Do you think if you told that you had a terminal disease that you try enjoy life?

Ginger83 · 27-09-2020 8:44pm

AMKC wrote: »

So if you were told you had a terminal disease and say only 6 month to a year left that you could enjoy life still. Say you had plenty of money and the doctor said you should enjoy the time you have left. Would you and could you?
I am not sure I could. I would be more concerned with been comfortable and relaxing at home. Maybe go swimming if I could and for nice walks in forests and along the beach.

As someone in the position you have just described I can tell you that you can absolutely continue to enjoy life. If anything it becomes more enjoyable.

Gruffalux · 27-09-2020 8:48pm

I would take mushrooms and DMT. At the moment I am too nervous to do that as I din't want to mess with what equilibrium I have, but I would go for it if dying. The plan is to try them anyway once over 70.

Errashareesh · 27-09-2020 10:10pm

bobbyy gee wrote: »

Life is a
terminal disease

An Ri rua wrote: »

We all have one. It's called Death and it's only a few years away. But people act like it's forever or that they'll make it that far.

As Lemmy said, "Killed by Death"....

Have you any sensitivity towards people who have a terminal illness? "Life is a terminal illness" is so insensitive. No we don't all have a terminal illness. Only people with a terminal illness have a terminal illness. People already used that line in the thread before you also - it didn't look insightful and profound then, so it certainly doesn't look it when repeated.

The rest have the chance of living until they are old, and without the pain of being diagnosed with a terminal illness early in life and gruelling treatments.

bb1234567 wrote: »

The altnerative is you waste your final time on earth doing nothing but being miserable ,so yes. Horrible position but you have to be strong for those around you. Obviously your loved ones will be devastated but you shouldn't make them suffer ongoing emotional misery for your last few months/years. Try to make the last of your time together as impactful. Moping around is certainly not impactful for any of the right reasons. Easier said than done but feeling sorry for yourself until your pass will just clouds your loved one's last memories with them.

Nobody wants to be remembered for that. I'd try to be as positive as I could, I'd say yes to anything and everything and say **** it to say any hesitation because who cares about consequences if you're not going to be around for them

You don't know until you receive the diagnosis. People who actually have received such nightmare news don't need to be lectured. I think most people would also prefer not to cause their loved ones additional pain but the terminally ill patient is going to have good days and bad days... and right after their diagnosis they're going to need a good deal of time, understanding and patience to process things. Being cheery and optimistic and productive won't be top of the list.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 28-09-2020 6:41am

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Please please please don't ever say that to a terminally ill person. I'm not saying you have ever said it to a terminally ill person but please please don't. It is such a kick in the teeth. I once had a hospital consultant say something similar to me days after I received a diagnosis that cut my life expectancy in half. It's in the top five worst things anyone has ever said to me.

It's true though... life is terminal.

We humans can get very complacent, because we think we have 85-90 years in this life.

I prefer to take the mentality of a wild animal, that never knows where it's next meal is coming from or whether it will survive until tomorrow.

28-09-2020 7:12am

AMKC wrote: »

So if you were told you had a terminal disease and say only 6 month to a year left that you could enjoy life still. Say you had plenty of money and the doctor said you should enjoy the time you have left. Would you and could you?
I am not sure I could. I would be more concerned with been comfortable and relaxing at home. Maybe go swimming if I could and for nice walks in forests and along the beach.

Being comfortable, relaxing, and going for nice walks is enjoying life if it’s what makes you happy.

Graces7 · 28-09-2020 7:36am

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Just be with your family and friends more than you have been. All the travelling in the world doesn't mean anything if you have no one who cares for you.

Anyway it's looking like we are in the Departure Lounge and trying to dodge Covid anyway. That has stopped the bucket lists for many.

BTW I lost my sister at 48 and my Dad at 66, so I know the score. Many don't and speak without experience of end of life.

Commiserations, fellow-traveller. I lost my only brother at 19 and my mother at 68, both violent accidental deaths, and yes it alters your perspective. Gives life a huge value as it is so fragile .

Graces7 · 28-09-2020 7:39am

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

It's true though... life is terminal.

That is not what terminal means. Wrong word. Finite yes but that does not mean we go round in emotional sackcloth and ashes! Until and unless you are facing imminent death ..

ILoveYourVibes · 28-09-2020 7:41am

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 28-09-2020 8:12am

Graces7 wrote: »

That is not what terminal means. Wrong word. Finite yes but that does not mean we go round in emotional sackcloth and ashes! Until and unless you are facing imminent death ..

