staying with a girl, toilet etiquette

hshortt

If it's yellow let it mellow,
If it's brown flush it down!

From - Meet the Fockers.

missingtime

If you put some shampoo or shower gel in just as you are flushing it'l mask the smell somewhat.

bounty_hunter

missingtime wrote:

If you put some shampoo or shower gel in just as you are flushing it'l mask the smell somewhat.

Surely that would cause suspicious bubbles?

missingtime

Ahh but you see if there is some blockage - the bubbles will cover for a short time. Plus if you leave the seat down she wont look into the bowl.
Mission acomplished

bounty_hunter

missingtime wrote:

Ahh but you see if there is some blockage - the bubbles will cover for a short time. Plus if you leave the seat down she wont look into the bowl.
Mission acomplished

I would consider a man leaving the seat down suspicious enough on its own tbh

To keep on topic: OP, don't worry about it. Everybody does it. It might be slightly awkward for a minute or two if you're not very familiar with this girl, but she'll think nothing of it.

spacetweek

etiquette wrote:

Gonna be a hotel for a few nights, never really been in this situation, how exactly does this work, i wouldnt want her to go in after ive used it.

TBH i've been in this situation loads of times and it has never occurred to me before that the toilet thing might even be an issue. Should I be worried???

meowCat

Totally stupid question now, but what's the story with the match or the lighter? Does it really help with the smell?

bounty_hunter

meowCat wrote:

Totally stupid question now, but what's the story with the match or the lighter? Does it really help with the smell?

I'm guessing the carbon absorbs the smell.

Selik

Or you could just make sure you have a dump that day shortly before you head out or whatever.... sorted. Unless you get the runs that is.:eek:

bug

I imagine its a new relationship in which case I'd say if you're so mad about each other then it won't matter.
Rose coloured glass and all that.

But after my brother uses the jax I spray it with dettol spray. Its the only thing that makes it stop smelling like the dog died three years ago under the floor boards.

Caryatnid

seamus wrote:

Just close the door, don't laugh if you fart loudly (try spreading your cheeks if it's worrying you that much),

Spreading your cheeks stops you from laughing? Must try that one some time.

simu

What a mad thread!

OP, is there something seriously wrong with your bowels or is this some sort of phobia of yours or what?

Well, on a practical note (ding!), go to the toilet soon enough after her each time to avoid her having to go straight after you.

Dirk Gently

Cough when you plop to disguise the sound of your superhuman mars bar hitting the water. Spray lynx in the room before you leave. As for the toilet seat, when will women ever think about mens needs. Seat should always be left up when you leave. Why should men do all the work with the seat. A little consideration from the women folk. It’s all me, me, me with women. What about my needs. What about mens needs I ask. An upright toilet seat will make a man appreciate his girlfriend more. Scientific fact!

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Dirk Gently

Solitaryman666 wrote:

This post has been deleted.

very true, this is indeed the highest stage of a relationship. True love.

stovelid

i think methane is supposed to be flammable. Im sure the match to clear the smell ploy is apocryphal though

meowCat wrote:

Totally stupid question now, but what's the story with the match or the lighter? Does it really help with the smell?

stovelid

use the safe and "forget" the combination..sorted..

etiquette wrote:

Gonna be a hotel for a few nights, never really been in this situation, how exactly does this work, i wouldnt want her to go in after ive used it.

muppetkiller

Haha this is a funny thread it reminded me of something in a relationship I had. She'd always "allow" me one big fart a week. lol

I being the romantic I am would always ensure I saved up the best for her...and with prior warning would let it go ...9/10 she'd cry laughin ..
thats definitley when you know you're in love

As for going the loo my experience is women are far worse in there than men (I should know I've worked as a barman for 6 years.) we may miss and hit the seat but how can you miss the toilet at point blank range

Fajitas!

Actually, you're staying at a hotel right? Well, if it really is that much of a deal, you could use the toilets in the hotels lobby, assuming they have them.

meowCat

meowCat wrote:

Totally stupid question now, but what's the story with the match or the lighter? Does it really help with the smell?

I've actually tried that, and to be perfectly honest.. I don't notice much difference. It just adds the smell of smoke really ..

Just do small things; wipe the toilet seat, put it down, and if need be.. bring a can of deodourant into it with you. If you're going to leave a smell, you might as well cover it up with a stronger one until they both go. Also, you can say that you were spraying deodourant in the toilet as you don't want to make the room all smelly.

Fanny Cradock

book a second room just for taking a dump in the toilet. she need never know!