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    #32
    elefant
    Registered Users Posts: 4,647 ✭✭✭elefant


    bruschi wrote: »
    this thread highlights why a lot of volunteer coaches give up coaching and dont want to bother anymore. A child who is U7 should play in his age group. He has another 2 years after this year to play U9, he has plenty of time on his side for playing sport. If another kid is playing up a level, so what? Why the rush to push him up a level that he might not be able for just because you see another kid at it? Let him develop at his own pace. Its under 7s and this is the prevailing attitude now? Be some craic in a few years time.

    This thread is grim reading, and its symptomatic of so much that goes with working with/teaching/coaching kids now.

    Have parents always been such hard work?


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    #33
    happywithlife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,324 ✭✭✭happywithlife


    elefant wrote: »
    This thread is grim reading, and its symptomatic of so much that goes with working with/teaching/coaching kids now.

    Have parents always been such hard work?

    no they haven't I think anyway. Now there's always been that one mouthy parent for sure but this type of rescue helicopter parenting is growing.
    It's no wonder our young people have no resilience and coping skills. I see in other forums too. Littlle johnny didn't get an invite to a party etc etc. It's teacher's fault he failed the exam - never mind he didn't open a book.
    I pulled my husband over the summer for promising one of our's they'd get x y and z while the other was doing a camp. That same child was doing their own camp in a couple of weeks and it'd be vice versa ....they do not need to consoled because they aren't getting instant gratification / parity. Neither one was getting more than the other - just at different times.


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    #34
    PARlance
    Registered Users Posts: 21,093 ✭✭✭✭PARlance


    elefant wrote: »
    This thread is grim reading, and its symptomatic of so much that goes with working with/teaching/coaching kids now.

    Have parents always been such hard work?

    Short answer, yes. Remember my own father training underage and regularly had parents calling in to see why Johnny wasn't playing etc.

    Clubs could do more to explain things to parents I feel. Be up front about things rather than trying to hide behind rules they don't follow. People aren't stupid.

    I think it was reasonable for thr OP to question things in this case. It's understandable that parents are going to be very sensitive about their kids, particularly parents that wouldn't have grown up with competitive sports. My own missus is new to all this and she's on a steep learning curve... from myself :)

    She wanted to give (our daughters) training a miss a few weeks back. No real reason, wanted to bring her over to a friends. Had to tell her once they're in, they're in.

    Clubs / trainers / people who grew up in that environment should always be aware that it could be completely new to some parents.

    But ya, parents can be a nightmare and always have been.

    Edit: agree with happywithlife, probably a lot worse now in fairness. But it always existed.


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    #35
    elefant
    Registered Users Posts: 4,647 ✭✭✭elefant


    PARlance wrote: »

    She wanted to give (our daughters) training a miss a few weeks back. No real reason, wanted to bring her over to a friends. Had to tell her once they're in, they're in.

    Clubs / trainers / people who grew up in that environment should always be aware that it could be completely new to some parents.

    But ya, parents can be a nightmare and always have been.

    Very good point actually; hadn't really considered that before, but can see how it could contribute to someone feeling slighted.


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    #36
    Paulzx
    Registered Users Posts: 1,967 ✭✭✭Paulzx


    My personal feelings on this are that generally kids are best put playing in their correct age group as soon as possible. I coach and have kids playing so have experience with it.

    I think it's much easier for kids to be kept back with their correct age group at a young age than leaving it be for years and then forcing them back after 4 or 5 years training with the same group.

    If a kid is playing a year up there can possibly be a 24 month age difference between them and other kids playing at that age. As a percentage of their age and development this can be massive.

    I understand that in many clubs where numbers are short it is often a necessity to join age groups together but i don't see the advantage of this when player numbers are good.


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    #37
    Bridget1996
    Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭Bridget1996


    bruschi wrote: »
    this thread highlights why a lot of volunteer coaches give up coaching and dont want to bother anymore. A child who is U7 should play in his age group. He has another 2 years after this year to play U9, he has plenty of time on his side for playing sport. If another kid is playing up a level, so what? Why the rush to push him up a level that he might not be able for just because you see another kid at it? Let him develop at his own pace. Its under 7s and this is the prevailing attitude now? Be some craic in a few years time.

    It can also highlight why kids drop out of sports too, I have no problem with him playing at the u7, it’s the fact that others let on and we are given a crap excuse, if It had of been look we think your kid can benefit from playing with his own age group instead of going up, I could take that a lot more than not being straight, as a parent the trust level in coach dwindles very lively,


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    #38
    Bridget1996
    Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭Bridget1996


    rpurfield wrote: »
    Our club does a group for every year at the lower ages due to numbers. My eldest lad is born in October 08, his best mates were all born in 09. They're in school together and always with each other so I personally think it's a good thing that he's with a slightly different group for football, it expands his peer group. Some lads will play up a grade in our club too if numbers need to be evened out with the club they're playing, but as said above their own grade get priority. I think you need to calm down and just get him playing, having them out running about at the minute is the main thing, not having them stuck in on their Xbox or whatever.

    Ah no I have calmed down, and totally agree with you, better to be out running around


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    #39
    Bridget1996
    Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭Bridget1996


    elefant wrote: »
    This thread is grim reading, and its symptomatic of so much that goes with working with/teaching/coaching kids now.

