Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Flatmates partner

Options
1235»

Comments

  • Options
    #122
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    I'd love to know what the people who think 2 nights is excessive did when they met someone.


  • Options
    #123
    stop animal cruelty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,012 ✭✭✭stop animal cruelty


    Mod

    Thread can be closed


  • Options
    #124
    MacDanger
    Registered Users Posts: 2,388 ✭✭✭MacDanger


    Notwithstanding the OP request to close the thread - @OP have you actually spoken face to face to your house mate about this yet? This problem (and most others in life) won't be resolved if you're not willing to actually engage with the person.


  • Options
    #125
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    MacDanger wrote: »
    Notwithstanding the OP request to close the thread - @OP have you actually spoken face to face to your house mate about this yet? This problem (and most others in life) won't be resolved if you're not willing to actually engage with the person.

    Absolutely. You'll continue to meet people throughout your life who try to take liberties like this. Colleagues, neighbours, future housemates, service providers etc. No issue ever gets easier to fix if you leave it on the long finger. Texts, dropping hints, passive aggressiveness etc. don't work. The only way is to talk directly to them, politely but firmly. This would/should have been solved months ago. It would've saved you a lot of angst and made you look less weak.


  • Options
    #126
    stop animal cruelty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,012 ✭✭✭stop animal cruelty


    MacDanger, I said previously I will be saying to my housemate, I haven't met him in the house yet. I've read enough comments about whether or not 2 nights is too much or nothing at all.

    Some people think it is, others not.

    I find this my housemates partners loud voice and loud laugh annoying, so having that 2 days and 2 nights a week is a bit much for me. She wasn't the one chosen to rent here.

    For posters that haven't read the whole thread...... I don't have an issue with people staying over but when they are loud... There is an issue.

    I have spoken to the partner of my housemate re the noise after 11pm. Since I spoke to her I have yet to meet the housemate. We work different hours.

    I can see I have let the issue go on time long, I thought that by asking to keep the noise down and turning my music up, they might get the hint. I was wrong.

    As long as they keep their voices down after 11 at night, the main issue is I can get my sleep.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #127
    jr86
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,930 ✭✭✭jr86


    stop animal cruelty wrote: »
    I find this my housemates partners loud voice and loud laugh annoying, so having that 2 days and 2 nights a week is a bit much for me. She wasn't the one chosen to rent here.

    Yeah sometimes its not black and white

    I've been in a share where I've woke up the morning after and seen the housemate BF car parked outside somewhere - I'd no clue they were in the house at all the evening/night before. When I did see him in the evening though, we got on very well - I got on better with him than some of the housemates and much preferred his company

    In other cases partners have taken up the shower/kitchen and are up till late walking about the house. That's annoying AF and frankly 2 nights a week is 2 nights too much of that crap

    House sharing is just such a lottery overall in general. As I say you really do see all the bad habits in people first hand.

    I remember living with a female before who started seeing someone around the time she moved in. They came across as the most glamourous couple going on social media. Domestically she was an absolute disaster. Left the kitchen in a complete state for a week before she's tidy anything, never bothered cleaning floors, took up the bathroom for hours in the shower, broke glass after glass and plate after plate, left doors unlocked etc

    Lost touch with them but I recall thinking the poor fella was in for some shock when he actually moved in with her. there is not an iota of a chance I could sped the rest of my life with someone like that


  • Options
    #128
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Ursus Horribilis wrote: »
    I'd love to know what the people who think 2 nights is excessive did when they met someone.

    Not stay together more than one night a week regularly in either persons house, aside from housemates or rules etc I always saw hanging out of each other multiple nights per weeks as a bit over the top and saw no need for more than one or two nights per week. Doesn’t stop you meeting up in the evening for dinner, drinks a walk or what ever either.

    I was years going out with my now wife before we moved in together and very rarely did we spend more than one night per week in each other’s house.

    If every housemate in a 3/4 person share has a partner over 2 nights every week the house is full of people, chances of getting time alone in the kitchen/living room are far smaller and the place is just mad busy. I just don’t think it’s acceptable to be dragging extra people into the house multiple days every week (I’m not saying 2 or 3 nights a week on occasion is an issue just not regularly).

    I lived in 3 house shares and while they was never a rule (even an unspoken one) those with gfs rarely had someone over more than once a week bar one person I lived with (and it very much annoyed me and others as it impacted on our enjoyment of the house). I’m years gone from house sharing now thankfully so it’s no skin of my nose but my opinion is that 1 night a week is what should be the norm.


  • Options
    #129
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    Addison Scruffy Walkway wrote: »
    Not stay together more than one night a week regularly in either persons house, aside from housemates or rules etc I always saw hanging out of each other multiple nights per weeks as a bit over the top and saw no need for more than one or two nights per week. Doesn’t stop you meeting up in the evening for dinner, drinks a walk or what ever either.

    I was years going out with my now wife before we moved in together and very rarely did we spend more than one night per week in each other’s house.

    If every housemate in a 3/4 person share has a partner over 2 nights every week the house is full of people, chances of getting time alone in the kitchen/living room are far smaller and the place is just mad busy. I just don’t think it’s acceptable to be dragging extra people into the house multiple days every week (I’m not saying 2 or 3 nights a week on occasion is an issue just not regularly).

    I lived in 3 house shares and while they was never a rule (even an unspoken one) those with gfs rarely had someone over more than once a week bar one person I lived with (and it very much annoyed me and others as it impacted on our enjoyment of the house). I’m years gone from house sharing now thankfully so it’s no skin of my nose but my opinion is that 1 night a week is what should be the norm.

    That explains that then.

    People into their late twenties/ thirties are going to be renting house-shares for quite a while if they are still single or even otherwise.

    It stands to reason then that you would have a GF/partner over for a few nights.

    That's the reality of 2019 Ireland.


  • Options
    #130
    MacDanger
    Registered Users Posts: 2,388 ✭✭✭MacDanger


    I'd say in most cases, your tolerance of how often your house mates have their partner over is directly proportional to how much you get on with your house mate and/or their partner


  • Options
    #131
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    That explains that then.

    People into their late twenties/ thirties are going to be renting house-shares for quite a while if they are still single or even otherwise.

    It stands to reason then that you would have a GF/partner over for a few nights.

    That's the reality of 2019 Ireland.

    I was over 30 when I finished house sharing, I moved in with my wife not too long before we got married.

    I only stuck out housesharing as long as I did as I spent (and still spend) a lot of the time living at home too and lucked out in my last houseshare where I had the place to myself most of the time due to housemates never being around.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #132
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    Addison Scruffy Walkway wrote: »
    I was over 30 when I finished house sharing, I moved in with my wife not too long before we got married.

    I only stuck out housesharing as long as I did as I spent (and still spend) a lot of the time living at home too and lucked out in my last houseshare where I had the place to myself most of the time due to housemates never being around.

    I know some people have to do that but that's really not the norm for most folk.


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement