What's the REAL story with stag nights?

GAA widow

saw thread on stag night ideas there and it got me thinking... we often hear "what happens on the stag stays on the stag, nudge nudge, wink wink" etc.
So lads, once and for all, what's the actual story about stag nights?

Giblet

Lots of gay sex, he may never have a chance again!

dr.bollocko

Its all one big con, so that the guy can arrange a labotomy, so that he can actually put up with being married for any significant amount of time before figuring out what an idiot he was. Thats why the groom always looks so much wose for wear than anyone else the morning after. The bit of his brain that cares about him ruining his life has been drunk clear out his ear, and now he is free to listen and be moaned at for the rest of his life.

TheBlock

Someones fella is going on a stag and there a little nervous....:D

Ruu_Old

All a cover, us lads go out for tea and scones, a jolly good time.

dr.bollocko

Ha! Like u were gonna find out what REALLY happens that easily.
We didnt get this far as a gender by giving away our secrets to other genders.
Why do ye think ye cant open jam jars?

godtabh

dr.bollocko wrote:

We didnt get this far as a gender by giving away our secrets to other genders.

What other genders? I can only think of one!

dr.bollocko wrote:

Its all one big con, so that the guy can arrange a labotomy, so that he can actually put up with being married for any significant amount of time before figuring out what an idiot he was. Thats why the groom always looks so much wose for wear than anyone else the morning after. The bit of his brain that cares about him ruining his life has been drunk clear out his ear, and now he is free to listen and be moaned at for the rest of his life.

Women arent that bad are they?

Going to a stage my self in a while. Cant wait

TheBlock

To a stage or Through a stage???

Of course women are that bad that's why "What happens on Stag stays on Stag nudge nudge wink wink":D

skywalker

Ruu wrote:

All a cover, us lads go out for tea and scones, a jolly good time.

Come now Ruu, tell the whole truth. We play boggle aswell!

crosstownk

I wish I could tell you, but as we all have so much to drink on a stag's we can't even remember ourselves.

All those weekends away and no memories.........................

stovelid

Its not really a proper stag unless he tries to shag a stripper is it?

The Sweeper

The real story is that if your bloke's a total arsehole he'll use it as an excuse to have sex with someone else.

And if your bloke's a total arsehole, why are you marrying him?

The_Minister

stovelid wrote:

Its not really a proper stag unless he tries to shag a stripper is it?

I think you'll find thats kill a stripper.
Its OK though because they're already dead inside.

oulu

We talk about how lucky we are to have such great girls who let us away for a weekend to do some male bonding, tell the guy who's lucky time has come to get married to ring her at least 10 times over the weekend telling her he wishs she where here. what did you expect went on.

stovelid

no, no, mate; I actually meant shag a stripper. Sorry for the confusion.

The_Minister wrote:

I think you'll find thats kill a stripper.

Black Swan

A wake for giving up the single life?

Pighead

The real story is that if your girl's a total arsehole she'll use it as an excuse to have sex with someone else.

And if your girl's a total arsehole, why are you marrying her?

seamus

MinesBIGSLUT wrote:

The real story is that if your bloke's a total arsehole he'll use it as an excuse to have sex with someone else.

And if your bloke's a total arsehole, why are you marrying him?

Ha, once again MAJD has said what I wanted to say, but in 10% of the words.

Anyone who claims that "Every man has a last shag on their stag" is one of the above mentioned total arseholes.

faceman

I've never been on a stage where the bloke gettin married didnt get his rock n roll.... mwahahahaha!

in reality tho, the stag NEVER scores on his stag. Such a shame!

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

GAA widow wrote:

saw thread on stag night ideas there and it got me thinking... we often hear "what happens on the stag stays on the stag, nudge nudge, wink wink" etc.
So lads, once and for all, what's the actual story about stag nights?

same thing that happens ate a hen, lots of lesbian action....for each man.

bluto63

skywalker wrote:

Come now Ruu, tell the whole truth. We play boggle aswell!

