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  • 28-08-2018 8:47pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    Thanks


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 19,797 ✭✭✭✭ PARlance
    Registered User


    It shouldn't happen, maybe they are not aware. When dealing with it, you should also bear in mind that this coach is a volunteer taking time out to train your kid and many others. They are also probably taking lots of time dealing with parents too.

    It's a chance for your son to make new friends. I was a year younger than my classmates and in the same situation. Not ideal but it'll do him no harm.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,167 ✭✭✭ doc_17
    Registered User


    Whatever the coach does is what you should accept. They are taking time out to coach your child. If you aren’t happy then perhaps get involved yourself and help out. That way you can more of an input into what happens.


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    PARlance wrote: »
    It shouldn't happen, maybe they are not aware. When dealing with it, you should also bear in mind that this coach is a volunteer taking time out to train your kid and many others. They are also probably taking lots of time dealing with parents too.

    It's a chance for your son to make new friends. I was a year younger than my classmates and in the same situation. Not ideal but it'll do him no harm.

    Ah they are aware that the other boy should be in the lower group, and I also am very aware that it is there time they are volunteering but it really hasn’t sent a great message to my son who now thinks that he isn’t good enough, I don’t think that is a msg that should be sent out, he doesn’t really mind playing with kids who are two years younger than him he was willing to just get on with it but it’s more the fact he knows this other boy should be in his group and has been let play in the u9 and he hasn’t


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    doc_17 wrote: »
    Whatever the coach does is what you should accept. They are taking time out to coach your child. If you aren’t happy then perhaps get involved yourself and help out. That way you can more of an input into what happens.

    So it’s okay to let one boy play in the older group and not the other, I will not accept that, these are kids in the same class, it’s not that I’m not happy with the coach it’s more the fact that they let this other boy into a group and won’t let my son, it’s very unfair, and to be quite honest I will take my sons out of that and make a formal complaint about it, it’s not on, not really what the GAA is meant to be about


  • Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭ WanderlustIre
    Registered User


    So it’s okay to let one boy play in the older group and not the other, I will not accept that, these are kids in the same class, it’s not that I’m not happy with the coach it’s more the fact that they let this other boy into a group and won’t let my son, it’s very unfair, and to be quite honest I will take my sons out of that and make a formal complaint about it, it’s not on, not really what the GAA is meant to be about

    Maybe your son is smaller, of a slower development ability wise could be 1 of many reasons. Dont let it get in on you.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    Maybe your son is smaller, of a slower development ability wise could be 1 of many reasons. Dont let it get in on you.

    So they say every kid have to play in the correct group for their age and then they don’t follow through, that is wrong and that shouldn’t happen at this age group whether they are better than each other


  • Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭ WanderlustIre
    Registered User


    So they say every kid have to play in the correct group for their age and then they don’t follow through, that is wrong and that shouldn’t happen at this age group whether they are better than each other

    I understand what your saying as i used to coach with an underage set up. But if a child is say slight and smaller build the age split is sometimes better as be develops eith kids his own size. If he is developing slower ability wise u dont wanna step him up and allow his confidence shattered cause you thought it was unfair. Speak to the manager ask him, straight out


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    Maybe your son is smaller, of a slower development ability wise could be 1 of many reasons. Dont let it get in on you.

    So they say every kid have to play in the correct group for their age and then they don’t follow through, that is wrong and that shouldn’t happen at this age group whether they are better than each other


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    I understand what your saying as i used to coach with an underage set up. But if a child is say slight and smaller build the age split is sometimes better as be develops eith kids his own size. If he is developing slower ability wise u dont wanna step him up and allow his confidence shattered cause you thought it was unfair. Speak to the manager ask him, straight out

    I have asked why my son can not be moved up or is there exceptions for other people and the coach said that if he wanted to move up he can it’s up to me, then he came back to me and said they have to play in there groups according to age due to insurance reasons and a txt will be sent out but I don’t think that will change anything, his confidence is shattered at what he saw at training he was the only one from his class that had to play with the babies and that other people can move up but he can’t, I’m not going mad because he can’t go into next group I’m going mad because another boy who shouldn’t be in next group is allowed to all whilst my son is looking going what the hell Is wrong with me


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭ wirelessdude01
    Registered User


    Pull him out so and be done with it as it is causing you so much anxiety. The coach has offered you a solution which you don't want to take.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,351 ✭✭✭ threeball
    Registered User


    So they say every kid have to play in the correct group for their age and then they don’t follow through, that is wrong and that shouldn’t happen at this age group whether they are better than each other

    You need to relax. I very much doubt there is a vendetta against your son. I coach and have sent players up a grade as they were too good to play with their peers. By staying where they were their own development was stunted and other kids didn't get a touch cos these kids were too good.
    They were good because they lived the game, practicising constantly whilst others didn't do a thing from one week to the next. You'd be better off spending your time out in the back garden developing his skills than worrying about whether he's up or down. His coaches generally know best where he belongs.
    We also have one kid who upgraded himself due to friends and he's lost. No where near good enough to play in the next grade and he's losing confidence but the hassle of getting him to move isn't worth it either. His father is a nightmare to deal with.


