Online Dating?

the glass woman · 13-05-2010 10:22pm #1

Just wondering have any of you had any good experiences with online dating, or would you consider giving it a go? I'm in two minds about trying it, i've been in a relationship all my adult life and now that i'm back to square one on the dating front I haven't got a clue how to go about it, also wouldn't be overly confident at the moment either.

Generally I would prefer to meet guys in person, and just see if there's a spark etc, or flirt a bit, but I'm not in a position to go out every weekend, plus I reckon most guys would run a mile when they find out 1) I am married, technically, 2) I have a young son, and 3) I'm 31.

Anyway just wondering what people think! Thanking you

princess-lala · 14-05-2010 9:05am

A friend of mine has recently started internet dating and usually goes for an evening coffee first.

She wouldnt be in a position to go out every weekend either, Id say go for it

Sorry I dont have more info

Maple · 14-05-2010 10:02am

Yep, have done it in the past.

My rule (actually my father's rule , he met his wife online:D) (how depressing is it to take dating advice from your Dad!) is 3-4 messages and a date. You're not looking for a pen friend, you need to find out if there's a spark between ye so be a bit tough about it.

A coffee is a good idea, or maybe Tapas (menu gives you a focus and it's not an actual sit-down dinner).

Just have fun with it tho, if you get too stressed about it then it's horrible. Just go with an open mind and try and have a bit of craic.

Best of luck.

Snoopy1 · 14-05-2010 10:32am

Im doing it now.
I can honestly say its good and bad. When i first went online it really boosted my confidence to get all these replies from men.
I went on a few dates, some good and some bad.
I did meet one weirdo, who hasnt left me alone, but also met one nice person as well.
Im still looking though and im going on another date next week.

Give it a go, just for the experience

the glass woman · 14-05-2010 11:40am

Thanks everyone,

I had a quick look at a site yesterday, and I found myself just scanning through them totally judging the guys on looks alone, and to be honest i just felt so shallow!

Then i was thinking, what are the chances of there being really nice, genuine guys out there, and if they are then why do they've to resort to online dating in the first place, I know that sounds terrible (and i know the same can be said for me, its just down to circumstance etc).

Black Swan · 14-05-2010 11:43am

I've made a few grand friends on boards.ie

the glass woman · 14-05-2010 11:47am

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

I've made a few grand friends on boards.ie

Have loads of friends, was looking for something more

Funky Kingston · 14-05-2010 11:48am

the glass woman wrote: »

Thanks everyone,

I had a quick look at a site yesterday, and I found myself just scanning through them totally judging the guys on looks alone, and to be honest i just felt so shallow!

Then i was thinking, what are the chances of there being really nice, genuine guys out there, and if they are then why do they've to resort to online dating in the first place, I know that sounds terrible (and i know the same can be said for me, its just down to circumstance etc).

I met a guy online and it was good , it was'nt through a dating site but honestly i think just open your mind and go for it !
Go to a public place to meet first and see how it goes , and i guess people will put the BEST pic they have of themselves up there so it is no harm to judge a little bit ! I mean if he is a nice guy and a lil delish its a bouns!!!

Good luck and have fun!

minidazzler · 14-05-2010 12:25pm

the glass woman wrote: »

Thanks everyone,

I had a quick look at a site yesterday, and I found myself just scanning through them totally judging the guys on looks alone, and to be honest i just felt so shallow!

Then i was thinking, what are the chances of there being really nice, genuine guys out there, and if they are then why do they've to resort to online dating in the first place, I know that sounds terrible (and i know the same can be said for me, its just down to circumstance etc).

You are allowed be shallow, why would you talk to a potential suitor who you aren't attracted to? It isn't shallow to only date people you are attracted to TBH.

Sarah** · 14-05-2010 12:42pm

I have met two people from an online site and they werent dating sites but both guys were absolutly lovely and both could have worked out but the distance kept it from functioning.

Give it a go for sure!! I just registered with a dating site and I am loving it!

Wendy2000 · 14-05-2010 1:09pm

HI Ya

i have tried internet dating and its good fun, and a good way to get out and do different things you may not like to do on your own!

i usually keep it simple coffee or lunch so its also in an open enviroment instead of the 2 pple together to talk about! when your out for walk or that is more relaxed and conversation comes naturally,

some lads look for one thing as some girls do too but there are nice lads out there im kinda seeing one at the minute lovely gent, give it a bash you got nothing to loose, if you want to pm work away!

Snoopy1 · 14-05-2010 2:30pm

the glass woman wrote: »

Thanks everyone,

Then i was thinking, what are the chances of there being really nice, genuine guys out there, and if they are then why do they've to resort to online dating in the first place, I know that sounds terrible (and i know the same can be said for me, its just down to circumstance etc).

you have to get out of this mindset. Im online dating and its because i dont have many friends (due to coming out of a long term relationship), so dont go out that much so never get a chance to meet blokes. And if your on an online dating site the same could be said for you what you think about them!!!
I never look at their pictures. If the conversation goes well at first then i start to look at their pictures.
I met a really lovely guy, who last week came to Ikea with me and then proceeded to put a chest of drawers together for me!!!!

