The closet door is opening wide...

Corega

Well, I'm 17 and I reckon I'm bi. Haven't told any of my mates yet, and I don' think I will be for a while. Twould be a bit awkward to say the least. Anyway, that's all. I blame azezil really.

Boston

Just curious, and feel free to tell me to piss off, but what was azeils role in all this, or do i not want to know. Just wondering what makes you think your gay/bi,

STaN

/me is formulating a CS related theory


Btw I know telling the parents is going to be really hard, sure mine find out by accident but it wasn't that bad afterwards, quite releaving. Advice: there are some things they just don't need to know

Also, can i ask, not being bi, if u see a good looking guy and a good looking girl, what goes through your mind? (don't have to answer, just wondering)

Emboss

because azeil makes being gay look cool.

Corega

Yus he does. Dave, I think I'd be inclining towards the straight end of the bi-sexual scale. Where it would only be a few lads that I would "fancy". God damn this is hard to come out with.

Emboss

You're 17 you may very well be bi/gay/straight who knows, **** what you can and wait till your about 25 and have another think about it

azezil

Congrats matey, said it to me last week on irc, didn't think you were serious, soz bout that *hugz*

yellum

Originally posted by Emboss
You're 17 you may very well be bi/gay/straight who knows, **** what you can and wait till your about 25 and have another think about it

1. Why can't you let him make up his own mind ?
2. I'm sure he has thought long and hard about this

Congrats I guess Corega. Need any advice we'll be glad to help. PM any of us.

Damien

claire h

Good that you're able to talk about it, at least. Don't stress too much about your friends not knowing - tell them when you're ready.

wheelie bin

Congratulations on coming out as bi. Being bi has pros and cons. It's quite a trip - but it's great!

But . . .as well as some straights being hostile, so are a lot of gay people - although things are changing somewhat.

All the best!

azezil

Originally posted by wheelie bin
Congratulations on coming out as bi. Being bi has pros and cons. It's quite a trip - but it's great!

But . . .as well as some straights being hostile, so are a lot of gay people - although things are changing somewhat.

All the best!

Some people are assholes some are not they're sexuality has nothing to do with it

wheelie bin

I disagree with you, azezil.

There are some really sound gay people I know that just have issues with bisexuality. It's not because they are assholes - it's because they just don't understand bisexuality.

The difference for me is I don't need a gay person to explain to me how it feels to be attracted to men. I know how that feels.

But I often find I often do have to explain/defend my sexuality to gay people - even though I don't feel I should have to account for my sexuality any more than anyone else should have to explain theirs.

Does that clarify?

:cool:

claire h

There are some really sound gay people I know that just have issues with bisexuality. It's not because they are assholes - it's because they just don't understand bisexuality.

Yeah... it's tricky being bisexual because on one hand you have some people saying, "Oh, so you're really gay?" or telling you that it's "just a phase" or it's "trendy" or it's "safe" (in comparison to being gay) or whatever, and then you have the people who think, "oh, well, you're not gay, so you're practically straight, so it doesn't mean anything" when it does. Sigh. It can work for you in some cases - easier for people to deal with - but at the same time, a lot of people aren't entirely sure what bisexuality is.

And don't even get me started on that whole "all bisexuals are promiscuous and up for anything wild" myth....

swiss

Fair play to you Corega to admitting your bisexuality, there are a lot of people who wouldn't have the bottle to do that for various reasons.

I will admit though that there are a few people in the gay community don't give bisexuals the credit that they deserve. Some people believe that bisexuality is a 'safe bet' for people who are not fully 'out'. While I do think that this is the case for a few people, I wouldn't label all bisexuals as closet homosexuals.

Anyway, try not to think of it as that big a deal. It's just a part of who you are, and your mates should realise that. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

yellum

I agree with Wheelie Bin. Its very ironic that gay people discriminate against bisexuals but they do. Theres enough discrimination about the place and I find it downright troubling than gay people give bisexuals a bad time.

I know a lot of gay people who just class bisexuals as "confused" and "in denial" "Don't know what they f**king want" etc

This might slightly stem from the way some gay people try and out others, which might come from them still not be comfortable with their sexuality. Some weird kind of "you're as bad as me" thing or them wanting to fit into a group.

How hard a concept is it to think that if you are capable of being attracted to the same sex you could also be attracted to the opposite sex at the same time... Lots of gay people don't seem to accept this and can give bisexuals a hard time.

Remember the friends episode with the song by phoebe on bisexuals:

Sometimes men love women.

And sometimes men love men.

Then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves

wheelie bin

Here's an example of the kind of intolerance a bi person can experience. . .

I was recently dating a gay guy. After a short time I told him that I'm bi - he just assumed I was gay.

His first reaction was "Oh I don't really like bisexuals - no wait - what I mean is i'm not into them - I know they have a right to be bisexual but . . ." He went on to tell me that he could never have a serious relationship with a bi guy because he "couldn't really trust a guy that's confused aboutr his sexuality".

This sounded pretty ****ty to me.

But wait . . . we talked a little more and he started opening up a little more about himself. He told me how a while back he had met a girl and discovered that he really had feelings for her. This happened long after he came out - and he'd never 'been with' a girl. He was attracted to her. But he didn't know what to do. He had always been "100% gay" and now he'd fallen for a girl . . . He didn't know what to do about it - and so nothing happened.

Does that mean he's bisexual himself? Maybe. Maybe not. It does mean an element of sexual 'confusion' came into his life and instead of embracing and trusting his feelings, he retreated back into his own safe environment. Whether he was ultimately wise to have done that in the long term or not time will tell. But it did illustrate that one can identify as '100% gay' and still have straight tendencies. And that the 'confusion' he saw in me was not mine - I'm not in the least confused, it's all pretty clear to me - but his . . .

I came out as 'gay' first and then realised I was denying my straight side. It is waaaay easier I believe to come out as 'gay' than to come out as 'bi'. Then there are people who are predominantly straight but have gay tendencies but they don't ever accept it.

So once again - well done Corega for being honest with yourself!

BuffyBot

Originally posted by yellum
I know a lot of gay people who just class bisexuals as "confused" and "in denial" "Don't know what they f**king want" etc

TBH I agree a bit with both sides a little. People with that attitude (and there are gay and straight people who think that about bisexuals) are simply ignorant - so yes there are ignorant people about. I don't mean ignorant as something derogatory, I mean it in its original sense of these people not understanding a concept.

And then there are the arseholes

BTW congrats on "coming out" Corega, even if it's just on boards. Take your time, relax and enjoy

Annasopra

Have to agree with Wheelie Bim and Yellum that the discrimination that bis receive from the gay community is disturbing, especially considering the way that people in the gay community are treated.

Corega congrats on deciding to come out, it gets much easier over time. Just remember to do what you think is ricght for you and nothing else

doctor evil

Well done on coming out, but at 17 I believe that you are a bit too young to be labelling your self or maybe not but my point is (and I`m17 my self) at 17 you dont fully know or come into yourself, I`m not saying its a phase it could be its not impossible. But at 17 you havent lived and you are still very much a youngster in the terms of your whole life.
Any advice I would have to give you would be don`t label your self now just go with the flow and dont ignore any strong feelings.
I havent labeled my self for the above reason and also I really dftest labels I fing them very limiting and stereotypical and frustrating. Bottom line I just dont like labels, thats just me:D

claire h

Labels can suck but they can also be empowering, if you're choosing to label yourself as opposed to letting others do it for you. And as for the age thing - *shrugs*. Some people feel ready to label themselves when they're teenagers and some aren't even when they're in their thirties or forties. And for god's sake, people label themselves as *straight* from a young age, why should it be different if you're bi or gay?

doctor evil

You dont have to let people label you, and people arent going to automatically do it. And there is nothing wrong with keeping your options open. In my experience I don`t think any one labelled them selves straight/gay/bi when they are very young.

claire h

You dont have to let people label you

Oh, good grief, I should hope not. But if you're choosing a label *for yourself*, that's different, that was kinda my point.

Lukin Black

Labels shmabels. I'd consider myself gay, but have an uncharacteristic fancying to Michelle Pfieffer and Jessica Alba. That kinda seems to negate me being gay, sure as hell doesn't make me straight, but I can't see it putting me on the bi-bus.

As for Doctor Evil's comment about young people, as much as I tried kidding myself when I was young (say from about 12/13) I knew what way I stood. I always hear people saying "ah, you're too young to know for sure etc." but, I would be curious to know if there are people that thought they were gay/straight, and I mean deep down thought, felt it, but then grew up and felt different later.

ixoy

Labels are just confusing really. Mate of mine would say to others he's gay, but that his sexuality is more bisexual. He's attracted to both sexes but prefers men and leads a gay lifestyle. Doesn't mean he's not bisexual at the same time. Which makes the labelling - and feeling the need to have to label - kinda silly at times. It doesn't matter all that much as long as the person is being genuine...

Interestingly enough, I did consider myself bisexual (this around around 18-19). And my friends, straight and gay, kinda said that I wasn't, based on my experience, and who they saw me looking at. Now I'd, if I felt I had to, would go for gay. So did my friends subliminally push me in one direction or make me see a truth? Oh bugger, now I have to think

Corega

Originally posted by claire h
And for god's sake, people label themselves as *straight* from a young age, why should it be different if you're bi or gay?

Too bloody right. Jesus, I had no idea about all these intricate details of bi and gay sexuality. Ahh well, I posted this up to maybe get some advice, and to tell people what stage I'm at in my life. I don't think I'll ever fully "come out" and if I do, it's not going to be anytime soon. Thanks for the advice and pm's

phreak

Congrats Andy

well done on opening the door.

STaN

Originally posted by wheelie bin
Here's an example of the kind of intolerance a bi person can experience. . .

I was recently dating a gay guy. After a short time I told him that I'm bi - he just assumed I was gay.

His first reaction was "Oh I don't really like bisexuals - no wait - what I mean is i'm not into them - I know they have a right to be bisexual but . . ." He went on to tell me that he could never have a serious relationship with a bi guy because he "couldn't really trust a guy that's confused aboutr his sexuality".

This sounded pretty ****ty to me.

It sounds pretty shitty, but I'd like to shed a light on how a typical gay guy MIGHT be thinking...

If som1 tells me their BI, i tend to prejudge them. Why? I probably shouldn't but I do and I've been preconditioned by stories from friends and even to a certain extent by the story of a gay couple in Hollyoaks & one of them is BI, and rips the other guy's heart out. (yes i know its a TV show, but still - it all ads up). A guy i liked and who liked me, i had allot of issues with. One day straight, another gay. I found myself thinking "make up yer mind to what you want", he didn't and nothing much came of it.

It comes down to trust, and to me the scene is showing itself to be not all that full of trustworth people, just jumping relationships for some1 slightly better model.

Now if i met a BI guy I liked and we dated, i would trust him until i had a reason to believe otherwise. But in reality it would always be in the back of my mind, that he likes girls. Man & Woman is the natural union.

claire h

Originally posted by STaN
One day straight, another gay.

That's not bi. That's confused. There is a difference.

And is a guy leaving a guy for a girl better than a guy leaving him for another guy? He's leaving either way.

LegacyUser

Originally posted by STaN
But in reality it would always be in the back of my mind, that he likes girls. Man & Woman is the natural union.

Are you saying then that, it feels worse for , someone you go out with , who is BI , to dump you for a girl??
In other words that if , he leaves you for another man , it feels bad, but not as bad as if it's for a woman?

Personally I *would* feel worse if my guy left me for a girl, but that wouldn't stop me from going out with and trying to love someone who is Bisexual when we fancy each other and get on.

When the trust leaves the relationship, it's probably time to move on, unless you have a thick skin and that someone means enough to you to try and work it out, in my opinion.
It shouldn't be any different regardless of who's being cheating with who....but it does

yellum

Originally posted by STaN
It sounds pretty shitty, but I'd like to shed a light on how a typical gay guy MIGHT be thinking...


And heres a reply from another typical gay guy.


If som1 tells me their BI, i tend to prejudge them.

The glb community has fought and fights prejudices every day. It still surprises me that some people who get singled out for their sexuality can then prejudge and be prejudiced.


Why? I probably shouldn't but I do and I've been preconditioned by stories from friends and even to a certain extent by the story of a gay couple in Hollyoaks & one of them is BI, and rips the other guy's heart out.


We have heard and seen the same thing about gay people on tv shows and stories from our friends. Look at how many straight people are preconditioned that gay men are aids ridden and promiscuous

A guy i liked and who liked me, i had allot of issues with. One day straight, another gay. I found myself thinking "make up yer mind to what you want", he didn't and nothing much came of it.

I had the same experience with a guy liek that, wanting me to sleep with him one minute and pushing me away the next going "ewwww I'm not gay" He was just confused and ****ed up. Thats not the same thing as bisexual.


But in reality it would always be in the back of my mind, that he likes girls.

Yes but he also likes guys. Theres no major difference when it comes to trusting someone and being comfortable with them. He accepts who you are and you should accept who he is. I agree with Corrie Fan and Claire H. He can just as easily cheat with a guy.


Man & Woman is the natural union.

So are other unions such as same sex unions unnatural ? People have been imprisoned and died in Ireland let alone the rest of the world fighting peacefully for them to lead their own lives and not have people tell them what they do is unnatural.

Corega

Originally posted by STaN
It sounds pretty shitty, but I'd like to shed a light on how a typical gay guy MIGHT be thinking...

If som1 tells me their BI, i tend to prejudge them. Why? I probably shouldn't but I do and I've been preconditioned by stories from friends and even to a certain extent by the story of a gay couple in Hollyoaks & one of them is BI, and rips the other guy's heart out. (yes i know its a TV show, but still - it all ads up). A guy i liked and who liked me, i had allot of issues with. One day straight, another gay. I found myself thinking "make up yer mind to what you want", he didn't and nothing much came of it.

It comes down to trust, and to me the scene is showing itself to be not all that full of trustworth people, just jumping relationships for some1 slightly better model.

Now if i met a BI guy I liked and we dated, i would trust him until i had a reason to believe otherwise. But in reality it would always be in the back of my mind, that he likes girls. Man & Woman is the natural union.

I'm very surprised at that comment Dave, personally I always thought gay people, i.e. lesbians and homosexuals were the least prejudiced of all people, save maybe Jew's. Largely because they've been oppressed for years. And yet I see this and I'm thinking "How the hell can gay people be so stereotypical", and while I realise I'm being stereotypical myself I can't help but getting that vibe.

And fair enough, man and woman is the natural union, bit like a plug and a socket, but ultimately the natural thing is whatever the person feels.

Dave, you know yourself that you can't judge people on account of one instance, even if it does repeat itself on Hollyoaks. I'd like to think of you as a clever lad, I know you are, so please, while you still have the time to edit that post...do so.

azezil

I stand by my earlier point, different people can choose to dislike a certain group for one reason or another, one's sexuality does not, in my opinion, have any major baring on it. Its just something that is or is not in your nature, how u were raised. Yes some gay people are very bitchy and close minded but no more so than any other 'sexuality group'. :rolleyes:

yellum

Yes Azezil, but one would expect people who have been subjected to narrowmindedness and backward thinking because of their sexuality might actually in some way become enlightened and have had their mind opened about others sexualities.

Sadly not.

I know a few bisexuals and they are fine well balanced people.

STaN

Are you saying then that, it feels worse for , someone you go out with , who is BI , to dump you for a girl??
In other words that if , he leaves you for another man , it feels bad, but not as bad as if it's for a woman?

YES. Leaving for any reason is obviously bad. But if he then got with a girl, something would enter my mind about him being BI. What? I dunno, i've yet to be in that situation.

Personally I *would* feel worse if my guy left me for a girl, but that wouldn't stop me from going out with and trying to love someone who is Bisexual when we fancy each other and get on.

Why would you feel worse if a guy left you for a girl? It *might* be a possibility that this woman fits better into what he wants from a relationship. Long term marraige, kids etc etc *shrug*

When the trust leaves the relationship, it's probably time to move on, unless you have a thick skin and that someone means enough to you to try and work it out, in my opinion.
It shouldn't be any different regardless of who's being cheating with who....but it does

I have not yet gone out with a BI guy, not even turned one down. Maybe i haven't gone near them on Gaydar, but if i met a guy in a bar and he said he was BI and we got on and liked each other, then it wouldn't bother me. Although if he started any of this "unsure" crap or started telling me about girls he fancied, i'd seriously consider if i wanted to be in that relationship, because to me, all the stuff i've heard would pop into my mind.

STaN

The glb community has fought and fights prejudices every day. It still surprises me that some people who get singled out for their sexuality can then prejudge and be prejudiced.

If you hear a rumour about some1, from 2/3 people and you meet that person, all having told you the same story - would you say you would face them with a clear head and not have any of those peoples comments even have a factor at any time now or in the future.

We have heard and seen the same thing about gay people on tv shows and stories from our friends. Look at how many straight people are preconditioned that gay men are aids ridden and promiscuous

Taking away the aids part, is the second completely untrue? I don't watch much TV - that was one show that showed something i had heard about in real life.

I had the same experience with a guy liek that, wanting me to sleep with him one minute and pushing me away the next going "ewwww I'm not gay" He was just confused and ****ed up. Thats not the same thing as bisexual.

I agree, but before 25, can people that say their BI know what they really want. This i think is one of the main factors for my thinking. They might really like the idea of being with a guy for a while, then for any uncalculatable amount of reasons, choose switch preferences.


Yes but he also likes guys. Theres no major difference when it comes to trusting someone and being comfortable with them. He accepts who you are and you should accept who he is. I agree with Corrie Fan and Claire H. He can just as easily cheat with a guy.

He can, but cheating is cheating. He just has twice as many people to cheat with IF he is that sort of (would u call them a person?)

So are other unions such as same sex unions unnatural ? People have been imprisoned and died in Ireland let alone the rest of the world fighting peacefully for them to lead their own lives and not have people tell them what they do is unnatural.

Not saying its unnatural.. its happening in nature. i.e. not a freak occurance i.e. unnatural. But MAN <-> WOMAN is the original way our biology works. The A connects to the B and gives another A or a B.

LegacyUser

Originally posted by STaN
Personally I *would* feel worse if my guy left me for a girl, but that wouldn't stop me from going out with and trying to love someone who is Bisexual when we fancy each other and get on.

Why would you feel worse if a guy left you for a girl? It *might* be a possibility that this woman fits better into what he wants from a relationship. Long term marraige, kids etc etc *shrug*

Probably because in that case ultimately, I couldnt give him what, the girl can, ie what you mention, kids, the "normal" family life etc.
The "letting go" would to my mind be much tougher in that case, if you really liked the guy, 'cause you would be torn between, the realisation that , it's nice for him to be happy and the fact that it is not you thats making him happy.

Although if he started any of this "unsure" crap or started telling me about girls he fancied, i'd seriously consider if i wanted to be in that relationship, because to me, all the stuff i've heard would pop into my mind.

