Why are men more homophobic compared to women?

27-08-2019 8:00pm

wiggle16 wrote: »

Oh! To be honest I thought there would be more glitter glue involved.

i actually put glitter in the search term. haha.

Tony EH · 27-08-2019 8:10pm

Floppybits wrote: »

Why is all the focus on hetrosexuals and they way they feel about homosexual behaviour?

Because that's the topic of the thread.

Floppybits wrote: »

What about gay people who find hetrosexuals repulsive? I am sure there are gay men and women out there that find hetrosexual PDA's not something they want to see.

A lot of them do. A lot of gay people don't want to be around "breeders" full stop and find the act of straight sex repulsive and disgusting, because it isn't their particular want, as it were.

The thing is, it's "ok" for a gay person to feel that way and to say it, because the tolerance to feel that way is extended to them. But, it''s somehow a crime against humanity if a straight person naturally feels uneasy about gay sex.

It's perfectly fine for someone to be "repulsed" by something, if one takes the meaning of "repulse" to be the mere opposite of "attract". There's nothing wrong here, or even that untoward as to cause offence.

The problem is some people take the word "repulse" to only mean it's nth degree.

Andreas77 · 27-08-2019 8:32pm

Repulsion at two males kissing is learned behaviour belonging to primitive and underdeveloped personality type suffering from low self esteem and inability to self-analyse imaginative shortcomings. One needs to put themselves in position of other, consider their feelings and needs, until repulsion is replaced by indifference or peaceful acceptance. I was this person. I was repulsed by sight of male tongues intertwined, exchange of saliva, squarish jaws interlocked, but looking back I see lack of intellectual honesty on my part, lack of openness, and greater submission to generic, thoughtless role play encouraged by mainstream movies. When I was very young I had recurrent fantasy and wet dream of hiring small plastic paddle boat (fibreglass chassis, imitation tug boat) in man-made city park lake during daylight hours with weather of 73°F (warm and sunny) . I will place feet on peddles and manoeuvre paddle boat around concrete circumference of lake as tall beautiful woman lifts body upwards and downwards with smooth transport on penis for her vagina. We are both naked and dog walkers, daytrippers, and recreational sportspeople are watching. She'll keep movements perfectly synchronised with male paddling so that we are calibrated like well oiled machine. I had wondered later in life if such a fantasy was possible but realised of following issues: performance anxiety during rutting, intervention of police, hassle from angry onlookers. Main job was as statistician for banking conglomerate. Duties included collecting statistics on rental market for analysis of mortgage rates, lending criteria etc. I was exceptional squash player who placed forth on national open, also keen on tennis, badminton, and handball. 80% of time was spent in office, but I would also work from home (particularly if I had glass of larger after work). Everybody in work was always telling me what an amazing job I was doing. On one of these mornings I was preparing report from home (hired to create cost benefit analysis which would be sold to outside firm. Actually I had to present this paper at Biennial which is where I met ex-wife. I had all expenses paid for me by purchase company including travel, food and accommodation, and when I have gone at end of trip to local office with receipts, I have seen stunning petite dark haired pale women sitting behind small desk, with telephone, series of tubes for holding pencils, Filofax. Right then and there I wanted to dive under desk and eat her out, selflessly for hours on end. Imagine that she will have to perform duties to other customers while I am under there deeply kissing her vulva, and rubbing my full head of hair against the inside of her legs. Okay. It was first and last time I was in love. We went to Moroccan restaurant and shared tagine next night (I stayed on) and actually we shared hookah (happy pineapple flavour it was called) and I’ll always remember first kiss as she tasted of this essence. We did not have sex until I returned a few months later but we continued romance online with dirty pictures, videos, chatter, also discussions of day to day life) when I got a call from a guy at work to tell me that beautiful young intern from Romania had started at job and that I should come in and meet her. Reason being that on first day intern would have lunch with other colleagues and this would be good opportunity for me to meet her and get a sense of whether we would be good match (I was single). Anyway we became a pair for maybe eight months. She was very sensual creature. Only issue is that she liked to call me daddy during intercourse which I never liked, but I had not self-confidence to mention it. Always seemed weird thing but this period of my life was marked by colossal sexual awakening. With her I did first ass play, double dipping, scooping, passionate kissing, and actually she became very familiar with different vegetables and fruit that I would just caress the inside of her thighs with and she would have to guess what variety it was. When I would come home from work she might be in sexy undies absolutely desperate to be penetrated, so I would make a show of patiently making dinner, maybe put on radio to listen to sports updates, until she was dizzy with desire, so you can imagine with a women like this I felt comfortable to tell her my fantasy of tug boat. For reasons mentioned already we agreed fantasy was not possible in perfect detail, but what she did for me I’ll never forget. We travelled together to nearby city with man-made recreational lake, and resting on adjacent grassy embankment she sat on top of me with only rain jacket and we had sex as I watched the lake and strolling passersby.

