Sisters Boyfriend

Mad Mike

It sounds like an awful situation and I do sympathise with you. It is only for a few months - perhaps you can come up with coping strategies. If you have your own room then maybe you can move your stuff (PC?) in there and let it be known that he is not allowed in. Other than that I really don't see that you have much choice but to put up with it. You are after all an adult and your parents are as a courtesy allowing you to live in their house. You pretty much have to accept the other guests they choose to invite. I don't think it is your right to start laying down the law in their house. I think that every family home eventually begins to feel a bit like a madhouse. Perhaps this is nature's way of getting us to leave the nest and of course as a previous poster has said once you do get out and see how other people live often you realise that your home wasn't quite so bizarre after all.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

6th wrote:

i was taking it seriously when i posted the above.

Now the problem here is that the moment you mention 'guards' your mother will think 'child porn' and ask specifically what you found. At which point you'll say....?

Worse, she might sayn othing - she might just pre-empt things and head down to the local station and report him. Your computer gets taken for a forensic and which will mean you're without your PC for a few weeks at least. Assuming you're making it up, nothing will be found and you'll have a lot of explaining to do.

LegacyUser

Glad some people think its just not normal or good manners to behave like he does. Yea I guess I'll just have to find another way of coping with it. Its not easy though.

Suppose its how you are brought up though. I have seen him treat his own mum like S**t. Poor woman is elderly and the things his family expect her to do are unbelievable.

Really pity my sister. Love is blind!

6th

Well if she takes it as child porn then tahst up to her, but thats not what you said is it? You just say alot of really nsty pron, it upset you and you got paranoid that the guards would be involved.

i still stand by that this will work

Either that or say it was gay porn, that its really affected you and you cant sleep. Again ask ur mum to go to the gp with you to get something for your nerves and sleeping.

r3nu4l

OP, this is extermely bad form on his part, unfortunately having shared with loads of people in college I can say it's not uncommon! There are a lot of ignorant slobs out there!

1. Password protect your PC, if he wants to use it, tell him you'll switch on and log in for him, don't give the password to anyone! If anyone complains say you are worried about spyware as someone has been visiting dodgy websites on your PC. Leave it at that.

2. If you pay for the food and beer then he should replace it, make note of what you have and when it's missing ask in front of your parents "Has anyone eaten my pizza/been drinking my beer?" Then ask him to replace it and say what type of food/beer it was. Tell him when you want it replaced. If it isn't replaced by then ask him for the money, again in front of your parents.

These are the main issues I see. The belching, remote grabbing and kettle boiling, while annoying and ignorant are not exactly the worst habits in the world.

Just keep reminding him every time he doesn't pay up. Setting this thread as your homepage is a great idea Also having a white background desktopwith the words "Please refrain from browsing [insert dodgy site name here]!" would be a nice touch.

LegacyUser

Yea Im gonna Password protect the PC, because Im fed up of cleaning it down after he has been on it.

I think what led me to starting this thread was, when I came home from work yesterday evening I bought a couple of things in the supermarket on the way home. I went in for a shower when I got home and when I got out, lo & behold here he was digging in to a Pot Noodle that I had just bought.

I swear, if I bought a bag of horse manure, he'd put it between 2 slices of bread.

Velvet Vocals

I went in for a shower when I got home and when I got out, lo & behold here he was digging in to a Pot Noodle that I had just bought.

Oh my God!:eek: I'm actually pissed off with him for you!!! Did you say anything when you saw him eating it? You should have said "WHAT THE FU*K!!!!"
He's actually winding me up now.... god help him if he lived with me!!

*takes deep breath*... right... I'm calming down now

PS... Pot noodle.......he did you a favor:)

6th

He's pissing me off too.

Take the fcuker down!

PM me you want any help or suggestions - my other suggestion still stands but i have plenty more but dont want to give too much away. Also i dont want people thinking i'm nasty

Nevyn

Take a deep breath the lot of you and count to 100.

