Am i right to be mad?

pepper

Ok basically Its a friends birthday on 22nd April- He has big plans for it- we will all go for a meal and drinking in the most expensive restaurant in town.

He didnt drop this plan on us till today- It would cost about 120 each not including the gift and the fact wed be buying him drinks all night.Now my hours have been cut in work latley and im lucky if i come out with 180 a week so i told him theres no way i could afford it- and he said "no prob" and was lovely about it.

Then this evening I got a text from my ex(whos his best mate) asking why i wasnt going- so i explained it all and he went CRAZY.. This was his exact message

"You selfish cow- you pay 500 a month in ur place which is NOTHING, the only bills you have is the esb and internet and telly- i pay 850 a month in my place and i have more bills than you and i can still afford to go out for his birthday- your just being selfish"

Now bear in mind this guy brings home 450 a week

Am i right to be mad at him for that rant because i think it was also a dig that" he makes more money than me"

I txt him back and ate him and told him to piss off and shove his money up his ass- and he text me back sayn" why u mad- ur the one being stingy"

Am i right to me mad?

kaimera

yes, ignorant friend really.

Fajitas!

Yup, he dosn't sound the most understanding at all.

Hugh Hefner

What an ass of a guy! Be angry all you like.

Smurfpiss

complete twat. called you a selfish cow. wow...way to go and entice you to come.

BeardyGit

I'm not usually one to suggest this sort of thing but if I were you I'd consider forwarding that text message to the birthday boy. That'll sort it. Who needs friends like that? Why would you bother having anything to do with someone who tries making you feel bad about yourself?

He's being a right brat from the look of things and deserves a little bitch slap.

Gil

Silverfish

I had a similar situation before.

I replied stating what I earned. Then I pointed out all my expenses, and the cost of each, and the remaining balance. Then I asked them where the hell they would like me to find the money from, and what I was to eat for the rest of the month.

That shut them up. Don't feel bad, and don't accept that behaviour from anyone. That's ridiculous.

Asok

Yep the guy is an ignorant twat.

simu

He's a muppet tbh. How you spend your money is up to you.

Esel

Ex is a twat. Birthday 'friend' is a prat.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Dunno about your friend the birthday boy, but the mate is being seriously selfish here. He's thinking about what HE wants and not what YOU want.

Advice? Take the birthday boy aside and tell him exactly hwo you feel and apologise for not being able to make it, and buy a decent gift. A card with a 'beer token' stuck to a fiver always helps (so you're with him in spirit!).

And cut all communication with selfish gobssite.

Added:
Just doing the maths here: 750 a month.... less 500 rent... less a good 175 for the party another 50 or so for the bills...? That's unfeasble!

pepper

Ikky Poo2 wrote:

Dunno about your friend the birthday boy, but the mate is being seriously selfish here. He's thinking about what HE wants and not what YOU want.

Advice? Take the birthday boy aside and tell him exactly hwo you feel and apologise for not being able to make it, and buy a decent gift. A card with a 'beer token' stuck to a fiver always helps (so you're with him in spirit!).

And cut all communication with selfish gobssite.

Added:
Just doing the maths here: 750 a month.... less 500 rent... less a good 175 for the party another 50 or so for the bills...? That's unfeasble!

Well i do have 700 in the bank-for emergencies ONLY- but i REFUSE to take some of it out for a party- besides with my hours being cut ill prob need that 700 soon

homah_7ft

You are so right to be mad with him Pepper. My blood would be boiling.

Nickibaby*

Your dead right to be mad at him ignorant or what. It's none of his bloody business how much you make or what you decide to spend it on, how rude.

Just count your blessings that he is an 'ex' you made a wise choice getting away from him

dudara

Yes you are. He's being short-sighted and petty. Simply explain to him that you earn roughly one third what he does.

Beruthiel

pepper wrote:

"You selfish cow- you pay 500 a month in ur place which is NOTHING, the only bills you have is the esb and internet and telly- i pay 850 a month in my place and i have more bills than you and i can still afford to go out for his birthday- your just being selfish"

:eek:
I cannot print what I'd say to anyone who said that to me

chump

He sounds like an awful JERK to me.
I'd say tell that JERK where to stick it.

& I wouldn't even attempt to explain myself or my reasonings to a reply like that - just tell him to shove it

Talliesin

Be more selective in your friends.