smallgarden · 14-05-2010 3:20pm

Snoopy1 wrote: »

you have to get out of this mindset. Im online dating and its because i dont have many friends (due to coming out of a long term relationship), so dont go out that much so never get a chance to meet blokes. And if your on an online dating site the same could be said for you what you think about them!!!
I never look at their pictures. If the conversation goes well at first then i start to look at their pictures.
I met a really lovely guy, who last week came to Ikea with me and then proceeded to put a chest of drawers together for me!!!!

fair play to him!what site are u using snoopy if u dont mind me asking

alwaysadub · 14-05-2010 9:44pm

I've met up twice with fellas from an online dating site.
The first lad i was texting and talking on msn for ages with-i was a bit wary bout actually meeting him-but by the time we met up, it felt more like meeting up with a friend than a date. So as someone else said, don't message each other too long-it can go pearshaped!!
The other lad was sound enough,went out a few times, but just didn't work out.
I never thought they were weird or anything cos they were on a dating site, nearly every fella i've talked to was either sick of the pub/club scene, or knew people who'd gotten together on these sites.
I'd say go for it OP,sure you never know,could meet the love of your life

Snoopy1 · 15-05-2010 12:22pm

I have a couple of dates next week

ERR! · 15-05-2010 1:26pm

Snoopy1 wrote: »

I have a couple of dates next week

ohhh go you :P hwo many is a couple??:P

Snoopy1 · 15-05-2010 2:48pm

2 in one day!!!!
Dont whether its going to be fun or mad!!!

mariaalice · 15-05-2010 4:17pm

I am just after looking at a media message from a male friend of mine its gorgeous photo of a new baby....the parents are in their late 30ths and meet on a dating site....

I met my partner on a dating site.

go for it what have you got to lose... just be sensible about it.

jenny4385 · 15-05-2010 4:19pm

give speed dating a go??

two dates in a day?? what site ya using?!?!?!? (just before i apply to join the convent.. safest option!!)

Snoopy1 · 15-05-2010 4:30pm

I know didn't plann to have the 2 in one day, but its the only day i have free.

Snoopy1 · 15-05-2010 4:33pm

Im not sure what either of them look like either

jenny4385 · 15-05-2010 4:33pm

lol love it

Snoopy1 · 15-05-2010 4:41pm

Think im out of my depth with one of them, but will meet them anyway and see how we get on

what2do · 18-05-2010 11:31pm

What sites are ye on.. something I've thought about then got sidetracked (ie by a man), so back thinking of it again!!!

welshlady2010 · 19-05-2010 3:17pm

sorry just new to this how did you get on with the on line dating ,i am thirty five looking for someone new sick of the same fellas around the place which dating site did you find good Why do I feel I will meet someone dangerous isnt that stupid.........huh

PCPhoto · 19-05-2010 3:56pm

Apologies for interrupting....

As a male I'd like to throw out that us males also face the same problems in the online world of dating:

- Not all guys online are looking for sex
- Not all male internet users are nerds
- Not all male internet users are capable of holding a conversation or debating a topic.
- Finding time to actually meet someone is the hardest part (for both sexes)

Generally - people that dont post a pic are embarrassed about internet dating - that doesnt mean that they are ugly/married ...just that they are aftaid of people they know looking at their profile/pics .... but be prepared for guys that use internet dating for sex ...ie. Married or even attached guys.

I met my missus a few years ago on an online site, we were together about a year ....and recently got back together again.

Snoopy1 · 19-05-2010 5:46pm

Well i had 2 dates yesterday and one today.
The one last night was awful, but the other two were lovely.
So fingers crossed

Ash.J.Williams · 19-05-2010 5:56pm

the glass woman wrote: »

Just wondering have any of you had any good experiences with online dating, or would you consider giving it a go? I'm in two minds about trying it, i've been in a relationship all my adult life and now that i'm back to square one on the dating front I haven't got a clue how to go about it, also wouldn't be overly confident at the moment either.

Generally I would prefer to meet guys in person, and just see if there's a spark etc, or flirt a bit, but I'm not in a position to go out every weekend, plus I reckon most guys would run a mile when they find out 1) I am married, technically, 2) I have a young son, and 3) I'm 31.

Anyway just wondering what people think! Thanking you

Ok!! I did it once, and was quite shy about it, however met a cool woman straight away, but i didn't want it to go to far as i didn't thnk she was my type.....however....then nothing, barely a reply from anyone, I was actually slightly concerned as i've never had any issues in dealing with people, then i went over my profile months later to make sure all was ok.....
well it wasn't...here is what my profile said:

HIV - ask me later

How dare they judge me!!

johnr1 · 20-05-2010 1:28am

Ive been on several dating sites over the last 12 months and the things Ive learned are:
1. You need to be on and looking yourself often to get interest as you show up in searches more if you are online more.
2. Most single women are in Dublin and Cork, most single guys in the rest of the country
3. Almost everybody is checking out photos before anything else.
4. The free sites attract more people who are just having a laugh
5. Everybody is flirting with people at the upper limit of their pulling range
6. If you dont have a picture up people wont respond as they assume the worst.
7. If youre a seperated man, women wont believe it. they think youre lying.
8. If youre a single mom with 2 or more kids you need to be stunning cos otherwise most guys wont want the hassle whatever they may say.

Dont shoot the messanger, these are just things I noticed.

no warranty for these ideas is implied or given :eek:

Online Dating?

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