The Haka: What would AH suggest as the best response?

Fleawuss · 06-10-2015 7:27pm #1

The Haka is the pre match ritual of the All Blacks, New Zealand's rugby union team. Essentially it's a Maori war dance to intimidate opponents. Teams tend to line up to face it and try to face it down. We have never beaten the All Blacks in an international. What's the best response to it apart from winning the match? Turn your back to show contempt for primitive rituals? For the hypocrisy of white New Zealanders adopting a cultural relic from the people they dispossessed? Not taking it seriously and giving them the finger? Bombard it with garryowens? Riverdance? What says AH?

CountingCrows · 06-10-2015 7:29pm

The birdie dance?

DEFTLEFTHAND · 06-10-2015 7:29pm

Just get the ref to start the game immediately following the anthems.

mad muffin · 06-10-2015 7:32pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8SWaCXuYjk

the evasion_kid · 06-10-2015 7:32pm

Ban them from doing it

Lucifer MorningStar · 06-10-2015 7:34pm

Turn your backs on them

pidgeoneyes · 06-10-2015 7:34pm

Blast them with piss! Then run away.

Vidjo_Star · 06-10-2015 7:34pm

The opposing team should whip out their flutes and start playing furiously with them.

Nib · 06-10-2015 7:35pm

Winning the match.

Mesrine65 · 06-10-2015 7:35pm

The Macarena, that'll terrify them

Subcomandante Marcos · 06-10-2015 7:36pm

Warm up, throw a few balls around, do some kicking practice, stretch, take a ****e, chat with your wife in the crowd, who cares? It takes less than 90 seconds and the vast majority of people think it's entertaining.

When they didn't do it against Wales a few years back people moaned for weeks.

The_Valeyard · 06-10-2015 7:37pm

YMCA

fineso.mom · 06-10-2015 7:38pm

YMCA

Johnny D. Mudd · 06-10-2015 7:43pm

The Windmill.

mzungu · 06-10-2015 7:43pm

Riverdance. Get Flatley out of retirement pronto.

Knex* · 06-10-2015 7:45pm

I'd love to see a team just pay zero attention. Just be out there throwing the ball about, casual as you like. Completely ignoring them.

A bit more, "Oh, they're doing that again, are they", rather than the reverence it gets all the time.

Hard not to watch it and be impressed though. Its one of the cooler rituals in Sport, tbh.

Saipanne · 06-10-2015 7:47pm

Just get gay with each other.

Ruu · 06-10-2015 7:47pm

Riverdance.

bucketybuck · 06-10-2015 7:48pm

Knex. wrote: »

I'd love to see a team just pay zero attention. Just be out there throwing the ball about, casual as you like. Completely ignoring them.

Apparently if a team does that they are being disrespectful. :rolleyes:

They are like ****ing children, "we want to do our dance but you have to stand there and watch us just because...".

06-10-2015 7:52pm

Fleawuss wrote: »

The Haka is the pre match ritual of the All Blacks, New Zealand's rugby union team. Essentially it's a Maori war dance to intimidate opponents. Teams tend to line up to face it and try to face it down.

It was done for over a hundred years with little controversy or complaint. It's done by other NZ teams in other sports. It was even done by NZ players playing with Munster. Let them at it. It's tradition.

Ctrl Alt Delete · 06-10-2015 7:53pm

Ignore it or do what Ireland done a good while back only team to take it right up square to their faces

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fg4FyhZ-Kg

dreamers75 · 06-10-2015 7:57pm

Ctrl Alt Delete wrote: »

Ignore it or do what Ireland done a good while back only team to take it right up square to their faces

FYP

Muahahaha · 06-10-2015 7:59pm

Deleted User wrote: »

It was done for over a hundred years with little controversy or complaint. It's done by other NZ teams in other sports. It was even done by NZ players playing with Munster. Let them at it. It's tradition.

When I lived in NZ the Aussies were trying their best to convince the World Rugby Union to get the pre match Haka dropped. The WRU turned round and said its a 100+ year tradition and not a hope. So at the next match in Australia after the Kiwis had done the haka the Aussies had a Garth Brooks lookalike on the pitch singing Waltzing Matilda for a few minutes. The idea was the the psychological impact of the haka would be lost. It didn't work, the Aussies got hammered and could no longer blame it on the haka, they were just sh1te.

the evasion_kid · 06-10-2015 8:00pm

Wheel out some portaloos and the opposing team members take a dump in front of them with the doors open

Agricola · 06-10-2015 8:01pm

Do a ROG on 'em. Hands in the pócaí and stare into space.

osarusan · 06-10-2015 8:01pm

Line up, pay it the perfunctory attention it apparently merits, and get back to thinking about the game.

I hate hearing teams talking about their 'response' to the Haka - it only means something if you let it mean something.

This is what it used to look like before they decided to make a big intimidating deal out of it (and everybody else let them):

trashcan · 06-10-2015 8:02pm

Point and laugh.

AlmightyCushion · 06-10-2015 8:03pm

Put up an episode of fair city on the big screen. We should embrace our poorly produced home grown content and use it to our advantage.
The sheer awfulness of the writing and wooden acting will strike fear and terror into the heart of our competition. Most, if not all, teams will probably forfeit the game less than a minute into the episode. The UN will probably intervene at some point as subjecting someone to some thing as awful as fair city will probably be considered a form of torture.