Everyone has the right to view their life and death how they see fit.

There is an arrogant supposition being made by some here, that one cannot have the same understanding of death or the true value of life... unless you have been given a diagnosis of a terminal disease.

This is quite frankly, bullsh!t...

You have no idea what other people have gone through in their lives. Many people will endure things that are in some cases much more challenging than facing an early exit from this life. There is such a thing as a living hell for some people. A nightmare they wake up to everyday, rather than going to sleep to experience!

There should be more respect given to everyone's personal experiences in this life... instead of certain people trying to elevate their particular circumstances to a point where they are somehow more qualified to give their opinion. This is an arrogant stance to take!

Kylta · 28-09-2020 8:16am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

no

What?

ILoveYourVibes · 28-09-2020 8:18am

Kylta wrote: »

What?

If i had a terminal disease i would not try to enjoy life.

Kylta · 28-09-2020 8:22am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

If i had a terminal disease i would not try to enjoy life.

What would you do?

ILoveYourVibes · 28-09-2020 11:27am

Kylta wrote: »

What would you do?

Nothing any differently.

Hannibal_Smith · 28-09-2020 11:38am

When I think of being moments from croaking it, I don't think I'm going to regret not doing anything. The only thing I imagine wanting to not miss out on is snuggling my kids for as long as I can. As long as I spend every effort before carking it making sure they know I love them and have got everything, or as much as they need out of their relationship with me, that's all I could imagine wanting.

Whether they want to be in a room with a near dead person is another thing :pac:

Vita nova · 28-09-2020 11:38am

I would try to enjoy my last days but just as important to me would be to make sure my affairs were in order so that my friends and relatives aren't left with a load of problems to sort out. Obviously make a will, sort out any issues with property such as non-compliant mods etc., and if possible liquidate assets that are going to be liquidated anyway.

Also, make sure that the funeral arrangements will be paid for and some money put aside for a reception and some nice food.

28-09-2020 11:41am

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Please please please don't ever say that to a terminally ill person. I'm not saying you have ever said it to a terminally ill person but please please don't. It is such a kick in the teeth.

Having not really thought of that way before I think my first reaction is to agree with you - it is probably not for the "terminally alive" - as one now dead friend used to jokingly call us - to be coming out with that comment to the terminally ill. I will make sure never to do it - thank you.

From the other side though - I find a small increase in my respect for the terminally ill people who are the first to say it. Especially if they do so with humour. Like my friend calling us the "Terminally alive".

Chritopher Hitchens was a great example of this in the final interviews he did. So often the interviewer would ask him "So - how are you?" and he would reply wryly "Well - I'm dying. But so are you."

Gruffalux · 28-09-2020 12:47pm

Vita nova wrote: »

I would try to enjoy my last days but just as important to me would be to make sure my affairs were in order so that my friends and relatives aren't left with a load of problems to sort out. Obviously make a will, sort out any issues with property such as non-compliant mods etc., and if possible liquidate assets that are going to be liquidated anyway.

Also, make sure that the funeral arrangements will be paid for and some money put aside for a reception and some nice food.

Oh yeah, for sure. It would be breaking out the burn barrel for me! Don't want any evidence left of my madness

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 28-09-2020 3:45pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Having not really thought of that way before I think my first reaction is to agree with you - it is probably not for the "terminally alive" - as one now dead friend used to jokingly call us - to be coming out with that comment to the terminally ill. I will make sure never to do it - thank you.

From the other side though - I find a small increase in my respect for the terminally ill people who are the first to say it. Especially if they do so with humour. Like my friend calling us the "Terminally alive".

Chritopher Hitchens was a great example of this in the final interviews he did. So often the interviewer would ask him "So - how are you?" and he would reply wryly "Well - I'm dying. But so are you."

Well, I certainly don’t speak for all terminally ill people. We’re not a hive mind. But if the “sure we're all terminal” sentiment is badly received by even 50% of us, it’s not worth the risk of saying, IMO.

And, Tax, I really mean this in the best possible way but I don’t care if somebody respects me or not for hating the “Sure we're all dying” utterance.

dennyire · 28-09-2020 3:54pm

Graces7 wrote: »

I am in the process of sorting " end of life" matters so that it will be easier for friends and family. Making a will etc, filling forms in. I really think we should all do that. Details of how and where I will be buried.