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    Pull him out so and be done with it as it is causing you so much anxiety. The coach has offered you a solution which you don't want to take.

    Sorry what solution am I been offered


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,569 ✭✭✭✭ ProudDUB
    Registered User


    I have asked why my son can not be moved up or is there exceptions for other people and the coach said that if he wanted to move up he can it’s up to me, then he came back to me and said they have to play in there groups according to age due to insurance reasons and a txt will be sent out but I don’t think that will change anything, his confidence is shattered at what he saw at training he was the only one from his class that had to play with the babies and that other people can move up but he can’t, I’m not going mad because he can’t go into next group I’m going mad because another boy who shouldn’t be in next group is allowed to all whilst my son is looking going what the hell Is wrong with me

    Am I missing something here, but have you actually asked the coach why the age rule is being applied to some kids & not others?

    If no, why not?

    If yes, what did he say?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,324 happywithlife
    Registered User


    i coach underage and wouldn't neccessarily know the birthdays of all my kids. on registration with the club the secretary sends us the group info per year group and coaches send out their text but it happens the odd time like you describe a boy moves up with his classmates. our club allows that but if the child MUST always give priority to their age level if there's a clash of matches. I've one lad who is a feb birthday who trains with the U10's with his friends but plays U8 matches as per his age (no U9)
    my own son is a january birthday & I held him back instead of going ahead with his classmates as I know his is slight in stature but more importantly would be out of his depth if he moved up. While he moaned for all of 5 mins at the start he now accepts it and is thriving at being the oldest & better skillled at U8. You mention "babies" and "shattered confidence" in your post. How much of the negativity is your son's and how much of it is your's? Being honest?
    Present this as the opportunity it is to shine at the lower age group because they are older and more skilled. A lot of intercounty players have a spring birthday The intercounty player at cúl camp for our club this summer actually spoke about this to one of the older groups and said looking back now how much it stood to him.


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    threeball wrote: »
    You need to relax. I very much doubt there is a vendetta against your son. I coach and have sent players up a grade as they were too good to play with their peers. By staying where they were their own development was stunted and other kids didn't get a touch cos these kids were too good.
    They were good because they lived the game, practicising constantly whilst others didn't do a thing from one week to the next. You'd be better off spending your time out in the back garden developing his skills than worrying about whether he's up or down. His coaches generally know best where he belongs.
    We also have one kid who upgraded himself due to friends and he's lost. No where near good enough to play in the next grade and he's losing confidence but the hassle of getting him to move isn't worth it either. His father is a nightmare to deal with.

    Well I would totally get that if they said well sorry but he can’t go up because he isn’t good enough, I’m going to have to go down to the pitch and ask why is that boy playing over there when he is that age and you told me that my son can not be moved because of age, I personally don’t care weather he stays or goes up but my point is why is that other boy allowed to if they set out the rules are they go by age they didn’t say it was by abilities, it’s bollox really
    It’s either let them all up if they want or go by the rules


  • Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭ WanderlustIre
    Registered User


    Well I would totally get that if they said well sorry but he can’t go up because he isn’t good enough, I’m going to have to go down to the pitch and ask why is that boy playing over there when he is that age and you told me that my son can not be moved because of age, I personally don’t care weather he stays or goes up but my point is why is that other boy allowed to if they set out the rules are they go by age they didn’t say it was by abilities, it’s bollox really
    It’s either let them all up if they want or go by the rules

    No your interferring with another child cause your unhappy about your own being left. Thats wrong


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,351 ✭✭✭ threeball
    Registered User


    Well I would totally get that if they said well sorry but he can’t go up because he isn’t good enough, I’m going to have to go down to the pitch and ask why is that boy playing over there when he is that age and you told me that my son can not be moved because of age, I personally don’t care weather he stays or goes up but my point is why is that other boy allowed to if they set out the rules are they go by age they didn’t say it was by abilities, it’s bollox really
    It’s either let them all up if they want or go by the rules

    You're being completely over protective. He's there to learn football and have fun. If you make it clear that all is fine then that's what he'll believe. You are doing the opposite. You're pissed off and you can be Damn sure he has picked up on that so is now pissed off too.
    2 weeks in and no one will remember. He'll have more friends and a wider social circle. There is no downside to this. It's up to you as the parent to create the environment for that.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,324 happywithlife
    Registered User


