Broken Condom...

flogen

Faith wrote:

If she took the MAP within 24 hours, she only has about a 1% chance of getting pregnant. She should probably still take a pregnancy test though.

I thought it was a higher percentage than that... I thought even when taken very quickly the MAP only provides 85% (or so) success rate. (wiki puts it at 75%, although that's for women mid-cycle and it is the wiki)

If she's just finished her period by a few days your chances of her getting pregnant are, again, decreased... but nothing in this world (except abstinence) provides total security.

You were stupid to use a ripped condom, and as a result you've made your first time far more stressful than it should have been. You were stupid not to tell her beforehand and that'll probably come back to bite you at some stage. You were stupid to not read the instructions about putting on a condom properly (or else not paying attention and doing it twice).

Oh, and as tSubh mentioned, and STI test would be an idea at this stage; if she's not a virgin (and you are) she's obviously had sex with someone else... you might be lucky on the pregnancy-front, but maybe not elsewhere.

dudara

@craichoe - Unhelpful comments are not appreciated. Please leave the modding to the moderators.

dudara

Faith

flogen wrote:

I thought it was a higher percentage than that... I thought even when taken very quickly the MAP only provides 85% (or so) success rate. (wiki puts it at 75%, although that's for women mid-cycle and it is the wiki).

Aye, I was mistaken. The failure rate is about 10%, lower the earlier it's taken, according to http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/morningafterpill.htm.

craichoe

AFAIK, Failure rates of Drugs and the Pill are based on clinical trials, So whatever the result of the trial was at the time thats the failure rate.

i.e. you try it on a sample of 100 people and 3 get pregnant, they work 97% of the time.

Ideally anything will work 100% of the time, but this isnt the case.

Its more like it either works or it doesnt.

Either way, I wouldnt worry about it, you can have sex with no protection and not get pregnant.

She either is or she isn't

craichoe

dudara wrote:

@craichoe - Unhelpful comments are not appreciated. Please leave the modding to the moderators.

dudara

I do not think that people should be made feel like total crap when their already worried about something like that, my point is that anyone could make that mistake, people have made worst, i'm sure everyone has made at least one stupid mistake in their lives.

It happens.

In china your quote would be phrased as

"Unhealthy comments are not appreciated, please disappear to the happy camp and let mother china decide whats best"

Carrigart Exile

craichoe wrote:

I do not think that people should be made feel like total crap when their already worried about something like that, my point is that anyone could make that mistake, people have made worst, i'm sure everyone has made at least one stupid mistake in their lives.

It happens.

In china your quote would be phrased as

"Unhealthy comments are not appreciated, please disappear to the happy camp and let mother china decide whats best"

I with you craichoe

Nevyn

There is no happy camp but you can not restrain yourslef to posting with in the rules for this forum then that delimia will be resolved with your prilvage to do so being removed.

IF you have an issue with a mods decision or a ruling with any forum then take it up with the mod via pm or start a tread in the feed back from.

Remember off topic, unhelpfil and spammy posts will get you banned from this forum.
Have a nice day,
Thaedydal

Overheal

(silly crag...exiled..Irony)

Yeah I know I was pretty harsh on him.. but don't you have to be? Im not trying to start this up again: but if you walk around a town center on a Saturday you are going to see a ridiculous amount of Teenaged parents. The message needs to be driven into everyone (especially us Teenagers) about being extremely cautious.

Well, I can understand your dilemma a bit more now; and I'm sure you've heard all hell in the Real World but if you were down to your last condom after ripping your other one, why didn't you ask her to put it on for you? Okay, granted, I wouldve found it a turn-on myself (:D) and I suppose you needed all the help you could get to 'restrain yourself' for your big night

Motley Crue

craichoe wrote:

Everyone on this thread that has gone on their high horse over this guy making a mistake, maybe you should get the hell off it right now.

I dont apprichate your tone, this is a boards to help boarders with Personal Issues, and you telling people they shouldnt give advice in their own personal way is not your place

craichoe wrote:

He made a mistake

I agree, but it needs to be addressed, not tip toed around

craichoe wrote:

He didn't know it was a problem that it was ripped, if a woman came on and said ...

Actually, I think he did know it was a problem it was ripped, if a young man buys a condom under the knowledge that its used for Sex/Protection against Pregnancy and STI then then they know theres a reason the condoms are airtight in little packets and stored in dry conditions. They also know, if they read the instruction leaflet, that the condom shouldnt be ripped or torn or re-used.

In this case, he even accepted the fact that he had prior knowledge of the fact that condom was ripped AND that this was a bad thing. However, he chose to do nothing, because as far as he says I was a virgin and I extremely wanted to break my virginity and in this act of desperation, and the fact that he hadnt the other 2 condoms from the packet, he went ahead with what he was doing.

He made a choice, and acted upon impulse and urge rather then stopping and thinking with a bit of self control. If she liked him enough to sleep with him she would have waited, and respected him for the fact he wasnt about to use a dodgy condom.