wiggle16 · 27-08-2019 8:36pm

Tug boat??

screamer · 27-08-2019 8:43pm

Wow there’s some amount of horse**** and high horsing in this thread. I really don’t know why it’s such an issue, whilst the marriage vote won, there was still a large number of voters who didn’t vote yes, ergo Things may be legal but not everyone is going to be ok with it.
I don’t like seeing anyone getting hot and heavy regardless of gender, I think it’s just coarse.

Roger Hassenforder · 27-08-2019 8:47pm

Im never eating tagine again.

beejee · 27-08-2019 8:48pm

Andreas77 wrote: »

Repulsion at two males kissing is learned behaviour belonging to primitive and underdeveloped personality type suffering from low self esteem and inability to self-analyse imaginative shortcomings. One needs to put themselves in position of other, consider their feelings and needs, until repulsion is replaced by indifference or peaceful acceptance. I was this person. I was repulsed by sight of male tongues intertwined, exchange of saliva, squarish jaws interlocked, but looking back I see lack of intellectual honesty on my part, lack of openness, and greater submission to generic, thoughtless role play encouraged by mainstream movies. When I was very young I had recurrent fantasy and wet dream of hiring small plastic paddle boat (fibreglass chassis, imitation tug boat) in man-made city park lake during daylight hours with weather of 73°F (warm and sunny) . I will place feet on peddles and manoeuvre paddle boat around concrete circumference of lake as tall beautiful woman lifts body upwards and downwards with smooth transport on penis for her vagina. We are both naked and dog walkers, daytrippers, and recreational sportspeople are watching. She'll keep movements perfectly synchronised with male paddling so that we are calibrated like well oiled machine. I had wondered later in life if such a fantasy was possible but realised of following issues: performance anxiety during rutting, intervention of police, hassle from angry onlookers. Main job was as statistician for banking conglomerate. Duties included collecting statistics on rental market for analysis of mortgage rates, lending criteria etc. I was exceptional squash player who placed forth on national open, also keen on tennis, badminton, and handball. 80% of time was spent in office, but I would also work from home (particularly if I had glass of larger after work). Everybody in work was always telling me what an amazing job I was doing. On one of these mornings I was preparing report from home (hired to create cost benefit analysis which would be sold to outside firm. Actually I had to present this paper at Biennial which is where I met ex-wife. I had all expenses paid for me by purchase company including travel, food and accommodation, and when I have gone at end of trip to local office with receipts, I have seen stunning petite dark haired pale women sitting behind small desk, with telephone, series of tubes for holding pencils, Filofax. Right then and there I wanted to dive under desk and eat her out, selflessly for hours on end. Imagine that she will have to perform duties to other customers while I am under there deeply kissing her vulva, and rubbing my full head of hair against the inside of her legs. Okay. It was first and last time I was in love. We went to Moroccan restaurant and shared tagine next night (I stayed on) and actually we shared hookah (happy pineapple flavour it was called) and I’ll always remember first kiss as she tasted of this essence. We did not have sex until I returned a few months later but we continued romance online with dirty pictures, videos, chatter, also discussions of day to day life) when I got a call from a guy at work to tell me that beautiful young intern from Romania had started at job and that I should come in and meet her. Reason being that on first day intern would have lunch with other colleagues and this would be good opportunity for me to meet her and get a sense of whether we would be good match (I was single). Anyway we became a pair for maybe eight months. She was very sensual creature. Only issue is that she liked to call me daddy during intercourse which I never liked, but I had not self-confidence to mention it. Always seemed weird thing but this period of my life was marked by colossal sexual awakening. With her I did first ass play, double dipping, scooping, passionate kissing, and actually she became very familiar with different vegetables and fruit that I would just caress the inside of her thighs with and she would have to guess what variety it was. When I would come home from work she might be in sexy undies absolutely desperate to be penetrated, so I would make a show of patiently making dinner, maybe put on radio to listen to sports updates, until she was dizzy with desire, so you can imagine with a women like this I felt comfortable to tell her my fantasy of tug boat. For reasons mentioned already we agreed fantasy was not possible in perfect detail, but what she did for me I’ll never forget. We travelled together to nearby city with man-made recreational lake, and resting on adjacent grassy embankment she sat on top of me with only rain jacket and we had sex as I watched the lake and strolling passersby.