That's only on those wild nights though!

ferdi

instead of going on a stag i think the groom should spend 24hours alone with the mother-in-law to be. if he still wants to marry the girl after seeing what she will become, then ye know its for real.

Big Nelly

All the stags I go on its the same rule "what happens on tour stays on tour"

Best place for a stag is Edinburugh for a weekend, there is soo many hen parties there, and believe me it was the hen parties girl we all where with so you cant just blame stags. Did cause alot of confusion morning we where supposed to get plane home when we more or less where just ringin people and tell them to meet at airport because nobody was in the correct hotel:D

dr.bollocko

Yeah in fairness, the hen night is a lot seedier, tackier and nastier than any cruel tricks men can come up with. Frigging L plates, glittery cheap things from pound shops, dirty drunken scary women. Eww.

brown*eyed*girl

dr.bollocko wrote:

Yeah in fairness, the hen night is a lot seedier, tackier and nastier than any cruel tricks men can come up with. Frigging L plates, glittery cheap things from pound shops, dirty drunken scary women. Eww.

LOL have to agree, was in a pub recently & the most timid, shy barman was harassed by a "gaggle of hens" screeching obsene things at him & grabbing his ars*. I really did want the ground to open up for him. He was mortified .

One memory that sticks in my mind of a stag night was when I was only 18 & we were in a club & the groom to be was tied to a pole in the middle of the dance floor, naked with silly string sprayed all over him. Myself & my mates were shocked as we had only recenlty started going out! but we still got a good look Often wonder did he get home ok..

dr.bollocko

Of course he got home ok!
"NO MAN LEFT BEHIND!!!"

Big Nelly

dr.bollocko wrote:

Of course he got home ok!
"NO MAN LEFT BEHIND!!!"

Well said!!!!!


Women are a different story, there friend could be dead in the cornor and she would walk out without a care in the world and off home!!!

Donegal Lass

thats because the groom-to-be on a stag do got to her first!!

Big Nelly

Donegal Lass wrote:

thats because the groom-to-be on a stag do got to her first!!

What the hell you talking about?

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

dr.bollocko wrote:

Of course he got home ok!
"NO MAN LEFT BEHIND!!!"

wasn't that said about Ernest Shackleton or was it Tom Crean.

Sleepy

From the vantage point of working as a night porter, the brides-to-be seemed to be more likely to bring someone back to the hotel room with her than her male counterpart on a roughly 7:5 ratio.

Most stag dos that I've been on have been tame enough affairs which just consisted of getting rat arsed with the boys, singing badly and lots of cheap jokes at the stag's expense.

GAA widow

lol at all the replies - 800 views so far - i guess i'm not the only curious one

bringitdown

Its a secret.

SmoothyG

I'd tell you what happened at my stag do but i'd probably be banned and definatly arrested. second best event of my life (1st is the marrige day)

Ill never forget the bits i remember


I'd say you should know what your fella will be up to from the kind of person he is,
My wife knew i was nuts the day she met me. so she never asked what happened on my stag, coz she knows ill tell her the truth

SmoothyG

GAA widow wrote:

lol at all the replies - 800 views so far - i guess i'm not the only curious one

no...

its just all the lads here so delighted to have the power of knowladge!

NA na na na na we're not telling!!!

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

GAA widow wrote:

lol at all the replies - 800 views so far - i guess i'm not the only curious one

ah but you have come up against the "stag wall of silence"
so your curiosity continues along with every other woman who want to know what go on.

Big Nelly

GAA widow wrote:

lol at all the replies - 800 views so far - i guess i'm not the only curious one

Nah your just a sad woman who know you bloke is already shagging around but thinks he is going to do it on some stag nite, and guess what you are right!!!

meditraitor

Big Nelly wrote:

Nah your just a sad woman who know you bloke is already shagging around but thinks he is going to do it on some stag nite, and guess what you are right!!!

