Stupid things you have done or regularly do while sober........

FranknFurter

I have on more than one occasion......

Left the house keys in the door on the outside when going out.
Spent 20+ minutes trying to figure out why a pc is giving me little alert boxes, then actually *reading* one and knowing exactly.

Im sure ill think of (or be reminded of), more stupid things...

b

Rb

Read this thread :P

On a more serious note though, don't think I've done anything I'd consider really stupid when sober tbh. If I have then it obviously wasn't significant enough to be remembered.

eamoss

Trying to jump a wall in front of 10+ ppl and my leg slipping off the wet wall and me going head 1st into the ground. Dont know why I did it tho!!

mazroo

look for my fork and demand to know why someone had lifted it uz i wanst finished only to find it in my hand about 5 mins later....

Ask how much 10p bag was(bak in the day)

Lookin at clothes in aa shop and say.. 'grab my size befor she does''.... only to find out it was me.... in the morror.. Im not bonde btw

Ruu_Old

mazroo wrote:

look for my fork and demand to know why someone had lifted it uz i wanst finished only to find it in my hand about 5 mins later....

Ask how much 10p bag was(bak in the day)

Lookin at clothes in aa shop and say.. 'grab my size befor she does''.... only to find out it was me.... in the morror.. Im not bonde btw

Yep "how much is your penny sweets?"

StopWatch

Accidently sending a txt to my mate, who was sitting right beside me,
a txt which was meant for a girl that i was seeing at the time....a girl he had been seeing about a year previously....oooh that was a doozy
We still laugh about it now (thank christ)

Fajitas!

Talking about someone to someone else via text and sending the text to the person I'm talking about... serves me right for talking about people I guess! Lol! Hasn't happened in a fair while, but I'm fairly paranoid about it.

iFight

Lick the freezer......vicious it is. Very scary

Heyes

I have an awfull habit of coming up with some stupid one liners that i get a fair old slagging about but sure tis all a bit of a laugh

Wertz

Drink.

Vorsprung

Wertz wrote:

Drink.

Ditto!

Also, going to south east USA during hurricane season last year. BAADDD idea!!!

SpAcEd OuT

Fajitas! wrote:

Talking about someone to someone else via text and sending the text to the person I'm talking about...

I do that a lot as well

kaizersoze

Give honest opinions to herself when asked about new clothes or a new hair-do. I'll never learn.

Miguel_Sanchez

Left the house very early one morning and was wondering why everything seemed a bit blurry - put it down to the fact that I had just rolled out of bed and gone straight out the door. I was halfway down the road to the bus stop before I realised I'd forgotten to put my glasses on.

connundrum

I go to work on a daily basis

Jotter

When holding money in one hand and rubbish in another ive thrown the money in bin - more than once!!

brown*eyed*girl

A few years ago when my son was around 1, I put his dirty nappy (thankfully wet only!) in the washing machine and his dirty pyjamas in the bin. Didn't realise it until I unloaded the washing machine after the wash was done and was wondering what all the white squidgy stuff was on the clothes

Also put the remote control in the fridge once and couldn't find it for ages..

Often bring the remote control to bed too..

Years ago before we had mobiles :eek: kept trying to ring my best friend and the phone was constantly engaged until I realised I was ringing my own number the last hour.

jobonar

in my house when you come in the front door there is a small hall then another door into the kitchen.. every night my dad locks the door into the hall so about 2 or 3 mornings a week i'll go to walk out the door to go to work only to walk stright into the door... i never learn!

Left the keys in the outside of the door after a night out (yes, sober), thankfully I'd locked the porch door thingy...
that and calling someone after talking about them when i'd meant to call someone else...

BossArky

accidently sent a message to my mother which was supposed to be for my girlfriend.... oh how I cringe when I think back

Deer

Looking for my glasses when they are actually on me.
Despite the fact that I use it at least thirty times a day not being able to remember the date straight away.
Jumping on cardboard boxes and either falling through them or bouncing off them and falling and hurting myself.
Tripping and falling on my high heels (I never do this when I'm p issed)
Trying to change the channel on the tv with the remote for the dvd

The list would go on... I'm a very forgetful person.

Taking a piss in the washbasket and throwing my boxers into the toilet.

I did this straight after waking up from about 2 hrs sleep....

Gordon

Deleted User wrote:

Taking a piss in the washbasket and throwing my boxers into the toilet.

I did this straight after waking up from about 2 hrs sleep....

I've got an upright washing machine next to the toilet and find myself throwing my laundry into the toilet occasionally.

Dooom

Once or twice I've been known to spend about half an hour looking and wondering where my sunglasses are only to find I'm wearing them.

Or the usual things revolving around thinking or being told to do something, and five minutes later having completely and utterly forgotten what it was.