    Well I would totally get that if they said well sorry but he can’t go up because he isn’t good enough, I’m going to have to go down to the pitch and ask why is that boy playing over there when he is that age and you told me that my son can not be moved because of age, I personally don’t care weather he stays or goes up but my point is why is that other boy allowed to if they set out the rules are they go by age they didn’t say it was by abilities, it’s bollox really
    It’s either let them all up if they want or go by the rules

    be VERY careful of this approach. you never know what else is at play. we had issues one year with a parent giving out stink a player getting on at matches but not turning up for training. his mam was dying -- DYING!! - of cancer. it was a private family matter - they didn't want it known generally as wanted to kerp things as normal as possible for the kids.


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    i coach underage and wouldn't neccessarily know the birthdays of all my kids. on registration with the club the secretary sends us the group info per year group and coaches send out their text but it happens the odd time like you describe a boy moves up with his classmates. our club allows that but if the child MUST always give priority to their age level if there's a clash of matches. I've one lad who is a feb birthday who trains with the U10's with his friends but plays U8 matches as per his age (no U9)
    my own son is a january birthday & I held him back instead of going ahead with his classmates as I know his is slight in stature but more importantly would be out of his depth if he moved up. While he moaned for all of 5 mins at the start he now accepts it and is thriving at being the oldest & better skillled at U8. You mention "babies" and "shattered confidence" in your post. How much of the negativity is your son's and how much of it is your's? Being honest?
    Present this as the opportunity it is to shine at the lower age group because they are older and more skilled. A lot of intercounty players have a spring birthday The intercounty player at cúl camp for our club this summer actually spoke about this to one of the older groups and said looking back now how much it stood to him.

    But you should know there ages, what happens with insurance if you have a kid who is younger than what should be playing in the group and he gets injured badly is he insured

    I Really don’t mind him staying back but I have a problem when my son sees that other boy who is the same age/ month as him going on and he is told no it’s by age, why one rule for others, it’s not right and gives a very bad impression


    My son has come home and said this about the playing with the babies as he was talking to the boys from his class in the group ahead and one of them said that to him, as they play side by side on the pitch, it’s not me saying it to him, His confidence is shattered, kids aren’t stupid they have eyes and can read things better than most


    Please don’t get me wrong I’m really not pissed off that he cannot go up a group I’m annoyed over the way things were handled and my son looking at it all going what’s wrong with me, he has told me he didn’t want to go back training, I have encouraged him to give it a chance

    I’m all about fairness and this isn’t, this other boy moved up and no one said anything, I know for a fact it’s because he wants to be with his friends, why one rule for him


  • Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭ WanderlustIre
    Registered User


    But you should know there ages, what happens with insurance if you have a kid who is younger than what should be playing in the group and he gets injured badly is he insured

    I Really don’t mind him staying back but I have a problem when my son sees that other boy who is the same age/ month as him going on and he is told no it’s by age, why one rule for others, it’s not right and gives a very bad impression


    My son has come home and said this about the playing with the babies as he was talking to the boys from his class in the group ahead and one of them said that to him, as they play side by side on the pitch, it’s not me saying it to him, His confidence is shattered, kids aren’t stupid they have eyes and can read things better than most


    Please don’t get me wrong I’m really not pissed off that he cannot go up a group I’m annoyed over the way things were handled and my son looking at it all going what’s wrong with me, he has told me he didn’t want to go back training, I have encouraged him to give it a chance

    I’m all about fairness and this isn’t, this other boy moved up and no one said anything, I know for a fact it’s because he wants to be with his friends, why one rule for him

    Best thing for you and your son is to take him out of the club, the way your approaching your gonna be very unpopular.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    threeball wrote: »
    You're being completely over protective. He's there to learn football and have fun. If you make it clear that all is fine then that's what he'll believe. You are doing the opposite. You're pissed off and you can be Damn sure he has picked up on that so is now pissed off too.
    2 weeks in and no one will remember. He'll have more friends and a wider social circle. There is no downside to this. It's up to you as the parent to create the environment for that.

    You could be right, you just want the best for your kids, it’s hard seeing it what goes on, I do want him to learn


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    ProudDUB wrote: »
    Am I missing something here, but have you actually asked the coach why the age rule is being applied to some kids & not others?

    If no, why not?

    If yes, what did he say?

    NO I haven’t yet I have asked is there exceptions being made, and got told it’s up to me to put him up if I want then I got told they have to play by age, I don’t want to spoil it for the other kid but I don’t want my kid be left out


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    No your interferring with another child cause your unhappy about your own being left. Thats wrong

    No I’m not going to do that, it’s nothing to do with that kid, he is being let do it it’s not his fault he is getting away with it


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    Best thing for you and your son is to take him out of the club, the way your approaching your gonna be very unpopular.

