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The closet door is opening wide...

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    #32
    azezil
    Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    I stand by my earlier point, different people can choose to dislike a certain group for one reason or another, one's sexuality does not, in my opinion, have any major baring on it. Its just something that is or is not in your nature, how u were raised. Yes some gay people are very bitchy and close minded but no more so than any other 'sexuality group'. :rolleyes:


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    #33
    yellum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,025 ✭✭✭yellum


    Yes Azezil, but one would expect people who have been subjected to narrowmindedness and backward thinking because of their sexuality might actually in some way become enlightened and have had their mind opened about others sexualities.

    Sadly not.

    I know a few bisexuals and they are fine well balanced people.


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    #34
    STaN
    Registered Users Posts: 2,127 ✭✭✭STaN


    Are you saying then that, it feels worse for , someone you go out with , who is BI , to dump you for a girl??
    In other words that if , he leaves you for another man , it feels bad, but not as bad as if it's for a woman?

    YES. Leaving for any reason is obviously bad. But if he then got with a girl, something would enter my mind about him being BI. What? I dunno, i've yet to be in that situation.

    Personally I *would* feel worse if my guy left me for a girl, but that wouldn't stop me from going out with and trying to love someone who is Bisexual when we fancy each other and get on.

    Why would you feel worse if a guy left you for a girl? It *might* be a possibility that this woman fits better into what he wants from a relationship. Long term marraige, kids etc etc *shrug*

    When the trust leaves the relationship, it's probably time to move on, unless you have a thick skin and that someone means enough to you to try and work it out, in my opinion.
    It shouldn't be any different regardless of who's being cheating with who....but it does

    I have not yet gone out with a BI guy, not even turned one down. Maybe i haven't gone near them on Gaydar, but if i met a guy in a bar and he said he was BI and we got on and liked each other, then it wouldn't bother me. Although if he started any of this "unsure" crap or started telling me about girls he fancied, i'd seriously consider if i wanted to be in that relationship, because to me, all the stuff i've heard would pop into my mind.


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    #35
    STaN
    Registered Users Posts: 2,127 ✭✭✭STaN



    The glb community has fought and fights prejudices every day. It still surprises me that some people who get singled out for their sexuality can then prejudge and be prejudiced.

    If you hear a rumour about some1, from 2/3 people and you meet that person, all having told you the same story - would you say you would face them with a clear head and not have any of those peoples comments even have a factor at any time now or in the future.

    We have heard and seen the same thing about gay people on tv shows and stories from our friends. Look at how many straight people are preconditioned that gay men are aids ridden and promiscuous

    Taking away the aids part, is the second completely untrue? I don't watch much TV - that was one show that showed something i had heard about in real life.

    I had the same experience with a guy liek that, wanting me to sleep with him one minute and pushing me away the next going "ewwww I'm not gay" He was just confused and ****ed up. Thats not the same thing as bisexual.

    I agree, but before 25, can people that say their BI know what they really want. This i think is one of the main factors for my thinking. They might really like the idea of being with a guy for a while, then for any uncalculatable amount of reasons, choose switch preferences.


    Yes but he also likes guys. Theres no major difference when it comes to trusting someone and being comfortable with them. He accepts who you are and you should accept who he is. I agree with Corrie Fan and Claire H. He can just as easily cheat with a guy.

    He can, but cheating is cheating. He just has twice as many people to cheat with IF he is that sort of (would u call them a person?)

    So are other unions such as same sex unions unnatural ? People have been imprisoned and died in Ireland let alone the rest of the world fighting peacefully for them to lead their own lives and not have people tell them what they do is unnatural.

    Not saying its unnatural.. its happening in nature. i.e. not a freak occurance i.e. unnatural. But MAN <-> WOMAN is the original way our biology works. The A connects to the B and gives another A or a B.


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    #36
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Originally posted by STaN
    Personally I *would* feel worse if my guy left me for a girl, but that wouldn't stop me from going out with and trying to love someone who is Bisexual when we fancy each other and get on.

    Why would you feel worse if a guy left you for a girl? It *might* be a possibility that this woman fits better into what he wants from a relationship. Long term marraige, kids etc etc *shrug*
    Probably because in that case ultimately, I couldnt give him what, the girl can, ie what you mention, kids, the "normal" family life etc.
    The "letting go" would to my mind be much tougher in that case, if you really liked the guy, 'cause you would be torn between, the realisation that , it's nice for him to be happy and the fact that it is not you thats making him happy.
    Although if he started any of this "unsure" crap or started telling me about girls he fancied, i'd seriously consider if i wanted to be in that relationship, because to me, all the stuff i've heard would pop into my mind.
    Well there you have it, you see, you've more or less the same underlying fear of losing the guy to a girl as I'd have.

