Situation with lad

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,
Basically, a few months ago I saw a really good looking lad in a bar, he kept staring at me so I went up to him and started chatting to him, I really liked him and I invited him to a party at my mate's for a while, he took my number and he couldn't go but we arranged to meet at the bar the next night. Me and my mates couldn't get in to the bar the next night so we went somewhere else, I texted him and told him and he asked where I was now. I told him I was at my mate's, he fished for an invitation for a while and stopped texting me back when I didn't ask him round (I was so tired).
I've seen him out and about since and he keeps looking at me still but I just ignore him cos I think he's just after sex, am I right?

Nevyn

If he is attracted to you then yes he will want to have sex with you, eventually.
This does not mean that he doesn't want to get to know you and talk with you and have fun doing other things.
Only to find out is to spend some time with him, maybe not in a pub why not go for coffee and see if you can talk and make each other laugh and go from there.

The_Conductor

You arranged to meet up with him- and then didn't turn up.
He asked where you were- he probably thought that you'd gone somewhere else and that you might still be inviting him elsewhere.
Its possible that he is interested in sex, what red-blooded guy can honestly say its not somewhere at the back of his mind- but its equally possible that he genuinely likes you, was thrilled when you arranged to meetup with him, confused when you texted him telling him where you were, and then did not invite him along, and possibly hurt or confused- wondering did he do something or say something because you pulled out of meeting up with him.

Never assume anything- whoever said "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" was onto a goodthing. The slightest thing on the part of men and women can be magnified and totally misunderstood by the opposite sex.

At the end of the day- if you are still interested in him- go and talk to him. If you're not interested in him- well, you could at very least tell him that- and put him out of his misery......

LegacyUser

I really liked him, I'm just afraid to talk to him in case I get knocked back. What would I say to him??? I would've loved to invite him round but it was my mate's house, not mine, and it was so late, I was so tired and I would've felt really awkward sleeping on a couch beside a stranger. He looks at me a good bit on a night out and I saw him in college one day and he kept staring at me then as well. I just got on really well with him, he's exactly the type I usually go for.

justsomebloke

I have to say i would be more interested in what he thinks of you, to him it probably looks like you are blowing him off. I would have to say if i was him i'd think you were a right b1tch. Why don't you just go and talk to him and if it turns out that he is only looking for sex just say no and leave it at that( now being male i am sure he is looking for sex but it probably isn't the only thing on his mind). Also if you are that worried about men just wanting sex you may want to become a nun as generally they do, hell even the priests are at it.

AngryBadger

So let me get this straight....you blew some guy off....and now you're ignoring him....What's wrong with you? :mad:

Zombrex

abitconfused wrote:

I've seen him out and about since and he keeps looking at me still but I just ignore him cos I think he's just after sex, am I right?

What exactly are you asking here?

Firstly, you arranged to meet up for a date the following night but you dragged your mates along. What was that about? If you couldn't get into the bar you should have told him to come out to you and the two of you would have gone some where else.

Secondly, go on one date with the poor lad that you actually show up to before you decide he is "just after sex" ... at this point I would imagine he would settle for a 5 minute uninterupted chat with you without phones, bouncers or friends getting in the way

democrates

What Thaedydal said.
Insufficient data to make a determination, therefore seek more data, in a safe environment.
Risk v reward. Life is too short to spend wondering 'what if'.

chump

Men are always after sex. It's up to you how long you want to keep them waiting...

LegacyUser

ok so you didnt turn up for the first date, you didnt meet up with him again, and now you ignore him whenever you see him because you think hes after sex. If i were him id think you were a nutjob, just go talk to him!! sure you dont have to jump into bed straight away, some people do get further then ignoring without the sex, try it..

LundiMardi

abitconfused wrote:

Hi everyone,
Basically, a few months ago I saw a really good looking lad in a bar, he kept staring at me so I went up to him and started chatting to him, I really liked him and I invited him to a party at my mate's for a while, he took my number and he couldn't go but we arranged to meet at the bar the next night. Me and my mates couldn't get in to the bar the next night so we went somewhere else, I texted him and told him and he asked where I was now. I told him I was at my mate's, he fished for an invitation for a while and stopped texting me back when I didn't ask him round (I was so tired).
I've seen him out and about since and he keeps looking at me still but I just ignore him cos I think he's just after sex, am I right?

dear god! How old are you?

LegacyUser

Wicknight wrote:

Firstly, you arranged to meet up for a date the following night but you dragged your mates along. What was that about? If you couldn't get into the bar you should have told him to come out to you and the two of you would have gone some where else.

Secondly, go on one date with the poor lad that you actually show up to before you decide he is "just after sex" ... at this point I would imagine he would settle for a 5 minute uninterupted chat with you without phones, bouncers or friends getting in the way

It wasn't that I dragged my mates along, the first night he asked me if I'd be around tomorrow night and I said that myself and my mates were all coming out again the next night. But we couldn't get in so we headed somewhere else.

AngryBadger

I don't know what you expect from this guy tbh. You arranged to meet up, it didn't work out, then you DID blow him off, and now you're ignoring him.

When you started the first conversation you expected him to do all the running thereafter, fair enough, (stupid and all as I personally think that is), but then you blew him off, and made no effort to arrange anything else, and now you're just ignoring him.

I honestly don't know why you think anyone would bother with you if that's how you conduct yourself.

