Worst Horror Film You've Ever Watched

c - 13

As we all know that while there are some truely fantastic horror films out there there are some real stinkers too (as with all genres).

Some bad horrors are laughable, but sometimes you get a horror thats so bad you just end up sitting there staring at the screen going "WTF ! How did this ever see the light of day ?".

I had one such experience on Friday night after coming across a copy of this gem here. I thought it would be something along the lines of leprechaun, how wrong was I ?

Spoilered out of principle

Clowns making tracking hounds out of balloon dogs

Capturing people and holding them in candyfloss coccoons

Clowns can only be destroyed by blowing their red noses off

Its enough to make a grown man cry. Anyone have any other titles they want to get off their chest ?

Aside - This weekend its going to be the lesser known "Weasels Rip My Flesh" I mean with a name like that it cant be bad ...... can it ?

djkeogh

Nice films, I likes the look of "Weasels Rip my Flesh". One of my personal favourites is "Head of the Family"(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116503/). If you haven't seen it I recommend it for a look. Pure tripe but I love it. Horrible acting throughout but Jacqueline Lovell is too easy to look at and the dodgy effects are hilarious. Great one for the lads with a few drinks on board.

TerrorFirmer

Probably some of the older Troma movies, so unbearably bad, like The Curse of the Screaming Dead or Space Zombie Bingo

Pretty much 90% of movies released by UFO films also, they have a 10% margin of surprisingly excellent, if cheap, features and the rest are appalling.

It would be unfair to list just these movies, I've seen quite literally about 80-90 films that each stage of viewing I had to deliberate....worst horror film ever?

edit: The Weasels Rip my Flesh movie I think, looks great fun

and lol@the comments for 'Head of the Family':

I watched this film on the advice of a friend who assured me it was one of the funniest things he'd ever seen. Sadly this person is completely lacking a sense of humour and I was forced to endure two hours of the worst film making I have ever seen. Please do not watch this film. 1/10

daithimac

when a stranger calls(2006)
everyone associated with that peice of crap should be shot in the back of the head. contender for worst movie ever

super_furry

I can usually find at least some unintentional humour in those cheap gory budget-free slashers, but it's the big budget turkeys that wind me up, and so I'd say 13 Ghosts is the worst horror I've ever seen. It's like it was written by a braindead chimp.

Loco

my bad

TerrorFirmer

Loco wrote:

that new world film with colin farrell. what a load of rubbish

Worst Horror Film You've Ever Watched

super_furry

Oh and slagging off Lepreachaun? That's a paddling. It's a cracking film, made all the better by Jennifer Anniston's massive nose.

c - 13

I wasnt slagging it - I love the Lep films ! I said that if Klowns had been anything like it it might have been salvagable.

Den_M

Bogeyman was compete rubbish. Not what you expect from Sam Raimi. Troll has to be up there though.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092115/

monkeyfudge

Ah Troll was great fun. It's sequel is amazingly bad though.

I hadn't heard of Weasels Rip My Flesh. Is the title a reference to the Frank Zappa album from 1970?

I think I'll have to go with The Torturer on this one though. I saw it at the horrorthon recently and it was truly terrible... not even funny bad.

caff

..isolation...

such a dissapointment.. I mean killers cows.. if it wasn't going to be any good at least I thought I would get a laugh out of it.. but no.. just terrible

TerrorFirmer

Den_M wrote:

Troll has to be up there though.

Imdb wrote:

Directed by
John Carl Buechler

I saw this and suddenly, the memories came flooding back...

Definately one of the stupidest, poorly made, schlocky movies ever.

And the cover for 'Troll' also reminded me of this, another abomination of a movie, strangly revered in some circles but I cannot see why. Same guy wrote it as Leprechaun, actually.

fade2black

I bought some Japanese 3D movie from CDwow a while back called "The Park", that was predictably awful.