And my next task is to sort out all my small possessions; give things away. Make it easier for others.

have look at think ahead document

You can google and down load it

28-09-2020 4:01pm

I hate this rubbish with people talking about others dying with dignity, not making others suffer, fighting battles and otherwise not just being allowed feel whatever they feel even if it makes close ones feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't want anyone I love pretending to be cheerful when they're withering with fear, pain or anxiety inside, I don't want anyone I love being told they need to fight harder when all they can do is try survive one treatment after another, and I don't want anyone being described as dignified because they didn't wail against the diagnosis or were outraged at being cheated at a long life with all the possibilities that brings.

Nobody knows how they'll deal with a shortened lifespan. I lost a sibling to a terminal illness in my early twenties, I lost a parent to another a couple of years ago. They did their best to accept their situations and make the most of time while they still could, but having the party to end all parties was the last thing on either of their minds.

Everyone is different, and the 'sure I could be killed by a bus tomorrow' crowd are to be ignored. A young person should have decades of life ahead and when they don't it's okay to feel grief, and it's not okay to dismiss it like some minor twist of fate that could happen anyone. Because it isn't and it doesn't, and most people will live well beyond retirement age.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 28-09-2020 4:08pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Well, I certainly don’t speak for all terminally ill people. We’re not a hive mind. But if the “sure we're all terminal” sentiment is badly received by even 50% of us, it’s not worth the risk of saying, IMO.

And, Tax, I really mean this in the best possible way but I don’t care if somebody respects me or not for hating the “Sure we're all dying” utterance.

Terminally ill or not, you probably need to be a bit less triggered by someone's opinion on life and death.

I also couldn't care less if anyone respects my view that "life is terminal" is a perfectly fine view to hold/express. (which it is)

I know someone who uses that line all the time, and they have suffered some of the worst tragedies that any one person could endure in their lifetime. They don't have a terminal illness, but they are living through what I would consider to be some of the harshest set of cards anyone could be dealt.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 28-09-2020 4:14pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

Terminally ill or not, you probably need to be a bit less triggered by someone's opinion on life and death.

I also couldn't care less if anyone respects my view that "life is terminal" is a perfectly fine view to hold/express. (which it is)

I know someone who uses that line all the time, and they have suffered some of the worst tragedies that any one person could endure in their lifetime. They don't have a terminal illness, but they are living through what I would consider to be some of the harshest set of cards anyone could be dealt.

Will you ever go and shite.

People can have whatever opinion they want. They should also have tact. I’ve had people glibly say that sh1t to me knowing my situation. Farting about life being terminal to somebody who won’t see forty, like they’ve said something incredibly profound. When they just said something incredibly banal.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 28-09-2020 4:21pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Will you ever go and shite.

People can have whatever opinion they want. They should also have tact. I’ve had people glibly say that sh1t to me knowing my situation.

Perhaps that's just how they view life?

Some people are a great deal more philosophical about these things. Maybe you are choosing to be offended, but not everybody who says something along those lines means to offend... that's just their outlook on life/death.

If I was to say something like that to you in person, for example, I would not be doing it to cause upset or anguish... it's just my mindset. But unfortunately people do get offended and triggered by other people's perfectly valid viewpoints.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 28-09-2020 4:27pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

Perhaps that's just how they view life?

Some people are a great deal more philosophical about these things. Maybe you are choosing to be offended, but not everybody who says something along those lines means to offend... that's just their outlook on life/death.

If I was to say something like that to you in person, for example, I would not be doing it to cause upset or anguish... it's just my mindset. But unfortunately people do get offended and triggered by other people's perfectly valid viewpoints.

They can view it however they want. Not every thought needs to expressed, you know. Smugly saying to someone who is terminally ill at a young age that life is terminal is trite, the opposite of profound and just plain tactless.

And, seriously, shut the fuck up about me being “triggered”. As if I’m getting bothered about something inconsequential rather than my life ending decades too soon.

28-09-2020 4:28pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

Perhaps that's just how they view life?

Some people are a great deal more philosophical about these things. Maybe you are choosing to be offended, but not everybody who says something along those lines means to offend... that's just their outlook on life/death.

If I was to say something like that to you in person, for example, I would not be doing it to cause upset or anguish... it's just my mindset. But unfortunately people do get offended and triggered by other people's perfectly valid viewpoints.

You know the option is there not to share your opinion so crassly with a terminally ill person at all, right?

