child support and father rights

Daveo1982

However, he may be removed as guardian at a future date whereas a father married to the mother of the child is normally guardian for life.[/QUOTE]

Only if the they adopt the child

trident

I have a question....

I have been in dispute with my EX for a number of years and currently have Saturdays 10:00am to Sunday 7:00pm every second weekend.
I have an 11 year old daughter
My issues is every time I ask for either a bank holiday or another day I get turned down by me EX...she wants it all her own way. I would like to go for more access now that my health is better and and say for for every second Christmas-New Years and in general see more of my daughter. She has being telling my daughter of late that once she is 12 she will no longer have to go on access... Is this true and if so is it worth my while even trying to get more assess now ?


P.S. if it is law, that at the age of 12 a child can decide can you quote the law so I can look it up .... At this point I have found nothing to prove she is correct.

January

You need to contact a solicitor.

The Corinthian

trident wrote: »

My issues is every time I ask for either a bank holiday or another day I get turned down by me EX...she wants it all her own way.

She is under no obligation to deviate from any agreement you have in place on visitation, just as were she to request extra money for an expense, you are under no obligation to pay a cent above your agreed maintenance.

If you want to change an agreement and you cannot do so between you, you have to go to court, I'm afraid.

She has being telling my daughter of late that once she is 12 she will no longer have to go on access... Is this true and if so is it worth my while even trying to get more assess now ?

Strictly speaking no, it's not - your ex cannot unilaterally invalidate an access agreement/court order simply because she claims her daughter doesn't want to see you. However, your daughter's views will be considered in a court of law (by how much depends upon her age and the judge on the day) and this may sway any decision on future access.

Either way, as January suggested, you probably need to consult a legal professional, at this stage. You should also research parental alienation, given your ex's claims, as this is what may be happening.

Jude13

Quick Q (hopefully) re guardianship rights. I have a daughter who will be coming up to communion age soon and she obviously has to have been baptised for her to get communion. Myself and her mother talked years ago about religion and how it is not part of our lives and would not be part of our daughters, verbal no record.

I have a sneaking suspicion that my daughter has already ready been baptised without my consultation or approval. Where would I stand if this was the case.

The Corinthian

You'd be standing in tough shìt, I'm afraid. Guardianship rights, with regard to religious or educational upbringing are not really enforced in Ireland.

You might be able to stop your child from being initiated into a religion if you took legal action before it happened and a court saw the religion as contrary to the child's best interests, but after the fact? That ship has sailed.

Jude13

Cheers for the reply, i would not stand in the way of my daughter wanting to get her communion however it would just add to a list of issues that I have had to endure over the past few years. It really is the worst thing about Ireland being an unmarried father.

trident

Thank you The Corinthian for your mail alas funds notwithstanding a solicitor is out of the question at the moment.

In relation to access you were correct if its not written in the order then she doesn't have to give it to me ...alas this seems to be very one sided. Due to family events or parties and other events which seem to be on my weekend ....
If i say lets swap or I take her I seem to always come up short on my access time with my daughter.

Solicitors.
In the past I have had better look in court representing my self. As the judge is forced to let you speak, to get your side across ... For if the judge does not then in that case you can either state.....


1. for a postponement until such time as the judge is willing to let you put forward your side of the case ... this can be very doggy depending on the judge...reminding him/her that you are entitled to represent yourself
2. Ask that your case be moved to a higher court .. For me that would be from the circuit court to the high court. Due to the fact you are not being given fair opportunity to represent yourself and put forward your side of the case.


parental alienation or alienation of affection depending whom you speak too is not listened to in court ...well from my experience. I got steam rolled a few years ago when i tried to point out this to the judge .... Again I will have to try point this out when trying to get amendment to my access

I will be getting things started in the next week.

The Corinthian

trident wrote: »

In relation to access you were correct if its not written in the order then she doesn't have to give it to me ...alas this seems to be very one sided. Due to family events or parties and other events which seem to be on my weekend ....

