Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

inforfun · 12-10-2016 7:48am

Too bad that complete illiterate spunkfaced knobhead gets more out of this "budje" than me who works 40 hours a week.

Samaris · 12-10-2016 8:36am

Deleted User wrote: »

Jeez twould take a sophisticated translation system to filter through that mess. One battle google definitely wont win

Google Translate was able to identify it as English with Detect Language on, but that's about all it could do with it!

Samaris · 12-10-2016 8:44am

coolhull wrote: »

''Sum f**kin budje dat was. five uro an hav 2 waite til Marsh for dat. tawt fine fall was sposed 2 be on r side, wate till dey nock on my dor luckin 4 r voats''

Maths sexing budgerigar that was. Five bonsai techniques an Hepatitis A virus two [town in Maine] towards bog for that. Tension Fine Fall was supposed two be on letter side, WATE.com unsorted glacial sediment they hook on my Department of Revenue lucky for letter website.

Makes total sense! :P

razorblunt · 12-10-2016 8:47am

Carnacalla wrote: »

This one really got me when I read it. Who cares?

Edit: Image wont work, only link?

"Been to work now in dumbarton with lenny and Dylan has need new school shoes now their eating kfc then to asda get few bits then home Paul and zoe going to Scotland game later and Leon out shopping with his girlfriend"

Anytime one makes it back from Dumbarton alive is a cause for celebration.

Jrop · 12-10-2016 9:46am

Thanks for cheering me up. Came home last night to find a leak in the kitchen called out an emergency plumber to be told the leak is coming from the apartment upstairs. GRR

kunst nugget · 12-10-2016 9:49am

Jrop wrote: »

Thanks for cheering me up. Came home last night to find a leak in the kitchen called out an emergency plumber to be told the leak is coming from the apartment upstairs. GRR

That's a really shít facebook status. :mad: Up your game, son!

mackeire · 12-10-2016 11:33am

HI WE ARE (company name) WE TRY HELP GET RID OFF ALL YOUR OLD AND UNWANTED STUFF FOR FREE BUT WE DO CHARGE TO TAKE AWAY SOFAS AND BED AND MATTRESS, S SO IF YOUR THINKING OFF CLEARING OUT THE ATTIC OR GARAGE OR STUFF LAYING AROUND SURE GIVE US A MAIL TODAY WE ALSO PROVIDE DELIVERY,S FORM HOUSE TO HOUSE OR SHOP TO HOUSE IKEA RUNS AND ALOT MORE WE ALSO PROVIDE RUBBISH CLEAR OUTS ASWELL AS GARDENING HOUSEHOLD WORK AND A LOT MORE SO GIVE USE A MAIL TODAY TANKS

loyatemu · 12-10-2016 11:42am

coolhull wrote: »

''Sum f**kin budje dat was. five uro an hav 2 waite til Marsh for dat. tawt fine fall was sposed 2 be on r side, wate till dey nock on my dor luckin 4 r voats''

I'm sure he'll have found a job by March Marsh...

Boom_Bap · 12-10-2016 11:43am

mackeire wrote: »

HI WE ARE (company name) WE TRY HELP GET RID OFF ALL YOUR OLD AND UNWANTED STUFF FOR FREE BUT WE DO CHARGE TO TAKE AWAY SOFAS AND BED AND MATTRESS, S SO IF YOUR THINKING OFF CLEARING OUT THE ATTIC OR GARAGE OR STUFF LAYING AROUND SURE GIVE US A MAIL TODAY WE ALSO PROVIDE DELIVERY,S FORM HOUSE TO HOUSE OR SHOP TO HOUSE IKEA RUNS AND ALOT MORE WE ALSO PROVIDE RUBBISH CLEAR OUTS ASWELL AS GARDENING HOUSEHOLD WORK AND A LOT MORE SO GIVE USE A MAIL TODAY TANKS

why are they shouting

kunst nugget · 12-10-2016 11:45am

Boom_Bap wrote: »

why are they shouting

Because they're trying to be heard over the Tanks. They clarified it at the end.

Jrop · 12-10-2016 11:54am

Kunst Nugent
Telpis ! dere's a leek comin frum me neyboors flat an me kischen is ruint. Dere's watta drippin outta da sealing
an me batroom is in bitz . da ploomber hadta tak of da batpanell

kunst nugget · 12-10-2016 11:56am

Jrop wrote: »

Kunst Nugent
Telpis ! dere's a leek comin frum me neyboors flat an me kischen is ruint. Dere's watta drippin outta da sealing
an me batroom is in bitz . da ploomber hadta tak of da batpanell

Equilibrium and order has been restored to the world…

martyos121 · 12-10-2016 4:42pm

Jrop wrote: »

Kunst Nugent
Telpis ! dere's a leek comin frum me neyboors flat an me kischen is ruint. Dere's watta drippin outta da sealing
an me batroom is in bitz . da ploomber hadta tak of da batpanell

If you read it in a deep African accent, it's actually spot on phonetically. :pac:

I'm going to go out on a limb and say the person who posted it was Irish though...