    Thats understandable, but shouldn't be allowed by you to rear it's head as a feeling at all, in choosing who you'd go out with, to be honest for two reasons in my opinion;

    (i) Because when you are in a relationship with a person, whether they are Bi or not, it's the trust ( or sometimes thrust :D ) between the two of you that matters, and once thats there, the fact that the other person did at one time and is still capable of fancying girls , shouldn't come into it at all.
    I'm sure you wouldn't mind him talking about the boys he fancied, or at least you shouldn't.
    and (ii) If the relationship ends for any reason including, the guy going to a girl, then it has ended. That might never happen, so it's no reason to rule out something that might be beautiful :) ( God I'm feeling so Nice tonight... :D )


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    #37
    yellum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,025 ✭✭✭yellum


    Originally posted by STaN

    If you hear a rumour about some1, from 2/3 people and you meet that person, all having told you the same story - would you say you would face them with a clear head and not have any of those peoples comments even have a factor at any time now or in the future.


    You were not talking about a *specific* person in your original reply. You were talking about if you met a bi guy and you said you'd be prejudiced.

    If I hear rumours about someone from 2/3 people I might be wary but I would not prejudge someone and I'd like to think other people wouldn't prejudge me from what others have said about me. Its better to make up your own opinion about someone.

    Taking away the aids part, is the second completely untrue? I don't watch much TV - that was one show that showed something i had heard about in real life.

    So do you not trust any gay person ? Or any bi person ? TV shows show people cheating on their partners all the time. Guys leaving girls for another girl or guy and viceversa. Just because the same thing happens in real life shouldn't tar everyone.

    I agree, but before 25, can people that say their BI know what they really want.

    Can people that are gay say they are really gay ? What significance does the 25 year mark represent ? People can be sure of their sexuality at age 10 or might not know til they're 70. Its different for each person.

    then for any uncalculatable amount of reasons, choose to switch preferences.

    So you're saying that sexuality is a choice ? Or that Bisexual people choose to be with one sex after a while ? Surely they might settle for one sex as they want to spend their life with one person of whatever sex. A lot of us want to settle with someone eventually.


    He can, but cheating is cheating. He just has twice as many people to cheat with IF he is that sort of (would u call them a person?)

    That again goes back to trust. So because theres more choice theres a greater chance you will be dropped ?


    Not saying its unnatural.. its happening in nature. i.e. not a freak occurance i.e. unnatural.

    You said a man and woman union is the natural way. So what is a samesex union , is this natural or is it unnatural or is there another defintion ?

    Is 10% a freak occurance then ?

    Do you class yourself as not being normal ?


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    #38
    claire h
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,056 ✭✭✭claire h


    Taking away the aids part, is the second completely untrue?
    Erm. Yes. Or rather, if gay men are promiscuous (despite the fact that making generalisations about a group is just silly), they are no more promiscuous than straight men.

    ...but before 25, can people that say their BI know what they really want.
    And that would be another YES they can. What is this prejudice you seem to have against a) young people and b) bisexual people?

    He just has twice as many people to cheat with...
    Oh, for f**k's sake. Just because someone is bisexual doesn't mean they're attracted to twice as many people. It just takes one person to cheat on someone with.


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    #39
    Tusky
    Registered Users Posts: 17,056 ✭✭✭✭Tusky


    congratz Andy, ( now I know why you wanted me to come to all those lans , I know im irresistible ) lol :)


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    #40
    STaN
    Registered Users Posts: 2,127 ✭✭✭STaN


    You were not talking about a *specific* person in your original reply. You were talking about if you met a bi guy and you said you'd be prejudiced.

    No i wasnt, i was talking about hearing stories about one person :rolleyes: . That comment was illustrative (illustrative that me hearing things, has some influence on my thoughts)

    Taking away the aids part, is the second completely untrue? I don't watch much TV - that was one show that showed something i had heard about in real life.

    You said: "Look at how many straight people are preconditioned that gay men are aids ridden and promiscuous"

    I made the omment that not everything is untrue. Some guys are promiscuoes gay or straight. So its not completely untrue that some guys are. TV has backed up something for me that i thought in relation to BiSexual people.