Go right ahead and think whatever you want, but have the decency to avoid saying something that will likely cause pain to people who already have enough to deal with.

ETA: ODB said it first, and said it better.

Gruffalux · 28-09-2020 4:28pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

Perhaps that's just how they view life?

Some people are a great deal more philosophical about these things. Maybe you are choosing to be offended, but not everybody who says something along those lines means to offend... that's just their outlook on life/death.

If I was to say something like that to you in person, for example, I would not be doing it to cause upset or anguish... it's just my mindset. But unfortunately people do get offended and triggered by other people's perfectly valid viewpoints.

Yes. And unfortunately some people are also arseholes.

EmmetSpiceland · 28-09-2020 4:33pm

The ‘life is terminal’ line, and its derivatives, sound like something from a bad 50’s B-movie about teenage bikers.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 28-09-2020 4:37pm

Candie wrote: »

You know the option is there not to share your opinion so crassly with a terminally ill person at all, right?

Go right ahead and think whatever you want, but have the decency to avoid saying something that will likely cause pain to people who already have enough to deal with.

ETA: ODB said it first, and said it better.

It’s like people upbraiding those of us who oppose end-of-chemo bells in oncology wards, because so many people present are in their last days. I’ve seen people admonished as being “envious” in comment sections, sometimes by healthcare professionals working in oncology. My thinking is “Damn straight I'm envious! I want to live!”. The idea of using the “Ur jus jellus” sentiment against people who are devastated that they are dying - I just can’t understand having so little empathy. Hospitals used to be a place where tact was important. You don’t know what anyone present is going through. But what I like to call toxic positivity has taken over.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 28-09-2020 4:40pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

They can view it however they want. Not every thought needs to expressed, you know. Smugly saying to someone who is terminally ill at a young age that life is terminal is trite, the opposite of profound and just plain tactless.

And, seriously, shut the fuck up about me being “triggered”. As if I’m getting bothered about something inconsequential rather than my life ending decades too soon.

How do you know someone is being smug when they say something on a forum? :rolleyes:

People were expressing perfectly valid views and mindsets on life and death in this thread, and we are basically being bullied into not holding those views... just because there might be some people who are terminally ill - and don't like those particular views.

Newsflash: There are always going to be terminally ill people... everywhere... every second of the day. That's just an unfortunate fact of life.

You can't stop someone from expressing their views on life/death, just because your circumstances make those particular views seem glib TO YOU... they may not be viewed that way by other people.

I view life in a more philosophical way than other people. And I would still feel the same way even if I was terminally ill... I know because I have faced death many times. I don't fear it, and I actually think it is something to be embraced. And I know others in very bad situations that have a similar outlook.

But that's just my opinion... it's not one held by many other people. And that's perfectly fine. But I'm not going to be brow-beaten or bullied by anyone into not expressing a particular opinion, that might trigger someone.

28-09-2020 4:43pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

How do you know someone is being smug when they say something on a forum? :rolleyes:

People were expressing perfectly valid views and mindsets on life and death in this thread, and we are basically being bullied into not holding those views... just because there might be some people who are terminally ill - and don't like those particular views.

Newsflash: There are always going to be terminally ill people... everywhere... every second of the day. That's just an unfortunate fact of life.

You can't stop someone from expressing their views on life/death, just because your circumstances make those particular views seem glib TO YOU... they may not be viewed that way by other people.

I view life in a more philosophical way that other people. And I would still feel the same way even if I was terminally ill... I know because I have faced death many times. I don't fear it, and I actually think it is something to be embraced. And I know others in very bad situations that have a similar outlook.

But that's just my opinion... it's not one held by many other people. And that's perfectly fine. But I'm not going to be brow-beaten or bullied by anyone into not expressing a particular opinion, that might trigger someone.

Nobody is telling you what to think or bullying you.

It's not bullying if people ask you to reconsider acting like a malicious child to a terminally ill person.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 28-09-2020 6:46pm

My only objection is if somebody actually said that sh1t to somebody who is dying. I’m not telling people what to think. I’m saying be tactful.

Errashareesh · 28-09-2020 6:57pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

And, seriously, shut the fuck up about me being “triggered”. As if I’m getting bothered about something inconsequential rather than my life ending decades too soon.

It blows my mind that someone could be that insensitive to a young, terminally ill person. I'm rather amazed by some of the comments here.