Well there you have it, you see, you've more or less the same underlying fear of losing the guy to a girl as I'd have.

Thats understandable, but shouldn't be allowed by you to rear it's head as a feeling at all, in choosing who you'd go out with, to be honest for two reasons in my opinion;

(i) Because when you are in a relationship with a person, whether they are Bi or not, it's the trust ( or sometimes thrust ) between the two of you that matters, and once thats there, the fact that the other person did at one time and is still capable of fancying girls , shouldn't come into it at all.
I'm sure you wouldn't mind him talking about the boys he fancied, or at least you shouldn't.
and (ii) If the relationship ends for any reason including, the guy going to a girl, then it has ended. That might never happen, so it's no reason to rule out something that might be beautiful ( God I'm feeling so Nice tonight... )

yellum

Originally posted by STaN

If you hear a rumour about some1, from 2/3 people and you meet that person, all having told you the same story - would you say you would face them with a clear head and not have any of those peoples comments even have a factor at any time now or in the future.


You were not talking about a *specific* person in your original reply. You were talking about if you met a bi guy and you said you'd be prejudiced.

If I hear rumours about someone from 2/3 people I might be wary but I would not prejudge someone and I'd like to think other people wouldn't prejudge me from what others have said about me. Its better to make up your own opinion about someone.

Taking away the aids part, is the second completely untrue? I don't watch much TV - that was one show that showed something i had heard about in real life.

So do you not trust any gay person ? Or any bi person ? TV shows show people cheating on their partners all the time. Guys leaving girls for another girl or guy and viceversa. Just because the same thing happens in real life shouldn't tar everyone.

I agree, but before 25, can people that say their BI know what they really want.

Can people that are gay say they are really gay ? What significance does the 25 year mark represent ? People can be sure of their sexuality at age 10 or might not know til they're 70. Its different for each person.

then for any uncalculatable amount of reasons, choose to switch preferences.

So you're saying that sexuality is a choice ? Or that Bisexual people choose to be with one sex after a while ? Surely they might settle for one sex as they want to spend their life with one person of whatever sex. A lot of us want to settle with someone eventually.


He can, but cheating is cheating. He just has twice as many people to cheat with IF he is that sort of (would u call them a person?)

That again goes back to trust. So because theres more choice theres a greater chance you will be dropped ?


Not saying its unnatural.. its happening in nature. i.e. not a freak occurance i.e. unnatural.

You said a man and woman union is the natural way. So what is a samesex union , is this natural or is it unnatural or is there another defintion ?

Is 10% a freak occurance then ?

Do you class yourself as not being normal ?

claire h

Taking away the aids part, is the second completely untrue?
Erm. Yes. Or rather, if gay men are promiscuous (despite the fact that making generalisations about a group is just silly), they are no more promiscuous than straight men.

...but before 25, can people that say their BI know what they really want.
And that would be another YES they can. What is this prejudice you seem to have against a) young people and b) bisexual people?

He just has twice as many people to cheat with...
Oh, for f**k's sake. Just because someone is bisexual doesn't mean they're attracted to twice as many people. It just takes one person to cheat on someone with.

Tusky

congratz Andy, ( now I know why you wanted me to come to all those lans , I know im irresistible ) lol

STaN

You were not talking about a *specific* person in your original reply. You were talking about if you met a bi guy and you said you'd be prejudiced.

No i wasnt, i was talking about hearing stories about one person :rolleyes: . That comment was illustrative (illustrative that me hearing things, has some influence on my thoughts)

Taking away the aids part, is the second completely untrue? I don't watch much TV - that was one show that showed something i had heard about in real life.

You said: "Look at how many straight people are preconditioned that gay men are aids ridden and promiscuous"

I made the omment that not everything is untrue. Some guys are promiscuoes gay or straight. So its not completely untrue that some guys are. TV has backed up something for me that i thought in relation to BiSexual people.

