Once apon a time...

gigglingrat

Ok. So, the point of this is...

Hmm. Let me rephrase that. Heres where one person starts the story...writes four-five lines...trails off...next person continues.

And that goes on until the story gets too explicit and the thread is locked

So...lemmie begin...

''I noticed that the dog was still following me. It was...''

mentalimplosion

..on fire...

emptyspoon

...and had a pink collar on which made it look slightly camp. I walked faster but it just wouldn't go away, so I came up with a cunning plan to get rid of it. I...

Barry Aldwell

...realised this was a complete rehash of a thread from last year. I can't find the thread, but here's a link to the full story: http://members.boards.ie/barryaldwell/ctyi_stupid_story.txt

The end

gigglingrat

But THEN I realised that boards is so boring now a rehashed thread is better then nothing at all, and i turned to the dog and...

Raphael

It bit my leg. The wound got infected, and they had to amputate

Tragically however, the doctor was drunk, and so he accidentaly amputated my head

The End

StupidLikeAFox

kicked it in the nuts. next thing this hairy snail came outta nowhere and said....

gigglingrat

''Bow before me, for I am your God.'' Unfortunately, my foot slipped, and...

It wasn't me!

<Insert your favourite squishing noise here>

PurpleFistMixer

...Suddenly, completely and utterly out of the blue and with no warning WHATSOEVER save for the increasingly long entrance to the sentence, a pedant ran haphazardly onto the thread, screaming "It's UPON, not APON!", and then ran off again... across the snail, for continuity...

Spraypaint

*Squish* I killed the snail and felt pretty pleased with myself until I turned around and saw.....

pinkpimp

A spanner getting bigger and bigger, heading towards me...

Raphael

It hit me squarely between the eyes, killing me instantly

THE END

PurpleFistMixer

.. and so I rose from the dead, like a killer undead zombie, with a hunger for BRAINS! And what better place to find them than the CTYI message board?

pinkpimp

primaryschools... nice and crispy ones when they're young.

PurpleFistMixer

The disembodied voice had a point!
So I, in my zombific stupor, dragged my rotting self to the nearest primary school, leaving a trail of flaky disgusting pieces of skin, rags and toenails in my wake... and some zombie goo...

pinkpimp

of which i gathered and kept in a jar for later when i would...

Shiney

stuff down my little brother's throat while i stood there laughing as he choked slowly when all of a sudden...

emptyspoon

..I grew an extra fourteen thumbs. A great urge to suck them all came over me. So dislocating my jaw, I stuffed them all in. But one was not a thumb! It was...

pinkpimp

A carrott. EEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH

Piste

A CARROT! 'Ehhhhhhhhhhh' It screamed as i chomped it to death. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a.......

pinkpimp

n irrelivant soup spoon...

Piste

So I made carrot soup with my other thumbs (which had magically turned into carrots cos I said so) And proceeded to eat the soup with my irrelevant soup spoon, when Harry Potter came flying in the window...

jono087

......And i proceeded to beat the living sh*t out of Harry 'cos he's a wizard and really really sad......

Piste

Then YOUR MA came in and arrested me for 'manslaughter' even though I intended to kill the Ba$tard.....

Spraypaint

I was then promptly detained in the 'joy where I met Barney the dinosaur who was serving time for.....

Kitsune

contravening the Being Bloody Stupid Act of 1581. Under the bed in my cell I found...

StupidLikeAFox

....garreth the ra, how do you explain this one i asked him, to which he replied....

Shiney

"What the f*ck are you doing here? Get out or I'll beat the cr*p outta you!" Then I...

LiamD

stole his superman tshirt and he said

StupidLikeAFox

gimme back my superman tshirt...

jono087

you *string of expletives* accompanied by a wild swing aimed at my upper torso....

Shiney

missing me completely and hitting Gollum who was sitting on my shoulder. then Gollum...

StupidLikeAFox

said i cant believe that guy killed that snail.....

Shiney

i would've fed him to my pet hobbits.
What's that around your neck. It's my prrrrrecioussssssssss ............

emptyspoon

..handy book of Winnie the Pooh anagrams. Then he jumped off my shoulder into a pile of horses. And then I continued to walk down the street until...

Shiney

i got hit by a school bus driven by principal Skinner and Bart Simpson stuck his head out of the window and shouted:".....

Stephen Forde

... i bet u like pie?? which then i replied indubitably and thought...

pinkpimp

'I'm still locked in the joy,' so i made a deal with my cell mate that if he could get me out of here i'd give him...

emptyspoon

...back half of his superman tshirt. And so he only let half of me out. So while he acted out scenes from Romeo and Juliet with my legs, I pulled my torso out of jail and back onto the street. Where I saw...

Stephen Forde

.. a shot of my own freshly made poteen that i made in my room under the stairs that i bring with me everywhere, which made me think what a nice person i am and...

Shiney

declared myself president of America but all of a sudden George Bush ran up to me and...

Stephen Forde

offered me his last rolo.Which in turn made a gigantic tear trail dont my face and then down my neck and then down my chest where it...

Shiney

bore through me skin and all of a sudden a massive horse chestnut tree grew out of my heart with money growing on it. "hey money does grow on trees"
i exclaimed and bought myself a .....

pinkpimp

nice bit of sanity, because this story needs some. Anyway, I asked yoda to use the force to get my legs back and he said...

Raphael

No

So I died of massive blood loss

THE END

Shiney

but then Yoda used the force and filled me with blood again but it was not blood but some substitute chemical which had side effects such as

pinkpimp

none at all, and i realised i hadnt died, and it wasnt yoda, just some old lady...

Shiney

who looked strangly familiar to the old woman in Donnie Darko when all of a sudden i realised i was in some sort of twilight zone. but then i remembered i was incredibly drunk and.......

pinkpimp

stoned, but it was all above board, because i am of legal age, and was in amsterdam...

emptyspoon

...and then I got a little bit more pissed so things would make even less sense. And then a saw Gollum living in his pile of horses, and I thought this story could really do with more Gollum so I...