Archeron

super_furry wrote:

I can usually find at least some unintentional humour in those cheap gory budget-free slashers, but it's the big budget turkeys that wind me up, and so I'd say 13 Ghosts is the worst horror I've ever seen. It's like it was written by a braindead chimp.

I really loved that film, and thought it put a good twist on ghost stories. Some of the acting was bad, and the ending was

f*cking awful

but the ghosts themselves were really well done.
The DVD has a a little thing in the special features called "the making of 13 ghosts" I watched it, and its just a succession of little stories; about 45 secs each, each about the ghosts from the film; the people they were and what made them what the are now. It put a lot more charachter into the whole film.

Gandhi

Evil Bong. My brother-in-law was a producer (or something) so I had to watch it. Brutal. Had some boobies, though not enough to save it.

jac83

daithimac wrote:

when a stranger calls(2006)
everyone associated with that peice of crap should be shot in the back of the head. contender for worst movie ever

i totally agree i will never get back the time or money i wasted on this!!!

DerekP11

Killer Clowns from outer space?

You didn't like it? Worst horror film you've ever seen?

Ok so, you may not have liked it, but its hardly on the worst list. Its cheap, genre exploitive, and run of the mill, shoot by numbers film-making. But I think it achieved what it set out to achieve.

Ive only one question for you. Where the hell did you find it on dvd? I want it!

c - 13

DerekP11 wrote:

Killer Clowns from outer space?

You didn't like it? Worst horror film you've ever seen?

Ok so, you may not have liked it, but its hardly on the worst list. Its cheap, genre exploitive, and run of the mill, shoot by numbers film-making. But I think it achieved what it set out to achieve.

Ive only one question for you. Where the hell did you find it on dvd? I want it!

I agree with what your saying here, and dont get me wrong, I love b-movie style horror and usually the worse they are the more I love them, this one just didnt do it for me at all, fair enough there were some parts that I laughed at but overall it left me cold, could have had something to do with the clowns stupid squeaky like voices.

It was a downloaded copy, quality of picture wasnt great and there was a bit of audio lag too. Have never seen it on DVD myself.

c - 13

c - 13 wrote:

I agree with what your saying here, and dont get me wrong, I love b-movie style horror and usually the worse they are the more I love them, this one just didnt do it for me at all, fair enough there were some parts that I laughed at but overall it left me cold, could have had something to do with the clowns stupid squeaky like voices.

It was a downloaded copy, quality of picture wasnt great and there was a bit of audio lag too. Have never seen it on DVD myself.

It was on Sci Fi last week. Not a bad film, come nice ideas.

DerekP11

c - 13 wrote:

I agree with what your saying here, and dont get me wrong, I love b-movie style horror and usually the worse they are the more I love them, this one just didnt do it for me at all, fair enough there were some parts that I laughed at but overall it left me cold, could have had something to do with the clowns stupid squeaky like voices.

It was a downloaded copy, quality of picture wasnt great and there was a bit of audio lag too. Have never seen it on DVD myself.

Well hats off to you for downloading it. Don't know what age you are, but your dedication is reflected in actually watching it. Hard to imagine that Xtravision stocked it on VHS as a new release all those years ago.:eek:

Lemming

Saw III

I don't think I need to elaborate.

mickrourke

Well how about any film ever shown on Zone Horror?
Jesus that channel beats all for the biggest load of b*****ks to grace the small screen.

Hard Larry

Return to Salems Lot

Still never figured out who the blue guy in the bush is.

Jack Sheehan

This honour would have to go to 'Children Of the Living Dead'
There were,perhaps,5 lines of dialouge in this film.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0276011/
What made it worse was we rented it with 'Equalibrium' , another of the worst films ever made.

CraggyIslander

errrmmm lets not forget the oirish ones....... hows 'dead meat' for a contender? killer cows on the loose and dialogue that has no bearing on the goings on at all

c - 13

mickrourke wrote:

Well how about any film ever shown on Zone Horror?
Jesus that channel beats all for the biggest load of b*****ks to grace the small screen.