Spike

Spike wrote:

Once or twice I've been known to spend about half an hour looking and wondering where my sunglasses are only to find I'm wearing them.

Or the usual things revolving around thinking or being told to do something, and five minutes later having completely and utterly forgotten what it was.

Me too...
and someone asked me to get their handbag from them once... I went and picked up the tv remote and handed it to them... I didn't cop on until they pointed it out

connundrum

I just stood in the lift for literally 4-5 minutes.. wondering why it was taking so bleedin long to go up one floor. Apparently you have to press a button to make it move

scojones

connundrum wrote:

I just stood in the lift for literally 4-5 minutes.. wondering why it was taking so bleedin long to go up one floor. Apparently you have to press a button to make it move

I hate it when that happens, especially when you're not alone in the lift and you're the one who "pressed" the button. The other occupants of the lift look at you as if you were born yesterday, and then throw their eyes up to the high heavens. Meanies.

Archeron

I once spent about 15 minutes trying to order drinks off a mirror in Fireworks in Pearse Street. I could see the reflection of the bar behind me and thought I was stood in the queue. (drunk for that one thanks be to Jebus)

Once I left the Turks head and accidentally took a (big) girls coat instead of my own. Because I was so drunk, I didnt notice the lovely white fuzzy cuffs and neckline. To make things worse, I tried to get into a car which I thought was a taxi, but wasnt. Essentially, some poor girl in North Strand turned around to find what looked like a very p*ssed six foot two 240 pound transvestite trying to squeeze into the back of her Micra. Hope she saw the funny side later, but she drive off with the door open.

ThrownAway

Waste my money on stupid stuff I don't really need....:o

Dun laoire

This will not be beaten.


When i worked out on the road as an apprentice carpet fitter we where looking for directions to this place. My window was half way open and i stuck my head out to theses two lads to ask for help in finding our destination. I stupidly stuck my head out and went to roll the window down cause it was a bit tight but i rolled it up jamming my head between the window and the top of the door (hurt like hell too) and the two boys couldnt give directions, not because the didnt know where the place was it was because they couldnt stop laughing.

Tar.Aldarion

Texting the person i am thinking about instead of who I want to text.
Looking for something that is in my hand, whoops!

Dooom

Dun laoire wrote:

This will not be beaten.


When i worked out on the road as an apprentice carpet fitter we where looking for directions to this place. My window was half way open and i stuck my head out to theses two lads to ask for help in finding our destination. I stupidly stuck my head out and went to roll the window down cause it was a bit tight but i rolled it up jamming my head between the window and the top of the door (hurt like hell too) and the two boys couldnt give directions, not because the didnt know where the place was it was because they couldnt stop laughing.

ROFL

BossArky

Dun laoire wrote:

This will not be beaten.


When i worked out on the road as an apprentice carpet fitter we where looking for directions to this place. My window was half way open and i stuck my head out to theses two lads to ask for help in finding our destination. I stupidly stuck my head out and went to roll the window down cause it was a bit tight but i rolled it up jamming my head between the window and the top of the door (hurt like hell too) and the two boys couldnt give directions, not because the didnt know where the place was it was because they couldnt stop laughing.

I like your style

Creamy Goodness

stand barefoot on a upturned plug (just out of bed).

cut toenails too short :eek:

scojones

Bring the tv remote to the bathroom and leave it there.

takola

I'm constantly losing my phone, thinking i'll call it to see where it is but realising I don't have a phone to call it with! Then after 15 mins of searching realise it's in my bloody hand!!! :rolleyes:

whiskeyman

Jotter wrote:

When holding money in one hand and rubbish in another ive thrown the money in bin - more than once!!

Guilty of this too

Deleted User wrote:

Taking a piss in the washbasket and throwing my boxers into the toilet.

lol!! I've thrown in socks and jocks into the bog, but thankfully never the other way around!

Pighead

Pighead works for a Multinational Company and has to use a swipe card every day to enter the workplace. Every now and again when I get back to my house feeling tired after a long days graft I get my swipe card out and look for the Card Swipe Reader on my front door. Its never ever there and Pighead always feels silly.

Doomspell

I regularly walk into doors, bookshelves(bloody library), and tend to put orange juice into my cereal instead of the glass. Which is absoloutly digusting if I don't realise in time:eek: Oh and theres the classic, 'Wheres my sunglasses?'..15mins later, I find them on my head!

eddyc

Walking into a room in the house and not remembering why you went in there, only to remember once you've left said room.

rogue-entity

Go to do something only to forget what it is I was going to do.

Standing on a plug upturned (dead sore).

Wasteing money on stuff I dont need (damn credit card).

Saying the most stupid (yet funny) one-liners that had all my friends taking the piss. E.G. "I dont know what age my cousin is, but he's two years younger then my sister" (I know my sisters age obviously).

