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Do you think if you told that you had a terminal disease that you try enjoy life?

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13

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    #62
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Kylta wrote: »
    What?
    If i had a terminal disease i would not try to enjoy life.


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    #63
    Kylta
    Registered Users Posts: 15,457 ✭✭✭✭Kylta


    ILoveYourVibes wrote: »
    If i had a terminal disease i would not try to enjoy life.

    What would you do?


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    #64
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Kylta wrote: »
    What would you do?
    Nothing any differently.


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    #65
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,989 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    When I think of being moments from croaking it, I don't think I'm going to regret not doing anything. The only thing I imagine wanting to not miss out on is snuggling my kids for as long as I can. As long as I spend every effort before carking it making sure they know I love them and have got everything, or as much as they need out of their relationship with me, that's all I could imagine wanting.

    Whether they want to be in a room with a near dead person is another thing :pac:


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    #66
    Vita nova
    Registered Users Posts: 740 ✭✭✭Vita nova


    I would try to enjoy my last days but just as important to me would be to make sure my affairs were in order so that my friends and relatives aren't left with a load of problems to sort out. Obviously make a will, sort out any issues with property such as non-compliant mods etc., and if possible liquidate assets that are going to be liquidated anyway.

    Also, make sure that the funeral arrangements will be paid for and some money put aside for a reception and some nice food.


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    #67
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    Please please please don't ever say that to a terminally ill person. I'm not saying you have ever said it to a terminally ill person but please please don't. It is such a kick in the teeth.

    Having not really thought of that way before I think my first reaction is to agree with you - it is probably not for the "terminally alive" - as one now dead friend used to jokingly call us - to be coming out with that comment to the terminally ill. I will make sure never to do it - thank you.

    From the other side though - I find a small increase in my respect for the terminally ill people who are the first to say it. Especially if they do so with humour. Like my friend calling us the "Terminally alive".

    Chritopher Hitchens was a great example of this in the final interviews he did. So often the interviewer would ask him "So - how are you?" and he would reply wryly "Well - I'm dying. But so are you."


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    #68
    Gruffalux
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Gruffalux


    Vita nova wrote: »
    I would try to enjoy my last days but just as important to me would be to make sure my affairs were in order so that my friends and relatives aren't left with a load of problems to sort out. Obviously make a will, sort out any issues with property such as non-compliant mods etc., and if possible liquidate assets that are going to be liquidated anyway.

    Also, make sure that the funeral arrangements will be paid for and some money put aside for a reception and some nice food.

    Oh yeah, for sure. It would be breaking out the burn barrel for me! Don't want any evidence left of my madness :D


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    #69
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Having not really thought of that way before I think my first reaction is to agree with you - it is probably not for the "terminally alive" - as one now dead friend used to jokingly call us - to be coming out with that comment to the terminally ill. I will make sure never to do it - thank you.

    From the other side though - I find a small increase in my respect for the terminally ill people who are the first to say it. Especially if they do so with humour. Like my friend calling us the "Terminally alive".

    Chritopher Hitchens was a great example of this in the final interviews he did. So often the interviewer would ask him "So - how are you?" and he would reply wryly "Well - I'm dying. But so are you."

    Well, I certainly don’t speak for all terminally ill people. We’re not a hive mind. But if the “sure we're all terminal” sentiment is badly received by even 50% of us, it’s not worth the risk of saying, IMO.

    And, Tax, I really mean this in the best possible way but I don’t care if somebody respects me or not for hating the “Sure we're all dying” utterance.


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    #70
    dennyire
    Registered Users Posts: 1,835 ✭✭✭dennyire


    Graces7 wrote: »
    I am in the process of sorting " end of life" matters so that it will be easier for friends and family. Making a will etc, filling forms in. I really think we should all do that. Details of how and where I will be buried.

