Me? Grow'd up?

dahooligan

Inspired by the 'Whats the worst thing regarding...' thread, I'd just like to know what age I should be before I'm actually considered a grown up?

Am I grown up when I turn 21, when I move out, when I buy my 1st house or when I have a kid?

At the moment I think I'm a prime example of a non grown up person - I'm nearly 25, still living with the folks, I starve to death when they go away for more than a week. I've no savings, pay feck all bills, can't drive etc etc. I still fight with my family like I did when I was a kid ie. "I'm 24 and I can do what I want!!"

But I'm still an adult..

Thoughts?

Adam

You are my nightmare.

Dragan

I turned 25 recentyl, live on my own, have done for the last 7 years and all that.....i never felt like a grown up until i was filling in the census and had to put myself in the "25 to 30" box instead of the "18 to 24".

That was a kick in the stones.:)

Wow.Thats pretty bad.What you work at?I suppose when you move out of the house into your own pace.You have grown up.

LadyJ

I don't think I'll ever feel like a grown up. I still think someone should be signing things in the bank for me. I hate banks! They make me feel like a child!

TomCo

I'm not moving out, everyone will think I have but I'm just going to move into the attic.

Ruu_Old

Come on OP, its time you flew the nest. We've all had to do it. I'm living in my own place but don't think I'll ever grow up, as LadyJ mentioned.:)

Deer

I have the house, the car, the boring job, the kid - no patio thank god but I'm still a big child. In fact the local teenagers think I'm cool.

Actually maybe one is grown up when one starts getting excited about patio's and decking and the like?

Sleepy

Christ sake OP, you can grow up without becoming 'old'...

Crucifix

Someone called me Sir in a shop recently....I'm only twenty!
I've always been one to say "If I grow up" rather than "When I grow up".

jor el

So you're in your mid twenties, you can't even make yourself a sandwich, you live at home and pay no bills and yet you have no money, you have no car and can't drive and you fight like a child but still consider yourself an adult. Hmm, lazy git be more like it.

Do you have a job and if so what do you do with your money? Shoot it up your arm, piss it against a wall, chronic gambling habit?

Ruu_Old

Crucifix wrote:

Someone called me Sir in a shop recently....I'm only twenty!
I've always been one to say "If I grow up" rather than "When I grow up".

Yep, that and "would you like to try our wine?"

Mrs_Doyle

I'm nearly 25, still living with the folks, I starve to death when they go away for more than a week. I've no savings, pay feck all bills, can't drive etc etc. I still fight with my family like I did when I was a kid ie. "I'm 24 and I can do what I want!!"

That pretty much describes me. I am not sure i wanna be a grown up though.
I like living at home, I like paying no rent and having all my money for me, I like my Mam's cooking, I like fighting with my brother and sisters, I like the odd bit of parental advice, I like getting my dad to drive me/pick me up from wherever I go, I like my life - the thoughts of having my own place, making my own food, doing my own cleaning, paying bills etc, does not appeal to me at all!

EDIT - I know I am a bit babyish for my age, but that doesn't make me a bad person.
I spent a fair bit of time in college, just Graduated last year, so I am still in my first year of employment.
I think the change from college world to real world is enough for me to deal with right now.
I will grow up, in my own time, but for now I am really enjoying my life, and I reckon life is there for us to enjoy.
I am not ready to rush into buying property, and I definitely don't wanna rent with strangers, so why not stay at home with the folks a bit longer.... grow up at my own pace.

Kiera

I’m really shocked at the amount of ADULTS who are sponging off their families.

Isn’t it funny how most of you are men. Typical Irish mothers. Wont let little Johnny leave home and will do everything for him.

kaizersoze1

Kiera wrote:

I’m really shocked at the amount of ADULTS who are sponging off their families.

Isn’t it funny how most of you are men. Typical Irish mothers. Wont let little Johnny leave home and will do everything for him.

eh i only counted 1 person saying they still live at home in this thread, and it was the OP. I think living at home in your 20's is pathetic. Its a dublin thing too from what ive seen. Dont give me the excuse of "cant afford to buy a house". Move the f*&k out and rent a place like everyone from the country does who moves to dublin. Living with your parents and you're 25 = SAD :rolleyes:

dahooligan

Kiera wrote:

I’m really shocked at the amount of ADULTS who are sponging off their families.