Some bad films shown on that channel - Worst one I think I saw was "The Creature and the sorority Girls", I expected softcore porn, I was dissapointed

Jack Sheehan wrote:

This honour would have to go to 'Children Of the Living Dead'

Have that at home but never watched it, I will get around to it at some stage.

Fred C. Dobbs wrote:

errrmmm lets not forget the oirish ones....... hows 'dead meat' for a contender? killer cows on the loose and dialogue that has no bearing on the goings on at all

Have you watched "Rawhead Rex" yet ? 100 times worse than Dead Meat IMO. Dead meat was funny at least.

TerrorFirmer

Children of the Living dead was absolutely brutal alright. What's disgraceful is that Tom Savini himself was actually involved. The whole movie was a mess of repetitive headshots, fat cops rolling around unconvincingly and not much else, apart from laughable production values (in some scenes it mysteriously alternates between day and night!!)

jester77

This is one I saw recently, Devon's Ghost, awful acting!

Boggles

Lemming wrote:

Saw III

I don't think I need to elaborate.

I 2nd, 3rd & 4th that. The only movie I have ever had to look away from.

iremex

this was so crap i forgot the name of it and it was on not two months ago on film 4 or sci-fi..a movie with the two students/scientists where one found out the formula that can revive ppl from the dead. think he tried it out on his cat or something in the basement of his house but the dead come back as angry killer zombies.

iremex

iremex wrote:

this was so crap i forgot the name of it and it was on not two months ago on film 4 or sci-fi..a movie with the two students/scientists where one found out the formula that can revive ppl from the dead. think he tried it out on his cat or something in the basement of his house but the dead come back as angry killer zombies.

Sacrilege, you refer to the excellent Re-Animator. One of the most enjoyable films ever released. Admittedly the two sequels so far, aren’t a patch on the original but with Stuart Gordon returning for House of Re-Animator I have high hopes.

trendkill

This is not sacrilege... its Goddamn HERESY....
Reanimator is almost religious doctrine in Horror......

burn em at the stake....;)

monkeyfudge

Yep. Re-animator is a classic... easily the best Lovecraft adaptation there is.

DerekP11

iremex wrote:

this was so crap i forgot the name of it and it was on not two months ago on film 4 or sci-fi..a movie with the two students/scientists where one found out the formula that can revive ppl from the dead. think he tried it out on his cat or something in the basement of his house but the dead come back as angry killer zombies.

I disagree with your opinion on Re-Animator and if you don't change it, Im sending THAT CAT (have one just like it in my fridge) around to see you.:eek:

trendkill

I've never seen the Uncut version of Re-animator... its got the scenes where the headless doctor starts feeling up the blonde on the operating table etc. its availiable for download on a tracker site. I'd give the name of it only I got banned from the Films section on boards.ie for listing one. Banned straight away.... you wouldnt mind, i was just asking a question where to find the old TV series caleed MONSTERS.... didnt even get a chance to argue...(**** YOU RUGGIEBEAR (I made a short film about you!!!!.. and reported you for using an image of Bear in the Big blue house with a bottle of Heineken in his hand... HAHA).. Anyone wants to know where Re-Animator is just PM me

bjj-fighter

Lemming wrote:

Saw III

I don't think I need to elaborate.

I liked Saw III it was good enough but I love the Saw series so Im biased

The worst ones I've seen in a while are An American Haunting,Land Of The Dead and The Grudge 2

TerrorFirmer

There used to be a user on boards called Garred, that sold on his DVDs on a very regular basis, guess he wasn't much of a collector. Among literally dozens of other DVD's I bought off him, one of them was the Re-animator Millenium edition, unrated, uncut and a double disc edition. For a measly 5 euro! I used to buy so many movies off that guy, and they were always in brand new shop condition too...

trendkill

christ.... ive only got the tartan version.... .....

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/9487/reanimator1985uncutdvdr5ms.jpg

this is the one, I havent downloaded it though.. gone over my monthly limit.

Whats in the bonus features 6 hours!!!! woo hoo... gotta find this one to buy

DerekP11

Having watched the uncut version of RA on film4 a few weeks back (my first time) the only differences I could see from my original 1987 VHS copy, were near the end of the movie. The head wasn't just content with the breasts, it wanted to go down further. (quick shot of head between the legs)

After that its just extended scenes, more gore, more daring etc etc.

niallon

Re-Animator is on my list of to see before I die as I was not even born when it was made (sorry Derek!) and didn't catch it! As regards worst horror films I've ever seen I have two that must be mentioned:

First off, anyone ever heard of Granny? Made by some Russian film student the plot involved a bunch of twentysomethings having a get together only to be picked off one by one by the malovelent "Granny". Terrible acting, brutal camerawork (fairly certain it was shot on a camcorder) and in general just a complete lack of love and knowledge for the craft. Oh, and the "twist"! No need to spoiler protect because with a 50 minute movie you'll get to it fairly promptly but it turns out the Granny was just one of the characters dressed up and pretending. Their plan was to scare one of their mates silly.....but she ends up having a heart attack....and so we are treated to a closing scene at her funeral, where the director so ignorantly tries, for a brief moment, to lead us to believe the characters we are viewing are the ghosts in some slightly more intellgent finale. The film makes Roger Corman look like John Carpenter (no disrepect to the genius!)

Second up is Bloodsurf. A rowdy young bunch of "MTV style filmmakers who enjoy extreme sports" travel to random sexy sounding exotic location to surf amongst sharks. What they don't count on is the giant saltwater crocodile that comes along to swallow them whole. This film however really is so bad it's good. The crocodile looks like a prickly turd, the acting is just hilarious and the death scenes are so badly cut for example: guy ends up on crocodiles snout.......crocodile flips mouth open.....cut to shot of guy flailing arms wildly against a horrifically obvious bluescreen (in 2002!!!!)......back to shot of crocodiles mouth now featuring it's own personal guy mannequin to pathetically chew on! On the plus side there's a 5 minute sex scene with an extremely obliging aisian girl...who gets eaten straight afterwards! Easiest solution to a no strings attached one night stand ever!!

monkeyfudge

I saw a film on one of those awful Sky Digital channels over the christmas called Piñata: Survival Island which was about a killer piñata. It would hang down from a tree and some drunken frat boys would come along and decide to hit the piñata, but it would grab the baseball bat off them and beat them up instead.

Xander out of Buffy was in it.

TerrorFirmer

Ah yes, Bloodsurf, certainly a bad movie but not remotely as bad as to be included on a 'worst movies ever' list...

Owen

The Mothman Prophesies. Quite possibly the most slow, boring movie ever made.

niallon

HavoK wrote:

Ah yes, Bloodsurf, certainly a bad movie but not remotely as bad as to be included on a 'worst movies ever' list...

Worst I've seen anyway, I usually can't sit through bad films so tht may be why it is!

Children of the Living Dead

Den_M

monkeyfudge wrote:

Piñata: Survival Island

I seriously gotta see this

DerekP11

Granny?

Ah yes! Real bad, but it got to DVD. Some distributor somewhere picked it up. There is hope for any budding film-maker.

Saw the worst of all time last night on the Horror channel (zone horror)....The haunting of Meurella or something like that. Im sure I saw David McCallum in it. Full of naked chicks and studmuffin men in period costume. So bad it was funny, especially with a few beers on board.

But seriously anyone remember a film from the 80s (the decade of all that was good and absolutely awful about horror) called "the lamp" ?????

Pure muck. Most of the crew appeared in it via shadows cast on sets. Oh and the boom should have been listed in the cast credits.