    And my next task is to sort out all my small possessions; give things away. Make it easier for others.

    have look at think ahead document

    You can google and down load it


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    #71
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I hate this rubbish with people talking about others dying with dignity, not making others suffer, fighting battles and otherwise not just being allowed feel whatever they feel even if it makes close ones feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't want anyone I love pretending to be cheerful when they're withering with fear, pain or anxiety inside, I don't want anyone I love being told they need to fight harder when all they can do is try survive one treatment after another, and I don't want anyone being described as dignified because they didn't wail against the diagnosis or were outraged at being cheated at a long life with all the possibilities that brings.

    Nobody knows how they'll deal with a shortened lifespan. I lost a sibling to a terminal illness in my early twenties, I lost a parent to another a couple of years ago. They did their best to accept their situations and make the most of time while they still could, but having the party to end all parties was the last thing on either of their minds.

    Everyone is different, and the 'sure I could be killed by a bus tomorrow' crowd are to be ignored. A young person should have decades of life ahead and when they don't it's okay to feel grief, and it's not okay to dismiss it like some minor twist of fate that could happen anyone. Because it isn't and it doesn't, and most people will live well beyond retirement age.


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    #72
    Gretas Gonna Get Ya!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,245 ✭✭✭Gretas Gonna Get Ya!


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    Well, I certainly don’t speak for all terminally ill people. We’re not a hive mind. But if the “sure we're all terminal” sentiment is badly received by even 50% of us, it’s not worth the risk of saying, IMO.

    And, Tax, I really mean this in the best possible way but I don’t care if somebody respects me or not for hating the “Sure we're all dying” utterance.

    Terminally ill or not, you probably need to be a bit less triggered by someone's opinion on life and death.

    I also couldn't care less if anyone respects my view that "life is terminal" is a perfectly fine view to hold/express. (which it is)

    I know someone who uses that line all the time, and they have suffered some of the worst tragedies that any one person could endure in their lifetime. They don't have a terminal illness, but they are living through what I would consider to be some of the harshest set of cards anyone could be dealt.


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    #73
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »
    Terminally ill or not, you probably need to be a bit less triggered by someone's opinion on life and death.

    I also couldn't care less if anyone respects my view that "life is terminal" is a perfectly fine view to hold/express. (which it is)

    I know someone who uses that line all the time, and they have suffered some of the worst tragedies that any one person could endure in their lifetime. They don't have a terminal illness, but they are living through what I would consider to be some of the harshest set of cards anyone could be dealt.

    Will you ever go and shite.

    People can have whatever opinion they want. They should also have tact. I’ve had people glibly say that sh1t to me knowing my situation. Farting about life being terminal to somebody who won’t see forty, like they’ve said something incredibly profound. When they just said something incredibly banal.


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    #74
    Gretas Gonna Get Ya!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,245 ✭✭✭Gretas Gonna Get Ya!


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    Will you ever go and shite.

    People can have whatever opinion they want. They should also have tact. I’ve had people glibly say that sh1t to me knowing my situation.

    Perhaps that's just how they view life?

    Some people are a great deal more philosophical about these things. Maybe you are choosing to be offended, but not everybody who says something along those lines means to offend... that's just their outlook on life/death.

    If I was to say something like that to you in person, for example, I would not be doing it to cause upset or anguish... it's just my mindset. But unfortunately people do get offended and triggered by other people's perfectly valid viewpoints.


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    #75
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »
    Perhaps that's just how they view life?

    Some people are a great deal more philosophical about these things. Maybe you are choosing to be offended, but not everybody who says something along those lines means to offend... that's just their outlook on life/death.

    If I was to say something like that to you in person, for example, I would not be doing it to cause upset or anguish... it's just my mindset. But unfortunately people do get offended and triggered by other people's perfectly valid viewpoints.

    They can view it however they want. Not every thought needs to expressed, you know. Smugly saying to someone who is terminally ill at a young age that life is terminal is trite, the opposite of profound and just plain tactless.

    And, seriously, shut the fuck up about me being “triggered”. As if I’m getting bothered about something inconsequential rather than my life ending decades too soon.


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    #76
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »
    Perhaps that's just how they view life?