Jrop · 12-10-2016 4:44pm

martyos121 I was trying to type the post in dublinese Facebook/Txt speak. Looks like I failed miserably.

inforfun · 12-10-2016 4:48pm

Jrop wrote: »

martyos121 I was trying to type the post in dublinese Facebook/Txt speak. Looks like I failed miserably.

But apparently there is a carreer for you as a 419 scammer

martyos121 · 12-10-2016 4:55pm

Jrop wrote: »

martyos121 I was trying to type the post in dublinese Facebook/Txt speak. Looks like I failed miserably.

ts ok hun xx.

coolhull · 12-10-2016 11:47pm

mackeire wrote: »

HI WE ARE (company name) WE TRY HELP GET RID OFF ALL YOUR OLD AND UNWANTED STUFF FOR FREE BUT WE DO CHARGE TO TAKE AWAY SOFAS AND BED AND MATTRESS, S SO IF YOUR THINKING OFF CLEARING OUT THE ATTIC OR GARAGE OR STUFF LAYING AROUND SURE GIVE US A MAIL TODAY WE ALSO PROVIDE DELIVERY,S FORM HOUSE TO HOUSE OR SHOP TO HOUSE IKEA RUNS AND ALOT MORE WE ALSO PROVIDE RUBBISH CLEAR OUTS ASWELL AS GARDENING HOUSEHOLD WORK AND A LOT MORE SO GIVE USE A MAIL TODAY TANKS

AND WE DON'T CHARGE EXTRA FOR OUR CAPITAL LETTERS

Joeseph Balls · 13-10-2016 12:32am

coolhull wrote: »

AND WE DON'T CHARGE EXTRA FOR OUR CAPITAL LETTERS

They forgot to mention they do tarmacadam too

PaddyWilliams · 13-10-2016 1:11am

Jrop wrote: »

Kunst Nugent
Telpis ! dere's a leek comin frum me neyboors flat an me kischen is ruint. Dere's watta drippin outta da sealing
an me batroom is in bitz . da ploomber hadta tak of da batpanell

They had to take off the batpanell? Bruce Wayne's going to be properly pissed off that someone found the secret entrance to the Bat Cave.

PaddyWilliams · 13-10-2016 1:13am

kunst nugget wrote: »

Because they're trying to be heard over the Tanks. They clarified it at the end.

Best laugh I've ever got from a post on here. Top marks boy!

ligerdub · 13-10-2016 1:18am

Testament1 wrote: »

Big fans of Final Fantasy 7 eh??

Ha! To go with siblings Barrett and Aeris.

ligerdub · 13-10-2016 1:39am

De Bhál wrote: »

From Linkedin (the new Facebook for many it seems)

'I was raised to treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO'

Type yes if you agree

3152 thumbs up and 793 replies

a few of the replies
The janitor deserves more respect He does the work that others would not want He gets paid a fraction of what he deserves He unlike the Ceo helps the world to be a better and cleaner world He has humbled himself to pick after the rest of us show less

YES, Of Course..... they both impact your everyday experience & their humanity must be respected.

NO! Treat janitors with more respect because they do more useful work for human beings than CEOs, in general.

I left Facebook several years ago, partly because if stuff like that. Now LinkedIn is arguably worse than Facebook ever was.

The worst one for me is the one where the HR staff member of some place cancels all her meetings for the rest of the day to spend the afternoon with some old person she befriended early in the day somewhere. That's the content of her status update along with photo of her with said person. Of course there was the plethora of likes and comments, almost unanimously positive. Nobody dare mention that some poor schmo might have been in the diary to interview with her over a job he was keen on getting and had to take time off work to attend, or the fact that there's apparently nothing wrong to take time off wildly nilly from your employer to have tea with a total stranger.

Chris Martin · 13-10-2016 6:55pm

^^^
I love the one lad in there throwing in a:
'F Janitors, CEO's RULE!'
Just to rile the masses!
And it works... every time... :P

sligojoek · 13-10-2016 6:57pm

A comment on the Fair City FB

I don't like that Owen any his a horror an Al the time complaining he never stops for when moved to Carraig town don't blame Debbie stick to guns girl what ever makes happy the other miserable ow

coolhull · 13-10-2016 10:43pm

^^
One of the scriptwriters?

mansize · 13-10-2016 11:17pm

http://m.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/two-families-clash-in-clare-over-facebook-comments-and-it-escalates-to-a-shooting-court-hears-35128905.html

De Bhál · 13-10-2016 11:28pm

mansize wrote: »

http://m.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/two-families-clash-in-clare-over-facebook-comments-and-it-escalates-to-a-shooting-court-hears-35128905.html

What a story that was to read. I gave up when a Mr. Y got involved. I assume Mr. T wasn't in the country.

Guy:Incognito · 13-10-2016 11:43pm

Pretty average stuff by the standards of the thread.

Facebook is interchangeable with Google with this person. 2 from today but its fairly regular.

"Can someone who has a gas card handy, give me number off the back please...."

"Deansrath midterm breaks for next year are wen please...?"