He even accepted he perhaps wasnt putting on the condom right, since the first one broke thats because I really tugged it on

I dont condemn him, because he made a mistake and realised afterwards he was wrong, and is sorry for that...but I wont accept you coming onto this board and telling me and everyone else how we should treat him based upon the information he tells us. Keep your own comments to yourself and dont attack other boarders for providing a service, that essentially they dont have to, to another member of the forum community

Talliesin

Questionsoflife wrote:

Im not going to defend myself here because Im after completely accepting responsibility for what was the stupidist thing Ive ever done in my life.

We all do stupid things. When we realise we've done stupid things we've a chance of learning from them.

Questionsoflife wrote:

I was a virgin and I extremely wanted to break my viriginity. Another reason was she wasnt a virgin and I was, but she thought otherwise because I was too embaressed to admit it.

That was another stupid thing right there. A couple of stupid things really.

Firstly you're not going to be much changed after you lose your virginity.

Secondly if you're a virgin and she knows you're a virgin then she's likely to think that it was special, sweet, meaningful or otherwise a good thing that she was your first while understanding that you aren't very experienced. If you are a virgin and she thinks you're experienced then she's going to think "he's had [claimed number of former lovers] lovers before and he's still doing it like that - he's pretty crap".

Questionsoflife wrote:

She wanted the lights off and that made it alot harder to monitor what was going on.

This is true. I also don't see the point of making love to an attractive person if I can't see them, but that's just me, YMMV.

Questionsoflife wrote:

I was greedy, decieving, completely irresponsible and stupid

I'd saw you were more young and overexcited than greedy and deceiving. I'm with you on the irresponsible and stupid bit though.

Right, you've done the stupid thing, you can't undo it. You've beaten yourself up a bit and at this point your getting to the point where if you keep beating yourself up over it it's no longer a matter of facing up to your mistake and becomes a matter of wallowing in the guilt.

So now it's time to get over it, talk to your partner about what went wrong, including the fact that you're inexperienced and move on.

Questionsoflife wrote:

About the rip, it was a small enough rip to start with but I think what scared me most was I think I saw it had widened a lil when I took it off.

Well of course it did.

Ever hear the joke about how the purpose of balloons is to burst and in doing so teach children that things don't last? I think I've just found another purpose.

Come on, the things are made of thin latex. Think for two seconds about a rip in a piece of thin latex which is then being moved about from coition. How do you expect that rip to not get bigger?

Questionsoflife wrote:

Is it simply a matter that hopefully a sperm hasnt reached the egg yet?

There really should be a law that nobody can get any junior or leaving certificates and not know the answer to that question.

It's been discussed above enough to answer you immediate question, but seriously start with http://www.ifpa.ie/contraception/ and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_control get a clue.

And read the bloody leaflet that comes with the packet.

Questionsoflife wrote:

hey looked safe made by durex and labelled "extra safe". Are these condoms notoriously bad or wot?

Actually they're notorious for being thicker than they really need to be. But if you've ripped one putting it on it doesn't matter if it's the thickness of a hot-water bottle, put the thing in the bin.

What was the expiry date on them?

Questionsoflife wrote:

I tried one on before alone recently before having sex and it tore hugely then also (thats because I really tugged it on) ... I think that was the main cause that made me rip the condom when I put it on before sex, tugging it on rather than rolling it on very slowly.

You don't need to be slow, but you do need to roll it rather than tugging it. It isn't a sock.

Questionsoflife wrote:

I want to enjoy having SAFE sex with her

SAFER, not SAFE. Contraception doesn't remove the risks entirely. The smart thing is to have an idea of the risks and act on that knowledge, not just to blunder through life and hope for the best.

King of Kings

dudara wrote:

@craichoe - Unhelpful comments are not appreciated. Please leave the modding to the moderators.

dudara

have to disagree with you mr. moderator.

i don't 100% agree with craichoe but I feel they are valid opinions on the matter

Nevyn

King of Kings, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

craichoe

Motley Crue wrote:

I dont apprichate your tone, this is a boards to help boarders with Personal Issues, and you telling people they shouldnt give advice in their own personal way is not your place



I agree, but it needs to be addressed, not tip toed around



Actually, I think he did know it was a problem it was ripped, if a young man buys a condom under the knowledge that its used for Sex/Protection against Pregnancy and STI then then they know theres a reason the condoms are airtight in little packets and stored in dry conditions. They also know, if they read the instruction leaflet, that the condom shouldnt be ripped or torn or re-used.

In this case, he even accepted the fact that he had prior knowledge of the fact that condom was ripped AND that this was a bad thing. However, he chose to do nothing, because as far as he says I was a virgin and I extremely wanted to break my virginity and in this act of desperation, and the fact that he hadnt the other 2 condoms from the packet, he went ahead with what he was doing.

He made a choice, and acted upon impulse and urge rather then stopping and thinking with a bit of self control. If she liked him enough to sleep with him she would have waited, and respected him for the fact he wasnt about to use a dodgy condom.

He even accepted he perhaps wasnt putting on the condom right, since the first one broke thats because I really tugged it on

I dont condemn him, because he made a mistake and realised afterwards he was wrong, and is sorry for that...but I wont accept you coming onto this board and telling me and everyone else how we should treat him based upon the information he tells us. Keep your own comments to yourself and dont attack other boarders for providing a service, that essentially they dont have to, to another member of the forum community

So if a woman is on anti-biotics and wasn't sure if she could have sex or not would this be wrong also. Clearly he wasn't sure.

