Neighbour keeping footballs

ThumbTaxed · 08-05-2021 8:33am #1

Hi there

My neighbour has issues and will not give back my kids footballs if they go into her garden. Note that if they do it is usually because the kids mis control a ball, they don't take shots in that direction.

I rang the guards and they called and retrieved the balls a few weeks ago.

In the last 2 weeks she has kept another ball and frisbee. The Frisbee was a gift to my 7 year old from his nanny and when the 2 kids call to get the stuff back she won't answer the door.

She is not someone to speak with either. She is likely to shout and then claim I was rude. She is a strange person.

I don't want to bother the guards again so is there anything I can do. To me this is theft.

iwillhtfu · 08-05-2021 8:36am

If it keeps happening maybe you need to look at a higher fence.

08-05-2021 8:38am

Put up a higher fence or net and stop bothering your neighbour.

Darc19 · 08-05-2021 8:42am

How is it theft?

Please explain.

shtpEdthePlum · 08-05-2021 8:44am

I'd ignore someone who was constantly knocking at the door to retrieve their stupid stuff as well.

shtpEdthePlum · 08-05-2021 8:46am

Lol I just saw "to me this is theft"

It could be rape for all the guards would care because that's your unsubstantiated opinion which doesn't matter a jot in the eyes of the law.

If I plant something on someone they haven't stolen it. Same thing happening here.

Wow the more i think about it the more I'm glad I'm not that misfortunare neighbour, you are something else.

"Note that if they do it is usually because the kids mis control a ball..."
Implying that sometimes it's on purpose. Semantics i know, but like what if they are intentionally doing it? How annoying must that be for her?

Also you called the gardai over a football. You called the police to the residence beside you because your child is either a little bollocks or has dyspraxia.

Montage of Feck · 08-05-2021 8:51am

Throw a big bar of dairy milk over the fence.

qwerty13 · 08-05-2021 8:52am

Stop being so inconsiderate, and bothering your neighbour.

daheff · 08-05-2021 8:52am

If it's a regular occurance then I can see why the neighbour might be annoyed by it. But they should still give the stuff back.

Maybe you should go play football/frisbee on the local green area instead?

YellowLead · 08-05-2021 8:53am

I think if it happens a lot most people would be annoyed.
Perhaps your kids should go to a green if there is one if they are playing football or frisbee and are old enough to give it welly so it goes flying over a wall? I can’t imagine many people playing frisbee in a back garden (of a housing estate).

It is mean of her to keep stuff - she should just throw it over at the end of the day or the next day (not when the door is buzzed that’s just annoying).

But equally if your kids can’t keep the balls/frisbees from constantly going over the wall wouldn’t it be better to just suck it up and let them play on the green? Or a park? Or play with other toys that don’t require kicking or throwing.

Also - have you ever talked to her yourself about it before calling the guards, or the kids keep going over to ring the bell?

minikin · 08-05-2021 8:53am

Throw in a large dairy milk bar, seems to solve such neighbourly disputes.

Caranica · 08-05-2021 8:53am

Higher wall and/or net above the wall (be mindful that planning permission may be required) and then approach her yourself, prove that you're taken precautions to stop it happening again.

zerosugarbuzz · 08-05-2021 8:57am

shtpEdthePlum wrote: »

Lol I just saw "to me this is theft"

It could be rape for all the guards would care because that's your unsubstantiated opinion which doesn't matter a jot in the eyes of the law.

If I plant something on someone they haven't stolen it. Same thing happening here.

Wow the more i think about it the more I'm glad I'm not that misfortunare neighbour, you are something else.

"Note that if they do it is usually because the kids mis control a ball..."
Implying that sometimes it's on purpose. Semantics i know, but like what if they are intentionally doing it? How annoying must that be for her?

Also you called the gardai over a football. You called the police to the residence beside you because your child is either a little bollocks or has dyspraxia.

Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed... also no need for the disparaging remarks regarding dyspraxia, not classy.

