Guy at work keeps grinding up mucus onto the carpet near where I sit

Former Observer · 06-06-2019 1:01pm #1

Serious question. Fellah that sits right beside me in work is constantly picking his nose and kind of grinding the mucus between his fingers onto the ground about two feet away from me. He does this all day everyday, and there are dried shavings of mucus on the carpet between where we sit. I've asked him in the past whether he wants a tissue, and I've bought a big box tissues and put them at the end of my desk , but he doesn't seem to know what to do with them. Big dirty nails on the fellah. Back is covered in acne. Kind of bleachy/fishy smell off him too, which I think is semen. I can't smell him from where I sit though.

What should I do? He is nice otherwise, but the mucus thing is driving me over the edge.

Del2005 · 06-06-2019 1:04pm

Report it to your boss and let them deal with it, if they don't ask for a new desk.

ArrBee · 06-06-2019 1:06pm

Tell him to put his shirt back on for a start.

Boom_Bap · 06-06-2019 1:08pm

Two tampons, ram one up each of his nostrils.

PistolsAtDawn · 06-06-2019 1:09pm

Stop being a slave to the system, grow a pair and remove yourself from the unnatural office environment where currently choose to WASTE most of your life.

*Now I better get back to smoking blunts and playing video games, after all it is 13:10 on a Thursday I really should get out of bed and do something

JohnnyFlash · 06-06-2019 1:28pm

That’s disgusting. He should be fired. Dirty bastærd.

Grayson · 06-06-2019 1:33pm

Blast him with piss.

Plumbthedepths · 06-06-2019 1:35pm

Tell teacher you'd like to sit somewhere else.

sbsquarepants · 06-06-2019 1:35pm

Former Observer wrote: »

Kind of bleachy/fishy smell off him too, which I think is semen. I can't smell him from where I sit though.

.

So when exactly did you smell this bleachy fish jizz?:eek::eek:

Deebles McBeebles · 06-06-2019 1:36pm

Take your bin out from under the desk very slowly with your foot and slide it under his hand. As long as he doesn't see you do it, magic bin!

TuringBot47 · 06-06-2019 1:37pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

That’s disgusting. He should be fired. Dirty bastærd.

Not too familiar with labour laws there are you?

Hopefully they don't work in the food industry.

Badly Drunk Boy · 06-06-2019 1:38pm

Become a true 'Former Observer' and stop observing. Mind yer own business!

IAMAMORON · 06-06-2019 1:39pm

Get a new job, it's not worth it.

fxotoole · 06-06-2019 1:42pm

Former Observer wrote: »

Serious question. Fellah that sits right beside me in work is constantly picking his nose and kind of grinding the mucus between his fingers onto the ground about two feet away from me. He does this all day everyday, and there are dried shavings of mucus on the carpet between where we sit. I've asked him in the past whether he wants a tissue, and I've bought a big box tissues and put them at the end of my desk , but he doesn't seem to know what to do with them. Big dirty nails on the fellah. Back is covered in acne. Kind of bleachy/fishy smell off him too, which I think is semen. I can't smell him from where I sit though.

What should I do? He is nice otherwise, but the mucus thing is driving me over the edge.

**** on his desk

IAMAMORON · 06-06-2019 1:42pm

Former Observer wrote: »

Serious question. Fellah that sits right beside me in work is constantly picking his nose and kind of grinding the mucus between his fingers onto the ground about two feet away from me. He does this all day everyday, and there are dried shavings of mucus on the carpet between where we sit. I've asked him in the past whether he wants a tissue, and I've bought a big box tissues and put them at the end of my desk , but he doesn't seem to know what to do with them. Big dirty nails on the fellah. Back is covered in acne. Kind of bleachy/fishy smell off him too, which I think is semen. I can't smell him from where I sit though.

What should I do? He is nice otherwise, but the mucus thing is driving me over the edge.

You either can or you can't, you will end up confusing the poor man.

Just admit it …. you fancy the arse off him. You have been staring at his back ffs. Smelling him and watching him finger himself....

JohnnyFlash · 06-06-2019 1:44pm

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Not too familiar with labour laws there are you?

Hopefully they don't work in the food industry.