Like, to me, really valuing life is viewing a terminal illness as one of the worst things possible. Not "ah but we all go sometime".

And saying life is a terminal illness is just vile.

bobbyy gee · 28-09-2020 6:59pm

when you have terminal illness your sick and in pain if yo have chemo it makes you sick and weak

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 28-09-2020 7:29pm

Errashareesh wrote: »

It blows my mind that someone could be that insensitive to a young, terminally ill person. I'm rather amazed by some of the comments here.

Like, to me, really valuing life is viewing a terminal illness as one of the worst things possible. Not "ah but we all go sometime".

I've highlighted the most relevant part of your post.

You have to recognise and respect that not everyone views it the same way you do! And it's not necessarily disrespectful or insensitive to hold an opposing view.

We do "all go sometime". So why is it insensitive to recognise this fact, and express an opinion on a thread about different ways to view life and death?

Just because someone has a terminal illness, doesn't mean we all have to hold the same opinion on life/death... just so someone doesn't get offended. That's no way to have a mature discussion on something.

Some people don't see death as that big of a deal... it's an inevitable part of life, and in fact it could be something to look forward to and celebrate depending on your mindset. So yes, "life is terminal" "life is short"..... life is all sorts of things to different people. All of these opinions are valid, and should be respected...

Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how they should view life/death... or even terminal illness. It's YOUR choice how you view these things. It's an individual choice.

Telling people to "go ****e" or "fcuk off" just for holding the opposite view to their own, is very uncivilized and frankly obnoxious behaviour.

I have not seen a single post on this thread, where anybody deliberately attempted to offend anyone else with their remarks... just people expressing their own viewpoints in the issue, which obviously are all going to differ from person to person. (I wasn't referring to you Errashareesh with these comments - just the other poster who made those remarks)

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 28-09-2020 7:34pm

Candie wrote: »

Nobody is telling you what to think or bullying you.

It's not bullying if people ask you to reconsider acting like a malicious child to a terminally ill person.

Who is acting malicious?

I have not seen a single "malicious" post in this thread... just people giving differing opinions on the subject matter.

Are you saying holding alternate views on life/death is somehow wrong or "malicious" in a thread aimed at discussing attitudes to impending death from terminal illness? Seems like a very odd attitude to take!?

Gruffalux · 28-09-2020 7:34pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

I've highlighted the most relevant part of your post.

You have to recognise and respect that not everyone views it the same way you do! And it's not necessarily disrespectful or insensitive to hold an opposing view.

We do "all go sometime". So why is it insensitive to recognise this fact, and express an opinion on a thread about different ways to view life and death?

Just because someone has a terminal illness, doesn't mean we all have to hold the same opinion on life/death... just so someone doesn't get offended. That's no way to have a mature discussion on something.

Some people don't see death as that big of a deal... it's an inevitable part of life, and in fact it could be something to look forward to and celebrate depending on your mindset. So yes, "life is terminal" "life is short"..... life is all sorts of things to different people. All of these opinions are valid, and should be respected...

Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how they should view life/death... or even terminal illness. It's YOUR choice how you view these things. It's an individual choice.

Telling people to "go ****e" or "fcuk off" just for holding the opposite view to their own, is very uncivilized and frankly obnoxious behaviour.

I have not seen a single post on this thread, where anybody deliberately attempted to offend anyone else with their remarks... just people expressing their own viewpoints in the issue, which obviously are all going to differ from person to person. (I wasn't referring to you Errashareesh with these comments - just the other poster who made those remarks)

Nobody wants to control what you think. It is the insistence that you can express the one about 'we all gotta go sometime' to someone actually facing death that is being discusssed. You can be the world's most lofty avadhoot and completely resigned to death and still be an arsehole if you actually insist on making your philosophical pronouncements to someone actually facing into death.
Do you tell fat people they are fat? Do you tell unattractive people they are unattractive? Or do you keep your opinions appropriately to yourself rather than hurt another person?

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 28-09-2020 7:44pm

Gruffalux wrote: »

Nobody wants to control what you think. It is the insistence that you can express the one about 'we all gotta go sometime' to someone actually facing death that is being discusssed. You can be the world's most lofty avadhoot and completely resigned to death and still be an arsehole if you actually insist on making your philosophical pronouncements to someone actually facing into death.
Do you tell fat people they are fat? Do you tell unattractive people they are unattractive? Or do you keep your opinions appropriately to yourself rather than hurt another person?