Isn’t it funny how most of you are men. Typical Irish mothers. Wont let little Johnny leave home and will do everything for him.

I would hardly call it sponging, I put myself through college and I contribute to the weekly food shop, clean up after myself, do my own washing etc.
My family would prefer that I reside with them, I have mentioned moving out in the past and they have said that they'd rather I stay.

Believe me, if I were a financial burden in any way then I would probably be long gone, but my situation seems to be working. The only problem is that people like you would consider me to be a lazy sponge.. that's your issue.

kaizersoze1 wrote:

eh i only counted 1 person saying they still live at home in this thread, and it was the OP. I think living at home in your 20's is pathetic. Its a dublin thing too from what ive seen. Dont give me the excuse of "cant afford to buy a house". Move the f*&k out and rent a place like everyone from the country does who moves to dublin. Living with your parents and you're 25 = SAD :rolleyes:

So, if you were to start college at 18, finish at 24, and your house was 10 minutes away from the college - you're telling me that you'd move out??? I'd rather be considered 'pathetic' than be the dumbass who shells out unnecessary money just to prove that he/she is 'independant'. I've just finished college in the last year, give me a feckin minute to catch my breath.

Kiera

The op and Mrs Doyle are both blokes. These are the ones still living at home. Are we on the same page yet, kaizersoze1?

biko

I left home at 16, know how to cook and clean etc and have a respectable job but to say I'm an adult? No way

Kiera

dahooligan wrote:

Believe me, if I were a financial burden in any way then I would probably be long gone, but my situation seems to be working. The only problem is that people like you would consider me to be a lazy sponge.. that's your issue.

dont confuse the words "issue" and "opinion".
You said:

dahooligan wrote:

At the moment I think I'm a prime example of a non grown up person - I'm nearly 25, still living with the folks, I starve to death when they go away for more than a week. I've no savings, pay feck all bills, can't drive etc etc. I still fight with my family like I did when I was a kid ie. "I'm 24 and I can do what I want!!"

I'd call that sponging. You said it yourself! You cant cook so you are expecting someone else to do that for you. I'd also call that sponging.

Dragan

Kiera wrote:

The op and Mrs Doyle are both blokes. These are the ones still living at home. Are we on the same page yet, kaizersoze1?

In fairness Kiera i think his point was that the thread is barely started, only two blokes who replied still live at home....so that hardly means that the majority of people still living at home with Mum and Dad are dudes......i think we would need to contact the CSO and check the Census to be sure, but i would say that things are fairly even????

I think the whole, guys living at home thing started to die out a few years ago???

Could be wrong though!!!

kaizersoze1

Kiera wrote:

The op and Mrs Doyle are both blokes. These are the ones still living at home. Are we on the same page yet, kaizersoze1?

eh....if you say so :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

LadyJ

I'm 20 and still live at home but I own the house so I don't see the problem. My aunt and uncle live with me but the house is mine so I ain't leaving!

Smellyirishman

kaizersoze1 wrote:

Move the f*&k out and rent a place like everyone from the country does who moves to dublin.

Seems like a redundant point.

It's not a "Dublin thing". People who move to Dublin from the Country rent because it's the only option they have. Renting is dead money, why would you CHOOSE to do that when you can live with your parents and build up some money.

I am in college and will be until I am at least 21 then will probably stay living with my parents for a while anyway (could be a few months, could be a year or two) before I settle into a job/deciede where I want to go. Why should I move out when I hit 20 and pump dead money into some landlords pocket "just 'cause"?

dahooligan

Smellyirishman wrote:

Seems like a redundant point.

It's not a "Dublin thing". People who move to Dublin from the Country rent because it's the only option they have. Renting is dead money, why would you CHOOSE to do that when you can live with your parents and build up some money.

I am in college and will be until I am at least 21 then will probably stay living with my parents for a while anyway (could be a few months, could be a year or two) before I settle into a job/deciede where I want to go. Why should I move out when I hit 20 and pump dead money into some landlords pocket "just 'cause"?

Ching!

Adam

LadyJ wrote:

I'm 20 and still live at home but I own the house so I don't see the problem. My aunt and uncle live with me but the house is mine so I ain't leaving!

How did you get so lucky? :eek:

I'm 20, still at home, though i pay rent and generally look after myself with cooking/cleaning etc.

