What everyday things are you not able to do?

LadyMacBeth_ · 12-03-2018 3:40pm #1

So, in the spirit of making myself feel better about my many failings, I have created a thread to see what other people are unable to do as well! I'm turning 30 in July and I'm dreading it because I thought I'd have gotten a bit further, or you know, somewhere in my life by now, but sure, I'm still alive, eh?

So let me get the ball rolling!

1. I can't drive, one which seems to massively shock foreigners but Irish people aren't all that fazed. I had four lessons but I've never been more terrified in my life.
2. I can't rollerskate or rollerblade, tried and failed, a good many times!
3. I have very poor navigational skills but that's because I'm a women, eh? :P
4. I'm really bad at concentrating on anything at all if someone is talking to me, especially small talk, it takes all of my energy just to muster up something somewhat normal to say.

Sleepy · 12-03-2018 3:41pm

Whistle

Hande hoche! · 12-03-2018 3:42pm

Can't snap my fingers.

Graces7 · 12-03-2018 3:43pm

Walk more than a few yards. I exercise the dog by letting her run ahead a ways then calling her back to me.

There is a way round most of these things

georgina toadbum · 12-03-2018 3:46pm

Follow maps. Even Google maps. I always end up taking the turns too soon or missing them.

eviltwin · 12-03-2018 3:48pm

I can't swim. I keep meaning to learn but I've a terrible phobia of water. I'd probably need a lot of one to one lessons.

smeal · 12-03-2018 3:49pm

I'm 24 and I can't swim. Its something I would like to be able to do but I am just terrified by it. I can paddle around a pool on holidays but that is literally it and even at that I need to be able to touch the floor with my feet at all times. As a child I used to muster up any excuse I could to avoid going for swimming lessons with school.

I'd consider myself a decent cook but I just cannot poach a god-damn egg!!!!!

_Dara_ · 12-03-2018 3:56pm

Drive. As in, I have never even sat behind the wheel of a car.

And yeah, actually, I can't rollerskate or rollerblade either. I just fall on my arse.

Or snap my fingers. Bleedin' useful, so I am.

Are Am Eye · 12-03-2018 4:01pm

_Dara_ wrote: »

I have never even sat behind the wheel of a car.

It's best not to. If the handbrake fails then the car could roll back and over you. Over two tonnes.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 12-03-2018 4:02pm

For me it has to be swimming too. I've spent a lot of my life near, on or in water and have had a few near misses but I just could never seem to get the knack of swimming despite taking lessons several times and being very confident in water. Even to be able to float would be brilliant for me.

I can't sew properly - according to Mrs S and I can't draw a straight line with a ruler. I really envy people who can sketch or paint.

biko · 12-03-2018 4:02pm

See far without glasses

Grateful Dread · 12-03-2018 4:23pm

I can swim, rolleblade, ice skate, follow maps etc, but I cannot for the life of me iron a shirt to a reasonable standard.

razorblunt · 12-03-2018 4:25pm

Click my fingers

MilesMorales1 · 12-03-2018 4:27pm

****ing ironing. Doesn't matter how hard I try, the clothes always end up more creased when I'm finished then when I started.

tringle · 12-03-2018 4:28pm

I can't speak French and I really want to.

notsoyoungwan · 12-03-2018 4:29pm

I can’t whistle

Although I’m right-handed I can’t use a knife in my right hand if I’m using a fork with my left- ie I can use a knife in my right hand to butter bread etc but if eating a meal and using a knife and fork I need to use the knife in my left hand and the fork in my right.

I struggle to uncork wine without breaking the cork in two

I can’t hang pictures or do much DIY around the house

I can raise my left eyebrow on its own to convey scepticism, and can raise both simultaneously but cannot raise my right one on its own

retro:electro · 12-03-2018 4:29pm

I can’t do even the most basic of maths in my head. I know my 8x tables off by heart because they were pretty much bet into me, but that is the limit of my mathematical genius.
I don’t get percentages, like when something is 25% off or whatever, it does not compute. I still count using my fingers.

GBX · 12-03-2018 4:29pm

Cant swim!

Everlong1 · 12-03-2018 4:30pm

Can't drive either. Toyed with the idea of getting lessons recently but I don't need it for work and decided it was pointless throwing massive amounts of money into something I'd get little benefit out of just to have the skill.

I did have a motorbike for a few years but it kept robbed by scummers so just gave up on it.

Mint Sauce · 12-03-2018 4:33pm

Whistle, build a decent fire (or at least one that doesn't take almost an hour to get going), work the timer on the oven, see hardly at all without glasses, wink both eyes.

I am sure there are others if I think long enough.

miss_darcey · 12-03-2018 4:56pm

I can't swim properly...self taught splashy paddling
I can't cartwheel
I can't do a proper Sunday roast without butchering it (sorry for the pun!)
I can't work my own grill

I'm not very useful it seems!

von Smallhausen · 12-03-2018 5:02pm

I can't drive either. It doesn't help that my peripheral vision and general eyesight is abysmal. That and the fact that I am a short arse and just about able to see of the the steering wheel anyway.

Roadtoad · 12-03-2018 5:08pm

Never really figured out the Lorenz equations.

Gunmonkey · 12-03-2018 5:49pm

Could never do a head over heels roll....always ended up with some sideways abomination.

Can drive...as in I know how to make a car crawl along...in an enclosed are with nobody around. Would imagine my first driving lesson will be me crawling along at 15km/h, traffic packed up behind, instructor staring at me and me sweating bullets, lamenting the hubris of mankind for wishing to travel at such velocity!