OP, I am also on your neighbours side on this. You have no right to think she is in any way obligated to return what your children shouldn’t be throwing into her garden. Maybe when the cost of replacing the toys mounts up you will encourage your children to play more considerately. I’d say the guards turned up more to check you out than your neighbour.

shtpEdthePlum · 08-05-2021 8:58am

zerosugarbuzz wrote: »

Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed... also no need for the disparaging remarks regarding dyspraxia, not classy.

it was far from classy I was raised.

Also i have dyspraxia myself, i didn't mean it as an offensive comment. It just sounds like with the frequency of the occurrences either the children are doing it on purpose or their coordination is impaired and it might be worth getting it checked out. Or, as other posters suggest, going to the local green instead.

YellowLead wrote: »

It is mean of her to keep stuff - she should just throw it over at the end of the day or the next day (not when the door is buzzed that’s just annoying).

I find it hard to imagine her sneaking around gathering up the items and putting them in her house.

Most likely she couldn't be bothered going looking for them or she's not outside at the moment because the weather has been crap.

Maybe she's not at home at least some of the times when they call.

Realistically she didn't sign up to be their ball boy. She is well within her rights to be less than vigilant about projectiles coming into her garden.

And from the hyperbolic legal side of things, if the OP feels that it's theft for the neighbour to "keep" the stuff, what if the neighbour claims the ball came in at speed and hit her in the head really hard?

The legal challenge from a similarly false and spurious claim could come back at her just as quickly as she throws it out there.

Xander10 · 08-05-2021 8:59am

ThumbTaxed wrote: »

Hi there

My neighbour has issues and will not give back my kids footballs if they go into her garden. Note that if they do it is usually because the kids mis control a ball, they don't take shots in that direction.

I rang the guards and they called and retrieved the balls a few weeks ago.

In the last 2 weeks she has kept another ball and frisbee. The Frisbee was a gift to my 7 year old from his nanny and when the 2 kids call to get the stuff back she won't answer the door.

She is not someone to speak with either. She is likely to shout and then claim I was rude. She is a strange person.

I don't want to bother the guards again so is there anything I can do. To me this is theft.

how often is this happening might be important.

once or twice a week? 6/7 times in a day?

Do you encourage your kids to be careful about kicking balls high and annoying neighbours?

Dtp1979 · 08-05-2021 9:00am

When I was a kid we had a neighbour who was tired of us kicking the ball into his garden. So then he decided to start throwing the ball back, in 2 halves. That soon coped is on from being little shjts. It’s amazing how much our aim improved after this happening a few times

The Royal Scam · 08-05-2021 9:03am

We had a neighbour like this , we lived in an estate. We would only ever put maybe 2 or 3 balls over a year and he would burst them and throw them back over so consider yourself lucky. He was such a pr1ck. We stopped knocking and used to climb into the garden and get the balls ourselves so he put glass and grease on top of his walls. Some people just live to be that kind of person. Easiest way is to get the kids to make sure they don't fire them over.

nazmoalex · 08-05-2021 9:05am

Dtp, was just about to post the same thing. Sharp knife going through the ball soon sorted that out. Seemed cruel at the time, but we we're using the lamppost outside her house a goal post.
Wonder in this case has the football or frisbe damaged anything in her garden.

08-05-2021 9:06am

The balls and frisbee are not all that are going into her garden. You say the kids are going in there to get them. Up to and including ringing her doorbell. Feck that for a game of cowboys. You had the kids, not her. Why should she have to have them regularly round her gaff. Get them a ping pong table for their ball play.

whisky_galore · 08-05-2021 9:09am

Just put up a high net or otherwise stop footballs going in.
Nothing so annoying as other peoples' children.

qwerty13 · 08-05-2021 9:10am

Suspecting this is a troll post, but why don’t you teach your children some manners?

Your opening comment is that your neighbour has issues. Yeah, she does, your bratty children.

headtheball14 · 08-05-2021 9:15am

Yes your neighbour certainly does have issues.