    Have parents always been such hard work?

    Look Im not someone that ever complains, but maybe if I was at the pitch shouting and roaring this would not have been let happen, and maybe if they were straight up with parents I would not have a problem with it, we know all the kids on the pitch, know there ages, and I think people do forget that we are watching all that goes on too, and when we see injustices being done to our kids, we should have the right to question it as there parents and to be answered truthfully


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    #40
    bruschi
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 4,138 Mod ✭✭✭✭bruschi


    Bridget1996 wrote: »
    but maybe if I was at the pitch shouting and roaring this would not have been let happen

    Well at least you know how to handle it the next time.


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    #41
    Pigeon Chaser
    Registered Users Posts: 248 ✭✭Pigeon Chaser


    Jesus, this is tragic reading...


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    #42
    threeball
    Registered Users Posts: 7,924 ✭✭✭threeball


    Bridget1996 wrote: »
    It can also highlight why kids drop out of sports too, I have no problem with him playing at the u7, it’s the fact that others let on and we are given a crap excuse, if It had of been look we think your kid can benefit from playing with his own age group instead of going up, I could take that a lot more than not being straight, as a parent the trust level in coach dwindles very lively,

    That's a hard one to gauge as some parents would interpret that as the coach saying your kid is crap so we're keeping him back. That's when the fireworks start. Maybe it was just easier to go with the age thing.
    Put yourself in the coaches shoes. You initially go there to help kids learn something you love and instead you become a babysitter (half the parents feck off), mediator (There's always two kids that want to kill one another), counsellor (There's always one or two uber sensitive) and a politician (trying to keep the parents who do stay to watch happy with all their various opinions).

    Sometimes you just feel like heading over, handing them the ball and saying, here you do it. They'd run a mile.


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    #43
    Bonniedog
    Registered Users Posts: 6,665 ✭✭✭Bonniedog


    I had opposite problem with under 12s and 14s. None of the parents ever came to games even though the 14s won a league and got to Feile semi final. Only occasional one was father who was separated and used to turn up on Saturdays he had his young fella. In fairness he helped put up nets and sideline flags.

    Hard to know which is worse; those who think the club is a babysitting service or those who think they should be picking the team.


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    #44
    happywithlife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,324 ✭✭✭happywithlife


    Bonniedog wrote: »
    I had opposite problem with under 12s and 14s. None of the parents ever came to games even though the 14s won a league and got to Feile semi final. Only occasional one was father who was separated and used to turn up on Saturdays he had his young fella. In fairness he helped put up nets and sideline flags.

    Hard to know which is worse; those who think the club is a babysitting service or those who think they should be picking the team.


    ah jezz that's worse I think. my daughter won her first divisonal final last night -- nothing major but might as well have been the All Ireland such was the buzz. Great to hear the positive encoragement on the sideline and see all the support. Clubhouse was opened up.afterwards for them to celebrate which was a super nice touch. She was still buzzing this evening.


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    #45
    sallins13
    Registered Users Posts: 7 ✭sallins13


    Seriously Brigid1996 injustices done to your child. Get a grip he what 7, 8 years of gaa soccer rugby ahead of him. Why push it your child is playing with his peers of his age. His friends will end up back with him as they get older unless they are very good and might always play a year or two ahead cause that is whats best for that child


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    #46
    Bridget1996
    Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭Bridget1996


    sallins13 wrote: »
    Seriously Brigid1996 injustices done to your child. Get a grip he what 7, 8 years of gaa soccer rugby ahead of him. Why push it your child is playing with his peers of his age. His friends will end up back with him as they get older unless they are very good and might always play a year or two ahead cause that is whats best for that child[/quote

    You actually don’t seem to understand the point at all, it’s not about him playing with his friends, I don’t care if he plays with u7 or other group, I’m not going to bother explaining it all again as you obviously don’t understand, get s grip yourself before you go picking things out of context so you can have a rant at me, like seriously do some people have nothing better to do with their lives than come on here and make comments about things they obviously haven’t a clue bout 🙄

    This tread is done with I came on to have a rant and look for a different point of view about why is another child allowed do this, but My isn’t, I got different perspectives from different people and I’m going to approach it differently, but it is still an injustice that We get told that they are going by the rules for my son but clearly not applying them to everyone, that is an injustice!


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    #47
    rpurfield
    Registered Users Posts: 2,105 ✭✭✭rpurfield


    threeball wrote: »
    That's a hard one to gauge as some parents would interpret that as the coach saying your kid is crap so we're keeping him back. That's when the fireworks start. Maybe it was just easier to go with the age thing.
    Put yourself in the coaches shoes. You initially go there to help kids learn something you love and instead you become a babysitter (half the parents feck off), mediator (There's always two kids that want to kill one another), counsellor (There's always one or two uber sensitive) and a politician (trying to keep the parents who do stay to watch happy with all their various opinions).

    Sometimes you just feel like heading over, handing them the ball and saying, here you do it. They'd run a mile.

    Fair point, personally it's something I'm always mindful of having been around the GAA all my life, I'd try and give a dig out to the coaches where I can. I've seen it when I went through a stint of refereeing too, I'd rather have two Junior B teams intent on nothing but a row than an U12 game with a sideline full of parents!


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    #48
    aridion
    Registered Users Posts: 142 ✭✭aridion


    What.A.Game


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