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"Quote" the Raven?

  • 03-12-2003 9:36pm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,352 ✭✭✭

    I just thought it would be nice to ramble through some of the most memorable moments on the disc, so i created this thread for people to list and discuss some of their favourite quotes, charaters, phrases and scenes from the series. I'll start the ball.

    Remember in "Moving Pictures", the part when the labrarian swung and missed the Giant Ginger? TP's description was hilarious and i will never forget the final little "ook ". Classic. The parody of King Kong was brilliant, especially the Bursar and Ridcully flying around the Tower of Art.

    I would provide reference Page number only i cant find the book.


    I will type some more classic moments, but i wanna hear some other peoples first!



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky

    In Feet Of Clay, when Vimes, Carrot and Angua run into someone from the slaughterhouse who explains what Dorfl did to the workers.

    "He- made use of some sage and onion"

    "He'll never be able to look an apple in the face again!
    "By the sounds of it, that's certainly the last thing he'll be doing..."
    "What am I going to do!?"
    "Well, if you can get a hold of the stem..."

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,661 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger

    That Librarian bit was classic. Especially the war cry that turns into a scream when he realises what the rope is tied to.

    My favorite bit was in Men at Arms. They've just decided that Angua will need her armor custom made ("Hammer it out here and here") and that they'll stop archery practice until they figure out how to stop her......her getting in the way when Colon's getting fed up :

    Colon : I don't know, miss.....
    Angua : Lance-Constable.
    Colon : Sorry?
    Angua : Lance-Constable. Carrot says we don't have any sex while on duty.
    To the background of Nobby's frantic coughing......

  • Registered Users Posts: 14,181 ✭✭✭✭Jim

    You know, to someone who has never read those particular books. Its funny how little sense it makes.

    I love when you first meet Death in Mort


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 353 ✭✭Kain

    When three of the Four Horse Men Of The Apocolypse's hourses are stolen while their having a drink.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 128 ✭✭Q_Elexra

    I really love the wizards

    from Reaper Man
    'Yo!' said the Dean.
    Yo what? said Ridcully.
    It's not a yo what, it's just a yo,' said the Senior
    Wrangler, behind him. 'It's a general street greeting
    and affirmative with convivial military ingroup and
    masculine bonding-ritual overtones.'
    'What? What? Like "jolly good"?' said Ridcully.
    'I suppose so,' said the Senior Wrangler, reluctantly.
    Ridcully was pleased. Ankh-Morpork had never
    offered very good prospects for hunting. He'd never
    thought it was possible to have so much fun in his own
    'Right,' he said. 'Let's get those heaps!'
    Ridcully sighed. 'Bursar?'
    'Yes, Archchancellor?'
    'Just try to understand, allright?'

    Maybe not the best wizard scene but I liked it.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,306 ✭✭✭OfflerCrocGod

    Kain wrote:
    When three of the Four Horse Men Of The Apocolypse's hourses are stolen while their having a drink.
    One Horseman and three pedestrians of the Apocalypse :D

  • Registered Users Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan

    every one of them a classic.

    every last one of them

  • Moderators, Arts Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 11,019 Mod ✭✭✭✭Fysh

    Probably my all time personal favourite was from Guards! Guards!, can't get it exactly, it was something like "one of the wizards was telling me about it the other day, 's a bendy educational thing. Oh yes...learning curve".


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,661 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger

    I love when you first meet Death in Mort


    Are you sure you're not thinking of Hogfather? When Albert says something along the lines of :

    "Well, you're getting better at the : 'HO, HO, HO.' but perhaps you could leave out the bit about : 'COWER, BRIEF MORTALS!'."

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 152 ✭✭avatar

    'Pickled gherkins, I hear you calling!!!'

    I laugh so hard every time I read that.

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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 23,556 ✭✭✭✭Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

    i think it's in guards guards, or men at arms

    carrot's talking to vimes

    "i think we're dealing with a twisted mind here" - vimes

    "you suspect corporal nobbs sir?" - carrot

    "there are sicker people in the world that corporal nobbs carrot" - vimes

    "ye gods sir"..- carrot

    slightly paraphrased :) but I loved that scene

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 152 ✭✭avatar

    'It's a million to one chance, but it might just work...'

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,306 ✭✭✭OfflerCrocGod

    avatar wrote:
    'It's a million to one chance, but it might just work...'
    Million to one chances work 9 times out of 10 ;)

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 152 ✭✭avatar

    Susan was finally the one thing she always wanted to be. She was fully human.
    Bloody, bloody damn.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,677 ✭✭✭Waltons

    One of my most remembered Discworld quotes is from The Light Fantastic. It has always stuck with me. Ahhh I love Rincewind.

    "Rincewind knew what orgasms were, of course, he’d had few in his time. Sometimes even in company"

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 275 ✭✭Hydrosylator

    "Can i have them........mashed?"
    Rincewind in Interesting Times

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 353 ✭✭Kain

    "When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend." Comander Vimes - NightWatch

    Albert: Do you know what happens to lads who ask to many questions?
    Mort: No, what?
    Albert: Damned if I know. Probably get answers, and serve ‘em right.