Thats just plain nasty:rolleyes:





Pity the rep point system was scrapped, +1,000,000

Mrs_Doyle

GAA widow wrote:

saw thread on stag night ideas there and it got me thinking... we often hear "what happens on the stag stays on the stag, nudge nudge, wink wink" etc.
So lads, once and for all, what's the actual story about stag nights?

Lads go out, get hammered, have a good time, possibly go see some strippers/lap dancers, attempt to strip each other, in a non homosexual way - of course, fight with each other, make friends again, cry a bit, drunkenly, share man hugs, go get a kebab, vomit a little, and then walk/fall home, arm in arm, telling tales of days gone by.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

Lads go out, get hammered, have a good time, possibly go see some strippers/lap dancers, attempt to strip each other, in a non homosexual way - of course, fight with each other, make friends again, cry a bit, drunkenly, share man hugs, go get a kebab, vomit a little, and then walk/fall home, arm in arm, telling tales of days gone by.

ah so you have no idea either... this stag wall of silence is much stronger that i thought.

connundrum

Pighead wrote:

The real story is that if your girl's a total arsehole she'll use it as an excuse to have sex with someone else.

And if your girl's a total arsehole, why are you marrying her?

For my stag I think we'll go the pictures, then maybe bowling afterwards.. something like that

My mate went to Galway for his brother's stag weekend, he was raving about it for months beforehand, saved up and everything. He spent both days on the jax due to crap food they stopped for on the way down.. unlucky! No skankyass'd stripper for him!

Mrs_Doyle

Ah look, obviously I don't know every single thing that goes on during a stag night, but I do know that not all men are the kind of greedy, sleazy fcukers who would cheat on their stag nights.

meditraitor

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

Ah look, obviously I don't know every single thing that goes on during a stag night, but I do know that not all men are the kind of greedy, sleazy fcukers who would cheat on their stag nights.

I've been on 6 stags in the past year (30 odd now, all the lads getting hooked) and I can honestly say not one of the Grooms to be screwed around..

Although some of the already married guys on the trips did the nasty(fucking wedding rings are better than rohypnol for getting birds it seems)

Sp@rtacus

Re tacky hen nights.. was out last night and had the dubious pleasure of being in the same pub as a hens party from Liverpool. One word. FRIGHTENING!!
It will take me quite a while to recover from the psychological trauma of it all (:D ). I was presented with a large chocolate willy and the freakiest looking willy-shaped-straw-thing...:eek: with which to drink my pint. Thought best to go along with their sick and twisted shenanigans rather than rile 25 loopers just waiting to humiliate the first man that stirred their ire..:p Nonetheless I was then, what I can only describe as "smothered" by the most gargantuan mahusive...mailbags ever. Said mailbags were attached to the mother of the bride <shudder> I feel unclean.

daosulli

skywalker wrote:

Come now Ruu, tell the whole truth. We play boggle aswell!

I've heard about those stags!!!

meditraitor

Extreme Stag

TerrorFirmer

meditraitor wrote:

Extreme Stag

I'm in a pretty foul mood this fine afternoon but I couldn't help but give a smile at that

crackernutz

it took me a while to read through this thread because of language differences ,but I managed. Here we call them Bachelor parties for the unknowing. Last one I went too, we took our friend out to a strip club. You pay the club around 50 us dollars to get him on the stage. They dance for him, the rip off his shirt, wrap a belt around his neck and walk him down the stage to the end, at the end the skanks strippers beat his butt with belts and tear his underwear off. it's quite embaressing ,but well worth it to see your friends ass and face all red.

BaZmO*

We all dress up as Mr. T

Tall Tom

BaZmO* wrote:

We all dress up as Mr. T

OMG! :eek:

GAA widow

Big Nelly wrote:

Nah your just a sad woman who know you bloke is already shagging around but thinks he is going to do it on some stag nite, and guess what you are right!!!

Jesus, who stole the jam out of your doughnut???