This is not just a case of a loathsome housemate, this person may eventually marry the op and become a member of the family and co mingle thier dna and produce offspring with the ops sibling.

What are the chances that certain actions may loose the op thier relationship with the sibling and/or damnage the relationship with the sibling and the parents so that the poor girl could be stuck with that cretin with out the backup and support of her family.

OP start standing your ground, have a talk about house rules with your parents raise your complaints in a civil fashion if you have to get a roll of white stickers and label what ever you buy but all out war with him and by extension your sibling may cost you more then you can imagine.

Nevyn

6th, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

vorbis

I don't get why some people suggest that the OP should appease this slob. Gil_Dub I'm frankly astonished that someone would react to someone robbing their stuff in that fashion. Personally I would have it out with him. if I saw my roommate eating some food I'd just bought I'd hit the roof. Thankfully they don't and if I took their beer and never bought decent stuff, I would expect them to hit the roof too.

BeardyGit

vorbis wrote:

I don't get why some people suggest that the OP should appease this slob. Gil_Dub I'm frankly astonished that someone would react to someone robbing their stuff in that fashion. Personally I would have it out with him. if I saw my roommate eating some food I'd just bought I'd hit the roof. Thankfully they don't and if I took their beer and never bought decent stuff, I would expect them to hit the roof too.

Hey, don't take issue with me. If anything, look at the general concensus that's being reached about this guy without anything to really provide balance and perspective. Everyone here has just one side to this story and while a reasonably convincing argument is put forward by the OP, the other person involved here is blissfully unaware that he's being discussed with a load of strangers and nobody to even attempt to represent him.

Like with everything any of us do in life, we'll make a better choice once we're informed, and if that's simply not possible, the least we should do is try to put ourselves in the other persons shoes. My personal values and good manners would prevent me from behaving in the way this young man has been described. However, many simply haven't had the benefit of a 'decent upbringing' and while that's not an excuse, it is certainly an explanation for some peoples behaviour. I don't expect anyone to excuse him but they should certainly be prepared to consider he may not have the ability to meet someone elses expectations regarding his behaviour.

OP, Not for a minute would I suggest you become a doormat - But you need to understand that he may not be capable of understanding how upsetting this is to you. Let him know and if he really is a nice guy as you mentioned, perhaps he will repeat the effort he made when you mentioned it before. Tell him that he's to ask before taking beer and if he thinks something in the fridge or freezer belongs to you he must ask before eating it...Point out that you're a student and even though you're living at home you don't have cash to spend on him. Point out to him that you can hardly ask your folks for money either as they're already covering him and your sister, on top of their mortgage, your expenses etc etc. Help him understand that when he takes something, it's not just taking something - That you or your folks have to pay for it. That should put it in terms that he'll understand if he's saving every last cent for the house - He'll know what it's like to be broke and might just appreciate your position a little more. If it's your PC, password protect it as suggested - That's your own fault to be honest. But if it's in the sitting-room or hallway, and was paid for by your folks, mention it to them first. And for anything else like the kettle boiling complaint, leave it be. You don't pay the bills so it's not your business......

This is simple stuff really....Don't overcomplicate it or pay any attention to other childish suggestions of retribution - You're most certainly better than that.

Gil

Brend

Your 27....What are you doing living at home in the first place, you sould have been out of there like 8-9 years ago. No sympathy!

LegacyUser

Thought it was my brother for a second, but hes much older, I know where your coming from and im a guy.

LegacyUser

Im not looking for sympathy Brend!

I dunno how it works in your home, but in mine there is no certain age that you have to be to move out. With the rising cost of houses, its not uncommon for people my age or older to be still living at home.

I was living out of home for a couple of years, but I went back to college so I moved home. Therefore moving out again is not an option.

This person is a guest in our house and should behave as a guest would. Why should I move out?