EDIT: GUEss I should give some advice vefore I get banned, text him, arrange something and don't welch on it. Don't assume that every guy is only after sex.

Zombrex

abitconfused wrote:

It wasn't that I dragged my mates along, the first night he asked me if I'd be around tomorrow night and I said that myself and my mates were all coming out again the next night. But we couldn't get in so we headed somewhere else.

Ok, so you didn't even have a date. You didn't even get to the point of actually meeting up properly.

So if I follow, you meet a guy in a bar, chatted to him a bit, told him you would be in the bar the next night. You didn't turn up, but told him you were going somewhere else and then didn't give him an invitation to meet you that night (you blew him off because you were tired). And that is, well that. Nothing else.

That is totally fair enough, I don't think you have done anything wrong. But I have to ask, why do you think he is only after sex? I can't see anything in what you have told us that would imply that at all.

TBH I'm really not following this .. as AB asked, what exactly did/do you expect this guy to do?

LegacyUser

I thought he was just after sex cos he kept fishing for an invitation to my friend's house in the small hours of the morning and when he didn't get one he stopped texting back and that was the last I heard from him, apart from the stares etc since.

LegacyUser

Should probably add that I would've liked it if he'd asked to make other arrangements on the second night. I would really like if he'd just come up to me and talk to me rather than just look. Especially since it was me that went up to him the first night.

LundiMardi

abitconfused wrote:

Should probably add that I would've liked it if he'd asked to make other arrangements on the second night. I would really like if he'd just come up to me and talk to me rather than just look. Especially since it was me that went up to him the first night.

i think you take things too seriously and need to lighten up.

AngryBadger

abitconfused wrote:

Should probably add that I would've liked it if he'd asked to make other arrangements on the second night. I would really like if he'd just come up to me and talk to me rather than just look. Especially since it was me that went up to him the first night.

Wy would he do that when you've cancelled/blown him off, and failed to offer alternatives twice already? AND now you're ignoring him? I fail to see how you can expect him to do anything, he's probably looking at you because he thought you were interested when you initiated a conversation, and now he doesn't know what the hell is going on.

Nevyn

Look you started to talk to him and then ignored him and now you expect him to approach you ?
Why ?
Look either ask him out for coffee or leave him alone.

40YardScreamer

Thaedydal wrote:

Look you started to talk to him and then ignored him and now you expect him to approach you ?
Why ?
Look either ask him out for coffee or leave him alone.

Actually, I think she owes him an apology, then to leave him alone

Zombrex

abitconfused wrote:

Should probably add that I would've liked it if he'd asked to make other arrangements on the second night. I would really like if he'd just come up to me and talk to me rather than just look. Especially since it was me that went up to him the first night.

He stopped asking for an invitation because you weren't giving him one, you obviously didn't want to meet up with him. That was the correct thing for him to do. The ball was then, and still is in, your court.

He tried to meet up with you the night you arranged to meet up and you blew him off. Fair enough. He took the hint and stopped texting you. He probably waited for you to get back to him to see if you were still interested. You didn't, so he didn't push it. He still sees you around and tries to make eye contact with you to see if anything is going to happen, but you ignore him so he leaves you alone.

Seriously, what more did you want him to do. I would forget about thinking he "only" wants sex. He might have been thinking about sex when he was texting you at the party, but then who doesn't think about sex when drunk at 2am. It doesn't mean he was only thinking about sex.

If it is months gone by I would probably leave it, but if you do like him the ball is (as I said) still in, and always has been in, your court. You can't expect him to make another move after you have blown him off twice already.

LegacyUser

Maybe I should give him a smile next time I see him... I'm such a wimp.

Nevyn

Look either ask him out or leave him alone and don't be sending mixed signals, don't string him along.

arbeitsscheuer

Yeah that sh*t really p*sses us off..

Look just talk to the guy, and be honest with him. He'll appreciate that, unless he's a total d*ck... and if he is, well, at least you'll finally know for sure, won't you?

LundiMardi

sweet mother of jesus! Are you 12 or something.. Every post so far does not exactly show the greatest intelligence. Do the guy a favour and leave him alone. Don't play games.

40YardScreamer

Thaedydal wrote:

Look either ask him out or leave him alone and don't be sending mixed signals, don't string him along.

Dont do that. He'll think you are a nutter. Which in fact you might just be.

Tobias Greeshman

What age are you? You seem to be very immature from your post. You blew him off for the 1st date, then wouldn't invite him over to your mate's place. Sure he was fishing for an invitation who wouldn't of been, but since you didn't give him one what's the poor guy to think? In all fairness he took it as a hint you weren't interested in him and left it be.

If you like him as much as you say you do, then chat to him next time in the bar and fix a date. Only this time actually stick to it and turn up, as someone already said the ball's in your court, so if you want him you're going to have to do something about it.

nobodythere

Sorry but the way the last line came out, it just came absolutely out of the blue!

I don't see the connection or how you came to that conclusion. Of course he wants to have sex with you, but that doesn't mean he won't want you for any other reason. You hardly picked to go up to a good looking guy because you think there's a connection with good looks->good personality. You want sex just as much as him probably.

Sounds to me tbh that he's getting mixed signals from you and is just gonna back off.

LegacyUser

OK i sent him a text last night, probably too late now anyways but thought it might be the decent thing to do.

omb0wyn5ehpij9

Did he reply to you?

LegacyUser

Yeah, I wrote back but nothing since.