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Do you think if you told that you had a terminal disease that you try enjoy life?

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    #92
    .anon.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,094 ✭✭✭.anon.


    'Life is a terminal illness' is right up there with 'I'm here for a good time, not a long time'. It's like, so original, dude. Most of us will be here for an incomprehensibly long time. Some of us inevitably will turn out not to be that fortunate, but we've no solid reason to believe that death is not a long way off - so far into the future that it's not something that we think about regularly. At least we don't think about it beyond giving glib answers to threads like this. My glib answer is that I'd fill myself with all the hard drugs that I've been afraid to take so far (which is all the hard drugs). But I don't know what I'd do. Maybe I'd drive my car into a wall at high speed. Maybe I'd travel the world and strike a load of shit off the bucket list. Or maybe I'd be like one of those characters on EastEnders or Coronation Street, lashing out and insisting that those doctors don't know what they're talking about and I ain't 'avin' no treatment cause I ain't got cancer.

    My mother, when she found out that she had a terminal illness, was determined to enjoy life. Which she did. Right up until her final days, she was still meeting old friends for coffee, going out for dinner, random weekends away, having friends around for drinks, sneaking out of the hospice for a McDonald's, wringing whatever fun she could from what was left of her life. She crammed a lot of fun into her last year, but it was painfully obvious that she was absolutely devastated that time was ticking away and she would have gladly swapped the fun for another twenty or thirty mediocre years instead. She would've retired this year. That's something she was really looking forward to.


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    #93
    4Ad
    Registered Users Posts: 2,677 ✭✭✭4Ad


    .anon. wrote: »
    'Life is a terminal illness' is right up there with 'I'm here for a good time, not a long time'. It's like, so original, dude. Most of us will be here for an incomprehensibly long time. Some of us inevitably will turn out not to be that fortunate, but we've no solid reason to believe that death is not a long way off - so far into the future that it's not something that we think about regularly. At least we don't think about it beyond giving glib answers to threads like this. My glib answer is that I'd fill myself with all the hard drugs that I've been afraid to take so far (which is all the hard drugs). But I don't know what I'd do. Maybe I'd drive my car into a wall at high speed. Maybe I'd travel the world and strike a load of shit off the bucket list. Or maybe I'd be like one of those characters on EastEnders or Coronation Street, lashing out and insisting that those doctors don't know what they're talking about and I ain't 'avin' no treatment cause I ain't got cancer.

    My mother, when she found out that she had a terminal illness, was determined to enjoy life. Which she did. Right up until her final days, she was still meeting old friends for coffee, going out for dinner, random weekends away, having friends around for drinks, sneaking out of the hospice for a McDonald's, wringing whatever fun she could from what was left of her life. She crammed a lot of fun into her last year, but it was painfully obvious that she was absolutely devastated that time was ticking away and she would have gladly swapped the fun for another twenty or thirty mediocre years instead. She would've retired this year. That's something she was really looking forward to.

    Your Mother was great, I'd say she was a lovely person.
    I guess it wasn't easy for ye but such is life..


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    #94
    Gretas Gonna Get Ya!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,245 ✭✭✭Gretas Gonna Get Ya!


    .anon. wrote: »
    'Life is a terminal illness' is right up there with 'I'm here for a good time, not a long time'. It's like, so original, dude.

    Why does it matter how original the view is?

    It's a perspective that is just as valid as any other, and therefore worthy of the same respect.

    How is saying "I'd take every drug going" or "I'd tick everything off the bucket list" any more original of an outlook? It's a plain old vanilla reaction.

    Nobody's perspective or outlook on death should be considered more valid than anyone else's. No matter what you circumstances are, you have the right to view it your way. Without being bullied into conforming to someone else's way of thinking!


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    #95
    54and56
    Registered Users Posts: 7,646 ✭✭✭54and56


    It'll be interesting to see how individual TD's voted in the Dying with Dignity Bill last night.

    https://www.rte.ie/news/politics/2020/1007/1170121-dying-with-dignity/

    Don't suppose anyone can link to a list of who voted yes/no/abstained?

    I've googled it and checked https://www.oireachtas.ie/en/debates...ebateType=dail but can't see the list anywhere.


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    #96
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    I would desperately love assisted suicide to be legalised. Ironically, it would give me life. To know that I have a dose there if the pain gets too much would be such a comfort. But I'm not going to get my hopes up.


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    #97
    Errashareesh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 572 ✭✭✭Errashareesh


    Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »
    Nobody's perspective or outlook on death should be considered more valid than anyone else's.
    I think it should - not all views are valid/informed. Nobody who is alive and well and far from old has a clue what they'd feel or do if they were suddenly hit with the news that they are going to die early in life.

    People who have a terminal illness are also very justified in being critical of "we're all gonna die". It is grossly insensitive. Someone dying at 40 (with years of physical and emotional pain before that) and someone dying of old age... we're talking two different universes. Someone who's in their 30s and terminally ill being told by someone who isn't dying, that they're being triggered... I cannot believe how lacking in empathy that is.

    Comparing the mind of a healthy young or middle aged person to that of someone who is dying... is not making a valid comparison. The healthy person doesn't have an inkling.

    I do understand people saying you should seize the day no matter what - and I agree. But having all your time left (that you know of) means you can take it for granted at times too (that's part of the journey). Terminally ill people don't have that luxury. The fact we are all gonna die does not make "life is a terminal illness" an appropriate or accurate thing to say (it's a symbolic saying I know, but even symbolic sayings have a grain of truth to them). Life in and of itself does not mean the horror that has to be gone through when diagnosed with a terminal illness. Very few people have to go through that.


