Flatmates partner

stop animal cruelty

Hi

New flat mate moved in just over a month ago. The last 4 weeks straight, they have had their partner stay 2 nights every week. I find this kinda cheeky as it seems a constant pattern,
her staying 2 nights free here a week.

Another problem is their room is above .e and I can hear almost everything. Some nights they have come in a 2.30am and I'm kept awake. My flatmates partner also seems loud like footsteps and has a loud laugh.

What are my options here? On nights they were making noise I texted to say keep the noise. Down, to which I got no response. I'm getting fairy pissed now, I pay rent and am entitled to relax and enjoy the place.

* Please no " Just move out" Replys. Its not helpful. Open to other suggestions.

amcalester

2 nights a week doesn’t seem unreasonable.

Church on Tuesday

Your flatmate is entitled to have their partner over for 3 nights in the week.

Your flatmate is paying rent too.

Have a word in person (not post it notes, texts or any of that nonsense) and ask them to be mindful of keeping the noise down after 12 which is a rule in househares.

Failing that, move out.

Dial Hard

Church on Tuesday wrote:

Your flatmate is entitled to have their partner over for 3 nights in the week.

Says who, exactly?

stop animal cruelty

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Your flatmate is entitled to have their partner over for 3 nights in the week.

Your flatmate is paying rent too.

Have a word in person (not post it notes, texts or any of that nonsense) and ask them to be mindful of keeping the noise down after 12 which is a rule in househares.

Failing that, move out.

Entitled to stay 3 nights a week? Rent free?? how is that an entitlement?

I won't be uping and moving out just like that. I and the other housemates are respectable of each other, and always has been that way. There has been times their partners, including mine have stayed over, but never for 2 nights every week.

ted1

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Your flatmate is entitled to have their partner over for 3 nights in the week.

Your flatmate is paying rent too.

Have a word in person (not post it notes, texts or any of that nonsense) and ask them to be mindful of keeping the noise down after 12 which is a rule in househares.

Failing that, move out.

No their night, 3 nights is to much

Church on Tuesday

ted1 wrote: »

No their night, 3 nights is to much

It's not.

As a general rule, a tenant is allowed to have a guest over for 3 nights.

I think it's on either Threshold or RTB site. Not sure.

I've been in househares where this was the case and there was no fuss, because nobody was doing anything wrong.

In this case the issue seems to be noise after 12 which is not acceptable.

So if it bothers you that much, and you won't have a word with the flatmate in person about it, then your only other option is to raise the issue with the landlord who more than likely will be of the opinion of whats the big deal or buy ear plugs.

Failing that, get in touch with the RTB

stop animal cruelty

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

ted1 wrote: »

No their night, 3 nights is to much

It's not.

As a general rule, a tenant is allowed to have a guest over for 3 nights.

I think it's on either Threshold or RTB site. Not sure.

I've been in househares where this was the case and there was no fuss, because nobody was doing anything wrong.

In this case the issue seems to be noise after 12 which is not acceptable.

So if it bothers you that much, and you won't have a word with the flatmate in person about it, then your only other option is to raise the issue with the landlord who more than likely will be of the opinion of whats the big deal or buy ear plugs.

Failing that, get in touch with the RTB

I never said I wouldn't have a word with them, as awkward as I imagine it would be, I would rather talk face to face with them about it. I just want to see what people would suggest to do or say.

Church on Tuesday

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

I never said I wouldn't have a word with them, as awkward as I imagine it would be, I would rather talk face to face with them about it. I just want to see what people would suggest to do or say.

I understand but it's the best approach, you don't want any passive aggressiveness in a house-share.

It's not fair of them to be making noise after 12, that's not on, so have a chat with them, and if that doesn't work have a word with the Landlord but they tend to be pretty hands off regarding this stuff.

If that fails get in touch with the RTB and see what advice they can give you.

If things get very bad with this flatmate you can go down the dispute route via the RTB but as you can imagine that would be a lot of hassle.

Big Bag of Chips

Moved to Accommodation and Property. Local forum charter applies.

ted1

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

It's not.

As a general rule, a tenant is allowed to have a guest over for 3 nights.

I think it's on either Threshold or RTB site. Not sure.

I've been in househares where this was the case and there was no fuss, because nobody was doing anything wrong.

In this case the issue seems to be noise after 12 which is not acceptable.

So if it bothers you that much, and you won't have a word with the flatmate in person about it, then your only other option is to raise the issue with the landlord who more than likely will be of the opinion of whats the big deal or buy ear plugs.

Failing that, get in touch with the RTB

42% is far to much to have a guest over especially on a weekly basis. At that stage they need to pay rent, bills etc.

Church on Tuesday

ted1 wrote: »

42% is far to much to have a guest over especially on a weekly basis. At that stage they need to pay rent, bills etc.

It be of the understanding that it's not week in, week out.

Amirani

I think 2 nights a week is pretty reasonable to be honest. If they're taking over the house while they're over, that's another matter. But if they're confined to the renter's room, then I wouldn't see that as a problem.