Why would I keep my opinions to myself, on a thread aimed at discussing different ways to view someone's impending death from a terminal illness?

That doesn't make any sense...

If people are offended by certain opinions on death, perhaps they shouldn't read threads such as this one? Rather than trying to bully people into not expressing their own views on the subject.

Gruffalux · 28-09-2020 7:59pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

Why would I keep my opinions to myself, on a thread aimed at discussing different ways to view someone's impending death from a terminal illness?

That doesn't make any sense...

If people are offended by certain opinions on death, perhaps they shouldn't read threads such as this one? Rather than trying to bully people into not expressing their own views on the subject.

You literally said Life is a terminal illness to someone with a terminal illness in response to them asking strongly that people not say to them life is a terminal illness.

You could have found any other way to enlighten the thread about your ideas.

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 28-09-2020 8:12pm

Gruffalux wrote: »

You literally said Life is a terminal illness to someone with a terminal illness in response to them asking strongly that people not say to them life is a terminal illness.

You could have found any other way to enlighten the thread about your ideas.

Nope, all I did was agree with the other posters who had already expressed that opinion in the thread... as it is a perfectly valid viewpoint to hold in a thread discussing people's different views on death from a terminal illness.

Like I said, there is always going to be people dying from terminal illnesses... all over the world somewhere. That doesn't mean you should be stopped from having such discussions, or expressing your opinions.

There was nothing posted in this thread that was intended to offend anyone, from what I have seen... only people's differing opinions. People may be choosing to find certain viewpoints offensive, because they don't like those opinions... but that doesn't mean that those views are inherently offensive or indeed deliberately intended to offend anyone. They're just opposing views.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 28-09-2020 9:02pm

Errashareesh wrote: »

It blows my mind that someone could be that insensitive to a young, terminally ill person. I'm rather amazed by some of the comments here.

Like, to me, really valuing life is viewing a terminal illness as one of the worst things possible. Not "ah but we all go sometime".

And saying life is a terminal illness is just vile.

Hospital consultant to me, days out from my diagnosis: “Sure, we could all die tomorrow”. Yeah, doc, an unlikely event is exactly the same as seeing your future evaporate before your eyes. :rolleyes:

.anon. · 28-09-2020 9:25pm

'Life is a terminal illness' is right up there with 'I'm here for a good time, not a long time'. It's like, so original, dude. Most of us will be here for an incomprehensibly long time. Some of us inevitably will turn out not to be that fortunate, but we've no solid reason to believe that death is not a long way off - so far into the future that it's not something that we think about regularly. At least we don't think about it beyond giving glib answers to threads like this. My glib answer is that I'd fill myself with all the hard drugs that I've been afraid to take so far (which is all the hard drugs). But I don't know what I'd do. Maybe I'd drive my car into a wall at high speed. Maybe I'd travel the world and strike a load of shit off the bucket list. Or maybe I'd be like one of those characters on EastEnders or Coronation Street, lashing out and insisting that those doctors don't know what they're talking about and I ain't 'avin' no treatment cause I ain't got cancer.

My mother, when she found out that she had a terminal illness, was determined to enjoy life. Which she did. Right up until her final days, she was still meeting old friends for coffee, going out for dinner, random weekends away, having friends around for drinks, sneaking out of the hospice for a McDonald's, wringing whatever fun she could from what was left of her life. She crammed a lot of fun into her last year, but it was painfully obvious that she was absolutely devastated that time was ticking away and she would have gladly swapped the fun for another twenty or thirty mediocre years instead. She would've retired this year. That's something she was really looking forward to.

4Ad · 28-09-2020 9:30pm

.anon. wrote: »

'Life is a terminal illness' is right up there with 'I'm here for a good time, not a long time'. It's like, so original, dude. Most of us will be here for an incomprehensibly long time. Some of us inevitably will turn out not to be that fortunate, but we've no solid reason to believe that death is not a long way off - so far into the future that it's not something that we think about regularly. At least we don't think about it beyond giving glib answers to threads like this. My glib answer is that I'd fill myself with all the hard drugs that I've been afraid to take so far (which is all the hard drugs). But I don't know what I'd do. Maybe I'd drive my car into a wall at high speed. Maybe I'd travel the world and strike a load of shit off the bucket list. Or maybe I'd be like one of those characters on EastEnders or Coronation Street, lashing out and insisting that those doctors don't know what they're talking about and I ain't 'avin' no treatment cause I ain't got cancer.