There’s always a way of getting rid of an employee. No one should have to deal with some dirty bastard reeking of piss and/or sweat and/or semen. Or a colleague picking their nose, squeezing spots onto their monitor, picking at their hole.

Zorya · 06-06-2019 1:49pm

The first time I did my driving test the tester kept picking his nose and slowly wiping the snot along the inside of my passenger door. Pick, slow wipe, repeat, the whole test. I said nothing because I wanted to pass the test. When we got back to his office, he handed me a certificate of failure. In return for his snot-rubbing I crumpled the cert up into a ball and threw it at his head, before walking out. (Yep, it's true.) The next time I went in for a test he arrived out randomly to find me and someone else waiting and he said, in a very scared voice, ''Not her!'' pointing at me. Of course I passed my test with the lovely non-snot-wiping gent who tested me instead.
Moral of the story (I guess) is throw crumpled up paper at him every time you see him. It's like aversion therapy.

EmmetSpiceland · 06-06-2019 1:55pm

That is just disgusting. You shouldn’t have to endure any of it and it shouldn’t be “on you” to sort him out.

You should keep a record of his vile “activities” and raise the issue with your manager. If nothing changes go directly to HR. That guy sounds like an animal.

Foweva Awone · 06-06-2019 5:14pm

Are his initials KW by any chance? (Only fella I've ever been with whose semen smelt bizarrely like bleach!)

circadian · 06-06-2019 5:20pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Are his initials KW by any chance? (Only fella I've ever been with whose semen smelt bizarrely like bleach!)

Go on.......

Gimme A Pound · 06-06-2019 5:34pm

Oh my god tell the boss. That's not only grotesque but unsanitary for others.

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

There’s always a way of getting rid of an employee. No one should have to deal with some dirty bastard reeking of piss and/or sweat and/or semen. Or a colleague picking their nose, squeezing spots onto their monitor, picking at their hole.

I work with a hole picker.

Smell of ass and sweat off him too. :mad:

Thankfully I don't sit next to him - I only have to endure the odd whiff/sight.

skooterblue2 · 06-06-2019 5:40pm

Look you have to out smell him. not sure what smells more disgusting than semen. you might have to get creative. I am thinking fish heads

Former Observer · 06-06-2019 7:01pm

sbsquarepants wrote: »

So when exactly did you smell this bleachy fish jizz?:eek::eek:

Phucker passes very close behind my chair when he comes and goes from the toilet/lunchbreak. Reeks of fish chowder and bleach and mouldy cheese.

lawred2 · 06-06-2019 7:02pm

Jesus Christ some people are vile

skooterblue2 · 06-06-2019 7:20pm

Former Observer wrote: »

Phucker passes very close behind my chair when he comes and goes from the toilet/lunchbreak. Reeks of fish chowder and bleach and mouldy cheese.

That my dear is a professional Saucier!!! I think I am going to be a little sick. Maybe for christmas you could be his secret santa and get him some industrial strength Tea tree oil hand wash. No, wait dont that will encourage him. Fapp fapp Fapp!!

skooterblue2 · 06-06-2019 7:21pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Are his initials KW by any chance? (Only fella I've ever been with whose semen smelt bizarrely like bleach!)

You work with KANYE WEST!!!!??

kowloon · 06-06-2019 7:30pm

skooterblue2 wrote: »

You work with KANYE WEST!!!!??

He is a gay fish, so it explains the fishy smell.

skooterblue2 · 06-06-2019 7:39pm

Former Observer wrote: »

Phucker passes very close behind my chair when he comes and goes from the toilet/lunchbreak. Reeks of fish chowder and bleach and mouldy cheese.

Y'know its not mean to smell THAT strong either you are over exaggerating or (I suspect) there is something bio-chemically wrong with him that is affecting his personality.

skooterblue2 · 06-06-2019 7:43pm

Fupp the lot of you!!!! I am not going to be able to sleep tonight with images in my mind of this monkey beating the peter out of himself like its his last chance before the nuclear apocalypse and he is beating it out all over bed covers.

Foweva Awone · 06-06-2019 7:44pm

circadian wrote: »

Go on.......

There's literally nothing more to the story. I slept with him, his stuff had this weird strong chemically bleachy smell to it. It was really offputting. I didn't go back for more!

skooterblue2 · 06-06-2019 7:46pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

There's literally nothing more to the story. I slept with him, his stuff had this weird strong chemically bleachy smell to it. It was really offputting. I didn't go back for more!