Add another to the lead brick in water camp. Even though I did lessons as a kid, where part of my brain is telling me "this stuff will stop you drowning, we should learn it", the other part is screaming "YEAH WELL NEVER TOUCHING WATER AGAIN IS ALSO A GREAT WAY TO NOT DROWN TOO, LETS DO THAT!!" Kinda depressing for a nation of people living on an island that weve so many that cant swim....

beertons · 12-03-2018 5:51pm

Tie a balloon.
Whistle with my fingers.

fergiesfolly · 12-03-2018 7:19pm

Tie a Windsor knot in a tie.
It's either the size of a football or too bloody short and I look like a six year old.

RiderOnTheStorm · 12-03-2018 7:57pm

Pretty good at swimming, even though I nearly drowned once. Good at teaching it too!

Cant work zips. 50% chance I will snag it, or fail to align the 2 sides, etc. Maybe its because I am left handed and all zips are designed for right handed folk .

Your Face · 12-03-2018 8:02pm

Not to be boorish but I could never have a quick poo.

theteal · 12-03-2018 8:05pm

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Can't snap my fingers.

I can't do this with my right (good) hand but I can with my left

Jack Kanoff · 12-03-2018 8:08pm

Can't drive
Can't swim
Can't impregnate a woman naturally
Can't fold a shirt

12-03-2018 8:13pm

Can't put on my drawers or jeans standing up. I have to sit down or it's a guarantee I'll get myself tangled up and keel over with one foot in a pocket or something.

I can't open wine bottles without macerating the cork. Good job I don't drink the stuff.

Can't read without my specs.

Can't tell my left from my other left without thinking about it for a nanosec.

retro:electro · 12-03-2018 8:15pm

I can never manage to make a cup of tea in the exact time it takes for my toast to pop. I’m always either left waiting, or it pops too early.
I challenge myself every morning but never manage to exact it.
One of these days I’ll get there.

Los Lobos · 12-03-2018 8:35pm

Maths. But sure that's why calculators were invented, so I don't have to

coastwatch · 12-03-2018 8:38pm

Roll my Rrrrrrrrs

blackbox · 12-03-2018 8:41pm

Can't sing in tune.

Archeron · 12-03-2018 8:44pm

I can't drive in a multi story car park with the radio on. I always listen to music in the car but as soon as I approach the ticket machine in a multi story, I have to switch off or I forget what to do. Surface car parks are fine though for some reason.

pickarooney · 12-03-2018 8:50pm

I can't reverse with sunglasses on. Just not happening.
I can't find my way around anywhere, even places I've lived for years.

weemcd · 12-03-2018 9:05pm

Have disposable income or savings.

TG1 · 12-03-2018 9:12pm

Cut bread or cake without it falling to pieces....

corner of hells · 12-03-2018 9:14pm

Can never finish tasks.I've a short span of attenti........

gifted · 12-03-2018 9:20pm

Can't sleep in the same position in bed...moving all the time..

Can't say no to food...

Oldtree · 12-03-2018 9:23pm

Can't read my own writing after a short time
or sung in tune

CPTM · 12-03-2018 9:24pm

There's a sense of 'quick logic' missing from my brain that others seem to have. Like when it comes to knowing what effect switching from GMT to BST has on the amount of daylight we have in the mornings, I need to work through the whole story from beginning to end in my head. Whereas other people seem to 'just know'.

I think the same gap presents itself when it comes to splitting a bill and someone randomly points out that "X owes Y money, so factor that in when you divide it up".

RobbingBandit · 12-03-2018 9:30pm

Can't make friends every time I show a little trust or let someone into my life boom right in the proverbials, people are kunts but I am too easy sometimes and always seem to attract the worst rats who just take take take and don't ever give anything back be it time or help.

_Dara_ · 12-03-2018 9:39pm

_Dara_ wrote: »

Drive. As in, I have never even sat behind the wheel of a car.

And yeah, actually, I can't rollerskate or rollerblade either. I just fall on my arse.

Or snap my fingers. Bleedin' useful, so I am.

USELESS, I MEANT USELESS!

_Dara_ · 12-03-2018 9:41pm

Lads, any of ye who can’t whistle - you’re not missing out. I can whistle and, MAN, is it annoying! :pac: :P I freely acknowledge that.

Sephiroth_dude · 12-03-2018 9:42pm

I can never get up on time :-/

endacl · 12-03-2018 9:44pm

tringle wrote: »

I can't speak French and I really want to.

Pourquoi?

Malayalam · 12-03-2018 9:49pm

Can't stand up on a surf board, but I enjoy making the effort.

Can't sing, really really really wish I could.

LadyMacBeth_ · 12-03-2018 9:49pm

Candie wrote: »

Can't tell my left from my other left without thinking about it for a nanosec.

Yes! I sometimes have to look at my hands first and I'm left handed so I look at my left first and work from there. If I have to answer someone quickly about whether to go left or right I often panic and get it wrong!

anna080 wrote: »

I can never manage to make a cup of tea in the exact time it takes for my toast to pop. I’m always either left waiting, or it pops too early.
I challenge myself every morning but never manage to exact it.
One of these days I’ll get there.

I'm glad that I'm the only person who does this, and then I'm frantically trying to butter the toast before it goes cold, the stress of it all.

TG1 wrote: »

Cut bread or cake without it falling to pieces....

Which is why I usually try to buy sliced bread and cheese, or get the missus to cut it for me, because when I do it it's uneven or all over the place.

Your replies are comforting me people!

beefburrito · 12-03-2018 9:50pm

Malayalam wrote: »

Can't stand up on a surf board, but I enjoy making the effort.

Can't sing, really really really wish I could.

Same as that's why I bodyboard

What everyday things are you not able to do?

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