Have you considered that firing items into someone's garden then calling to the door looking for them back may be upsetting to someone during level 5 lockdown in a pandemic.

Regardless what the actual risk might be I know a number of people that would see this as threatening behaviour.

crackcrack30 · 08-05-2021 9:15am

Does she happen to have a cat ?... that sometimes wanders into your garden?

ehm.....

Seriously though ...Don't call the guards for things like this.. and be mindfull of the whole covid era.

Alf Veedersane · 08-05-2021 9:21am

There was an episode of Paddington where something similar happened and how they resolved it was by asking Mr Curry to play. He loved that and they all played a game.

Definitely an option to consider. Lots of life lessons in Paddington, if you leave out the copious amounts of marmalade.

listermint · 08-05-2021 9:26am

As I was raised to think it's nice to be nice, this neighbour obviously just a grumpy bollix. Kids are kids , kids will play and lose stuff. It cost them more effort being this mean than it does to throw something they find back over the wall every now and then.

I can guarantee what they are creating is an unrepairable relationship down the road. We had a similar neighbor on our road. Only when her husband died years later did she realise how much she needed her neighbours for support and you know what. They gave it to her.

. because it's nice to be nice .

shtpEdthePlum · 08-05-2021 9:35am

The person who set up the thread in legal issues about returning footballs is not the person I would be encouraging anyone to rely on.

Buddy Bubs · 08-05-2021 9:36am

Can't believe this was posted in legal discussion forum but anyway....this dispute is much more easily solved from your side that from the neighbours side. Other people's children knocking at your door is annoying. And they're probably worried about something hitting a window or breaking something else.

08-05-2021 9:36am

Calling the guards on your neighbour is being nice?

2 items in the 2 weeks since the other ballsss - plural - were retrieved by the guards called out to deal out the justice.

The neighbour is not the problem here.

Darc19 · 08-05-2021 9:36am

I suspect that the op has poor relationship with the neighbour.

And it may be due to the in op not respecting the neighbour in various other aspects.

A quick look at other posts about the extension and building fences and council planning warnings gives another side to the story.

Op, put yourself in the shoes of your neighbour and you might see where the problem is. Seems to me it's a lot closer than next door

gmisk · 08-05-2021 9:37am

I honestly can't believe you called the gardai about it..

Have you tried throwing over a bar of dairy milk as advised?

Balmed Out · 08-05-2021 9:40am

FFS kids will be kids and we were all kids once. My neighbours are amazing footballers and play several hours a day if they can. They dont mean it but at least a half dozen times the ball will go into my garden. I just lowered the last section of fence so once or twice a day when they dont hear me in the garden they will hop over and kick however many balls back into their own. Prefer this than playing in front and hitting the car or doing run away knock or something else anti social, spending their days playing football instead of pushing the boundaries of mischief im fairly certain in time i wont have some gurriers living nextdoor in a few years. .

If your going to be unneigourly you can chose any number of other things to piss you off and im sure you will find some and only benefit with a high blood pressure. If you're going to live somewhere with neighbours without very secluded gardens you need to realise balls, cats, drummers, bikers etc are a fact of life.

Shield · 08-05-2021 9:42am

Speaking of legal obligations, the neighbour has no legal obligation to be an on-call retriever. This is done out of goodwill. Should it ever get to court, a judge would likely ask what steps you have taken to ameliorate the situation.

listermint · 08-05-2021 9:43am

Balmed Out wrote: »

FFS kids will be kids and we were all kids once. My neighbours are amazing footballers and play several hours a day if they can. They dont mean it but at least a half dozen times the ball will go into my garden. I just lowered the last section of fence so once or twice a day when they dont hear me in the garden they will hop over and kick however many balls back into their own. Prefer this than playing in front and hitting the car or doing run away knock or something else anti social, spending their days playing football instead of pushing the boundaries of mischief im fairly certain in time i wont have some gurriers living nextdoor in a few years. .