And of course the classic "texting the wrong person/complete stranger with a "private" message to a girl *do'h*"

Rhyme

connundrum wrote:

I just stood in the lift for literally 4-5 minutes.. wondering why it was taking so bleedin long to go up one floor. Apparently you have to press a button to make it move

Saw this today... person beside me pressed the 'close door' button as a prank on someone running for the lift (he knew the person) and then sat there laughing for a few minutes before he realised he had to press to make the lift move. Silly.

Tar.Aldarion

That means you were there too, for a few minutes.
Who's silly now?

Rhyme

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

That means you were there too, for a few minutes.
Who's silly now?

I was in no rush... i just stood there smiling, like a true Zen master.

Sam Vimes

i was in the lift in work the other day and reading the paper. the lift only goes up 2 floors and i'm on the second.

quite often the lift stops at the first floor and no one gets on or off because someone's pressed the button on that floor and the other lift has arrived first.

i was happily reading my paper when the lift stopped. no one got out so i just assumed it was at the first floor and kept reading. then people started to shuffle out and i was standing in the lift on my own. i realised that the reason no one got out was i was in the way





last year i was in college late in the computer room. the time on the computer was wrong so i ended up leaving it too long to walk to the train. i grabbed my bag and legged it as fast as i could to the station. i forgot that after half 6 the doors magnetically lock and you need to press a switch to open them. needless to say i ran face first into it

FranknFurter

I constantly forget what things are actually called, and end up (without thinking) saying things like......

"I put my thingy in the dishwasher, bloody thing was still hot and I got burned!"

"Ill just grab your thingy before we go"

"I cant seem to find my thing!"

etc etc,....

I too have thrown things in one hand into the bin then wondering why im holding a handful of rubbish.

I also one time sent a txt to my mother saying "that dress looked great on ya me oul hag, but you need some "fu<k me" underwear for underneath!"

*cringe* that took some explaining, specially as Im gay and had to explain why I was giving a woman grief over her underwear and calling her a "hag".

b

Lone Wolf

Yep I often substitute thing with the most important word in the sentence, but its a bad sign when people get so used to it that they know what you mean anyway.

Also I can come out with the most nonsensical one-liners
"Shallow like a 10 foot concrete fox in shallow water"
Possibly my favourite one

Oral Slang

I walk into things constantly - tables, chairs, beds etc. Walked into the bedroom door a few weeks ago & had a bruise under my eye. Worst was when I was in Australia. I was strolling along looking behind me for a taxi & bam - walked straight into an enormous tree which was double the width of me - you couldn't miss it. Ended up with a big graze & bruise on my cheek.

I text my friend a text all about him - thankfully nothing bad..

Back when I was in school, I used to get up all the time at about 4 or 5 in the morning, thinking it was time to get up & get into my uniform & all before realising. Very rarely do it now, only once in blue moon!

I've got up in my sleep & tried to order stuff off the internet..

My dad regularly puts his mug, the remote control, the sugar etc. into the fridge & spends ages looking for them.

Oh yeah, just from reading that last one.

Last year, i woke up, as normal, went to the shower, got washed, brushed my teeth, came downstairs and started to put my school uniform on. Looked over at the clock, it was 2:15 in the morning!!

Mrs_Doyle

When I was 18 I went on hols with a big gang, and my then BF went too, my mumsie is quite old fashioned and did not approve of this at all, so myself, and my pals manage (somehow) to convince her that the lads had their own apartment, and that I would be staying with the girls.
Off we went on holidays, had a blast, came home, and were very careful to keep up the little white lie.
Any photo’s that may have led mumsie to believe that then BF stayed in my apartment where quickly destroyed, all our accounts of what happened whilst away were edited and verified before being told to mummy dearest.
I lied so much that I almost believed that he really did stay with the lads.
Then about 3 years later my pals and myself are sitting in my living room, totally sober, chatting about old times.
The holiday came up and my pal started to tell this brilliant story about our toilet overflowing one night, and I pipe in with ' Ah that was all *Tom's* fault. That night he came in puked all over the place, he had the bathroom in an awful state, and then he puked in our bedroom, the place was in bits, but I made him clean it up before we went to bed, and he was dying, feeling all sorry for himself, ah it was gas.... ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, eh, his room, always got him to clean his room, then I would go back to my own room, with the girls.......eh, yeah, good times"

So after 3 years of getting our story straight I just gone and let the cat out of the bag, whilst sober, and mumsie gave me an Irish Mammy style clatter to the back of the head for lying to her, and for getting my friends to lie to her. She was ragin with me.

Ha, My mammy reckons you’re never too big for a slap!

sioda

Have a nasty habit of answering the mobile while takin a leak and next minute phone takes a 10.0 dive and a swim in the toilet bowl. Have done it to four phones