I mean everyone is telling him that he should have read the instructions, rolled it on, checked the expiry date, researched the subject, implied he was an idiot for not knowing x and y. Are you trying to turn him off sex or what ?

OP, Just forget about it, Make sure you don't break the Jimmy in future and maybe practice putting a few on. You don't need to know the technicalities of how a womans reproductive system works if you don't have to, just make sure the two of you are protected.

To be honest i'm disgusted with some of the people here, its not even constructive, its just a bunch of sad people trying to make someone feel bad.

Nevyn

If you are old enough to be having sex you should be old enough to inform yourself about it and your contraception choices as much as possible.

The op clearly has interacess and should have took the time to find out about condoms is it not that hard a thing to do.

End of the day it is about personal responsiblity and sexual health.

http://www.ifpa.ie/contraception/condoms.html
http://www.thinkcontraception.ie/comfortable-with-condoms/default.asp
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condom
http://www.avert.org/usecond.htm
http://www.ripnroll.com/proper.htm
http://www.rubbertree.org/condom.html
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/malecontraceptives1.html

using google you will get

Results 1 - 10 of about 1,380,000 for how to use condoms. (0.17 seconds)

as for this...

craichoe wrote:

You don't need to know the technicalities of how a womans reproductive system works if you don't have to, just make sure the two of you are protected.

What utter rubbish,
if he is a going to be having sex with women then he does need to know how the female reproductive system works he should have done the basics in intercert science.

He also needs to know about how the form of contraceptive is sexual partner is using works.

again how hard it is to goggle for such answers ?

Nevyn

Questionsoflife you got a right scare but tbh you cleary were not prepared to be having sex in more way then not having enough condoms or not knowing how to use them correctly.

For your own sake and esp if you don't want to be a dad soon and to take care of your sexual health I suggest you take the time to educate yourself as much as possible so that what happen last time won't ever happen again
and that your sex life for years to come will be shagtastic.

Motley Crue

yes, I agree with the post above, google provides a fantastic service and makes it easy to find information on anything from condoms to erections to positions to sex, so the OP should have been able to look up something on this

craichoe

Thaedydal wrote:

If you are old enough to be having sex you should be old enough to inform yourself about it and your contraception choices as much as possible.

The op clearly has interacess and should have took the time to find out about condoms is it not that hard a thing to do.

End of the day it is about personal responsiblity and sexual health.

http://www.ifpa.ie/contraception/condoms.html
http://www.thinkcontraception.ie/comfortable-with-condoms/default.asp
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condom
http://www.avert.org/usecond.htm
http://www.ripnroll.com/proper.htm
http://www.rubbertree.org/condom.html
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/malecontraceptives1.html

using google you will get


as for this...


What utter rubbish,
if he is a going to be having sex with women then he does need to know how the female reproductive system works he should have done the basics in intercert science.

He also needs to know about how the form of contraceptive is sexual partner is using works.

again how hard it is to goggle for such answers ?

Yes, he probably did ? But why does he have to know ? If hes protected does it make any difference ?

And come on, Google ? Are you serious ? you can google all you want but seriously about half of the information you read about anything conflicts with various other documentation, look at wikipedia, its 20 percent total tripe. Even the Wiki Project have said this. If he really wants to learn about it then he will, but not because you tell him to, he has to want to learn this on his own.

Even if you read back along this thread different people quote different sources for failure rates of condoms, the morning after pill and their all different ?

My point is that he and anyone he chooses to have sex with should be protected, period, short of castrating himself.

glitter-bug

ahhhh WHY would you do that? next time give the top a squeeze to make sure its nicey and tightey

craichoe

Results 1 - 10 of about 9,720,000 for arse [definition]. (0.05 seconds)


No .. Google is not a point of reference .. Believe me .. if i followed everything google said in my job i'd be SCREWED

Motley Crue

glitter-bug wrote:

ahhhh WHY would you do that? next time give the top a squeeze to make sure its nicey and tightey

i....seee......well, i suppose theres some truth to the fact that with advice like this you cant still get proper sex education

Talliesin

craichoe wrote:

Yes, he probably did ? But why does he have to know ? If hes protected does it make any difference ?

How does he know he's protected if he doesn't know what the hell he's doing?

craichoe wrote:

And come on, Google ? Are you serious ? you can google all you want but seriously about half of the information you read about anything conflicts with various other documentation, look at wikipedia, its 20 percent total tripe. Even the Wiki Project have said this. If he really wants to learn about it then he will, but not because you tell him to, he has to want to learn this on his own.

Both are good starting points though.

drdre

tSubh Dearg wrote:

You may both want to look into STI tests to be on the safe side unless you're both very sure that neither of you is infected with anything.

Just of of curiosity, how do you know if you have std or not.are there any symptoms.thanks

Nevyn

many sti are asymphomatic that is you don't know you have them until have already done considerible damage to you and at that stage you will have passed them on.