a girl??

brianthebard

brianthebard wrote:

Hey, I'm a guy who can iron, which apparently a lot of girls can't do....Does this make me a girl??

Why yes, yes it does.

emeraldstar

cjt156 wrote:

the rest is just parsley spinkled over a good meal.

ha ha i like that!!