Most useless thing ever

uch · 13-01-2018 1:57am #1

Whats the most useless thing ever invented, for me I think it's toilet wipes, for fecks sake if you cant wipe yer arsé in your adult years there's a problem that needs to be addressed

whats yours

jonon9 · 13-01-2018 2:02am

The Irish Judicial system.

VW 1 · 13-01-2018 2:04am

I'll go old school and say, tits on a nun?

Barry Badrinath · 13-01-2018 2:08am

7 minute abs.

Roger Hassenforder · 13-01-2018 2:15am

'Responsive site'

Jim Bob Scratcher · 13-01-2018 2:16am

Donald Trump

jonon9 · 13-01-2018 2:23am

Decking. The amount of times iv nearly slipped and smash my face repairing people's decking. Fecking useless things.

Nekarsulm · 13-01-2018 2:23am

"Persona" contraception kit.

Stephen15 · 13-01-2018 2:24am

jonon9 wrote: »

Decking. The amount of times iv nearly slipped and smash my face repairing people's decking. Fecking useless things.

You wouldn't be saying that if ya got a payout

Morpork · 13-01-2018 2:25am

Barry Badrinath wrote: »

7 minute abs.

It was great until they invented 6 minute abs.

Roger Hassenforder · 13-01-2018 2:31am

jonon9 wrote: »

Decking. The amount of times iv nearly slipped and smash my face repairing people's decking. Fecking useless things.

Rats love it though

Stonedpilot · 13-01-2018 2:35am

Scented toilet paper
Leo Varadkar

Atlantic Dawn · 13-01-2018 2:38am

Dpf filters on diesel cars in absolute fooking complete ****ehole countries like Ireland that don't actually measure any Nox emissions whatsoever at NCT time. The Green Party should be hung high for crimes against humanity, joke of an organisation recommending wood burning stoves in built up areas too, they are up there with the Nazis.

jonon9 · 13-01-2018 2:41am

Stephen15 wrote: »

You wouldn't be saying that if ya got a payout

Depends, Im not a compo rat.

James Bond Junior · 13-01-2018 2:41am

Enda Kenny. The Catholic church. Donald Trump. Pro lifers. Any other edgy things I can suggest?

NinetyTwoTeam · 13-01-2018 2:46am

Cigarette filters. Yeah, that'll stop the cancer.

Headphones that cost less then a tenner. Music will be inaudible on the street and either one of 2 things is guaranteed to happen: one earbud completely dies or the wire near the plug makes a crackly sound when it is moved. Usually after about a week of use.

The corner on a packet of ham that says 'open here', you pull it and all that happens is the little corner bit rips off and the packet still ain't open. And they say resealable sometimes but never are.

The worst though is the ding! sound a non digital microwave timer makes when it finishes cooking. Why do we need this to happen when the timer gets to zero, the frigging thing shuts off at that point anyway so there's no danger of overcooking, and I don't think I've ever been more than a meter or so away anytime I'm nuking something, it's not like I'm gonna forget about it and it will get cold, and even if it did, the whole point of the thing is it can heat stuff back up quickly. I doubt most people even cook things to exact time increments. Plus I don't need an alarm to notify everyone in the house that I'm stuffing my fat face at 2 am.

fonecrusher1 · 13-01-2018 2:46am

Dublin

Beanntraigheach · 13-01-2018 2:47am

Penicillin

muppetshow1451 · 13-01-2018 2:48am

European union

the_pen_turner · 13-01-2018 2:54am

I have to agree with 92 . it has to be resalable packets. a right pain to open sometimes and then zero ability to reseal. how does it get past the design stage. completely useless

LarryGraham · 13-01-2018 3:02am

Neoliberalism. Third/fourth (not sure what ordinal number it's on now) feminism.

Nekarsulm · 13-01-2018 3:02am

92, microwaves go "ding" because they are often out in the utility room (in case they give you cancer!),
And the most useless packaging has to be the type of plastic that dry pasta comes in.
No matter how you open the bag, it tears down the side spilling penne everywhere.

Stonedpilot · 13-01-2018 3:03am

James Bond Junior wrote: »

Enda Kenny. The Catholic church. Donald Trump. Pro lifers. Any other edgy things I can suggest?

A edgy suggestion.

Pro (abortion) death before birthers?.

SlowBlowin · 13-01-2018 3:14am

The wife's navigation/map reading skills

NinetyTwoTeam · 13-01-2018 3:27am

LarryGraham wrote: »

Neoliberalism. Third/fourth (not sure what ordinal number it's on now) feminism.

They're not as bad as people who have to ruin fun threads with political vomit that is a million miles away from the spirit of the thread. Talk about useless.

NinetyTwoTeam · 13-01-2018 3:35am

Nekarsulm wrote: »

92, microwaves go "ding" because they are often out in the utility room (in case they give you cancer!),
And the most useless packaging has to be the type of plastic that dry pasta comes in.
No matter how you open the bag, it tears down the side spilling penne everywhere.

Sorry but I'd say 90% of all Irish households have the microwave in the kitchen and most don't even have a utility room. And any radiation from a microwave is so miniscule it's been largely accepted there is no danger at all to be near it when operating.

We do not need the ding. End of.

muppetshow1451 · 13-01-2018 3:36am

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

Sorry but I'd say 90% of all Irish households have the microwave in the kitchen and most don't even have a utility room. And any radiation from a microwave is so miniscule it's been largely accepted there is no danger at all to be near it when operating.

We do not need the ding. End of.

Popcorn:D

NinetyTwoTeam · 13-01-2018 3:58am

muppetshow1451 wrote: »

Popcorn:D

No way, for popcorn you have to stand at the ready to switch the thing off as soon as the popping slows down. Otherwise you get burnt popcorn which is like the blue waffle of foods.

muppetshow1451 · 13-01-2018 4:06am

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

No way, for popcorn you have to stand at the ready to switch the thing off as soon as the popping slows down. Otherwise you get burnt popcorn which is like the blue waffle of foods.

its all about timing and years of experience:D

Donald Trump · 13-01-2018 6:50am

Jim Bob Scratcher wrote: »

Donald Trump

Fuck you too

con___manx1 · 13-01-2018 6:52am

jonon9 wrote: »

The Irish Judicial system.

Its an absolute sham. The transport system is also a sham.

con___manx1 · 13-01-2018 6:56am

Heated toilet seats

kneemos · 13-01-2018 7:45am

Was buying a motorbike about ten years ago or so,yer man goes into salesman of the month mode with extras such as boots,gloves,helmet etc.
Anyway I buy a few bits and just as I was gathering up and heading for the door he says how about an ashtray? I says no thanks sure I don't even smoke.

17togo · 13-01-2018 8:21am

3 pages in a nobody has said "the wife"!? :-D

*looking over shoulder*

Neither will I, she's amazing!!!!

Stoner · 13-01-2018 8:55am

Electric car seats, slow and needles expense in a car,
They get good when then hold and remember a programmable position but useless up to that.

Microwave dings are necessary
Microwave popcorn is very bad for you anyway

stampydmonkey · 13-01-2018 9:05am

The office computer network...f****n useless.. . Followed extremely closely by the IT dept responsible for it.

Yet to come across a company with a decent one.

gifted · 13-01-2018 9:10am

Lord Mayors....pure and utter expensive ****e...

Your Face · 13-01-2018 9:11am

About 20% of the people in my company.

kneemos · 13-01-2018 9:20am

Stoner wrote: »

Electric car seats, slow and needles expense in a car,
They get good when then hold and remember a programmableo position but useless up to that.

Microwave dings are necessary
Microwave popcorn is very bad for you anyway

Electric everything in a car is pointless apart from windows. Doors in particular are pure ridiculous.

ouxbbkqtswdfaw · 13-01-2018 10:05am

VW 1 wrote:

I'll go old school and say, tits on a nun?

Why, are you so insulting?

Sue Pa Key Pa · 13-01-2018 6:30pm

Irish translations on State documents

corner of hells · 13-01-2018 6:51pm

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

Cigarette filters. Yeah, that'll stop the cancer.

Headphones that cost less then a tenner. Music will be inaudible on the street and either one of 2 things is guaranteed to happen: one earbud completely dies or the wire near the plug makes a crackly sound when it is moved. Usually after about a week of use.

The corner on a packet of ham that says 'open here', you pull it and all that happens is the little corner bit rips off and the packet still ain't open. And they say resealable sometimes but never are.

The worst though is the ding! sound a non digital microwave timer makes when it finishes cooking. Why do we need this to happen when the timer gets to zero, the frigging thing shuts off at that point anyway so there's no danger of overcooking, and I don't think I've ever been more than a meter or so away anytime I'm nuking something, it's not like I'm gonna forget about it and it will get cold, and even if it did, the whole point of the thing is it can heat stuff back up quickly. I doubt most people even cook things to exact time increments. Plus I don't need an alarm to notify everyone in the house that I'm stuffing my fat face at 2 am.

Just eat all the ham in one go , that'll teach the packet.

Take the microwave apart and remove the "ding" , be aware of radioactive **** or something.

Mmmm cigarettes.

Stephen15 · 13-01-2018 6:52pm

The edit reason (optional) section when you go to edit a post. What's the point if it's optional.

kneemos · 13-01-2018 6:59pm

The KPMG bloke on the Lotto.

parttime · 13-01-2018 7:08pm

Vouge Williams.
Did anybody see her on celebrity mastermind?
Embarrassing

Cee-Jay-Cee · 13-01-2018 7:18pm

Chocolate teapot
Ashtray for a motorbike

mrhoppy · 19-01-2018 3:42am

IT Tallaght

Cookie_Monster · 19-01-2018 3:45am

twitter

prinzeugen · 19-01-2018 3:48am

Mahogany gas pipe and so called "cold remedies"

Both fecking useless.. Square hoops, sprout wine?

I should open a shop. Grot sounds like a good name!

cycle4fun · 19-01-2018 4:02am

Sue Pa Key Pa wrote: »

Irish translations on State documents

And translating EU business documents in to Irish, ffs, at a cost of millions!

As if anyone is ever going to read them in Irish. No wonder the EU will fall apart.
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/politics/irish-translation-of-european-parliament-documents-costing-43-per-page-1.3203792

diomed · 19-01-2018 4:42am

Toenails.

Most useless thing ever

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