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BF Going over the Top

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    #32
    Talliesin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    sweet-rasmus wrote:
    i has to drive it into him that they are all forms of flirtation!!! he just didnt seem to get it.
    If you had to tell him that it was flirtation, then it wasn't.

    Not to say I would go out with someone that objected to me flirting either (or in the case of someone like sweet-rasmus that categorises hugs as flirting, spend any time with at all), but the two are different.

    Complain about someone flirting and the two of you can decide whether your differing standards of flirting have a middle ground where a compromise can be reached.

    Complain about particular expressions of affection and the two of you can decide if your differing standards of expressions of affection have a middle ground where a compromise can be reached.

    Insist that someone was flirting when they feel that they were expressing platonic love and you're just going to be talking at cross purposes and get nowhere.


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    #33
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    'Hi guys, OP here.

    Well, I talked to him about it last night. I told him that it made me uncomfortable and that I wouldnt stand for it. We didnt fight - just told him plain as day.

    There needs to be a line drawn. He said he saw it as something harmless. I told him that I did not. He said he wouldnt do it again.

    I said that if he did do it again that next time I would not be so accomodating. He knows where I stand now on this subject.

    Its his choice now. But am clear in my head that that is not the behaviour I expect from a BF.'


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    #34
    OLDYELLAR
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,230 ✭✭✭OLDYELLAR


    Fair play , Im glad ya said it to him straight thats always the best way , beating around the bush pussy footing nonsense usually doesnt work. I would definately not xount what he did as normal bf behaviour , I actually admire how calm you remained , Im a bit of a hot head myself and tbh when I go out with someone I take it that their lips are off limits to anybody but me so saying I would a flipped in that situation would be somewhat of an understatement.

    Also its good he knows now that theres a line and if he does continue with what he may see as innocent playfullness after you`ve told him its not something your happy with , I think ya know what the next option is.

    Hopefully anyway he`ll take what you said to heart and it`ll all bo good in the future :) Good luck.


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    #35
    keynesian
    Registered Users Posts: 192 ✭✭keynesian


    876129 wrote:
    When we were leaving the pub last night, he kissed her on the lips! .

    Is your bf gay, there the only guys I know that kiss "friends " on the lips. Is he a bit camp?

    Personal I'm not big on monogamy.


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