Jrop · 14-10-2016 8:59am

mansize wrote: »

http://m.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/two-families-clash-in-clare-over-facebook-comments-and-it-escalates-to-a-shooting-court-hears-35128905.html

WTF ! Hitting someone with a curtain pole. The whole story is bizarre

razorblunt · 14-10-2016 9:05am

Jrop wrote: »

WTF ! Hitting someone with a curtain pole. The whole story is bizarre

Scumbags. They'd want to pull themselves together.

coolhull · 14-10-2016 9:34am

Jrop wrote: »

WTF ! Hitting someone with a curtain pole. The whole story is bizarre

But sure we all carry a curtain pole around with us.
U nevair no wen u mite knead it.

Jrop · 14-10-2016 9:37am

coolhull yer ded rite

HS3 · 14-10-2016 10:40pm

'Never push a loyal person to the point they don't give a damn'

Get a dictionary, look up loyalty, coz what you described ain't it! You're just as conditional as everyone else so get off your high horse!

HS3 · 14-10-2016 10:40pm

'Never push a loyal person to the point they don't give a damn'

Get a dictionary, look up loyalty, coz what you described ain't it! You're just as conditional as everyone else so get off your high horse!

sligojoek · 15-10-2016 12:40pm

⚠⚠⚠⚠&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;⚠⚠⚠⚠&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;
ATTENTION!!!! Do not join the group currently on Facebook with the title "to be a father or mother was the greatest gift of my life". it is a group of pedophiles who are trying to access the photos. Please copy and paste! We keep the kids safe! (please... lose a minute to copy and paste..)
Copy and paste and not share &#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;&#55357;&#56865;

clairewithani · 15-10-2016 12:41pm

sligojoek wrote: »

⚠⚠⚠⚠��⚠⚠⚠⚠��
ATTENTION!!!! Do not join the group currently on Facebook with the title "to be a father or mother was the greatest gift of my life". it is a group of pedophiles who are trying to access the photos. Please copy and paste! We keep the kids safe! (please... lose a minute to copy and paste..)
Copy and paste and not share ��

Haha

Riesen_Meal · 15-10-2016 12:48pm

sligojoek wrote: »

⚠⚠⚠⚠��⚠⚠⚠⚠��
ATTENTION!!!! Do not join the group currently on Facebook with the title "to be a father or mother was the greatest gift of my life". it is a group of pedophiles who are trying to access the photos. Please copy and paste! We keep the kids safe! (please... lose a minute to copy and paste..)
Copy and paste and not share ��

Jaysus, it's back again....

mackeire · 15-10-2016 12:56pm

The Peados must be in their Peadolair concocting new peadoplans to get access to pictures of your lil princez and princezz's.
Who the fcuk dreams up these 'warnings'??

HS3 · 15-10-2016 2:08pm

So they've stopped driving round in white vans have they?

PopePalpatine · 15-10-2016 2:41pm

What if it's a false flag? :eek:

kunst nugget · 15-10-2016 9:43pm

mackeire wrote: »

The Peados must be in their Peadolair concocting new peadoplans to get access to pictures of your lil princez and princezz's.
Who the fcuk dreams up these 'warnings'??

Peadolair looks like one of those obscure Irish names trendy middle class couples pick for their spawn.

ligerdub · 15-10-2016 9:52pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

Peadolair looks like one of those obscure Irish names trendy middle class couples pick for their spawn.

Ha! Very good.

dirkmeister · 15-10-2016 11:18pm

So we were here tonight when a guy was over the railing trying to commit suicide and **** the amazing man he is calmed him down and stopped him can't even cope with the psychos here but being together has made us even stronger #myman #strongertogether #sohappy

Potential Underachiever · 16-10-2016 8:52pm

Not a status but I've seen a trend develop recently of these 'challenge accepted' type posts, if you can get 5k shares and 3k likes then you can have such and such! So f'ing dumb!

mikhail · 16-10-2016 9:06pm

Potential Underachiever wrote: »

Not a status but I've seen a trend develop recently of these 'challenge accepted' type posts, if you can get 5k shares and 3k likes then you can have such and such! So f'ing dumb!

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/one-million-facebook-likes-pleas I wonder whatever happened to young Optimus Prime.

Potential Underachiever · 16-10-2016 9:13pm

mikhail wrote: »

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/one-million-facebook-likes-pleas

Yes, they're sort of different to what I'm referring to though, it's people asking/begging say a pub can they have the use of their function room or a free DJ for the night if they can get so many likes, it's far lower scale than say trying for 1million likes worldwide type things, it's hard to explain really but I'm annoyed by it!

coolhull · 16-10-2016 9:27pm

"If you hate what cancer does to people, like and share this post"

OK, I've liked and shared. What happens now?

HellSquirrel · 16-10-2016 10:48pm

Cancer is now defeated.

Next up, world peace! Just 15,000 likes and shares for all conflict to end!

FizzleSticks · 17-10-2016 1:41pm

This post has been deleted.

GAAman · 17-10-2016 4:53pm

Not an update but

I just ordered something fairly expensive for my aunt and noticed amazon now gives the option for it to be posted to your Facebook or Twitter.

What could possibly go wrong with publicly advertising you have new expensive things in your house......

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

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