So do you not trust any gay person ? Or any bi person ?

I said twice above that i do trust.

Can people that are gay say they are really gay ? What significance does the 25 year mark represent ? People can be sure of their sexuality at age 10 or might not know til they're 70. Its different for each person.

Yes its different for every person. By 25 in my opinion, most people know where they are going. Note:MOST (before u point out your case).

STaN: then for any uncalculatable amount of reasons, choose to switch preferences.

Yellum: So you're saying that sexuality is a choice ? Or that Bisexual people choose to be with one sex after a while ? Surely they might settle for one sex as they want to spend their life with one person of whatever sex. A lot of us want to settle with someone eventually.

No its not a choice. Maybe they have family pressures to marry. Maybe they want girls not boys at that stage. Maybe its easier for them to comprehend a woman so he can have kids. For "uncalculatable" reasons - stuff going on in the brain unconscious? I duno. Your with a person because you like them. So the clarification is that they MAY choose conciously or otherwise to try another sex after a while. And yes they will choose a person who fits their criteria.

That again goes back to trust. So because theres more choice theres a greater chance you will be dropped ?

Again, in my post, i said IF he was that sort of person, yes.

STaN: Not saying its unnatural.. its happening in nature. i.e. not a freak occurance i.e. unnatural. But MAN <-> WOMAN is the original way our biology works. The A connects to the B and gives another A or a B.

Yellum: You said a man and woman union is the natural way. So what is a samesex union , is this natural or is it unnatural or is there another defintion ?

Is 10% a freak occurance then ?

Do you class yourself as not being normal ?

The other definition is GAY. Gay has been defined in another thread. I clarified in my thread that i wasnt saying its unnatural or a freak occurance.

DapperGent

I'm pretty jealous Corega to be honest.

It must be truly liberating to decide who you'd like to have a relationship with without them having to be of an appropriate gender first.

I'd love to be bi-sexual. I'm not though.

BuffyBot

Yes Azezil, but one would expect people who have been subjected to narrowmindedness and backward thinking because of their sexuality might actually in some way become enlightened and have had their mind opened about others sexualities.

You might expect it, but some people will always defy categorization no matter what their sexuality.

yellum

Originally posted by BuffyBot
You might expect it, but some people will always defy categorization no matter what their sexuality.

or personal experiences ..

Yes very true BuffyBot

yellum

Getting back on track about bisexuality a girl on the gaycork.com website posted a very good summary of what bisexuality meant to her. It was really well said:

Link here

tendofan

I dunno, I've always disliked labels, as much for a tendency to "act out" the implications of the label as much as for the facile, discriminatory nature of a label in the first place - and I apply that to those who label themselves as much as those who label others.

I've never particularly bought into the notion of the exclusivity of gender preference either - that is not to say that one doesn't/shouldn't have a preference, but rather that sexuality is a continuum and that many people are have what one might call "a touch of the other" in them (fnarr fnarr) and can find themselves falling for either gender. (There's a whole discussion to be had on how much society and upbringing impacts on the expression of that I suppose...)

In any event, like who you like and to hell with the labels. :-)


Tendofan

---

"Mother, I've something to tell you."
"Okay son."
"I'm *sob* a post-structuralist!"

Pepe LeFrits

Don't see what the big bruhaha about coming out as bi is, doesn't strike me as a big deal... it seems fairly common now. anyway, enjoy it andy. bigger barrel to fish in!

and i agree with tendofan. why label yourself.

wheelie bin

You need to distinguish between a label and an indentity. Lots of people have difficulty coming out as gay or bi. It can be very important to a person to declare or discuss their sexual identity openly. So a dismissive 'yawn, why label yourself' isn't always the most constructive response. It can be tantamount to inviting a person to deny their sexuality or avoid discussing it.

If you are queer, then dentifying as queer isn't some shallow label. It's part what makes you who you are. There is nothing 'facile' about it. It's part of your identity.

:cool: