Grounded because I don't believe in God.

deltablaze

Ok guys, this is the situation, yesterday I didn't go to mass, nor the week before, because I don't believe in God. I'm 14 years old and they ground me - because of that reason, because I don't go to mass because I don't believe in God. I really think it's a harsh decision made as it's not going to make me gain belief for God or anything.
Opinions? Am I in the wrong here? Is it fair that I am grounded over this?

Faith

How did they know that you didn't go to mass? Did you just refuse to go, or pretend to go and go somewhere else instead? As unfair as it is, it is your parents house and you live under their rule. If they say you have to go to mass, then they probably mean it, especially if they grounded you. They obviously really want you to go.

At the end of the day, it's only 1 hour a week. Even if you don't believe in God, you may as well go to humour them. Surely that's easier than living with the tension that would be a result of you not going.

takola

No of course it isnt fair!!! But at the end of the day as faith said, you are living with under your parents rule, and it is only an hour a week.

Just go to make them happy, theres nothing else you can do about it..

deltablaze

I just refused to go. I know I live under their rule but I'm almost 15 now. I would understand if I was at a young age and they were only trying to introduce me to the religion but for crying out loud I've been going for my whole 14 years, and they don't respect that I don't believe in God at all.

KTRIC

Bring an MP3 player with you and sit down the back.

Faith

Well, just refusing to go is a sign of immaturity and no wonder they responded by grounding you. If you want to show them that you're mature and capable of making your own decision, then sit them down and calmly and rationally explain exactly why you don't believe in God, and why you don't think that going to mass is benefiting you in any way. If you can't do this, then just go to mass. If you can do this, still be prepared for them to not care... This is Ireland after all, religion still has a stronghold on society.

kittenkiller

It's not fair at all & you're right you are almost an adult & able to think for yourself, but almost is the key word here.
Take the grounding, go to mass, you don't have to like it or pay attention or even believe in God. But you do have to go along with what your parents are say & in a case like this, an hour a week isn't that much to keep things peaceful.
Talk to them about it & if you find that you can't talk rationally about it then you're not grown up enough to argue with them.

deltablaze

K-TRIC wrote:

Bring an MP3 player with you and sit down the back.

Thats not a bad idea...I'll go but I just won't pay any god damn attention!

deltablaze

Faith wrote:

Well, just refusing to go is a sign of immaturity and no wonder they responded by grounding you. If you want to show them that you're mature and capable of making your own decision, then sit them down and calmly and rationally explain exactly why you don't believe in God, and why you don't think that going to mass is benefiting you in any way. If you can't do this, then just go to mass. If you can do this, still be prepared for them to not care... This is Ireland after all, religion still has a stronghold on society.

No, I did sit down and talk with them for an hour TWICE! Now I'm just refusing to go because they don't listen to me.

Crucifix

Try talking to them rationally. Explain that grounding you because you don't believe in God isn't going to make anything better, and that you should be free to make your own religious decisions. If that doesn't get you anywhere at all, then you're probably best to just play along with the whole religion thing til you're older.
Personally I had to debate with my parents a lot about religious stuff.

deltablaze

Crucifix wrote:

Try talking to them rationally. Explain that grounding you because you don't believe in God isn't going to make anything better, and that you should be free to make your own religious decisions. If that doesn't get you anywhere at all, then you're probably best to just play along with the whole religion thing til you're older.
Personally I had to debate with my parents a lot about religious stuff.

Yeah, but the thing is, I talked about it with them for ages but they just keep shoving it on me. I tried again talking about it today but my mum said 'It's not up for discussion'.

Untense

Did your parents give you any reason as to why you should have to go? Do they go with you or do you go alone?

And when you decided you no longer didn't want to go to church, did you discuss it with your parents or did you flare up and slam doors?

Beruthiel

deltablaze wrote:

'It's not up for discussion'.

then it's not up for discussion.
I had to put up with the same crap, I'm afraid while you are under your parents roof you abide by their rules. As said already, it's an hour out of your week, just go. It's pointless, but if it keeps them happy... and you're not grounded for it then it's all good.

deltablaze

Untense wrote:

Did your parents give you any reason as to why you should have to go? Do they go with you or do you go alone?

And when you decided you no longer didn't want to go to church, did you discuss it with your parents or did you flare up and slam doors?

I discussed it with my parents, but got absolutely nowhere. The reason I have to go is 'because I have to go', and my parents go with me.
However, what peeves me off is about two years ago when my dad owned a restaurant he stopped going to mass, for 2 years, because he was too tired. But if its so important, how come exceptions could be made for him?
I'm tired working torwards the Junior Cert..

deltablaze

Beruthiel wrote:

then it's not up for discussion.
I had to put up with the same crap, I'm afraid while you are under your parents roof you abide by their rules. As said already, it's an hour out of your week, just go. It's pointless, but if it keeps them happy... and you're not grounded for it then it's all good.

I know but it just ticks me off the way other teenagers my age don't have to go, and/or other teenagers have the choice. It makes me laugh the way they can't think of a reason to make me, they just say I 'have to go'.
I think it's very extreme grounding me anyway, thanks for the help so far guys.

Beruthiel

deltablaze wrote:

what peeves me off is about two years ago when my dad owned a restaurant he stopped going to mass, for 2 years, because he was too tired. But if its so important, how come exceptions could be made for him? ..

because your father is an adult and has earned the right to do as he pleases. When you become an adult, you can do the same.
Your parents are responsible for your welfare and they have decided this is part of it, try to respect that fact, even if you don't agree with it.
The time will come when you can decide for yourself.

p.pete

request to go to a different church...