Smellyirishman

fade_to_grey wrote:

How did you get so lucky? :eek:

I don't know the circumstances but some might not consider it lucky.....

dahooligan wrote:

Ching!

*Pelvic thrust*

LadyJ

fade_to_grey wrote:

How did you get so lucky? :eek:

I'm 20, still at home, though i pay rent and generally look after myself with cooking/cleaning etc.

I lived in the house all my life and up until about a year ago it was just me,my granny and grandaunt. Granny died and left the house to me.

Mrs_Doyle

The op and Mrs Doyle are both blokes. These are the ones still living at home.

Eh, I am a girl... why would you think I was a boy?

Kiera

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

Eh, I am a girl... why would you think I was a boy?

Haha sorry my bad. Thought you said you were a bloke in another thread.

Mrs_Doyle

I never needed to leave home because I live in Dublin, my college was in Dublin, and moving out for the sake of it would have crippled me as I paid all my own fees and funded myself throughout college anyhow.
I had a wierd year since leaving college. Changed job a few times, trying to find the right 'one' for me.
I bought a car, went on hols and saw a very good friend get married.
It has been a growing up year and now, well, now i am able to think of saving for a mortgage without freaking out
So i think i was right to move slow and do it all at my pace

connundrum

Kiera wrote:

Haha sorry my bad. Thought you said you were a bloke in another thread.

Methinks Kaizersoze1 deserves an apology so

I personally have been on my ownio since I was 19, not through choice though. Yes I cook (sometimes) and clean (sometimes minus 1) and I guess I do feel independant, but it doesn't make me any more of an adult than someone living with the rents.. I have no savings nor do I live up to most of my other responsibilities (bills are generally late etc).

You can be damn sure that if my parents were still resident in this country I would have had my room booked there - especially during my college years and in the couple of months following graduation.

Move out when you're ready to move out I say, don't bow to the pressure that other 'maturer' people may put on you.. it's all bollocks anyway.

Rent money = dead money.

Jotter

The op didnt say he was living at home to save money bec rent was dead money though, he said himself he doesnt pay bills, has no savings, no car, cant drive, cant cook, and by the sounds of things is kinda proud that he cant do any of these things. Are you single and if not how did you get a girl/boy? I have no objections to people living at home if all parties are happy with arrangement but you need to be able to be independant at 25, ie cook clean contribute to household and save. Id be incredibly disappointed in my parenting if my child turns out to be as helpless as you! Theres a big huge difference between not being grown up and being a complete baby - what a turn off yuk!

dahooligan

dahooligan wrote:

So, if you were to start college at 18, finish at 24, .

You spent six years at uni?Whay were you doing(failing probably more like it?:eek:

Smellyirishman

Degree + Masters? Doctorite?

Not uncommon, although some might opt to do a masters at night.

Mrs_Doyle

Deleted User wrote:

You spent six years at uni?Whay were you doing(failing probably more like it?:eek:

Hey!:o I spent 5 years in college, I have my degree now, plus HND.
Just cos I still live at home does not mean I am a stoner or a waster.
I wanted to better myself by obtaining a good education.
This is my first year out of college. Gimme a chance to catch my breath.
I don't plan on living with the folks forever, but right now I am very happy where I am.

Mrs_Doyle

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

Hey!:o I spent 5 years in college, I have my degree now, plus HND.
Just cos I still live at home does not mean I am a stoner or a waster.
I wanted to better myself by obtaining a good education.
This is my first year out of college. Gimme a chance to catch my breath.
I don't plan on living with the folks forever, but right now I am very happy where I am.

Whats a HND?

Smellyirishman

Higher National Diploma.

{EDIT} Hum, that's weird my response was right after the Dazzler... anywho

projectmayhem

i'm 21, in college and have no plans to move out just yet. i'm saving up and moving into an apt/flat somewhere in the city with 2 mates is becoming a viable option, not because "we just want to" or because we want to pump "dead money" into some landlords bulging pockets, but because there comes a point when you get sick of living with the parents and want some extra freedom.

not that i have no freedom here. my room is in the attic and is rarely entered by anyone other then me, i clean my room and look after it like it was a flat i was renting (i throw some money my mom's way out of my wages all the time, since she DOES cook and clean my clothes!).

though in terms of being a baby, i think everyone by their 20's should have watched their parents cook enough to be able to whip up some good meals. i can make a pretty mean italian or mexican dinner and by your 20's you should be looking after whatever living space you have (i.e. bedroom) like it was a flat... just to be clean, and for the sake of not being caught off guard when you do eventually move out.