Well yes. Unfortunately, if belligerent, either party can play silly bugger with the fine print on court orders. As I pointed out, if there's a maintenance order for, say, 100€ p.w. and the mother asks for more because of a once-off expense, you can equally tell her to piss off as you're not obliged to give her a penny more. Works both ways.

Were I you, I might seek a variation in your access order that allows you to swap dates given prior written notice.

parental alienation or alienation of affection depending whom you speak too is not listened to in court ...well from my experience. I got steam rolled a few years ago when i tried to point out this to the judge .... Again I will have to try point this out when trying to get amendment to my access

I mentioned parental alienation more in terms of researching strategies to counteract this, especially during your access times with your daughter. Seems like you are already well read up on the topic, so I'll not try to teach grandma how to suck eggs further.

diveout

Jude13 wrote: »

Quick Q (hopefully) re guardianship rights. I have a daughter who will be coming up to communion age soon and she obviously has to have been baptised for her to get communion. Myself and her mother talked years ago about religion and how it is not part of our lives and would not be part of our daughters, verbal no record.

I have a sneaking suspicion that my daughter has already ready been baptised without my consultation or approval. Where would I stand if this was the case.

If she did have her baptised it is possible that it came from educational pressure. Many parents do not have a choice. By law you have to send your child to school. By practise to get a place in a school you have to have your child baptised. So what do you do?

If you go down this road with the religion thing as an example, you might just end up looking unreasonable.

This is the irony about fathers' rights. They haven't quite copped that mother's rights are also smudgy.

glenadam

ADVICE NEEDS HERE ......If a father had full custody of his child for two years and was full time parent to the child and received child benefit. Can the mother take child benefit from the father if she just got joint custody last week.?. Each parent now has the child 50/50

V.W.L 11

glenadam wrote: »

ADVICE NEEDS HERE ......If a father had full custody of his child for two years and was full time parent to the child and received child benefit. Can the mother take child benefit from the father if she just got joint custody last week.?. Each parent now has the child 50/50

child benefit is split 50/50 if its joint custody AFAIK

michael031987

Hi. I am just looking for some advice. A few years ago myself and my ex were in court regarding access and maintenance. I believe that my solicitor let me down badly and just wanted the case over and done with. We agreed outside of the court room to only one weekend a month access and maintenance of €65 a week even though I only earn 24000 per year
. Since then my ex has met a new man and they are now living together and hoping to get married next year. Originally my maintenance payments were so high because she was a lone parent renting and living on her own. But now she has someone living with her so her expenses should be a lot lower? Do you think I would have grounds to ask for paying a lower weekly maintenance amount?

Snake

michael031987 wrote: »

Hi. I am just looking for some advice. A few years ago myself and my ex were in court regarding access and maintenance. I believe that my solicitor let me down badly and just wanted the case over and done with. We agreed outside of the court room to only one weekend a month access and maintenance of €65 a week even though I only earn 24000 per year
. Since then my ex has met a new man and they are now living together and hoping to get married next year. Originally my maintenance payments were so high because she was a lone parent renting and living on her own. But now she has someone living with her so her expenses should be a lot lower? Do you think I would have grounds to ask for paying a lower weekly maintenance amount?

If I'm correct when she gets married you don't pay anymore maintenance

V.W.L 11

GrayFox208 wrote: »

If I'm correct when she gets married you don't pay anymore maintenance

only if he agrees to the stepfather legally adopting his child otherwise it stays as is (OP paying)

The Corinthian

michael031987 wrote: »

But now she has someone living with her so her expenses should be a lot lower? Do you think I would have grounds to ask for paying a lower weekly maintenance amount?

Child maintenance is your part of the child's expenses. This new man may become responsible for your ex's expenses, once they marry, but your child's remain yours. They only change if your child is adopted, as has been pointed out.

Of course, those expenses for your child are both yours and your ex's - you're both equally financially responsible, regardless of who has custody. So if one has been paying the bulk of these expenses and the other's financial situation improves, then there would be a case for the rates to be changed.

