If I want a f****** newspaper I will take one

TheMonster

[Rant]
This has really gotten to me the last few weeks. Those bloody Metro and Herald AM sellers are becoming more and more agressive. They literally shove the paper in your face as you pass.(Theres one girl at Tara St that you actually have to walk around as she always steps in front of you) If I want one of them I know they are there and will put my hand out and take one. FFS At this stage I know what they are.
[/Rant]

Downtime

Try cycling - I am offered it at every set of lights - where the f##k am I going to put it?

Sgt. Politeness

I was only thinking the same this morning! I must walk past these two oafs at sydney parade every fecin morning for the last 6 months, and have i ever taken a paper? NO! So why the f*ck are you STILL offering them to me??

God!

Idiots!

Pighead

Downtime wrote:

Try cycling - I am offered it at every set of lights - where the f##k am I going to put it?

Down your pants, theres plenty of room down there.

The Monster if thats all you have to be ranting about then you're doing well. Personally Pighead welcomes the aggressive nature of the paper sellers. It gives him a chance to engage in social interaction where as normally everybody ignores me.

connundrum

I take a Herald AM at Westmorlan St cos at this stage I feel sorry for the guy there and he just looks so greatful every time I take one off him... but then when I get to Camden St there's a psycho bird who insists that one Herald AM simply isn't enough, and she follows me for about 5 steps trying to push another Herald into my hand.

Sooner or later I'm going to have to take the drastic step of rolling up her fcuking newspaper and smacking her on the bleedin nose with it.. twat :rolleyes:

shroomfox

Step 1: Take the paper.
Step 2: Promptly fling it to the ground. Observe the look of shock on the distributor's face.
Step 3: Repeat daily as necessary.

justsomebloke

shroomfox wrote:

Step 2: Promptly fling it to the ground. Observe the look of shock on the distributor's face.

Do you really think they care what you do with it once you take it, chances are that they won't even be looking at you long enough once you have taken it to see what you do with it

Töpher

Walking down the road this morning, reading a ****ing Metro, having 3 people in a line trying to shove another into your hands - even though they're holding the ****ing paper I was reading!

Pighead

shroomfox wrote:

Step 1: Take the paper.
Step 2: Promptly fling it to the ground. Observe the look of shock on the distributor's face.
Step 3: Repeat daily as necessary.

Alternatively
Step 1: Take the paper.
Step 2: Promptly read the newspaper. Observe the look of shock on your friends faces as you dazzle them with your new found knowledge of current affairs and horoscopes.
Step 3: Repeat daily as necessary.

What have you got against the knowledge shroomfox(3/10, minus marks for disliking reading)

shroomfox

Step 1: Take the newspaper.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit.

Alternatively, offer to take the whole stack off them. Then drop them into the recycling bin on your way to work. You'll be doing everybody a service, especially the environment!

connundrum

Distributor: Herald AM!
Me: No, I've got one (show her the one I have)
Distributor: Que?... Herald AM (she stands in front of me)
Me: Ahem, no. I have one (try to move past)
Distributor: <insert foreign language smartarse remark> Herald AM?! (leg trips me and holds me in headlock)
Me: AAAAHHHH I don't want a fcuking Herald AM you silly biatch!! :mad:
Distibutor: Hmmmm... Herald AM?
Me: Fine

I feel less of a man now.

s10

these morons only get to finish when they have distributed all papers they were given, then they go off to their other jobs.
Anyone know how much they get??
any where this paper is distributed from

Töpher

€250 a week IIRC was being offered to college students. For about 1, maybe 2, hours work 5 days a week. Not bad money really.

johnnyrotten

shroomfox wrote:

Step 1: Take the paper.
Step 2: Promptly fling it to the ground. Observe the look of shock on the distributor's face.
Step 3: Repeat daily as necessary.

STEP 4: Get €63 litter fine :rolleyes:

colincarnate

I always take one from the savage chick at trinity college, jet black hair and fake tan i think - always has skin tight pants on! .... come on it's 7:45 in the morning!

But do they get commission or something, what's with the exuberence? is it because they're not irish?

xzanti

Theres a girl who hands them out at the corner of Baggot Street (Lwr) beside Eddie Rockets... and shes the happiest, cheeriest looking person at 8am Iv ever seen... Id nearly take one off her just for her smile but I never get a chance cause the lights change too quickly.. Id love to know what shes having for her breakfast..

Pighead

xzanti wrote:

Theres a girl who hands them out at the corner of Baggot Street (Lwr) beside Eddie Rockets... and shes the happiest, cheeriest looking person at 8am Iv ever seen... Id nearly take one off her just for her smile but I never get a chance cause the lights change too quickly.. Id love to know what shes having for her breakfast..

What happens in Pigheads bedroom, stays in Pigheads bedroom.
But anyway its time for everybody to lay off the paper sellers. They do a sterling job and are a Godsend for many commuters about to head off into the peak time traffic jam hell in the evenings. Hurra for the paper sellers. Boo to the cranky boardsters.

Drax

Every morning coming up to the lights at Whitehall church I put my hand out and the same guy always rolls two papers up and hands them to me... Why is this? Is it in case I lose one copy I will have a backup? Or can he only leave once he has got rid of all his papers? Hmmmm

johnnyrotten

Most of these girls are Brazilian!

RE*AC*TOR

Distibutor: Please take this printed collection of advertisments, designed to make you buy things you don't need or want, with some lazy journalism and other garbage tacked-on.
Consumer: Yes, thank you. All hail consumerism. Where can I hand over my money?

Pighead

RE*AC*TOR wrote:

Distibutor: Please take this printed collection of advertisments, designed to make you buy things you don't need or want, with some lazy journalism and other garbage tacked-on.
Consumer: Yes, thank you. All hail consumerism. Where can I hand over my money?

