Still wearing ring

shaymc4892 · 05-04-2019 11:46pm #1

Just looking for some feed back. Very recently separated after nearly 30 years. In late 40’s and not actively looking for a new relationship. At least not yet. I’ve been out a few times and friends keep asking me why am I still wearing my wedding ring. I’m not really sure why, i’ve worn it for nearly 25 years and would feel very strange not wearing it and to be honest, I have a son in late twenties and don’t want him thinking that I’m out trying find someone new so soon. I know there will be a time when I might want female company again and will this be considered strange. This is all very new to me. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

s4uv3 · 06-04-2019 10:22am

The only advice I can give is to tell your friends to mind their own business

You do whatever makes you feel comfortable, when the time is right you'll take the ring off. It's a lot more than just a ring, there's history, emotions, memories, all tied up in it.
Pass no heed of what anybody else thinks, they have little to be worrying about.

Charles Ingles · 06-04-2019 10:24am

Hopefully you and the Mrs can work things out

hairyprincess · 06-04-2019 10:55am

It’ll take time to get used to being without it. Take it off when you feel you are ready. And enjoy your new found freedom!

QueenRizla · 06-04-2019 11:33am

shaymc4892 wrote: »

I know there will be a time when I might want female company again and will this be considered strange. This is all very new to me. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Firstly it’s your own business if you want to wear it or not. But yes it would be considered strange, I would not date you if you wearing a wedding ring, I would assume you were either lying about being separated or not over your wife.
I do think though by the time your ready to date you’ll be more than ready to take it off.

kelfy · 07-04-2019 5:46pm

I ended my engagement for various reasons a few months ago and I got myself a different ring to wear on that finger because I felt strange not wearing it and would get anxious I had lost it! I was engaged for about a year so I can only imagine the familiarity of it if you have worn it for years.
You could get a different band to represent something else for yourself if you like but equally just do what feels ok for you.

Best of luck!

ted1 · 07-04-2019 6:41pm

It’s part of you keep wearing it, but also keep a photo of the divorce papers so girls who are genuinely into you or who you genuinely like don’t think your out for abut in the sides

shaymc4892 · 08-04-2019 12:16am

Thanks for all the opinions. I don’t feel as weird about wearing it now. I’m not sure but I don’t think my wife or ex wife to be is wearing any of her rings. I’m grand with that, it’s just feels very weird for me without it. I know I’m probably being very silly but to me the ring was a lot more than just a ring. It was me for the last 28 years and I don’t feel comfortable taking it off yet. I’m probably cutting off my nose to spite my face with regards to meeting anyone new but to be honest I’m no where near that yet.
Thanks for all your opinions.

Emme · 15-04-2019 12:20pm

OP it's up to yourself if you want to wear your ring or not, perhaps deep down you aren't ready to move on yet which is ok. You are not actively looking for a new relationship.

If you do change your mind in the future bear in mind that most women who want a serious relationship would be put off by a man who is still wearing his wedding ring from a previous marriage.

shaymc4892 · 15-04-2019 9:17pm

Hi. Ya that might be the reason I’m still wearing it. To be honest I’d be frightened to death of starting a new relationship. I kind of have it in the back of my mind that once I take the ring off, that’s it then. I don’t understand this feeling though because I have no feelings for my wife ( ex wife ) anymore. I kind of feel maybe that even though I’m happy enough to not be a husband anymore , I’m not ready to not be a daddy anymore.
Thanks to everyone for their opinions.
Much appreciated.

Still wearing ring

Comments