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    #98
    Errashareesh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 572 ✭✭✭Errashareesh


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    Hospital consultant to me, days out from my diagnosis: “Sure, we could all die tomorrow”. Yeah, doc, an unlikely event is exactly the same as seeing your future evaporate before your eyes. :rolleyes:
    No we couldn't all die tomorrow. Such vapidness. Medical consultants aren't noted for their communications skills though.


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    #99
    mariaalice
    Registered Users Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    I have heard a doctor talking about how patients who are diagnosed with a terminal illness gave up antidepressants because they wanted to be fully present in their own lives and fully present to their children.


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    #100
    54and56
    Registered Users Posts: 7,646 ✭✭✭54and56


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    I would desperately love assisted suicide to be legalised. Ironically, it would give me life. To know that I have a dose there if the pain gets too much would be such a comfort. But I'm not going to get my hopes up.

    Why not? Last nights vote is serious progress.

    Get your hopes up. Talk about it with your friends and family. Advocate. Use your voice to influence change.

    If enough of us do a little bit, change will happen.

    One little step at a time.

    It's not like significant social change isn't a well trodden path over the last 25 years :D


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    #101
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    If I was going to check out soon I'd like to borrow as much money as I possibly could from the nastiest loan-sharks around and give it all to charity. :)


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    #102
    Lollipops23
    Registered Users Posts: 5,420 ✭✭✭Lollipops23


    I'm delighted at the Bill being passed.

    I have relapsing remitting MS. I am lucky that I am perfectly well 90% of the time.

    However, being confronted with your own mortality at 28 does funny things to you- I'd been in a dark and pretty self destructive place for most of my 20s and a switch flipped in my head when I was diagnosed. Stuff kind of snapped into focus. I stopped arsing about and making silly decisions- I chose to live better.

    I am happier now (in my 30s) than I ever was before. More fulfilled and content.

    However, I have let my nearest and dearest know that, should I progress and lose certain abilities (namely speak and swallow) I have very little interest in sticking around. I like participating in life, not being a bystander.


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    #103
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Lollipops23 wrote: »
    I'm delighted at the Bill being passed.

    I have relapsing remitting MS. I am lucky that I am perfectly well 90% of the time.

    However, being confronted with your own mortality at 28 does funny things to you- I'd been in a dark and pretty self destructive place for most of my 20s and a switch flipped in my head when I was diagnosed. Stuff kind of snapped into focus. I stopped arsing about and making silly decisions- I chose to live better.

    I am happier now (in my 30s) than I ever was before. More fulfilled and content.

    However, I have let my nearest and dearest know that, should I progress and lose certain abilities (namely speak and swallow) I have very little interest in sticking around. I like participating in life, not being a bystander.

    How did your loved ones react, do you mind me asking? No pressure to answer!


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    #104
    Mr Meanor
    Registered Users Posts: 197 ✭✭Mr Meanor


    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »
    I would desperately love assisted suicide to be legalised. Ironically, it would give me life. To know that I have a dose there if the pain gets too much would be such a comfort. But I'm not going to get my hopes up.

    While I emphasise my worry would be a future were it may be seen as a kindness to take the decision out of your hands.


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    #105
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Mr Meanor wrote: »
    While I emphasise my worry would be a future were it may be seen as a kindness to take the decision out of your hands.

    That’s why you have to physically be able to administer the dose to yourself in most places where it’s legal. I think it has to be filmed too as a legal requirement. In Switzerland anyway.


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    #106
    54and56
    Registered Users Posts: 7,646 ✭✭✭54and56


    54and56 wrote: »
    It'll be interesting to see how individual TD's voted in the Dying with Dignity Bill last night.

    https://www.rte.ie/news/politics/2020/1007/1170121-dying-with-dignity/

    Don't suppose anyone can link to a list of who voted yes/no/abstained?

    I've googled it and checked https://www.oireachtas.ie/en/debates...ebateType=dail but can't see the list anywhere.

    And the answer is https://www.oireachtas.ie/en/debates/vote/dail/33/2020-10-07/81/


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    #107
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: »
    Everyone has the right to view their life and death how they see fit.

    There is an arrogant supposition being made by some here, that one cannot have the same understanding of death or the true value of life... unless you have been given a diagnosis of a terminal disease.

    This is quite frankly, bullsh!t...

    You have no idea what other people have gone through in their lives. Many people will endure things that are in some cases much more challenging than facing an early exit from this life. There is such a thing as a living hell for some people. A nightmare they wake up to everyday, rather than going to sleep to experience!

    There should be more respect given to everyone's personal experiences in this life... instead of certain people trying to elevate their particular circumstances to a point where they are somehow more qualified to give their opinion. This is an arrogant stance to take!

    But those who are facing certain imminent death are wiser about the reality of it than those who have an unspecified longer life span. They really are.

    Certainly not are arrogant or any of the needlessly crude expletives you use. And no question of " elevation" . Just sharing and supporting .

    And you are taking the thread way off kilter. Of course many face other challenges. No one has said else. Why so angry? Read the title!

    Oh this anger is because we object to " life is a terminal disease"? Because it is not. Terminal illness IS a terminal disease. Nothing else is.

    I am deeply grateful for the sharing here of so many who are facing the hardest of realities. It is an experience like no other. It has helped me in my own struggles with increasing age and illness. It is a unique experience and one we get little help with anywhere. needing different qualities and tactics than other major life issues.

    Many many thinks those who have shared.


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    #108
    monkeysnapper
    Registered Users Posts: 2,575 ✭✭✭monkeysnapper


    I'm having a great life with no terminal disease..... christ if I did get one I could quite possibly explode with happiness and nobody wants that ....


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