My mother, when she found out that she had a terminal illness, was determined to enjoy life. Which she did. Right up until her final days, she was still meeting old friends for coffee, going out for dinner, random weekends away, having friends around for drinks, sneaking out of the hospice for a McDonald's, wringing whatever fun she could from what was left of her life. She crammed a lot of fun into her last year, but it was painfully obvious that she was absolutely devastated that time was ticking away and she would have gladly swapped the fun for another twenty or thirty mediocre years instead. She would've retired this year. That's something she was really looking forward to.

Your Mother was great, I'd say she was a lovely person.
I guess it wasn't easy for ye but such is life..

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! · 28-09-2020 10:12pm

.anon. wrote: »

'Life is a terminal illness' is right up there with 'I'm here for a good time, not a long time'. It's like, so original, dude.

Why does it matter how original the view is?

It's a perspective that is just as valid as any other, and therefore worthy of the same respect.

How is saying "I'd take every drug going" or "I'd tick everything off the bucket list" any more original of an outlook? It's a plain old vanilla reaction.

Nobody's perspective or outlook on death should be considered more valid than anyone else's. No matter what you circumstances are, you have the right to view it your way. Without being bullied into conforming to someone else's way of thinking!

54and56 · 08-10-2020 11:11am

It'll be interesting to see how individual TD's voted in the Dying with Dignity Bill last night.

https://www.rte.ie/news/politics/2020/1007/1170121-dying-with-dignity/

Don't suppose anyone can link to a list of who voted yes/no/abstained?

I've googled it and checked https://www.oireachtas.ie/en/debates...ebateType=dail but can't see the list anywhere.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 08-10-2020 2:53pm

I would desperately love assisted suicide to be legalised. Ironically, it would give me life. To know that I have a dose there if the pain gets too much would be such a comfort. But I'm not going to get my hopes up.

Errashareesh · 08-10-2020 3:43pm

Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »

Nobody's perspective or outlook on death should be considered more valid than anyone else's.

I think it should - not all views are valid/informed. Nobody who is alive and well and far from old has a clue what they'd feel or do if they were suddenly hit with the news that they are going to die early in life.

People who have a terminal illness are also very justified in being critical of "we're all gonna die". It is grossly insensitive. Someone dying at 40 (with years of physical and emotional pain before that) and someone dying of old age... we're talking two different universes. Someone who's in their 30s and terminally ill being told by someone who isn't dying, that they're being triggered... I cannot believe how lacking in empathy that is.

Comparing the mind of a healthy young or middle aged person to that of someone who is dying... is not making a valid comparison. The healthy person doesn't have an inkling.

I do understand people saying you should seize the day no matter what - and I agree. But having all your time left (that you know of) means you can take it for granted at times too (that's part of the journey). Terminally ill people don't have that luxury. The fact we are all gonna die does not make "life is a terminal illness" an appropriate or accurate thing to say (it's a symbolic saying I know, but even symbolic sayings have a grain of truth to them). Life in and of itself does not mean the horror that has to be gone through when diagnosed with a terminal illness. Very few people have to go through that.

Errashareesh · 08-10-2020 3:44pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Hospital consultant to me, days out from my diagnosis: “Sure, we could all die tomorrow”. Yeah, doc, an unlikely event is exactly the same as seeing your future evaporate before your eyes. :rolleyes:

No we couldn't all die tomorrow. Such vapidness. Medical consultants aren't noted for their communications skills though.

mariaalice · 08-10-2020 4:00pm

I have heard a doctor talking about how patients who are diagnosed with a terminal illness gave up antidepressants because they wanted to be fully present in their own lives and fully present to their children.

54and56 · 08-10-2020 4:00pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

I would desperately love assisted suicide to be legalised. Ironically, it would give me life. To know that I have a dose there if the pain gets too much would be such a comfort. But I'm not going to get my hopes up.

Why not? Last nights vote is serious progress.

Get your hopes up. Talk about it with your friends and family. Advocate. Use your voice to influence change.

If enough of us do a little bit, change will happen.

One little step at a time.

It's not like significant social change isn't a well trodden path over the last 25 years

the purple tin · 08-10-2020 4:59pm

If I was going to check out soon I'd like to borrow as much money as I possibly could from the nastiest loan-sharks around and give it all to charity.

Do you think if you told that you had a terminal disease that you try enjoy life?

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