Goodbye to 5000 euro

daiixi

FiveK wrote:

This doesn't make any of it ok mind, she kept playing the "I'm the mother card" (i.e. you can't be giving out to me), and you earn twice what I do. Ultimately as someone pointed out there is a level of emotional blackmail, I end up playing the brigand and she ends up taking umbridge. She is completely adament that she'll pay it back, I'll just have to bit the bullet, pay it and hope for the best.

Thanks again for the advice.

I don't understand why you've come on here, asked for advise then decided not to take it?

My parents taught me to be responsible with money and responsible for myself. It seems you've been taught this (sticking at your job to save up to start up your business) but because you've been helping your mam out she's stopped taking responsibility for herself. Personally, I'd find this unacceptable and tell my mam to get out of debt herself.
I've never asked my folx for money and would do anything *anything* to ensure that I never have to. In fact, I'd be completely, totally, 100% ashamed that at my age (mid twenties) I'd have to ask my folx for money.
If you pay off this debt for her she'll find herself in debt, probably much more, again in a years time. If it was you and you were in debt she'd probably make you sort it out yourself - tell you to live within your means. I know mine would.
But at the end of the day it's your life - if you want to spend it bailing out your mam, well that's your choice.

the_syco

esel wrote:

Read the OP's reply above again. His mother does work full-time.

My bad:o

=-=

But hey, she's spent every cent she has, and still keeps on spending. She needs professional conselling, tbh, about her money.

jhegarty

You can still give her the money but in a differnt fashion. Cut up the card. Setup up a direct debit to pay a decent ammount on the card each month , and tell her it gets cancelled if she gets another card...

turbot

I suggest:

Strategize with her to deal with the debt itself; i.e. tell her 5k is a big deal for your cashflow, though it would be easier to pay off 500 a month on a 12 month loan.

Tell her that you'll do this on the condition that she reads 5 books on how to be better with money, like Rich Dad Poor Dad.

I think you need to do this to set a precedent of her being wise, otherwise if you just pay this time, it could get worse.

Also, unless you're clever in what you spend and how, money doesn't go as far as it used to in Ireland. It sounds like she works hard...

nodger

FiveK wrote:

My mother decides to ask me to loan her some money to pay off here credit-card. Can you imagine how my face dropped when she told me it was 5 grand.

Apologies, I didn't have time to read all 30+ replies to your post. From personal experience, I can tell you that the bank that issued her card would probably have no problem giving her a loan of €5,000 to clear the credit card debt. The interest rate would be significantly lower, and the term of loan could possibly be pushed out to 18 months.

If she's adamant that she's planning to pay you back, then she should have no qualms about entering a similar arrangement with the bank. At a rough guess, I'd estimate repayments of about €300 per month over 18 months. Her credit rating would be intact and you wouldn't be €5,000 in the hole.

Obviously it's difficult for you to refuse lending her the money, but she's got a problem with overspending and she needs to be shown how to live within her means. You could even meet her half way and offer to pay half of her monthly repayments to the bank.

n.