    Some people are a great deal more philosophical about these things. Maybe you are choosing to be offended, but not everybody who says something along those lines means to offend... that's just their outlook on life/death.

    If I was to say something like that to you in person, for example, I would not be doing it to cause upset or anguish... it's just my mindset. But unfortunately people do get offended and triggered by other people's perfectly valid viewpoints.

    You know the option is there not to share your opinion so crassly with a terminally ill person at all, right?

    Go right ahead and think whatever you want, but have the decency to avoid saying something that will likely cause pain to people who already have enough to deal with.


    ETA: ODB said it first, and said it better.


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    #77
    Gruffalux
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Gruffalux


    Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »
    Perhaps that's just how they view life?

    Some people are a great deal more philosophical about these things. Maybe you are choosing to be offended, but not everybody who says something along those lines means to offend... that's just their outlook on life/death.

    If I was to say something like that to you in person, for example, I would not be doing it to cause upset or anguish... it's just my mindset. But unfortunately people do get offended and triggered by other people's perfectly valid viewpoints.

    Yes. And unfortunately some people are also arseholes.


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    #78
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,601 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    The ‘life is terminal’ line, and its derivatives, sound like something from a bad 50’s B-movie about teenage bikers.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



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    #79
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Candie wrote: »
    You know the option is there not to share your opinion so crassly with a terminally ill person at all, right?

    Go right ahead and think whatever you want, but have the decency to avoid saying something that will likely cause pain to people who already have enough to deal with.


    ETA: ODB said it first, and said it better.

    It’s like people upbraiding those of us who oppose end-of-chemo bells in oncology wards, because so many people present are in their last days. I’ve seen people admonished as being “envious” in comment sections, sometimes by healthcare professionals working in oncology. My thinking is “Damn straight I'm envious! I want to live!”. The idea of using the “Ur jus jellus” sentiment against people who are devastated that they are dying - I just can’t understand having so little empathy. Hospitals used to be a place where tact was important. You don’t know what anyone present is going through. But what I like to call toxic positivity has taken over.


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    #80
    Gretas Gonna Get Ya!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,245 ✭✭✭Gretas Gonna Get Ya!


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    They can view it however they want. Not every thought needs to expressed, you know. Smugly saying to someone who is terminally ill at a young age that life is terminal is trite, the opposite of profound and just plain tactless.

    And, seriously, shut the fuck up about me being “triggered”. As if I’m getting bothered about something inconsequential rather than my life ending decades too soon.

    How do you know someone is being smug when they say something on a forum? :rolleyes:

    People were expressing perfectly valid views and mindsets on life and death in this thread, and we are basically being bullied into not holding those views... just because there might be some people who are terminally ill - and don't like those particular views.

    Newsflash: There are always going to be terminally ill people... everywhere... every second of the day. That's just an unfortunate fact of life.

    You can't stop someone from expressing their views on life/death, just because your circumstances make those particular views seem glib TO YOU... they may not be viewed that way by other people.

    I view life in a more philosophical way than other people. And I would still feel the same way even if I was terminally ill... I know because I have faced death many times. I don't fear it, and I actually think it is something to be embraced. And I know others in very bad situations that have a similar outlook.

    But that's just my opinion... it's not one held by many other people. And that's perfectly fine. But I'm not going to be brow-beaten or bullied by anyone into not expressing a particular opinion, that might trigger someone.


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    #81
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »
    How do you know someone is being smug when they say something on a forum? :rolleyes:

    People were expressing perfectly valid views and mindsets on life and death in this thread, and we are basically being bullied into not holding those views... just because there might be some people who are terminally ill - and don't like those particular views.

    Newsflash: There are always going to be terminally ill people... everywhere... every second of the day. That's just an unfortunate fact of life.

    You can't stop someone from expressing their views on life/death, just because your circumstances make those particular views seem glib TO YOU... they may not be viewed that way by other people.

    I view life in a more philosophical way that other people. And I would still feel the same way even if I was terminally ill... I know because I have faced death many times. I don't fear it, and I actually think it is something to be embraced. And I know others in very bad situations that have a similar outlook.

