I committed an assault :-/

woodchuck

Your post is disturbing on a few levels:
1. The violence itself. It wasn't in self defense and starting off with a punch to the throat is pretty extreme.
2. The fact that you don't seem to feel any remorse for your actions. Most of your post seems to be written in such a way to justify why you think violence was inevitable and excusable.
3. The statement "it would never have happened if she shut her mouth". Are you actually blaming your wife for the fact that you decided to resort to violence?!

First you need to apologise to your wife.

Then you need to take a good hard look in the mirror. Figure out why you reacted the way you did and how you could have resolved the situation without violence. You don't want this violent behavior to become a pattern when you're faced with a stressful situation.

noodler

You'd want to have a think about the way you talk about your wife.

Stay quiet, ****.her trap etc.

If the post isn't a windup then also ask yourself are you sorry? Quite a bit of self grandiose in there, I didn't know my own strength etc

Akrasia

The OP blaming his wife for everything points a little bit at a lack of empathy, he spends ages setting up the scene of a stressful traveling arrangement but whenever his wife is mentioned it’s in the context of him being tired and stressed while his wife is unreasonable

If it was tiring and stressful for the OP, probably the same for his wife

My advice is to apologize to your wife for your attitude and for all the mistakes that you made on the trip.even if your wife was more calm, Your high levels of stress would have made for a tense traveling experience and anything she said that didn’t match your own plans could have been interpreted as criticism and caused you to react negatively

Apologies, admit that you made mistakes, accept the blame, de-escalate, get a coffee and focus on turning it around for the rest of the trip

Daniel2021

You need to apologise to your wife. You are blaming her for a lot of this which is very unfair. You said if she shut her mouth it wouldnt have happened and if she wasnt nagging you and impatient it wouldnt have happened.
You hit the guy and put both you you in a dangerous situation. She is right about the gun/knife. You had no idea about what type of man this is. He could have had a criminal record for all you know.

Your post comes across quite boastful going on about how you didn't know your own strength and hoping to see him when you return to the airport. I think you enjoyed this and are annoyed your wife isn't happy about it.

Frankly you are lucky that he hasn't called the police. As another poster said he knows were ye are staying.

Movementarian

I can't speak for anyone else here but when I read your whole message it seemed like you are actually proud or bragging about this.

Comes across in the way you are phrasing things and quite honestly it sounds like you are generally an angry person.

Plus as others have pointed out I would be more worried about this anger towards your wife that comes across. 'If she had only shut her mouth'...has no relevance to the story but you put it in there...lovely.

Know lots of people who have been on the receiving end of scams on holidays. Been done on myself and my partner after a similarly long trip. Never heard people acting or talking the way you do.

osarusan

Forget about the taxi driver and hope he forgets about it too rather than taking it further.

The stuff you have said about how it's all really your wife's fault is ridiculous though.

YellowLead

I don’t understand why you were so unprepared for the trip!!! Was it a last second dash or something???

It sounds like you have very little respect for your wife. Shocking language to use about somebody you are supposed to love, but are you generally aggressive and rude towards everybody?

It’s certainly NOT her fault the assault occurred. You were both unprepared and dealt with the stress of that in different ways.

I’m not sure what advice you are looking for here - it kind of sounds like you wanted to brag about it and have everyone say wow look what this guy did, he sure told that taxi driver!

JupiterKid

Three things come to mind here, one of them being the glaring obvious - why did you think taking a very long-haul holiday involving multiple flights and stopovers at a time of a pandemic and people being urged not to fly was OK to do? Sounds utterly selfish, reckless and inconsiderate to me.

Scammers unfortunately are everywhere when you go abroad - but especially so in impoverished, third world countries where people struggle to survive and make a living. It’s par for the course in these places. I’ve been scammed before on two occasions but being in a foreign country and being very mindful of the state of the justice system and prisons in such countries, violence for me would only be an absolute last resort - and in self-defense.

Your comment about your wife “if only she had shut her mouth” is actually very telling. You are, as the others opined, blaming her and everyone else for your inexcusable use of violence. Count yourself lucky you weren’t knifed or ended up in a hellhole prison. Your post reads like a sympathy-seeking justification for your violent actions. Everything you write in your post portrays you as someone with a very short fuse, a pig-headed attitude (flying in a pandemic), an unwillingness to plan ahead and an inability to see your own faults here.

Suck it up OP, own your actions, apologise to your wife and move on. Perhaps look at anger management therapy when you return from your holidays.

Daniel2021

Stu Redman wrote: »

OP: 4/10

Thread reaction bumps it up to a solid 8 though.

A man assaults someone over 70 euro when it is a known scam in most large airports and tourist destinations. He got into that taxi knowing it could happen. Then he gets violent and blames his wife for this even though he is the one that over reacted. I don't think the comments here are an over-reaction. If the poster has said to his wife what he has posted here...that it is her fault and she should have shut her mouth and stopped nagging then I would call this gaslighting.

All over 70 euro! I've been caught out once in a similar situation but you know what I did...I paid the fee and learned my lesson.

Car99

Daniel2021 wrote: »

A man assaults someone over 70 euro when it is a known scam in most large airports and tourist destinations. He got into that taxi knowing it could happen. Then he gets violent and blames his wife for this even though he is the one that over reacted. I don't think the comments here are an over-reaction. If the poster has said to his wife what he has posted here...that it is her fault and she should have shut her mouth and stopped nagging then I would call this gaslighting.

All over 70 euro! I've been caught out once in a similar situation but you know what I did...I paid the fee and learned my lesson.

The thread is a wind up.

Dublin Lad2021

Jequ0n wrote: »

I’m pretty sure I’d have punched him too OP. However, your whole post is layer out as a long winded excuse for your behaviour. You are practically blaming everyone and everything but yourself.

That’s where your actual problem is

In on this!

Hannibal_Smith

Mod Note

Folks, if you think there is something off about a thread, report it and leave it to the Mod Team to look in to. If you've nothing to offer by way of advice, then please move on to another thread.

Thanks

HS

LegacyUser

covid-refugee wrote: »

.

What should I have done and how could I have handled it better?

Unless you've got a time machine OP there's no point asking should you have done. You've done and you need to learn from this and also hope its not going to come back on you. Violence is never justified and really wasn't in this case and you are very lucky OP the driver didn't call the police on you.

Stop blaming your wife for your actions. You said you were already planning to physically attack the driver before the car even got to the destination. You were so angry about being scammed when you clearly state you knew it was a risk. Putting the blame on your wife over the sim card is just childish. I travel a lot and when absolutely stuck I suck it up and turn my phone on and take the hit on the charges. I've literally been to back end of Mongolia and my phone worked so don't claim you couldn't have used your Irish phone, you could have you just didn't want to pay the the roaming charges. If you are someone who gets stressed so easily then you need to take the time to plan better going forward. Get local money before travel, sort phone before going (yes this is possible I've done it loads of times), arrange pick up at the airport etc etc Say sorry to your wife.


I like the comment about him not wearing a mask when you've just traveled for 30 odd hrs.

paw patrol

Dav010 wrote: »

The op stole the guys keys, refused to pay, beat him up and then robbed him of €10, would my wife be proud?, no paw patrol, most decent people would be ashamed. But again, it depends on what you are used to.

You have a weird way of viewing it. . Why should he pay?- he was being ripped off. Ripping somebody off is theft and that started the change of events.

Bizarre how you don't see that.

Larbre34

You sound like a gem.

"My wife should have just shut her mouth"...?
**** you and your jet lag.

If that was my sister you were married to, I'd give you a tutorial in using violence to settle an issue.

Dav010

paw patrol wrote: »

You have a weird way of viewing it. . Why should he pay?- he was being ripped off. Ripping somebody off is theft and that started the change of events.

Bizarre how you don't see that.

Read the op, it’s all there.

Included: that the taxi used the meter and google maps for the destination. Did the op check to see what the tariff is for taxis in that country before stealing his keys?

Personally, I find metered taxis more expensive than agreeing a fee, particularly in cities.

MissShihTzu

All this over E20??? Seems a bit OTT. Look - I would apologise profusely to your wife, make up with a nice dinner or flowers, and hope to God the police aren't looking for you, given the taxi driver knows where you're staying.

Then put an end to it. No need for all the angst and drama. Deal with the situation at hand, and learn organise yourself properly and to keep a cap on your temper.

mloc123

My takeaway from that whole post was.... All that over 40e.. it isn't worth the hassle.

Tork

Are you a frustrated writer by any chance OP? All that unneeded, unnecessary detail for quite a straightforward incident.

So just to recap:
- You approached this man and agreed to take his taxi because he was using a meter.
- You watched the meter 'spin' while in the car, fully aware of the bill you were racking up.
- You planned your attack on him while he drove you to your destination.
- You did not consider asking him about the fare or getting out of the taxi.
- He dropped you 150m off the mark, and rather than speak to him you got out, announced that the fare was a rip-off and took his keys.
- You then attacked him. You've also confirmed that this injured him.
- Of the money you did think was fair to give him, you forcibly took back a tenner, leaving him with €20 quid for a fair he charged €70.

Long story short you knew he would overcharge and chose to take the taxi anyway. You knew exactly what the deal is with those guys, and then acted entitled and outraged, after you'd gotten what you wanted. And it would be rich if it was just outrage, but to actively assault the taxi driver is just 100% morally wrong.

stargazer 68

Going on your 'it's no problem, I use meter' I can take a rough guess of the area you have gone to. You are lucky the local cops weren't at the hotel before you had unpacked! They may still turn up!!

lainey_d_123

OP, your attitude is a disgrace. I expected to read a post from someone extremely regretful and mortified who had snapped in some awful situation like trying to prevent your wife being attacked. Turns out you're just a fragile hothead who assaulted someone for an extremely minor annoyance.

Your entire post is a justification of your actions, but they don't justify anything. So what if you were travelling a long time and stuff went wrong? That's what happens when you travel. Stuff doesn't go to plan. Scams are just part of that. I'm sure every one of us has had a taxi driver try to rip us off. Happened to me just a few years ago in Lisbon. Fella tried to charge me 70 euros for a 20 euro fare. You think being the big scary hard man is the only way to solve this but guess what...I just told the fella 20 euros was all I had, because that's what my local friend had told me the fare was. Acted clueless and innocent. Said he'd better let me out right away because I felt ill, and then once I was outside the taxi with people around, I told him to feck off and that I'd report him to the police for scamming me, and off he went. Nobody got punched in the throat. I'm a 5'4 petite woman, OP, and I sorted it out just fine.

Your attitude towards your wife is chilling...so what if she was stressed? It's not her fault you snapped and were violent. If I were her, I'd strongly consider leaving you because you're clearly a loose cannon with no empathy or remorse. It's also laughable that you could have killed someone or been killed, or your wife hurt, for the sake of an extra 40 quid. You are clearly wealthy enough to travel halfway round the world during a pandemic but 40 quid is so much money that you risk your life over it?

the14thwarrior

I'm dying to know what non EU country it is
I'd be locking my hotel room; I'd be changing my hotel in fact.
and I speak from an unfortunate event that I was lucky to escape from, and it was not half as bad as your situation.


30 hours flight? multiple layovers? 7 pieces of luggage? trying to buy a SIM at an aerport? no local currency? and you think the problem is your wife?

cop the f** on

jester77

Sounds like you are in Asia somewhere, I've had dealings like this, particularly in Thailand, but it never led to violence. The first thing you should be doing is apologising to your wife. You've ruined the holiday before it has even started. Then i would be looking for alternative accomodation. I would not be feeling safe staying there now after that episode.

poisonated

I might have picked you up wrong but it sounds like you robbed and assaulted him. I’ve been scammed abroad but I would know that I’m on a hiding to nothing if I attempted something like taking his keys. Quite frankly, I think you need to apologise to your wife and move hotel. If it were me, I would be looking over my shoulder the entire holiday and wouldn’t enjoy myself at all.

LillySV

[

U handled it right!!!! Haha, respect!!! I’ve been fuct over abroad before and sorry I didn’t do this in hindsight

Tork

Thanks for not bothering to clear out that enormous wall of text before replying

lalababa

This didn't happen in Ireland. Other parts of the world it's dog eat dog. People will push it as far as they can. If one doesn't do what the op did once in awhile you start to eat ****.

Meeoow

This could end up an episode of Banged Up Abroad. I would be moving hotels pronto. Hopefully you'll use this as a lesson and sort out your anger issues.

Normal One

Normal One wrote: »

What were you supposed to do; stand there with your hands in your pockets while this scammer takes off with your laptop bag? Meh, he got what he deserved. He set out that morning to scam tourists and he got what he deserved.

I’d have to agree with this too. A lot of people aren’t living in the real world with the “anger issues” type of remarks. Maybe the OP has helped someone else not get scammed by giving this person what they’ve probably needed for a long time. Obviously you try not to do things that way if you can but if they’re about to make off with your property then do what’s needed.