The causing noise at late hours is an issue, but it's essentially an issue irrespective of the partner staying over. You should mention this to them.

ted1

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

It be of the understanding that it's not week in, week out.

It was you that said 3 nights a week

Church on Tuesday

ted1 wrote: »

It was you that said 3 nights a week

Yeah I did, I also didn't say week in week out.

stop animal cruelty

The partner has stayed 2 nights every week, the last 4 weeks since my flatmate moved in.

Outcastangel

There's nothing else you can do to resolve the issue other than letting them know it's an issue.

If the other housemates have an issue get them to back you up but make sure not to gang up on the other housemate you're confronting. Just be frank and keep a cool head.

We have a rule in the house I live in with two others; if our partner is staying the night, we give a heads up, even if it's just an hour's notice. I think it's common courtesy that people know who is in the house they're living in.

LuckyLloyd

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

The partner has stayed 2 nights every week, the last 4 weeks since my flatmate moved in.

I'd say that's pretty normal, sorry.

Benny Biscotti

If theyre staying 2 nights and only new into the house it wont be long until it's 3 or 4 and then a shelf in the fridge. They are probably thinking well they haven't said anything so it must be OK.

ted1

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Yeah I did, I also didn't say week in week out.

3 times a week is 3 times a week. So yeah that’s exactly what you said.

Did you mean 3 times every 2 weeks ? Every month ?

Spanish Eyes

20 euro a night ( or whatever), to cover costs. See what they say.

No need for tenants to subsidise a non tenant. EVER.

Spanish Eyes

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

I'd say that's pretty normal, sorry.

So who is paying for the shower, the electricity and food prep and so on. Sorry. Just wondered who bears the extra cost here.

Amirani

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

So who is paying for the shower, the electricity and food prep and so on. Sorry. Just wondered who bears the extra cost here.

What exactly is the extra cost for food prep? Do you have any idea how much it costs to have a shower?

If someone's partner is utilising a lot of resources, then that's something that needs to be dealt with. That's never really been my experience of things though.

fritzelly

Three nights a week in shared accommodation is a bit ridiculous and obviously no regard for other tenants - private accommodation that's between them and the LL
When I was sharing it was only ever 1 or 2 nights a week at most and I was friendly with the girlfriend of the tenant - going out for a drink together etc.

Wabbit Ears

2 nights a week is perfectly normal and if OP raises it as an issue then he is the problem in the house, not the housemate and his GF.

If it goes to 3 its borderline and above that it's a problem but for now, No issue at all.

Graces7

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

2 nights a week is perfectly normal and if OP raises it as an issue then he is the problem in the house, not the housemate and his GF.

If it goes to 3 its borderline and above that it's a problem but for now, No issue at all.

Is it not the noise issues also?

Amirani

Graces7 wrote: »

Is it not the noise issues also?

Deal with that in the same way as you would whether the partner is visiting or not. If a housemate is making too much noise (alone or with company), then ask if they can try to be quieter.

willabur

I have been in this situation and it is horrible. Not much you can do unfortunately other than ask them to be more discreet. If you do in such a way that its not a confrontation then all the better.

Another solution (unlikely) is to swap rooms with them

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Hi

New flat mate moved in just over a month ago. The last 4 weeks straight, they have had their partner stay 2 nights every week. I find this kinda cheeky as it seems a constant pattern,
her staying 2 nights free here a week.

Another problem is their room is above .e and I can hear almost everything. Some nights they have come in a 2.30am and I'm kept awake. My flatmates partner also seems loud like footsteps and has a loud laugh.

What are my options here? On nights they were making noise I texted to say keep the noise. Down, to which I got no response. I'm getting fairy pissed now, I pay rent and am entitled to relax and enjoy the place.

* Please no " Just move out" Replys. Its not helpful. Open to other suggestions.

Cape Clear

Mod Note.

Do not post this crap again.

SozBbz

I think you're conflating two issues OP.

I don't think having a GF/BF over 2 nights per week is unreasonable. Does your roommate also spend time outside of the house when they're away with their partner at their place? I find these things balance out. I think for a couple to spend anywhere between 2-4 nights per week together is pretty normal if they don't live together. Obviously if its 4 nights, that should be split across two properties, and not all in one persons house.

What I would find difficult would be the following;

If they were always taking over the sitting room/other communal spaces
If it got beyond 2 nights per week, every week
If they the partner was there when your housemate is not
If they're eating things that don't belong to them
...genreally making themselves too at home

You've not indicated that any of the above is happening.

It seems to me the real issue is noise. Would you have such an issue is the partner was there an equal amount of time, but there was no noise disturbance?

LimeFruitGum

Does your flatmate stay at their partner’s place at all? I’d be inclined to leave it if they’re gone 1-2 nights a week themselves.

Re the noise, keep at telling them they’re being too loud. I take it you didn’t have noise issues with the previous person who had that room.