    But that's just my opinion... it's not one held by many other people. And that's perfectly fine. But I'm not going to be brow-beaten or bullied by anyone into not expressing a particular opinion, that might trigger someone.


    Nobody is telling you what to think or bullying you.

    It's not bullying if people ask you to reconsider acting like a malicious child to a terminally ill person.


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    #82
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    My only objection is if somebody actually said that sh1t to somebody who is dying. I’m not telling people what to think. I’m saying be tactful.


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    #83
    Errashareesh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 572 ✭✭✭Errashareesh


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    And, seriously, shut the fuck up about me being “triggered”. As if I’m getting bothered about something inconsequential rather than my life ending decades too soon.
    It blows my mind that someone could be that insensitive to a young, terminally ill person. I'm rather amazed by some of the comments here.

    Like, to me, really valuing life is viewing a terminal illness as one of the worst things possible. Not "ah but we all go sometime".

    And saying life is a terminal illness is just vile.


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    #84
    bobbyy gee
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,306 ✭✭✭bobbyy gee


    when you have terminal illness your sick and in pain if yo have chemo it makes you sick and weak


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    #85
    Gretas Gonna Get Ya!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,245 ✭✭✭Gretas Gonna Get Ya!


    Errashareesh wrote: »
    It blows my mind that someone could be that insensitive to a young, terminally ill person. I'm rather amazed by some of the comments here.

    Like, to me, really valuing life is viewing a terminal illness as one of the worst things possible. Not "ah but we all go sometime".

    I've highlighted the most relevant part of your post.

    You have to recognise and respect that not everyone views it the same way you do! And it's not necessarily disrespectful or insensitive to hold an opposing view.

    We do "all go sometime". So why is it insensitive to recognise this fact, and express an opinion on a thread about different ways to view life and death?

    Just because someone has a terminal illness, doesn't mean we all have to hold the same opinion on life/death... just so someone doesn't get offended. That's no way to have a mature discussion on something.

    Some people don't see death as that big of a deal... it's an inevitable part of life, and in fact it could be something to look forward to and celebrate depending on your mindset. So yes, "life is terminal" "life is short"..... life is all sorts of things to different people. All of these opinions are valid, and should be respected...

    Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how they should view life/death... or even terminal illness. It's YOUR choice how you view these things. It's an individual choice.

    Telling people to "go ****e" or "fcuk off" just for holding the opposite view to their own, is very uncivilized and frankly obnoxious behaviour.

    I have not seen a single post on this thread, where anybody deliberately attempted to offend anyone else with their remarks... just people expressing their own viewpoints in the issue, which obviously are all going to differ from person to person. (I wasn't referring to you Errashareesh with these comments - just the other poster who made those remarks)


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    #86
    Gretas Gonna Get Ya!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,245 ✭✭✭Gretas Gonna Get Ya!


    Candie wrote: »
    Nobody is telling you what to think or bullying you.

    It's not bullying if people ask you to reconsider acting like a malicious child to a terminally ill person.

    Who is acting malicious?

    I have not seen a single "malicious" post in this thread... just people giving differing opinions on the subject matter.

    Are you saying holding alternate views on life/death is somehow wrong or "malicious" in a thread aimed at discussing attitudes to impending death from terminal illness? Seems like a very odd attitude to take!? :confused:


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    #87
    Gruffalux
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Gruffalux


    Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »
    I've highlighted the most relevant part of your post.

    You have to recognise and respect that not everyone views it the same way you do! And it's not necessarily disrespectful or insensitive to hold an opposing view.

    We do "all go sometime". So why is it insensitive to recognise this fact, and express an opinion on a thread about different ways to view life and death?

    Just because someone has a terminal illness, doesn't mean we all have to hold the same opinion on life/death... just so someone doesn't get offended. That's no way to have a mature discussion on something.