    So do you not trust any gay person ? Or any bi person ?

    I said twice above that i do trust.

    Can people that are gay say they are really gay ? What significance does the 25 year mark represent ? People can be sure of their sexuality at age 10 or might not know til they're 70. Its different for each person.

    Yes its different for every person. By 25 in my opinion, most people know where they are going. Note:MOST (before u point out your case).

    STaN: then for any uncalculatable amount of reasons, choose to switch preferences.

    Yellum: So you're saying that sexuality is a choice ? Or that Bisexual people choose to be with one sex after a while ? Surely they might settle for one sex as they want to spend their life with one person of whatever sex. A lot of us want to settle with someone eventually.

    No its not a choice. Maybe they have family pressures to marry. Maybe they want girls not boys at that stage. Maybe its easier for them to comprehend a woman so he can have kids. For "uncalculatable" reasons - stuff going on in the brain unconscious? I duno. Your with a person because you like them. So the clarification is that they MAY choose conciously or otherwise to try another sex after a while. And yes they will choose a person who fits their criteria.

    That again goes back to trust. So because theres more choice theres a greater chance you will be dropped ?

    Again, in my post, i said IF he was that sort of person, yes.

    STaN: Not saying its unnatural.. its happening in nature. i.e. not a freak occurance i.e. unnatural. But MAN <-> WOMAN is the original way our biology works. The A connects to the B and gives another A or a B.

    Yellum: You said a man and woman union is the natural way. So what is a samesex union , is this natural or is it unnatural or is there another defintion ?

    Is 10% a freak occurance then ?

    Do you class yourself as not being normal ?

    The other definition is GAY. Gay has been defined in another thread. I clarified in my thread that i wasnt saying its unnatural or a freak occurance.


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    #41
    DapperGent
    Registered Users Posts: 4,838 ✭✭✭DapperGent


    I'm pretty jealous Corega to be honest.

    It must be truly liberating to decide who you'd like to have a relationship with without them having to be of an appropriate gender first.

    I'd love to be bi-sexual. I'm not though. :(


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    #42
    BuffyBot
    Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 24,924 Mod ✭✭✭✭BuffyBot


    Yes Azezil, but one would expect people who have been subjected to narrowmindedness and backward thinking because of their sexuality might actually in some way become enlightened and have had their mind opened about others sexualities.

    You might expect it, but some people will always defy categorization no matter what their sexuality.


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    #43
    yellum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,025 ✭✭✭yellum


    Originally posted by BuffyBot
    You might expect it, but some people will always defy categorization no matter what their sexuality.
    or personal experiences ..

    Yes very true BuffyBot


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    #44
    yellum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,025 ✭✭✭yellum


    Getting back on track about bisexuality a girl on the gaycork.com website posted a very good summary of what bisexuality meant to her. It was really well said:

    Link here


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    #45
    tendofan
    Registered Users Posts: 79 ✭✭tendofan


    I dunno, I've always disliked labels, as much for a tendency to "act out" the implications of the label as much as for the facile, discriminatory nature of a label in the first place - and I apply that to those who label themselves as much as those who label others.

    I've never particularly bought into the notion of the exclusivity of gender preference either - that is not to say that one doesn't/shouldn't have a preference, but rather that sexuality is a continuum and that many people are have what one might call "a touch of the other" in them (fnarr fnarr) and can find themselves falling for either gender. (There's a whole discussion to be had on how much society and upbringing impacts on the expression of that I suppose...)

    In any event, like who you like and to hell with the labels. :-)


    Tendofan
    "Mother, I've something to tell you."
    "Okay son."
    "I'm *sob* a post-structuralist!"


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    #46
    Pepe LeFrits
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 15,001 ✭✭✭✭Pepe LeFrits


    Don't see what the big bruhaha about coming out as bi is, doesn't strike me as a big deal... it seems fairly common now. anyway, enjoy it andy. bigger barrel to fish in!

    and i agree with tendofan. why label yourself.


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    #47
    wheelie bin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭wheelie bin


    You need to distinguish between a label and an indentity. Lots of people have difficulty coming out as gay or bi. It can be very important to a person to declare or discuss their sexual identity openly. So a dismissive 'yawn, why label yourself' isn't always the most constructive response. It can be tantamount to inviting a person to deny their sexuality or avoid discussing it.

    If you are queer, then dentifying as queer isn't some shallow label. It's part what makes you who you are. There is nothing 'facile' about it. It's part of your identity.

    :cool:


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