If your going to be unneigourly you can chose any number of other things to piss you off and im sure you will find some and only benefit with a high blood pressure. If you're going to live somewhere with neighbours without very secluded gardens you need to realise balls, cats, drummers, bikers etc are a fact of life.

And this is it. Acting like everything in the world pisses you have all the time isn't healthy and it will only shorten your time in this world.

Kids toys coming into your garden shouldn't be as earth shattering to your day as you act. It means there's some other underlying problem causing this anger. Better to seek assistance on that.

ThumbTaxed · 08-05-2021 9:50am

shtpEdthePlum wrote: »

I'd ignore someone who was constantly knocking at the door to retrieve their stupid stuff as well.

4 footballs in 15 years.

Constantly?

ThumbTaxed · 08-05-2021 9:55am

Just to clarify.

4 balls and 1 frisbee has gone over in over 13 years. Just happens that they all happened in the last 6 months.

6 months and 4 balls and I am being inconsiderate? What the flip are you on about?

Also the guards were completely on my side and said her attitude was unrealistic for someone living in an estate. They said to call again next time and they would return no problem.

minikin · 08-05-2021 9:57am

ThumbTaxed wrote: »

4 footballs in 15 years.

Constantly?

Why involve the Gardaí if you’ve only lost four footballs???
Buy them another ball - they’re €1.50 in dealz ffs and leave your neighbour alone.

ThumbTaxed · 08-05-2021 9:57am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The balls and frisbee are not all that are going into her garden. You say the kids are going in there to get them. Up to and including ringing her doorbell. Feck that for a game of cowboys. You had the kids, not her. Why should she have to have them regularly round her gaff. Get them a ping pong table for their ball play.

Never said kids go in to get them.

Also they only called twice. Only called when 2 balls had gone over, each time could be a few weeks apart.

People sure can't read and jump to conclusions.

ThumbTaxed · 08-05-2021 9:59am

Darc19 wrote: »

I suspect that the op has poor relationship with the neighbour.

And it may be due to the in op not respecting the neighbour in various other aspects.

A quick look at other posts about the extension and building fences and council planning warnings gives another side to the story.

Op, put yourself in the shoes of your neighbour and you might see where the problem is. Seems to me it's a lot closer than next door

I see we have an expert here. Maybe it would help to know some facts first.

Mr.Crinklewood · 08-05-2021 9:59am

ThumbTaxed wrote: »

4 footballs in 15 years.

Constantly?

Are these the facts?

KaneToad · 08-05-2021 9:59am

ThumbTaxed wrote: »

Just to clarify.

4 balls and 1 frisbee has gone over in over 13 years. Just happens that they all happened in the last 6 months.

6 months and 4 balls and I am being inconsiderate? What the flip are you on about?

Also the guards were completely on my side and said her attitude was unrealistic for someone living in an estate. They said to call again next time and they would return no problem.

Liberal use of statistics there! Another might say 4 balls and 1 frisbee in the past 6 months.

The guards are telling you what you want to hear. But if you keep up this behaviour and it becomes a legal case - you won't be the winner.

Edit : I remember, as a kid, similar happening to me. Our balls were going into flowerbeds in neighbours gardens. We didn't understand what their problem was. Now I realise that many people put a lot of effort/money into their property/garden and even the low level damage of a football can be very annoying.

ThumbTaxed · 08-05-2021 10:01am

Does anyone have any actual legal advise on a legal question?

Mr.Crinklewood · 08-05-2021 10:01am

ThumbTaxed wrote: »

Does anyone have any actual legal advise on a legal question?

I've one about wasting Gardai time.

listermint · 08-05-2021 10:02am

KaneToad wrote: »

Liberal use of statistics there! Another might say 4 balls and 1 frisbee in the past 6 months.

The guards are telling you what you want to hear. But if you keep up this behaviour and it becomes a legal case - you won't be the winner.