To change what you contribute legally, you would need to do so in court, with a motion of variance. TBH, I think your personal costs probably will carry more weight that pointing to your ex's new 'income', but whether it would get anywhere, or even leave you worse off, largely depends on the Judge and what side of the bed they got out of that day.

diveout

The Corinthian wrote: »

Child maintenance is your part of the child's expenses. This new man may become responsible for your ex's expenses, once they marry, but your child's remain yours. They only change if your child is adopted, as has been pointed out.

Of course, those expenses for your child are both yours and your ex's - you're both equally financially responsible, regardless of who has custody. So if one has been paying the bulk of these expenses and the other's financial situation improves, then there would be a case for the rates to be changed.

To change what you contribute legally, you would need to do so in court, with a motion of variance. TBH, I think your personal costs probably will carry more weight that pointing to your ex's new 'income', but whether it would get anywhere, or even leave you worse off, largely depends on the Judge and what side of the bed they got out of that day.

I would double check this. With co habitational payment obligations and bills, and rights only to come down along the line with that, I would not be so sure a step father would not be called on to put money into the pot.

The Corinthian

diveout wrote: »

I would double check this. With co habitational payment obligations and bills, and rights only to come down along the line with that, I would not be so sure a step father would not be called on to put money into the pot.

Well, de jure no; even under the co-habitation act, he would still not be liable to support a child that is not his, only his ex-partner. De facto, he probably will end up doing so to some degree anyway. Problem is that the law in Ireland is left largely to the judges to interpret and how they do so, on any given day, is a crap shoot.

diveout

The Corinthian wrote: »

Well, de jure no; even under the co-habitation act, he would still not be liable to support a child that is not his, only his ex-partner. De facto, he probably will end up doing so to some degree anyway. Problem is that the law in Ireland is left largely to the judges to interpret and how they do so, on any given day, is a crap shoot.

Watch this space, I give it two years max before it becomes de jure too.

LegacyUser

Can I please have some helpful advice. Can anyone tell me how many hours per week is a father entitled to spend with my Daughter who is just gone 2years old.

And can the mother or court stop me the father from seeing my child after a protection order has been broken and Domestic violence charges have been given?

Is my access taken away or Blocked after Domestic violence conviction?

installer

diveout wrote: »

Watch this space, I give it two years max before it becomes de jure too.

I have 3 children the eldest is 20 has been in full time employment for past 2 years next is 19 in university getting a grant each month and the youngest still in school, the eldest is going to give up his job and go to college in sept living away from home(mothers house) I'm unemployed living with my girlfriend and her child and I pay 70 euro per week from my job seekers allowance (court ordered) recently my payments were reduced as we declared ourselves cohabiting (188 down to 124) my question is really down to is this too high for an unemployed father and if so should I go look for a variation order as I'm really struggling to pay bills and maintenance and as a result everything is in arrears, rent, other household bills and child support

diveout

installer wrote: »

I have 3 children the eldest is 20 has been in full time employment for past 2 years next is 19 in university getting a grant each month and the youngest still in school, the eldest is going to give up his job and go to college in sept living away from home(mothers house) I'm unemployed living with my girlfriend and her child and I pay 70 euro per week from my job seekers allowance (court ordered) recently my payments were reduced as we declared ourselves cohabiting (188 down to 124) my question is really down to is this too high for an unemployed father and if so should I go look for a variation order?

Honestly I think you would have shot at it because you are now supporting another family.

Now I don't know, but the zeitgeist is such that it is moving away from biology and towards co habitational relationships if you get me...in terms of rights and responsibility.

installer

Thanks for the info, I was at 1 stage court ordered to pay nearly 1100 per month while in no more than an average factory job but naturally enough i fell into arrears and my ex being blood thirsty had me back before the judge every chance she got, i mean every few months, the judges eventually realised that I wasn't in a situation to pay and reduced considerably (over time) and is now 70 per week, still alot when on the dole.. another question is my daughter who is 19 is getting over 600 per month grant, more than i am really, should i still be paying support for her considering she is not living with the mother whilst in college and is in fact self supportive?

January

Legal advice lads, you need some and we are not allowed to give it here. Speak to FLAC and Treoir if you cannot afford a solicitor.