    Some people don't see death as that big of a deal... it's an inevitable part of life, and in fact it could be something to look forward to and celebrate depending on your mindset. So yes, "life is terminal" "life is short"..... life is all sorts of things to different people. All of these opinions are valid, and should be respected...

    Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how they should view life/death... or even terminal illness. It's YOUR choice how you view these things. It's an individual choice.

    Telling people to "go ****e" or "fcuk off" just for holding the opposite view to their own, is very uncivilized and frankly obnoxious behaviour.

    I have not seen a single post on this thread, where anybody deliberately attempted to offend anyone else with their remarks... just people expressing their own viewpoints in the issue, which obviously are all going to differ from person to person. (I wasn't referring to you Errashareesh with these comments - just the other poster who made those remarks)


    Nobody wants to control what you think. It is the insistence that you can express the one about 'we all gotta go sometime' to someone actually facing death that is being discusssed. You can be the world's most lofty avadhoot and completely resigned to death and still be an arsehole if you actually insist on making your philosophical pronouncements to someone actually facing into death.
    Do you tell fat people they are fat? Do you tell unattractive people they are unattractive? Or do you keep your opinions appropriately to yourself rather than hurt another person?


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    #88
    Gretas Gonna Get Ya!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,245 ✭✭✭Gretas Gonna Get Ya!


    Gruffalux wrote: »
    Nobody wants to control what you think. It is the insistence that you can express the one about 'we all gotta go sometime' to someone actually facing death that is being discusssed. You can be the world's most lofty avadhoot and completely resigned to death and still be an arsehole if you actually insist on making your philosophical pronouncements to someone actually facing into death.
    Do you tell fat people they are fat? Do you tell unattractive people they are unattractive? Or do you keep your opinions appropriately to yourself rather than hurt another person?

    Why would I keep my opinions to myself, on a thread aimed at discussing different ways to view someone's impending death from a terminal illness?

    That doesn't make any sense... :confused:

    If people are offended by certain opinions on death, perhaps they shouldn't read threads such as this one? Rather than trying to bully people into not expressing their own views on the subject.


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    #89
    Gruffalux
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Gruffalux


    Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »
    Why would I keep my opinions to myself, on a thread aimed at discussing different ways to view someone's impending death from a terminal illness?

    That doesn't make any sense... :confused:

    If people are offended by certain opinions on death, perhaps they shouldn't read threads such as this one? Rather than trying to bully people into not expressing their own views on the subject.

    You literally said Life is a terminal illness to someone with a terminal illness in response to them asking strongly that people not say to them life is a terminal illness.

    You could have found any other way to enlighten the thread about your ideas.


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    #90
    Gretas Gonna Get Ya!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,245 ✭✭✭Gretas Gonna Get Ya!


    Gruffalux wrote: »
    You literally said Life is a terminal illness to someone with a terminal illness in response to them asking strongly that people not say to them life is a terminal illness.

    You could have found any other way to enlighten the thread about your ideas.

    Nope, all I did was agree with the other posters who had already expressed that opinion in the thread... as it is a perfectly valid viewpoint to hold in a thread discussing people's different views on death from a terminal illness.

    Like I said, there is always going to be people dying from terminal illnesses... all over the world somewhere. That doesn't mean you should be stopped from having such discussions, or expressing your opinions.

    There was nothing posted in this thread that was intended to offend anyone, from what I have seen... only people's differing opinions. People may be choosing to find certain viewpoints offensive, because they don't like those opinions... but that doesn't mean that those views are inherently offensive or indeed deliberately intended to offend anyone. They're just opposing views.


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    #91
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Errashareesh wrote: »
    It blows my mind that someone could be that insensitive to a young, terminally ill person. I'm rather amazed by some of the comments here.

    Like, to me, really valuing life is viewing a terminal illness as one of the worst things possible. Not "ah but we all go sometime".

    And saying life is a terminal illness is just vile.

    Hospital consultant to me, days out from my diagnosis: “Sure, we could all die tomorrow”. Yeah, doc, an unlikely event is exactly the same as seeing your future evaporate before your eyes. :rolleyes:


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