Distibutor: Please take this printed collection of advertisments, designed to make you buy things you don't need or want, with some lazy journalism and other garbage tacked-on.
Consumer: Yes, thank you. All hail consumerism. Where can I hand over my money?
Distributor Eh you don't hand over any money dumbass, these papers are free.Sort yourself out man.:rolleyes:

RE*AC*TOR

Pighead wrote:

Distributor Eh you don't hand over any money dumbass, these papers are free.Sort yourself out man.:rolleyes:

free my arse.

Pighead

Distibutor: Please take this printed collection of advertisments, designed to make you buy things you don't need or want, with some lazy journalism and other garbage tacked-on.
Consumer: Yes, thank you. All hail consumerism. Where can I hand over my money?
Distributor Eh you don't hand over any money dumbass, these papers are free.Sort yourself out man
Consumer: Free my arse
Distributor: What the fcuk are you talking about ya spanner. You the consumer, have a choice to pick up one of these papers and I the distributor am not asking for any monies in return. That my friend means the paper is free. Costing nothing; gratuitous, FREE

RE*AC*TOR

Nothing in life is free. At best you are tainting your mind, by reading this horse****, pretending to be a newspaper. Furthermore, we the tax payer have to pay for the disposal/recycling of this crap, and we the inhabitants of this planet have to pay for the trees chopped down.

Heinrich

RE*AC*TOR wrote:

free my arse.

Judging from what is emanating from said orifice I would say your a*se is very free.

The distributors are just trying to earn a living.

"No thank you" is free for daily multiple use. so what is your beef?

connundrum

Distibutor: Please take this printed collection of advertisments, designed to make you buy things you don't need or want, with some lazy journalism and other garbage tacked-on.
Consumer: Yes, thank you. All hail consumerism. Where can I hand over my money?
Distributor Eh you don't hand over any money dumbass, these papers are free.Sort yourself out man
Consumer: Free my arse
Distributor: What the fcuk are you talking about ya spanner. You the consumer, have a choice to pick up one of these papers and I the distributor am not asking for any monies in return. That my friend means the paper is free. Costing nothing; gratuitous, FREE
Consumer: Ah, it all makes sense now...
Distributor: You have seen the wrong in your ways dear consumer. Please feel free to grace my palms with much silver, as I am the one who has brought you enlightenment.
Consumer: Sure, have you change of €50?
Distributer: Tee hee hee

RE*AC*TOR

Heinrich wrote:

Judging from what is emanating from said orifice I would say your a*se is very free.

The distributors are just trying to earn a living.

"No thank you" is free for daily multiple use. so what is your beef?

*FREE SWIMMINGPOOL*

Come enjoy a free session at a new pool in the Dublin Area. Relax and unwind in our 30 metre heated pool*

*Pool is filled with raw sewage.

Pighead

Distibutor: Please take this printed collection of advertisments, designed to make you buy things you don't need or want, with some lazy journalism and other garbage tacked-on.
Consumer: Yes, thank you. All hail consumerism. Where can I hand over my money?
Distributor Eh you don't hand over any money dumbass, these papers are free.Sort yourself out man
Consumer: Free my arse
Distributor: What the fcuk are you talking about ya spanner. You the consumer, have a choice to pick up one of these papers and I the distributor am not asking for any monies in return. That my friend means the paper is free. Costing nothing; gratuitous, FREE
Consumer:Nothing in life is free. At best you are tainting your mind, by reading this horse****, pretending to be a newspaper. Furthermore, we the tax payer have to pay for the disposal/recycling of this crap, and we the inhabitants of this planet have to pay for the trees chopped down.
Distributor: Ah get off your high horse sonny, tainting your mind indeed, I know for a fact you visit that well of mind tainting, After Hours, on a regular basis. And stop being so pedantic with your interpretation of the word FREE. If you rang up the Ray D'arcy Show and won free oxegen tickets tomorrow would you harp on about how "Well actually they weren't free as i paid for the phone call and it costs money to print and dispose of the tickets" .You know we're right Mr Consumer

Heinrich

[QUOTE=RE*AC*TOR

Come enjoy a free session at a new pool in the Dublin Area. Relax and unwind in our 30 metre heated pool*

Pool is filled with raw sewage[/QUOTE]

You must be doing a lot of swimming in that pool (see previous post)

RE*AC*TOR

To Pighead:
I stand by my interpretation of "free". These rags are more trouble disposing of than they have value. The Evening Herald is bad enough, imagine an even lazier version of it!

To Heinrich:
*clap* *clap*

ilovemybrick

colincarnate wrote:

I always take one from the savage chick at trinity college, jet black hair and fake tan i think - always has skin tight pants on! .... come on it's 7:45 in the morning!

But do they get commission or something, what's with the exuberence? is it because they're not irish?

some of us are irish. i do it at molly malone at the bottom of gratfton street. and the girl is italian and the fake tan isnt actually fake. also no commisioin its just easier to get rid of the papers if you are smiley, loud and keep asking people.

Einst&#252 wrote: »

€250 a week IIRC was being offered to college students. For about 1, maybe 2, hours work 5 days a week. Not bad money really.

its gone down. at the begining it was 50 a day but we were rostered from 6 until ten (although always finishing before then.) now its from 7 until half nine in the city centre and 6.45 until 9 in the suurban teams and the money is now 40 euro a day. its not fun in the cold and rain so be nice. although if theyre being rude just ignore them.
tbh its a job which pays well over minimum wage and is not very challenging. but its typical that it is mostly foreign students who are doing it, as a whole it seems they are willing to do things we the irish wont.
also in case you dont believe me come and have a chat im at molly malone every morning listening to my earphones and trying to be friendly.