Carers allowance turned down

Shelle1234. · 26-09-2019 2:41pm #1

Hi, I was wondering if anyone can help please, my husband applied to be my carer. We got a letter in the post this morning letting us know it had been turned down on medical grounds, while I need help with some things I don't need constant help. Basically i suffer from sever refractory depression and generalised anxiety disorder. I've been on disability many years but over the years the condition has gotten worse and worse. My husband has been out of work for a year now looking after me and our two kids but we only applied for carers in May as I suppose we never thought things wouldn't get better...but they arent. The problem is that when my husband is around I don't cope very well to the point that while he was working I've had numerous suicide attempts. He does the majority of what is needed in the house but I feel the problem is because I can wash myself l, make a sandwich etc if I feel like it I'm not seen as a person in need but what about the part of the part of the requirement that states "or continual supervision in order to avoid being a danger to themselves"?? Does this not cover exactly what I'm talking about ?? If you think it does do you have any input into how I word the review I'm looking for based on this. I had originally provided gp reports and all information requested but had been honest and said that depression isn't always physical (although can cause many physical barriers, ie won't go out without my hudband. Can't take kids to school, interaction with parents and teachers etc. Don't always feel up to cooking, washing, cleaning, shopping etc) and I wonder if this is the problem.

Gosh basically I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how best to word and present the review given my condition ?? Would a letter from me explaining my needs helpt at all do you think ?? I realise I've given a fair bit of personal info but feel there is little point asking what I'm asking without a bit of background. I'm genuinely in such a state over this, haven't stopped crying all day and you can imagine where my head is at. Without the carers allowance we simply can't afford to live and I'm terrified my husband will need to go back to work. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I would be dead within six months. I just couldn't cope.

Many thanks in advance and please try not to be judgmental with me. Xx

cassid · 31-10-2019 1:14am

Heya,

They may ask what treatment have you tried, have you tried counselling, have you tried medication, have you tried mindfulness. Who or what organisations are helping you with your suicidal thoughts ? I think they want to see that you are trying to help yourself but for now you just need that bit more support.

Do you get invalidity pension ?

Can you look at what your life was life before anxiety or depression was like ? and compare it to its current status. Get your partner to write a report describing a normal week or day and go into details as to why he has to stay off work for now. The more information you provide the better. Unfortunately, anxiety is seen a normal affliction as is depression, but you have to explain why yours is stopping you leading a normal life (whatever that is ), unless you give more background, they won't be aware.

For your sake, seek out help, try everything under the sun to make you feel better . It's not always about full recovery but learning to lead a semi normal life.

Don't fret about no money. If you have a mortgage ask for a moratorium, ask the welfare officer for urgent items, ask St. Vincents de Paul. Your well being is much more important than money, am saying this after a chronic illnesses used up all our savings and we need St vincents to help buy food. Your children need you and so does your partner.

Beaumont hospital have this really good mindfulness section that anybody can access and try it. Try link up with people who face the same issues as you. It can be lonely, and peep support I think makes a huge difference.

Add more important to your appeal

Shelle1234. · 21-11-2019 9:29pm

Hiya. I'm only seeing your reply now but wanted to thank you for such a kind, caring and helpful reply. A review was requested and we can only wait and see what the outcome of that is. I've tried everything available to me out there (apart from ECT treatment, which has been suggested but I'm very reluctant to try) and I've been given lots of help, I dont want to blame the system by any means because the help has been there and my condition is refractory (treatment resistant) but I think when it comes to carers part of the problem is that in the 12 years I've been attending the psychiatrist I dont think I've ever seen the same person more than once, they just dont ever get to know you and it means reports and documents that could help are nothing more than a series of first interviews and I didn't want their input in the application. When I then contacted them the locum psychiatrist let his secretary write "afew words" on a piece of paper for me as my report. We only talked the week before about how serious my condition is and helplines for suicide were given yet nothing of that is even on the "few words"....in any case you dont need to know all of that. I just wanted to reply and explain that I have tried lots of help and am.trying to get better. Maybe some day it will come but for now I'm fighting to get the help I need and that happens to be my husband there to help keep me safe. Thank you again for taking time to reply. Many thanks

Carers allowance turned down

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