I'd suggest a detached house in the country is more appropriate for some folks. As the guards said and reality is living in a housing estate your going to encounter people and ... Shock horror kids.

Life isn't all white walls and flat green lawns sometimes you have to interact with people.

listermint · 08-05-2021 10:03am

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

I've one about wasting Gardai time.

Well you can't actually steal other people's property , so there's that.

ThumbTaxed · 08-05-2021 10:03am

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

I've one about wasting Gardai time.

Yeah true. If a neighbour didn't see the fetish in keeping a kids ball that would save some time.

Mr.Crinklewood · 08-05-2021 10:04am

listermint wrote: »

Well you can't actually steal other people's property , so there's that.

Missed the part about stealing, just read the balls being kicked into another property.

zerosugarbuzz · 08-05-2021 10:05am

Balmed Out wrote: »

FFS kids will be kids and we were all kids once. My neighbours are amazing footballers and play several hours a day if they can. They dont mean it but at least a half dozen times the ball will go into my garden. I just lowered the last section of fence so once or twice a day when they dont hear me in the garden they will hop over and kick however many balls back into their own. Prefer this than playing in front and hitting the car or doing run away knock or something else anti social, spending their days playing football instead of pushing the boundaries of mischief im fairly certain in time i wont have some gurriers living nextdoor in a few years. .

If your going to be unneigourly you can chose any number of other things to piss you off and im sure you will find some and only benefit with a high blood pressure. If you're going to live somewhere with neighbours without very secluded gardens you need to realise balls, cats, drummers, bikers etc are a fact of life.

Disagree completely with you. I had kids who occasionally sent balls over walls, I told them to be more careful as they would be annoying the neighbours. I also had a front window broken by a stray ball so I’ve seen both sides of it. Some people want to sit in their back garden peacefully without having someone’s kids, regularly by the sounds of it, throwing things in. People can have expensive plants and ornaments in their garden that can get damaged by balls etc. Not everyone’s back garden is like a disheveled football pitch. OPs attitude is very inconsiderate and disrespectful IMO.

ThumbTaxed · 08-05-2021 10:05am

I used to think she was unreasonable.

Turns out, from the posts here, that the majority of people are actually also unreasonable! Next time my other neighbours little kid kicks in his ball I will keep that then.

Shame I didn't do it sooner; would have about 100 footballs by now.

listermint · 08-05-2021 10:07am

zerosugarbuzz wrote: »

Disagree completely with you. I had kids who occasionally sent balls over walls, I toddler them to be more careful as they would be annoying the neighbours. I also had a front window broken by a stray ball so I’ve seen both sides of it. Some people want to sit in their back garden peacefully without having someone’s kids, regularly by the sounds of it, throwing things in. People can have expensive plants and ornaments in their garden that can get damaged by balls etc. O everyone’s back garden is like a disheveled football pitch. OPs attitude is very inconsiderate and disrespectful IMO.

And the kids were probably being more careful the hundreds of days they play out there but accidents happen..that's life. If people were a tad more pragmatic about it their life would be more happy frankly.

ThumbTaxed · 08-05-2021 10:07am

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

Missed the part about stealing, just read the balls being kicked into another property.

"Theft and Related Offences. Theft. 4. —(1) Subject to section 5 , a person is guilty of theft if he or she dishonestly appropriates property without the consent of its owner and with the intention of depriving its owner of it."

Mr.Crinklewood · 08-05-2021 10:09am

ThumbTaxed wrote: »

I used to think she was unreasonable.

Turns out, from the posts here, that the majority of people are actually also unreasonable! Next time my other neighbours little kid kicks in his ball I will keep that then.

Shame I didn't do it sooner; would have about 100 footballs by now.

Then you'd have loads of balls!

A few genuine questions..

Has any damage been caused to the neighbours premises?

Are they elderly?

Do you have any sort of relationship with them?

Is there any "history"?

Are the really,really paranoid about Covid?

Neighbour keeping footballs

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