Velvet Vocals

Brend wrote:

Your 27....What are you doing living at home in the first place, you sould have been out of there like 8-9 years ago. No sympathy!

That's a much isn't it! She's a student! Lots of people stay home longer these days because moving out is so expensive! But regarless... that isn't the issue. She could be having the same problem with a flat/house mate if she had moved out. The issue is repect and she clearly isn't getting any from this guy:rolleyes:

SimpleSam06

I have a case like that before and you know what my sister dumped him soon after their first baby learned how to walk ..

Tell your sister how you feel..This guy must know he doesnt have manners at all..he's feeling too comfortable huh

Chucky the tree

I think the reason people gave you a hard time for the post is becuase of the petty and childish problems you included in your rant.

If you just said you where pissed off with him eating your food/ drink and using your PC everyone wouldo f agreed with you and felt it was out of order.

Instead you decided to act completely irrelevant points included here:

Raging wrote:

If anyone is watching a program on tv and the ad breaks come on, he will grab the remote and turn on the soccer until the ads are over.

He grunts at my sister every now and again to make him a cup of tea.(Bigger eejit she is).

At the weekends he does not move from the sofa.

This one really drives me nuts: He fills the kettle (now I mean nearly to the top) for a cup of tea, wanders off for about 10 minutes. Comes back. Boils it up again. Wanders off again. After boiling it maybe 4 times, he'll decide to actually make a cup of tea.

always late going to work (Always), the list goes on & on & on & on............................

?

He checks the footie scores during the add breaks? and you give out about it? oh dear. Are the adds really that important to you or something?

So what if he grunts at your sister for a cup of tea? If he doesnt do it to you i dont see how you can get invovled.

Again, whats the big deal? We all like to relax at the weekend.

He feels the kettle 4 times before making a cup of tea? wow, a regular adolf hitler isnt he? Is it your kettle? are you worried heat 4 times will break it? OR maybe the extra cost in electricity? I really dont understand the big deal with that one either.

Hes late for work? Are you his boss as well as his soon to be sister in law? Its none of your business if he is late or doesnt even bother turning up.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Chucky the tree wrote:

I think the reason people gave you a hard time for the post is becuase of the petty and childish problems you included in your rant.

If you just said you where pissed off with him eating your food/ drink and using your PC everyone wouldo f agreed with you and felt it was out of order.

Instead you decided to act completely irrelevant points included here:



He checks the footie scores during the add breaks? and you give out about it? oh dear. Are the adds really that important to you or something?

So what if he grunts at your sister for a cup of tea? If he doesnt do it to you i dont see how you can get invovled.

Again, whats the big deal? We all like to relax at the weekend.

He feels the kettle 4 times before making a cup of tea? wow, a regular adolf hitler isnt he? Is it your kettle? are you worried heat 4 times will break it? OR maybe the extra cost in electricity? I really dont understand the big deal with that one either.

Hes late for work? Are you his boss as well as his soon to be sister in law? Its none of your business if he is late or doesnt even bother turning up.

You the boyfriend...?

fatherdougalmag

I get the impression that this is the OP's younger sister and, as such, there is an inherent sibling protection thing going on. The OP should highlight these things with his sister and project things forward should things get serious between them.

BrenC

I'd tell him to stop drinking my beer for sure, tell him he has to ask first.

Victor

Put a mini-fridge in your bedroom for your beer.

SingingCherry

OP, all of these things would drive me crazy but I would say them all to him until I was blue in the face and he actually started to listen.

Put a password on the computer, and tell him in front of your parents and your sister to stop looking at porn on your comp because you find it disgusting. Maybe that will embarass him into stopping!

As for the beer and food, when he take it ask him to please restock with the same things that you had in there.

What I don't get is how your parents put up with this in their house? If mine saw my sister's boyfriend being this inconsiderate while living in their home, they would put a quick end to it or he would be out. Have you talked to them?