    I love that one form NightWatch

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 26 Shrapnel

    I love the bit in nightwatch. Carcer and Vimes on top of the UU

    -"see, I knew you was a smart man mr. Vimes, knowing i'd have two knives and all"
    -*Vimes, not paying attention*"uh-huh"
    -"Mr Vimes?"
    -"I've got three knives mr.Vimes..."

    Subscript in a book, can't remember which one...
    "*When You're a God, you don't need reasons"

    From The Fifth Elephant, Death and Vimes in a tree
    -"Aren't you going to help me?"
    death paused

    And of course from mort

  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,555 ✭✭✭tSubh Dearg

    I love Q Elexra's quote from Reaper Man...It's one of my favourites too as Reaper Man was the first Discworld book I read and that bit made me laugh out loud!

    I also love the Dean in Soul Music and his Born to Rune leather jacket...that almost said Born to Eat Big Dinners :D

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 26 Shrapnel

    subscript from going postal
    *Dimwell Rhyming slang: There are many rhyming slangs in the multiverse. Some include the terms apples and pears (stairs), jockey's whips (chips), and of course, busy bees (general theory of relativity)

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky

    "Et a man once. In a siege, it were."

    "That's horrible!"

    "Not with mustard."

  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 34,541 CMod ✭✭✭✭CiDeRmAn

    When detritus the troll is in the cold room over a long period and we discover that his brain is a superconductor that works most efficiently at very low temperatures, hence why trolls aren't the brightest at room temp. and normal iq when operating up the ramtops where its much colder, or something like that, its been a while since i read that one.
    Also the moment when the golem defies the gods and winds up with his helmet running down aound his head,
    the books are just too cool for school!
    Heck what about the bit when the kangaroo turns up at high sped in the unseen university when the wizards forget about the preservation of rotational energy after the teleportation of rincewind to XXXX, gotta watch that preservation of rotational energy, it'll get you every time!

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,352 ✭✭✭funky penguin

    In "Thief of Time" when Lu Tze is explaing how Martial Arts is just a way of manipulating time, and that the physical destruction end of it is just a by-product. The names of the Arts are classic:
    Lobsang: "Do you know oikidoki?"

    Lu Tze: "Just alot of Bunny-hops"


    "If I wanted to thrust my hand in hot sand, I'd go to the seaside"


    "A waste of good bricks"

    "NO Kando?"

    "You made that one up."

    "Déja fu?"......etc.

    Oh!!! This is my first ever message that was stickied! Yipee!

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,352 ✭✭✭funky penguin

    Oh, and in "Going Postal", towards the end of the book, Pratchett's desription of a vocal silence between two characters is classic:

    "There was a pregnant pause.It gave birth to a lot of little pauses, each one more deeply embarrasing than its parent."

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 197 ✭✭Bazookatone

    In "Hogfather" when Death is in the department store, the child grabs his hood and pulls it down and whispers something to which Death replies "YES, I KNOW, WHAT A NAUGHTY PIG INDEED" (the feral pig that pulls the hogfathers sleigh has just taken a piss).

    That and from "Reaper Man", the quotes which each sum up Death in a sentence.

    see, he's not a bad guy, he's just very, very good at his job.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,742 ✭✭✭Branoic

    My favourite bit is in Moving Pictures, near the end. Its been years and years since i read the book, so i can't actually remember how the dialogue exactly went. But basically two old farmers are watching the mad car chase, when one of the cars plows into a barn.

    One farmer says something like, "It'll come out the other side in a minute in a cloud of feathers and squawking chickens."

    "i don't think so."

    "Yes it will, that's the way these things always happen in them moving pictures."

    "Well i'll be damn surprised if it does.....that barn's full of cabbages."

    And then the car bursts forth in an explosion of feathers and squaking chickens.

    "Well, damn me."

    You get the idea. I plssed myself laughing for an hour after that bit.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3 TKD

    there are two many to mention in my opinion, but anything by Death is a classic, but the one that really sticks in my mind is when Om in small gods in his turtle form is dropped by the eagle near the end:

    'ohbuggeroh buggerohdamnohdamohbuggerohbuggerdamndamn BUGGER!

    i woke up the whole house laughing at that late at night.

    also anythng by the Nac Mac feegle, ach grivens

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 103 ✭✭KamikazeBananze

    aye. Almost anything said by the Feegles is hilarious. Wee Free Men is great fun to read.

  • Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 9,496 Mod ✭✭✭✭BossArky

    Thief of Time - "When you look into the abyss, it's not supposed to wave back."

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  • Registered Users Posts: 647 ✭✭✭slasher_65

    quite possibly the one that i think is best is in hogwatch where DEATH is trying to get the pigs to fly. the one with the apple sause! priceless!