Could he have been your cousin? You know how we are repulsed by the sweat of our cousins? I always say before I get into bed with the Missus to be ..... "Is that you cous?"

Did you burn the sheets just to be safe afterwards?

Tommy Kelly · 06-06-2019 7:47pm

He has coke nose. Leave him alone.

skooterblue2 · 06-06-2019 7:49pm

I wonder what pace is he up to on the wrister scale?

Former Observer · 06-06-2019 7:53pm

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Y'know its not mean to smell THAT strong either you are over exaggerating or (I suspect) there is something bio-chemically wrong with him that is affecting his personality.

I have no phuckin clue what the smell is. It is not fresh semen, I presume. It is probably a mixture of unwashed clothes, a fungal foot infection, and coagulated penis cream beneath his foreskin. I don't care that much. I care about the layer of waxy human crumbs he is depositing beside my desk.

IAMAMORON · 06-06-2019 8:05pm

Former Observer wrote: »

I have no phuckin clue what the smell is. It is not fresh semen, I presume. It is probably a mixture of unwashed clothes, a fungal foot infection, and coagulated penis cream beneath his foreskin. I don't care that much. I care about the layer of waxy human crumbs he is depositing beside my desk.

Can I get his number ? PM me.

skooterblue2 · 06-06-2019 8:05pm

Cant you just power hose him a la The Green Mile? and spread his cheeks and cough like in Cool Hand Luke?
Maybe he has allergy to soap? I moved in to a house share with two girls and it was only in the day time that I realised it was filthy. I spent the next 6 weeks cleaning the place. Got sick of it and moved out after 6 months. Filthy bitches.

IAMAMORON · 06-06-2019 8:07pm

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Can I get his number ? PM me.

I meant to say that its for a friend , not me like.

skooterblue2 · 06-06-2019 8:07pm

IAMAMORON wrote: »

Can I get his number ? PM me.

Are you collecting him for the freak show? That thar will bring in good money. Poke him with a stick and see what he does next!!!

skooterblue2 · 06-06-2019 8:10pm

You know if he saves it all up and wraps it in red wax he can sell it as Edam Cheese. You get good money for that sort of stuff in certain circles, y'know

mvl · 06-06-2019 8:15pm

skooterblue2 wrote: »

You know if he saves it all up and wraps it in red wax he can sell it as Edam Cheese. You get good money for that sort of stuff in certain circles, y'know

Heston Blumenthal did it for the sake of art

Aglomerado · 06-06-2019 9:57pm

YUCK.
That's just nasty.

FFred · 06-06-2019 10:13pm

06-06-2019 10:15pm

What an absolute wretch of a human being. Vile.

kowloon · 06-06-2019 10:26pm

Humans are disgusting, if only we could wipe the slate clean and return this Earth to the animals.

Nikki Sixx · 06-06-2019 10:31pm

That’s pretty awful. Glad in my job there isn’t so much interaction with coworkers.

mvl · 06-06-2019 10:55pm

Deleted User wrote: »

What an absolute wretch of a human being. Vile.

You mean ... almost like a troll ?

Anyway... I'll throw a suggestion in the mix too: if the so called co-worker doesn't know what tissues are for, maybe he can be provided with a nasal aspirator that uses vacuum suction -such as this one - to be used once or twice a day.
- guess if presented with the opportunity for productivity increase, maybe the company can even reimburse the cost !

sbsquarepants · 07-06-2019 7:54am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

There's literally nothing more to the story. I slept with him, his stuff had this weird strong chemically bleachy smell to it. It was really offputting. I didn't go back for more!

Kinda like chloroform? :eek::eek:

spurious · 07-06-2019 7:56am

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Hopefully they don't work in the food industry.

Or selling carpets.

Deebles McBeebles · 07-06-2019 9:23am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

There's literally nothing more to the story. I slept with him, his stuff had this weird strong chemically bleachy smell to it. It was really offputting. I didn't go back for more!

Didn't go back to Johnny Domestos? You do surprise me!

You'd have to wonder if he thought he was giving himself a good clean before "encountering" you and got a bit carried away.

Guy at work keeps grinding up mucus onto the carpet near where I sit

Comments