CathyMoran

I think that he is being totally unreasonable, he has no right to query your financial affairs in such a mocking way. I also feel that the birthday boy should have paid for your meal, but that is just me, when my best friend was a student doctor I insisted on paying for him when he went out for birthday dinners with us, he now will not let me pay for a thing now that he is qualified but that is another matter. The point is, swings and round-abouts.

I'd also suggest forwarding the message to the birthday boy, and maybe texting the idiot friend your income and expenses.

Get a nice pressie and card if you can and leave it at that.

Oh and yes, you're fine to be mad, the guy was being unreasonable. Sort it out though - don't dwell on it!

LundiMardi

Yeah he sounds like an asshole..

But regarding your friends birthday, ''i can't afford it'' is not really and excuse to go out with your friends.

Just because you go to a resturant doesn't mean you have to order the lobster, just because you go out on your friends birthday doesn't mean you have to buy him/her drinks all night, i'm sure he/she would rather you be there then have freebees thrown at him by you!

So the that excuse is kind of lame in all fairness.

justsomebloke

ye you friend is just being a w@nker, nobody has the right to say what you should be spending your money on. I am gathering the fact that they are an ex already means you aren't that pushed about them anymore.
That and the birthday boy sounds like a bit of a prat aswell if he decides to go somewhere quite expensive for his birthday without thinking of others and if they could afford it or not. So i wouldn't be to bother as both of them a bit like selfish pr1cks

ferdi

the guy is a bellend, ignore him.

justsomebloke

LundiMardi wrote:

But regarding your friends birthday, ''i can't afford it'' is not really and excuse to go out with your friends.

i disagree on this as most people now at things like this just split the bill so you don't just pay for what you have eaten and so you end up paying part for the person who did eat lobster and had 2 bottles of wine by themselves and you end up paying around 150% of the price of what you eat as you where trying to save money

BeardyGit

Okay then - Here's a suggestion for you.....

Tell them you'll skip the dinner and meet them for a drink afterwards.

Means you're there for your friends birthday without having to deal with other peoples extravagance over dinner.

Gil

Lindaloo

The birthday boy didn't have a problem, it's your ex who has the problem and when it boils down to it, it's more than likely just a chance to dig at you and is nothing to do with the night out. He sounds like a tit that's best avoided, once the person in question understands who gives a crap what this idiot thinks.

Agree with Gil, meet up with them for a drink afterwards and you still were there to celebrate or else call to him with a few drinks and sit in and have a night with him

As for your ex, don't stress about him anymore, it's obvious that he has a major chip (and a big nose, the cheek of him sticking it in!)

Lindaloo

LundiMardi wrote:

Yeah he sounds like an asshole..

But regarding your friends birthday, ''i can't afford it'' is not really and excuse to go out with your friends.

Just because you go to a resturant doesn't mean you have to order the lobster, just because you go out on your friends birthday doesn't mean you have to buy him/her drinks all night, i'm sure he/she would rather you be there then have freebees thrown at him by you!

So the that excuse is kind of lame in all fairness.

I don't think that's very fair, I've had occasions where I have not literally been able to afford it, I may have had the cash but it was an extravagance I could do without.

For my birthday if someone told me they didn't have the cash to come out or buy me a present, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest because I know how things can be.

In situations like this the bill is split as someone has said, you can ask to pay on your own but sometimes you are made feel really mean or else it's forgotten and split anyway. Plus when you go for a meal, you've to chip in for the b'day person's meal too (and lately, there's been occasions where the flipping partner gets paid for in my circle!)

I don't understand they buying him drinks all night part though

LundiMardi

jsb wrote:

i disagree on this as most people now at things like this just split the bill so you don't just pay for what you have eaten and so you end up paying part for the person who did eat lobster and had 2 bottles of wine by themselves and you end up paying around 150% of the price of what you eat as you where trying to save money

Well unless you enjoy being a doormat for people to walk all over you, you don't do the above, you pay for yourself instead, it's quite simple really.

LegacyUser

LundiMardi wrote:

Well unless you enjoy being a doormat for people to walk all over you, you don't do the above, you pay for yourself instead, it's quite simple really.

You dont still live at home by any chance do you?

pepper

Beruthiel wrote:

:eek:
I cannot print what I'd say to anyone who said that to me

print away i dont mind

Victor McDade

dont go near your savings for a party...thats crazy