How do people feel about being called love?

Peter Denham · 11-11-2018 2:55am

meeeeh wrote: »

The guy was not liked because how he spoke to people (hi pal is your boss around). You might think it's insanity I would rather think it's a lot better to spend what would be significant amount of money for us with someone we respect and someone who respects us.

Sounds like a pretty immature response to something that could have been fixed with a simple conversation among adults.

You'really certain he meant it in a disrespectful way, I can't really see how from the information you've given? Pal isn't really a word used to disrespect someone.

Funny if someone came into my job and said "Hi Pal, is the boss around?" I would forget about it after 5 seconds and never think of it again, but you stopped buying 200k worth of supplies from him, funny old world.

meeeeh · 11-11-2018 3:01am

Peter Denham wrote: »

Sounds like a pretty immature response to something that could have been fixed with a simple conversation among adults.

Why? They were selling to us, we buy from different suppliers. It was up to them to persuade us to buy from them. They didn't.

Peter Denham · 11-11-2018 3:06am

meeeeh wrote: »

Why? They were selling to us, we buy from different suppliers. It was up to them to persuade us to buy from them. They didn't.

You had an issue with his use of the world pal but didn't say anything to him then stopped working with him. Just doesn't seem like a reasonable response, but different strokes etc

The love thing there's a debate there maybe, at a stretch, if he says it even when asked to stop. This doesn't even compare to that though. He literally did nothing wrong, imo.

You also said that the elderly addressing people as love is a sign they are " losing it." You have a really odd perception of life.

1800_Ladladlad · 11-11-2018 3:18am

riclad wrote: »

i think its rude to call someone love in the work place,
its sexist, let love be used by people who are dating or in a relationship.
When you call someone love its like saying i like you. you must like me.
it could be sexist too.
its usually a man saying it to a woman,
its worse if the man is above the other person eg a manager talking to a secretary.
This is not the 70.s ,we should be able to refer to other people in a professional manner .
We have moved on a bit since then .
Things change ,people no longer smoke at work .Most people don,t drink
and then drive home .
Its patronising ,like you should not call someone older girl,
any female over 18 is a woman.
the problem is if you are in charge of someone,
They may be insulted but they may be afraid to complain about it it.
theres no point in saying i live in a certain area ,
so That means i can act like a moron or an idiot
and call anyone anything i like.

Red alert. Jaysus love

meeeeh · 11-11-2018 3:29am

Peter Denham wrote: »

You also said that the elderly addressing people as love is a sign they are " losing it." You have a really odd perception of life.

That was tongue in cheek comment. What I meant is that I am prepared to make allowances for people who grew up when dinosaurs were still roaming around.

Peter Denham wrote: »

Funny if someone came into my job and said "Hi Pal, is the boss around?" I would forget about it after 5 seconds and never think of it again, but you stopped buying 200k worth of supplies from him, funny old world.

What I was explaining were phone conversations. Anyway if someone with attitude like that actually comes to us they are usually selling tools that either fell of the truck or lack safety certs. Not something you want to deal with more than necessary and buying an odd time just to stay friendly with them.

This might be unfair generalisation but the fact is we project certain things about ourselves and what we think of others by how we address people. Did Op handle the situation well? No. But she is right to expect to be addressed in neutral way when in professional environment working. Especially after she asked the other person to stop.

Peter Denham · 11-11-2018 3:47am

meeeeh wrote: »

That was tongue in cheek comment. What I meant is that I am prepared to make allowances for people who grew up when dinosaurs were still roaming around.

What I was explaining were phone conversations. Anyway if someone with attitude like that actually comes to us they are usually selling tools that either fell of the truck or lack safety certs. Not something you want to deal with more than necessary and buying an odd time just to stay friendly with them.

You're pretty disrespectful regarding the elderly. I always find that people that get offended easily are often very disrespectful themselves.

The use of the word pal shouldn't conjure up any of those images that you have, you have a completely distorted view and what the term means.

This reminds me of the time me and my Polish housemate went for drinks. We were fairly tipsy and a bouncer was reluctant to let us and in asked where we were coming from. My housemate squared up to him and called him a ****ing racist and that was the end of our night out. To this day he won't accept that that's not what the question meant.

The point being our initial perception isn't always the right one.

meeeeh · 11-11-2018 4:04am

Peter Denham wrote: »

The point being our initial perception isn't always the right one.

You are right there and you won't make it past the initial perception if you behave like an arse addressing people.

I'm not going to challenge any other assumptions about how easily offended I am, my apparent disrespect for elderly or what bouncers are like. Those are your impressions of me and that's fine, I don't need to have a any type of relationship with you except a discussion on Boards when I can't sleep. But when we are at work we have to be a bit more careful because how we address others might matter.

Peter Denham · 11-11-2018 4:09am

meeeeh wrote: »

You are right there and you won't make it past the initial perception if you behave like an arse addressing people.

I'm not going to challenge any other assumptions about how easily offended I am, my apparent disrespect for elderly or what bouncers are like.

Saying "hi pal" isn't being an arse. If you think it is then you're way too easily offended. Hate to break it to you but you sound like a very unreasonable person.

With "love" there's a discussion to be had on sexism given the context, if you're that way inclined, I'm not really. Called love all the time and doesn't bother me one bit.
Pal doesn't have any other interpretation.
Your claim that it is too informal for your already informal and banterful work place doesn't make sense to me.

meeeeh · 11-11-2018 4:23am

Peter Denham wrote: »

Saying "hi pal" isn't being an arse. If you think it is then you're way too easily offended. Hate to break it to you but you sound like a very unreasonable person.

With "love" there's a discussion to be had on sexism given the context, if you're that way inclined, I'm not really. Called love all the time and doesn't bother me one bit.
Pal doesn't have any other interpretation.
Your claim that it is too informal for your already informal and banterful work place doesn't make sense to me.

I think you might be wrong there.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/pal

Peter Denham · 11-11-2018 4:31am

meeeeh wrote: »

I think you might be wrong there.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/pal

Sorry, I didn't realise the situation you described happened in a 1950's American gangster flick.

Nobody says it like that in Ireland. Or England for that matter. You're really clutching at straws to be offended. The information you described in no way suggests this man used the word pal in a threatening manner.

"Listen Pal, put your boss on the phone or there'll be trouble." Why were you buying supplies from Al Capone?

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 11-11-2018 4:53am

pumpkin4life wrote: »

If I was your manager I would actually be very concerned with this being an issue with you to be honest.

The problem with work based political correctness is not about about being offensive, but the inability for people to call out dumb decisions in the workplace due to having a label stuck on your head, sexist/racist/homophobic etc. This leads to a decline in the ability for your organization to perform and compete with other companies in the same field.

A lad I know used to work for a company that is trying to push for 50% of women in management. Apparently their revenue has been declining for the past couple of years, but it's a big unsolvable mystery why exactly that is.

:rolleyes:

Well, it’s a mistake to think correlation implies causation so they are right not to pin the revenue decline on any one thing until they can say for certain that it’s the reason. If they just decided that increased female management was to blame for decreased revenue and it turned out not to be the reason, they’d have wasted time and revenue on that assumption when they could have been trying to find the root of the problem.

Omackeral · 11-11-2018 8:22am

BBFAN wrote: »

Alright son.

BBFAN wrote: »

You okay son?

Calling me "son" doesn't bother me in the slightest so you can work away on that all you like, it's not a bother to me petal.

Ken. · 11-11-2018 9:16am

Mod- op has started a thread on this in the work problems forum.

How do people feel about being called love?

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