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I committed an assault :-/

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  • 08-04-2021 1:02am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am going to post this one anonymously back via my Irish IP as I am abroad at the moment and can't post privately. I am based out of Ireland and earlier today I took multiple connecting flights with a total journey time of over 30hrs long and medium haul with a long layover due Europe's closure and no easier transit options available. I'm a boards regular but prefer keep this anon.

    I arrived at my final destination with my wife and this is where the trouble starts, Basically I had a taxi driver attempt to scam me and things went south from there.

    My plan on arrival was to buy a local simcard and setup the local uber-like app (Actual Uber is banned where I am), its a similar situation to Ireland where Freeway is the dominant ride hailing app. You could only register for this app with a local number from the country I am in, stupid but ok, their rules. I was unable to find a local simcard due to people, fogged glasses with a mask, some airport kiosks were closed due to Covid and my wife complaining how it was a waste of money, I didn't have roaming, its not a EU country.

    So we emerged into the arrivals hall with our fully loaded trolly with 7 pieces of checked and carryon luggage, laptops etc. Then I went to withdraw local currency (Non-EU country) all cards blocked, due to the banking app rules from April 1st. I then changed most of my last Euros to local €50 and got back several thousand local money. By now my stress levels are skyrocketing and I am awake 30+ hrs in a sleep deprived state.

    We push our cart and are accosted by several touts offering taxi's I say no thanks and try to assess the situation, my wife starts fighting to just get a taxi, one guy approached me and I showed him the address and tried to do a deal asking him how much, his English was good and said "It's no problem I use meter" I figured what the hell ok, maybe he is legit, offering the meter sounds normal and legit.

    After a 25min drive of the worst driving imaginable and the driver not wearing a facemask we arrived 150m near to my destination, he was using google maps and got the destination wrong but close enough as I recognized the nearby petrol station as I had previously scoped out this airbnb on streetview to check the local enviorn.

    When we pulled up he tried to charge six times the actual fare (meter was rigged) saying the equivalent of €70 when it should have been €15 - €20. I explained to him very calmly and diplomatically that I was offering him €30 in Euro's and that this was even too much and to please take it. Then the arguing started and his English suddenly improved leaps and bounds, my wife was explaining that it is too expensive also and that I was paying him more than enough.

    With that I told her to stay quiet and to get out and remove our luggage which she started to do, then the driver jumped out and I immediately snapped his car keys and turned off the engine to prevent him doing a runner with our luggage.

    He then started screaming and in my face to return his keys, "my property" "my car" etc. I said I'll give you the keys when you open the boot and remove all my stuff which he did, then I returned the keys and gave him €30 and told him to leave and goodbye. He continued in his persistence for the rest of his money which I refused and told him I was calling the Police.

    With that he made a grab for my laptop bag and backpack on the footpath and said "I take you back to airport so if you won't pay me" and with that I hit him a powerful right hook into the throat and a secondary rabbit punch with my left and a brawl ensued and I fended him off and delivered a few slaps to him, he was around 3-4 inches taller than me but early forties wheras I am younger. He retreated into his car sore and left. In the confusion I failed to snap a photo of his registration but did claw back a €10 note so he left with just €20.

    I really feel bad I used violence to settle this but honestly I was so angry at this blatant ripoff attempt, it would not have happened to me only for wife nagging me so much in such an impatient state and as a rule I avoid taxi's unless totally unavoidable, with the luggage amount I had no choice and normally I'd use Uber or a similar ride hailing app. I didn't get this angry in 20+ years since secondary school one day when I throttled another lad for cheating in a school yard game of soccer

    In my eyes I was right as it was scam attempt and he needed to learn a lesson, yes it was Physically risky for me (especially in a foreign country) but during the journey as I watched the rigged meter spin I started planning to attack him in my mind as a last resort as no way would I be extorted I decided and I was literally fuming as I released this was a scam due to what the price was likely to be but I said maybe the meter is wrong lets wait and see. During the schmozzle I snapped back a €10 note from his hand and he left with €20 only.

    Now my wife won't talk to me for 12hrs+ because we had a row as it would never have happened if she shut her mouth and had patience and a let me find a simcard at the airport to get the Uber type car or else we could have queued like the other 100+ people in front of us from the flight. She complaining how I could have been killed if the guy had a gun or knife.

    He was a typical scammer, soft weak, overweight and I surprised myself in my own slapdown to him as I never knew I was so strong, I'm not the type to ever do anything like this but it was fight or flight. I am even tempted to go to the airport on Friday when the same flight comes in again and no doubt he will be there preying on new victims and to ID him to Police.

    What should I have done and how could I have handled it better?


«13

Comments

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    #2
    Rubberchikken
    Registered Users Posts: 5,083 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    Admit that your behaviour was inexcusable, apologize to your wife, accept responsibility for your actions and consider yourself very lucky you didn't end up in a police cell.

    The whole journey sounds stressful and I'll admit the taxi driver was probably chancing his arm, as many do, but personally I can never agree with violence. It's just not worth the grief.


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    #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    It was not fight or flight because you planned the assault during the journey. Also thinking to go there another day to track him down is badness. These are not impulsive actions - they are uncontrolled protracted anger symptoms.

    You have blamed your wife several times for your temper. We are most of us humans grumpy and petty after long travel so you cannot keep saying she was the problem nor can you use travel exhaustion to excuse yourself punching someone into the throat. It could have killed him. For the sake of a few quid. Life offers far more serious hurdles than a scam artist and you should have coped.

    You seem to have escaped the consequence of immediate or delayed retaliation or being arrested and charged for your assault. Count that as a very lucky break. And then be remorseful for your excessive temper and actions. Learn from your mistakes. Feel the regret properly and candidly. And perhaps do a deeper dive alone or with help regarding your anger issues. I have a sibling with similar responses to you - it took decades before he realised that other people were not the problem. Save yourself years of causing and experiencing suffering and own your life now.


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    #4
    Jequ0n
    Registered Users Posts: 6,062 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    I’m pretty sure I’d have punched him too OP. However, your whole post is layer out as a long winded excuse for your behaviour. You are practically blaming everyone and everything but yourself.

    That’s where your actual problem is


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    #5
    Oranage2
    Registered Users Posts: 11,128 ✭✭✭✭Oranage2


    You seem to blame others but it was your own anger issue not others. I've traveled a lot and it can be stressful especially with Covid. When you first landed you could get a coffee at McDonald's or wherever to get some bearings, tell your wife to relax while you look for a sim. If no sim shops then Google public transport though probably not likely with a tired wife and luggage or ring your hotel and ask them to pick you up and see the price.

    Lastly when you got the taxi, get your bags first then make a commotion. Don't arguing, just tell him to call the police, he'll still shout and be aggressive, he'll then try barter, eventually he'll just go away and you've got a free ride.


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    #6
    L'prof
    Registered Users Posts: 12,010 ✭✭✭✭L'prof


    Similar has happened me on several occasions while encumbered with bags and travelling in foreign countries with my now wife. I never had to reset to violence. Not every situation plays out the same I know but to my mind you’re in the wrong here and I can see why this has caused a rift between you and your wife. At the end of the day it’s only money and there’s no telling what that taxi driver would have been prepared to do. In this instance you and your wife have been very fortunate but your actions could have put you both in danger. You seem to be blaming your wife but this is on you


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    #7
    GingerLily
    Registered Users Posts: 4,767 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    I feel so sorry for your wife, what an ordeal you put her through. You could have caused lasting damage here, your priorities here are all wrong


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    #8
    Apoapsis Rex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭Apoapsis Rex


    Rubberchikken wrote: »
    Admit that your behaviour was inexcusable, apologize to your wife, accept responsibility for your actions and consider yourself very lucky you didn't end up in a police cell.

    The whole journey sounds stressful and I'll admit the taxi driver was probably chancing his arm, as many do, but personally I can never agree with violence. It's just not worth the grief.

    Chancing his arm? Defrauding, jumping out to confront the op wife is threatening in itself, threatening false imprisonment (grabbing their belongings and saying he would bring them back to the airport). That is a bit less innocent than chancing his arm.

    I think the OP acted the correct way in that scenario. There were some pre-emptive actions.

    It's true that the OP didn't know what the driver was capable of, so that's why he reacted when the driver jumped out at his wife, which I am presuming was in an aggressive manner as it seemed to have kicked things off.

    OP managed to reduce the fraud, got to his destination relatively safely with his belongings.


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    #9
    Dav010
    Registered Users Posts: 14,103 ✭✭✭✭Dav010


    The good news is, the taxi knows exactly where you are staying. So you put your wife in a situation where she will now worry about the police lifting you for assault, or the taxi coming back with a few family members.

    Your post reads like you were unprepared, you didn’t know about bank changes, you arrived with no local currency, if a country has an Uber type taxi service, no doubt they have a service that can be pre-booked for airport pick up, and most of all, you don’t understand that tourists getting scammed by taxis at airport isn’t unusual, you should have almost expected it, taxis in Ireland have been accused of same. So you negotiate, but you pay up.


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    #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It would never have happened had your wife "just shut her mouth"?

    Lost a lot of sympathy at this point, grow up and own your own behaviour, stop projecting. Your wife is in no way to blame.

    And she was right, for all you knew the guy could have been armed and you could have put both your wife and yourself in serious trouble by choosing to turn violent.

    I feel sorry for your wife and understand why she isn't talking to you. Blaming her is beyond childish and you owe her a massive apology for your actions, and for not yet having taken full responsibility for your behaviour.

    Have you had issues with violence before this? If not your wife might be quite shaken at having seen this whole new side to you.


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    #11
    Jack00f
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭Jack00f


    You need take accountability and stop blaming your wife for your actions, you committed an assault and should be charged for it.


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    #12
    manor
    Registered Users Posts: 124 ✭✭manor


    Everyone's else problem but mine, you need to take accountability for one's own actions.


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    #13
    Normal One
    Registered Users Posts: 357 ✭✭Normal One


    What were you supposed to do; stand there with your hands in your pockets while this scammer takes off with your laptop bag? Meh, he got what he deserved. He set out that morning to scam tourists and he got what he deserved.


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    #14
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'm female and offhand I can think of two situations when taxi drivers attempted to overcharge me, in foreign countries. One basically kidnapped me and forced me to an atm.
    I managed to sort out both those situations without violence. I know every situation is different, but you seem to have been ill prepared at the start of your holiday.

    I'm sure that after you have some sleep you will feel different about all this. Apologies to your wife, none of this is her fault, then try to move on.


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    #15
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,311 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Jack00f wrote: »
    You need take accountability and stop blaming your wife for your actions, you committed an assault and should be charged for it.

    Bit much isn't it? I have been on the receiving end of these scams and a couple of times it could easily have come to blows. The alternative is to meekly hand over your hard earned cash.

    That said OP you need to apologise to your wife. She was most likely terrified and adding that to the stress of the journey I am not surprised she is not talking to you. Take some responsibility for your own actions and put it behind you.


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    #16
    Dav010
    Registered Users Posts: 14,103 ✭✭✭✭Dav010


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Bit much isn't it? I have been on the receiving end of these scams and a couple of times it could easily have come to blows. The alternative is to meekly hand over your hard earned cash.

    That said OP you need to apologise to your wife. She was most likely terrified and adding that to the stress of the journey I am not surprised she is not talking to you. Take some responsibility for your own actions and put it behind you.

    I think we’ve all been there at one time or another during our travels abroad, I got the tourist spin around Barcelona 10 yrs ago when arrived at the airport with my elderly father. I knew I was being scammed, but I didn’t want the hassle in front of Dad and I certainly didn’t want to spend a weekend in a Spanish jail.

    Apart from the assault, the important facts are that the op’s wife was there to see this, and that in the op’s eyes, she was somehow part to blame. Maybe his wife is used to seeing him use his fists, so it might not be too much of a surprise.


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    #17
    paw patrol
    Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭paw patrol


    I'm at a loss to what you did wrong OP.
    The guy was trying to scam you and the situation regrettably got ugly.
    Who behaves impeccably in these confrontations. Nobody does.

    Think it's wrong to blame your wife for being impatient , the taxi man is to blame for being a scam artist.

    On another front, I accept all marriages have different makeups but not in a million years would my wife be cross with me for dealing with confrontation with strangers even if violence was the result - the violence doesn't strike me as gratuitous or over the top nor did you go looking for trouble . you just wanted out of the situation without being robbed.

    Your wife should be proud that her husband handled himself and protected the her. I know my wife would be of me.


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    #18
    Dav010
    Registered Users Posts: 14,103 ✭✭✭✭Dav010


    paw patrol wrote: »
    I'm at a loss to what you did wrong OP.
    The guy was trying to scam you and the situation regrettably got ugly.
    Who behaves impeccably in these confrontations. Nobody does.

    Think it's wrong to blame your wife for being impatient , the taxi man is too blame for being a scam artist.

    On another front, I accept all marriages have different makeups but not in a million years would my wife be cross with me for dealing with confrontation with strangers even if violence was the result - the violence doesn't strike me as gratuitous or over the top nor did you go looking for trouble . you just wanted out of the situation without being robbed.

    Your wife should be proud that her husband handled himself and protected the her. I know my wife would be of me.

    Depends on how used to violence your wife is I suppose.


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    #19
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Punches to the throat can be very dangerous - they are illegal in MMA.


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    #20
    Reputable Rog
    Registered Users Posts: 2,082 ✭✭✭Reputable Rog


    Taken 4- this time he brought the wife.


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    #21
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,311 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Punches to the throat can be very dangerous - they are illegal in MMA.

    Lucky he wasn't in an MMA match then.
    Any punch can be dangerous


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    #22
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,962 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Mod Note

    Reputable Rog welcome to PI/RI. Posters here are asked to offer constructive advice to an OP when replying to their thread. Please take a look at the Charter before posting again.

    Also, just to mention, there is no need to quote an entire opening post as the OP is the person you are replying to. It also makes it difficult for touch site users to navigate through the thread if there are large blocks of text.

    Thanks

    HS


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    #23
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Lucky he wasn't in an MMA match then.
    Any punch can be dangerous

    Thus one should not dole them out. Especially if one has been thinking about them in the taxi ride and has had time to give one's head a wobble.


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    #24
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,311 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Thus one should not dole them out. Especially if one has been thinking about them in the taxi ride and has had time to give one's head a wobble.

    One should not dole out any punches unless necessary. Where it is necessary then you do what you need to do to eliminate the danger to yourself.

    The rules of a random sport are completely irrelevant.


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    #25
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,293 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    That does not read good for you really. Heavy on excuses. How did you even manage to get around the driver to break the car key in the barrel.

    Who even thinks to do something like that? Jason Bourne maybe..

    That wouldn't enter my head.

    Even the way you describe the brawl... Punches to the throat? rabbit punches! Maybe you fancy yourself a bit too much in that way..

    Your actions sound a bit thought through to be honest.

    Your wife seems to be a target for your ire as well.

    All in all. Not great.

    Edit... Misread the bit with the car keys I think.. snapped maybe meant "out of the driver's hands"


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    #26
    Jequ0n
    Registered Users Posts: 6,062 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Thus one should not dole them out. Especially if one has been thinking about them in the taxi ride and has had time to give one's head a wobble.

    That’s not what happens in your head when you see red because you don’t think clearly any more. The only way to avoid this is to not let a situation escalate until this point.


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    #27
    paw patrol
    Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭paw patrol


    Dav010 wrote: »
    Depends on how used to violence your wife is I suppose.

    a really weird comment.

    Maybe we've different standards but a man standing up for his wife/kids against people who wish them ill will isn't a bad thing in my book.
    I would look down on a man that didn't have that ingrained in him, But as I said people have different standards.


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    #28
    Dav010
    Registered Users Posts: 14,103 ✭✭✭✭Dav010


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    One should not dole out any punches unless necessary. Where it is necessary then you do what you need to do to eliminate the danger to yourself.

    The rules of a random sport are completely irrelevant.

    Corny.

    The op stole the guys keys, what reaction would you expect?

    Does the op say anything about taxi metering charges in the place? The driver used the meter and google maps according to the op, there is a good chance the driver was honest and took offence when his keys were taken, then the op robbed him of a €10. If the driver was Irish and posted about an American tourist who objected to a fare because it was more expensive than back home, we’d be telling the op to have the tourist arrested for assault.


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    #29
    Dav010
    Registered Users Posts: 14,103 ✭✭✭✭Dav010


    paw patrol wrote: »
    a really weird comment.

    Maybe we've different standards but a man standing up for his wife/kids against people who wish them ill will isn't a bad thing in my book.
    I would look down on a man that didn't have that ingrained in him, But as I said people have different standards.

    The op stole the guys keys, refused to pay, beat him up and then robbed him of €10, would my wife be proud?, no paw patrol, most decent people would be ashamed. But again, it depends on what you are used to.


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    #30
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,962 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    What could you have done differently? Its hard to know without being there, but whether your wife had 'shut her mouth' or not, you had already resolved to 'attack' him, as a last resort. So it really is not her fault.

    Its that build up of anger that you need to take a look at and see whether its an ongoing trend for you. You say a similar situation happened in secondary school. People will take liberties it happens to us all, but going nuclear isnt an option and one day you'll get it handed right back to you.

    Find a way of dealing with the rage before it gets to that. I would be disgusted if I saw my husband taking things to that level. Its not a good start to the holiday!


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    #31
    Uptheduff
    Registered Users Posts: 95 ✭✭Uptheduff


    The two of you should have had a coffee in the airport and de stressed a bit before tackling the taxi issue. It's clear you were a massive stress ball from the get go. It was a frustrating situation certainly but you lose all credibility when you snap like that. I'd be so ashamed of you if I was your wife.


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