    But it’s ok for their approach to be unpopular with me and a few others but I can’t be unpopular, I think if everyone just shut up to make other people’s lives easier it would be a sad world


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    be VERY careful of this approach. you never know what else is at play. we had issues one year with a parent giving out stink a player getting on at matches but not turning up for training. his mam was dying -- DYING!! - of cancer. it was a private family matter - they didn't want it known generally as wanted to kerp things as normal as possible for the kids.

    NO I won’t be doing that, I was been sarcastic, it’s none of my business about that kid


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,797 ✭✭✭✭ PARlance
    Registered User


    ....he doesn’t really mind playing with kids who are two years younger than him he was willing to just get on with it but it’s more the fact he knows this other boy should be in his group and has been let play in the u9 and he hasn’t

    He doesn't seem to mind, but you do.

    Your son is U7, it's unfortunate (but not a travesty) that he's a year younger than the boys in his class. The other kid may just be too good for U7. Yes, it's hypocritical for them to say that the rules are the rules and then promptly make an exception BUT the exception may be better for everyone. If that other kid is too good for U7 then it will hamper his development and that of the other U7's. They may be trying to avoid the harsh words of saying that other kid is more suited (better, bigger etc) to play U9 than your son.

    I would say, that you as a parent should be happy that he is being keep in his own age group tbh. He may be better off with 5,6,7 year olds than throwing him in with older lads.

    I do get that it may be a hard pill to swallow but he is playing in the correct age group and that is more than likely the best thing for him.


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭✭ Bridget1996
    Registered User


    PARlance wrote: »
    He doesn't seem to mind, but you do.

    Your son is U7, it's unfortunate (but not a travesty) that he's a year younger than the boys in his class. The other kid may just be too good for U7. Yes, it's hypocritical for them to say that the rules are the rules and then promptly make an exception BUT the exception may be better for everyone. If that other kid is too good for U7 then it will hamper his development and that of the other U7's. They may be trying to avoid the harsh words of saying that other kid is more suited (better, bigger etc) to play U9 than your son.

    I would say, that you as a parent should be happy that he is being keep in his own age group tbh. He may be better off with 5,6,7 year olds than throwing him in with older lads.

    I do get that it may be a hard pill to swallow but he is playing in the correct age group and that is more than likely the best thing for him.

    Ah I know and I have calmed down abit, well he didn’t want to go to training in the beginning, I told him to give it ago then he saw the other boy in the other group, he knows he should of been in his group as they have birthdays beside each other so how do I tell him, that boy is meant to be in the your group but he Is not, he is the only 7 year old in his group

    I suppose I’m all about fairness and people being straight and when this crap goes on I cannot understand it unfortunately, but thanks to all you lot for helping me see it from a different point of view


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,797 ✭✭✭✭ PARlance
    Registered User


    Ah I know and I have calmed down abit, well he didn’t want to go to training in the beginning, I told him to give it ago then he saw the other boy in the other group, he knows he should of been in his group as they have birthdays beside each other so how do I tell him, that boy is meant to be in the your group but he Is not, he is the only 7 year old in his group

    I suppose I’m all about fairness and people being straight and when this crap goes on I cannot understand it unfortunately, but thanks to all you lot for helping me see it from a different point of view

    Unfortunately sport can be cruel at times but it's also very important. This is were you earn your parenting stripes... if the other lad is bigger, tell your son to eat up his greens... if the other lad is better, encourage your son to get out and practice. There are plenty of stories of late developers making it later in life, some of them are even true :)

    Life will throw up knocks, encouragement is key.


  • Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 4,115 Mod ✭✭✭✭ bruschi
    Moderator


    this thread highlights why a lot of volunteer coaches give up coaching and dont want to bother anymore. A child who is U7 should play in his age group. He has another 2 years after this year to play U9, he has plenty of time on his side for playing sport. If another kid is playing up a level, so what? Why the rush to push him up a level that he might not be able for just because you see another kid at it? Let him develop at his own pace. Its under 7s and this is the prevailing attitude now? Be some craic in a few years time.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,966 ✭✭✭ rpurfield
    Registered User


    Our club does a group for every year at the lower ages due to numbers. My eldest lad is born in October 08, his best mates were all born in 09. They're in school together and always with each other so I personally think it's a good thing that he's with a slightly different group for football, it expands his peer group. Some lads will play up a grade in our club too if numbers need to be evened out with the club they're playing, but as said above their own grade get priority. I think you need to calm down and just get him playing, having them out running about at the minute is the main thing, not having them stuck in on their Xbox or whatever.


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