Sony

As everyone keeps saying-its only an hour a week-just go for the time being, this is a ridiculous thing to be arguing with your parents about for so long...

If they want you to go as they clearly do-go to humour them-you wont have to do it forever ,I was made go when I was your age aswell

I have the feeling this isnt just about you "not believeing in god"

Beruthiel

deltablaze wrote:

I know but it just ticks me off the way other teenagers my age don't have to go, and/or other teenagers have the choice..

once or twice my daughter gave me that reason, I used to tell her she was welcome to move in with her friends parents whenever she wished

deltablaze

Sony wrote:

As everyone keeps saying-its only an hour a week-just go for the time being, this is a ridiculous thing to be arguing with your parents about for so long...

If they want you to go as they clearly do-go to humour them-you wont have to do it forever ,I was made go when I was your age aswell

I have the feeling this isnt just about you "not believeing in god"

You're right - it's not just that I don't believe in god and not care about the church but that they won't let me make any decisions to my life.
Oh well, I may as well just ****ing go, but as far as I can see it's just a huge waste of my time.

Sony

deltablaze wrote:

I discussed it with my parents, but got absolutely nowhere. The reason I have to go is 'because I have to go', and my parents go with me.
However, what peeves me off is about two years ago when my dad owned a restaurant he stopped going to mass, for 2 years, because he was too tired. But if its so important, how come exceptions could be made for him?
I'm tired working torwards the Junior Cert..

And also when youre older and start working fuill time(never mind running a restaurant) youll realise that comparing the two of these is ridiculous:rolleyes:

Untense

I would have to agree with you, it is very unfair how they're treating you. But as you say, if they can't even think of a good reason for you to go it sounds more like a struggle for power over their adolescent kid.

I'd suggest you just grin and bare it. Your parents are wrong, but is it worth the hassle?

Blub2k4

Tell them you've changed your mind, you hadn't realised up until now how important religion is in life and you really want to worship every sunday now, and ask them if they can drive you to the Hare Krishna temple on their way to church............ :P

Sony

come on man theyre not just making you go to piss you off , bite the bullet and go ... therell come a time when you can stand your ground on this if you want I just dont think its yet--parents are parents,everyones can be a pain in the ass sometimes but keeping them happy is in your best interests mate:D

deltablaze

Blub2k4 wrote:

Tell them you've changed your mind, you hadn't realised up until now how important religion is in life and you really want to worship every sunday now, and ask them if they can drive you to the Hare Krishna temple on their way to church............ :P

LMAO! Haha, yeah, I could play it that way and just turn the religious tables all over them. But for the meantime, I think I'll just 'grin and bare it' and Utense said

deltablaze

Sony wrote:

come on man theyre not just making you go to piss you off , bite the bullet and go ... therell come a time when you can stand your ground on this if you want I just dont think its yet--parents are parents,everyones can be a pain in the ass sometimes but keeping them happy is in your best interests mate:D

True.

Blub2k4

deltablaze wrote:

Ai that's true, they enjoy themselves now....but they're the ones who'll roast in hell for all eternity

deltablaze

Blub2k4 wrote:

Ai that's true, they enjoy themselves now....but they're the ones who'll roast in hell for all eternity

Lmao, but I don't want that to happen - they're my friends!
...Or do I... :P

LegacyUser

deltablaze wrote:

Ok guys, this is the situation, yesterday I didn't go to mass, nor the week before, because I don't believe in God. I'm 14 years old and they ground me - because of that reason, because I don't go to mass because I don't believe in God. I really think it's a harsh decision made as it's not going to make me gain belief for God or anything.
Opinions? Am I in the wrong here? Is it fair that I am grounded over this?

You are 14 years old and developing your own opinions. You will over the next few years find that a lot of what you think will change and not all of it (if any) will please your parental units.

The best thing you can learn now is that your parents are a brick wall. And you will either keep running into it... or you can be clever and find away around said wall.

your parents do have every right to ground you on the basis that your are not obeying their requests. Regardless of the issue and the rights and wrongs of said issues. They are your guardians and it is them providing you with clothes... food etc etc. (You will hear that a lot in the future, if not already)

I think most of us decided at some stage that Mass was a pain in the bollix and the whole God thing was somewhat suspect. Personaly when my brother got his license .... we just went to a different mass. Which involved getting the papers and reading them out by a lake. The whole "we are not going" thing didn't work for us either no matter how well we debated our point of view.

Your parents are only trying to do what they think is best. I doubt they, like most other parents were given the ever elusive "best parenting guide". They are winging it in other words. Doing what they think is best for you. Sadly that insight or understanding, much like your new founded belief in God, only hits you in your early twenties...or later.

What you can do is state your belief or lack of it, in God..the church or what ever but agree to attend Mass to keep them happy. They will not be p1ssed off at you and somewhere down the line you can use your going to mass as a tactical advantage to getting to go to some disco or something.

Best of luck.

PS I kept running into the brick wall... I was an agnstly little bollix back in the day Possibly with mental issues. Which I still have

kittenkiller

It's an hour a week.
Get over it!
If the sunday morning thing is a drag, suggest saturday evening instead.

deltablaze

No mornings actually better because I'd usually be out saturday evening.

thanks for helping guys, looks like I'll just have to go and convince them along the path of my life till im 18.