Knex* · 06-10-2015 8:04pm

osarusan wrote: »

Line up, pay it the perfunctory attention it apparently merits, and get back to thinking about the game.

I hate hearing teams talking about their 'response' to the Haka - it only means something if you let it mean something.

This is what it used to look like before they decided to make a big intimidating deal out of it (and everybody else let them):

Basically when the team were the all awkward whites

martingriff · 06-10-2015 8:05pm

Fleawuss wrote: »

The Haka is the pre match ritual of the All Blacks, New Zealand's rugby union team. Essentially it's a Maori war dance to intimidate opponents. Teams tend to line up to face it and try to face it down. We have never beaten the All Blacks in an international. What's the best response to it apart from winning the match? Turn your back to show contempt for primitive rituals? For the hypocrisy of white New Zealanders adopting a cultural relic from the people they dispossessed? Not taking it seriously and giving them the finger? Bombard it with garryowens? Riverdance? What says AH?

There was a game in 2006 where the Welsh desrespected/showed contempt for the Haka demanding it be between anthems when they said no they did it in the dressing room. It did not end well for the Welsh both physically and in the scoreboard. Anyway it is wrong to show contempt for something because you do not like it.

UsedToWait · 06-10-2015 8:11pm

Fleawuss wrote: »

The Haka is the pre match ritual of the All Blacks, New Zealand's rugby union team. Essentially it's a Maori war dance to intimidate opponents. Teams tend to line up to face it and try to face it down. We have never beaten the All Blacks in an international. What's the best response to it apart from winning the match? Turn your back to show contempt for primitive rituals? For the hypocrisy of white New Zealanders adopting a cultural relic from the people they dispossessed? Not taking it seriously and giving them the finger? Bombard it with garryowens? Riverdance? What says AH?

The Safety Dance

martingriff · 06-10-2015 8:12pm

In fairness as the video in CTR ALT DELETE post said if your going to get intimidated or piss your pants then maybe you should not be playing rugby. The Haka does not make us loose to New Zealand them been better than us that or just ask Munster how we did it. If you let it get in your head and think its intimidating then it well and the only one to blame is yourself

Patrick Wheelock · 06-10-2015 8:15pm

It's mumbo jumbo rubbish that is a throwback to savages.

Ignore it.

CrowdedHouse · 06-10-2015 8:18pm

If the Haka is so great, how come the Maori are ruled by white Europeans and the Queen of England is the head of state?

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo · 06-10-2015 8:24pm

CrowdedHouse wrote: »

If the Haka is so great, how come the Maori are ruled by white Europeans and the Queen of England is the head of state?

Gun beats spear.

Pac1Man · 06-10-2015 8:32pm

The Welsh stare-down was memorable but my favourite response was the French, spearheaded by Chabal which they ended up winning.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 06-10-2015 8:40pm

Plenty of previous responses here - http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/rugbyunion/international/newzealand/8848272/Rugby-World-Cup-2011-five-best-responses-to-the-haka.html

Seems better to just stand and wait.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo · 06-10-2015 8:41pm

Pac1Man wrote: »

The Welsh stare-down was memorable but my favourite response was the French, spearheaded by Chabal which they ended up winning.

Sport is such a psychological battle some kind of response is necessary. It's given far too much respect and reverence by opposing teams.

06-10-2015 8:45pm

What's the best response to German efficiency on Thursday night?

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo · 06-10-2015 8:49pm

Deleted User wrote: »

What's the best response to German efficiency on Thursday night?

Agricultural John O Shea got us a point last time.

osarusan · 06-10-2015 8:49pm

Deleted User wrote: »

What's the best response to German efficiency on Thursday night?

Just ignore it.

Fleawuss · 06-10-2015 8:52pm

Deleted User wrote: »

What's the best response to German efficiency on Thursday night?

Start your own thread!

Hold up big VW signs.

crosstownk · 06-10-2015 8:52pm

Get these lads out to face the All Blacks down......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycVVKBLC1sQ

castletownman · 06-10-2015 8:55pm

Does it say it all about the sport as a whole that there's more talk about traditions like the Haka, "Swing Low Sweet Chariot", the drinking songs and camarderie, and the current concussion debate, than about the actual intricacies and skill-set of the game itself?

Henry Ford III · 06-10-2015 9:02pm

There's a strong case to be made for mooning back at them.

Collie D · 06-10-2015 9:03pm

Ctrl Alt Delete wrote: »

Ignore it or do what Ireland done a good while back only team to take it right up square to their faces

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fg4FyhZ-Kg

Didn't an All Black try to use Brian O'Driscoll's head as a shovel the last time an Irishman tried that?

Collie D · 06-10-2015 9:04pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

What's the best response to German efficiency on Thursday night?

Get our allies to open a western front?

Bonzo Delaney · 06-10-2015 9:14pm

Stand back ,admire the song and dance
Give them a round of applause afterwards. Wish them well
Then knock seven shades of sheight out them an win the bloody game........
Then I wake up and have my cornflakes.

dirtyden · 06-10-2015 9:20pm

castletownman wrote: »

Does it say it all about the sport as a whole that there's more talk about traditions like the Haka, "Swing Low Sweet Chariot", the drinking songs and camarderie, and the current concussion debate, than about the actual intricacies and skill-set of the game itself?

Most people talk about the sport itself.