WhiteWashMan

i will always be 18.

Rhyme

I don't think ill ever be what i saw as 'grown up'. There'll always be something ahead of a person be it a place of their own, a spouse (perhaps), a shiny new car or a lesson from older people.

Perhaps when ive retired and i actually feel as if ive achieved enough to constitute a good life ill say im 'grown up'.

Darren1o1

I'm gonna keep rocking forever.....forever.....forever...... I think by early 20's most should be able to fend for themselves eg Financially, Cooking, washing etc. But in these days house prices are crazy, it is just a head start to stay on home a little longer after uni until finances are a little more clear cut!

pclancy

I moved out when i was 18 and have rented ever since, cooking/cleaning etc for meself, most of my male mates are the same, I think the days of living at home for mammies cooking are long over.

I think the OPs cirumstances are such that its just worked out really well to live the life he has done. I would have gone mad living at home and without my own car but thats just me. Each to their own and **** it, if his parents are able to support him and want him there and he's happy whats the harm? Might be a good few years late on life experiance but at least hes got a good education and clean slate to start with instead of debt etc that lots of students get into.

Off topic why do ye reckon rent is dead money? Massive rents way higher then mortages fair enuf but I live in a lovely big house with two mates and pay €200 a month. All maintennce done by landlord and no worries of massive mortage payments or jumping interest rates. I dont call it dead money, thats a real old irish phrase, I call it letting someone else pay the mortage. When I want a house I'll buy one but I want to see the world and enjoy myself first!

Ruu_Old

I moved out when I was around 19 I think, over to England to stay with my aunt a few months, got my self together and started working then back home for a while more and in the US for a year now.

evad_lhorg

Im 20 and a half and i have no intentions of moving out to pay rent in some apartment. it may as well be dead money. Id rather stay at home until i can afford to get a house of some sort. especially while im in college. Being away from the parents is great and all but whats the point if you are pissing your money away on rent?

scojones

How's the job market in the US Ruu? Specifically IT.

Ruu_Old

Well in the town I live in theres plenty but you are battling college students here all the time so theres not much room, a lot travel to Chicago and to California which is full of software developers. There are Intel and Ibm offices in town but they deal with software only here.

Tar.Aldarion

I've been grown up since I was about fifteen. Moved out a few years back. Like independence. Once you move out, it is like hell to go back, it's so much better out there living with friends etc.

Sleepy

RENT IS NOT DEAD MONEY!

That's such a stupid expression, it's really starting to annoy me. Owning your own house is not the most important thing in the world, especially if it means you have no decent standard of living while scrimping to pay a mortgage no banking system with a conscience would have given you to buy a sub-standard, seriously over-valued pokey little apartment/semi-D in the suburbs where you have no services/community of any sort.

Rent is like an NTL connection, a phone line, your gas or electricity or even the interest on your mortgage. It's payment for a service.

Seriously, admins, can we enter the phrase in the swear word filter, it's stupidity like this which has priced most of the users of this site out of the housing market.

Ruu_Old

Paying rent is not dead money, it will look great on your credit report if you have records of paying your rent on time and being a good tenant.

pclancy

Cool. So im not alone in my lack of mortgage wantage!

connundrum

Ruu wrote:

Paying rent is not dead money, it will look great on your credit report if you have records of paying your rent on time and being a good tenant.

Maybe I should have said, for me - rent was dead money. May I explain..

In order to get the most cost effective lodgings over my college years I would often have to go with the landlord who wasn't too pleased about my query of a rent book etc. So I have very little evidence as to where I lived over the last 3/4 years (apart from bills addressed to each house). So saying to a bank that I have rented for 3/4 years is useless as I cannot back it up

I needed to live somewhere and rent was the only option for me, and I do accept that it was like a service bill ie. NTL ESB etc.. but I just can't help feeling that it is dead.. if it wasn't then I would be happy renting for the rest of my life - but I'm not.

I would have loved to have lived at my folks house and saved that €15,000+ rent money for a deposit on a house. But thats me, and this is a bit off topic