Sardonicat · 27-08-2019 8:59pm

wiggle16 wrote: »

Tug boat??

Fibre glass chassis. And vegetables.

Really, Andre, that six burner hob is wasted on you.

wiggle16 · 27-08-2019 9:13pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

Fibre glass chassis. And vegetables.

Really, Andre, that six burner hob is wasted on you.

The inside-the-thigh which-vegetable-is-it guessing game is .... intriguing.

Andreas77 · 27-08-2019 9:16pm

I have made in last twelve months alone, vegetable terrine (gelatinous body formed with agar agar), rick stein recipe scallops, Portuguese eel cooked in own blood (didn’t like), monk fish curry, Indonesian curry with hake, jack-fruit burger, steak tartare, homemade rye bread, homemade sourdough including production of yeast, Japanese noodles in peanut satay, Indian dosas with homemade chutneys, lentil dhals, lasagne with homemade pasta, homemade ravioli, wagyu steaks cooked rare with perfect charring served with giant couscous salad, risotto (didn’t like), seafood paella, variety of homemade pasta sauces, production of Wensleydale cheese from scratch, lamb tagine with couscous, squash with coriander and Greek yogurt starter. Also bought cocktail recipe book with first steps taken (purchase of mixers)

Roger Hassenforder · 27-08-2019 9:16pm

wiggle16 wrote: »

The inside-the-thigh which-vegetable-is-it guessing game is .... intriguing.

All the while she desperate to be penetrated....
She must have been demented

puppieperson1 · 27-08-2019 9:24pm

in answer to the original question - women like gay s cos they wont rape them or spike their drinks or try to dis respect them, they will chat and have goo old fashioned fun . men being self centred as they are dont like gays cos they think they will rape them or spike their drinks or feel them up. its a role reversal really and shows that men truly love themselves and look out for them selves only.

wiggle16 · 27-08-2019 9:25pm

Andreas77 wrote: »

I have made in last twelve months alone, vegetable terrine (gelatinous body formed with agar agar), rick stein recipe scallops, Portuguese eel cooked in own blood (didn’t like), monk fish curry, Indonesian curry with hake, jack-fruit burger, steak tartare, homemade rye bread, homemade sourdough including production of yeast, Japanese noodles in peanut satay, Indian dosas with homemade chutneys, lentil dhals, lasagne with homemade pasta, homemade ravioli, wagyu steaks cooked rare with perfect charring served with giant couscous salad, risotto (didn’t like), seafood paella, variety of homemade pasta sauces, production of Wensleydale cheese from scratch, lamb tagine with couscous, squash with coriander and Greek yogurt starter. Also bought cocktail recipe book with first steps taken (purchase of mixers)

Okaaay, so the six-burner is earning its keep in that case!!

Where are you from, Andreas? Are you from Ireland? Abroad? Are you from the future?

27-08-2019 9:26pm

i know all about a gelatinous body

Sardonicat · 27-08-2019 9:53pm

wiggle16 wrote: »

The inside-the-thigh which-vegetable-is-it guessing game is .... intriguing.

Brussel sprouts or parsnips?

cloudatlas · 27-08-2019 9:57pm

Women who date homophobic men should watch out, men who are homophobic also despise women for their femininity and perceived weakness.

Sardonicat · 27-08-2019 9:57pm

Andreas77 wrote: »

production of Wensleydale cheese from scratch

Wallace? ! ! !

One eyed Jack · 27-08-2019 10:10pm

cloudatlas wrote: »

Women who date homophobic men should watch out, men who are homophobic also despise women for their femininity and perceived weakness.

I’m skeptical of a claim like that which makes any sort of a correlation between men who aren’t “au fait with the gay”, and how they perceive or treat women.

“Homophobic” as I’ve since come to learn, can mean anything, from the point of view of the accuser.

cloudatlas · 27-08-2019 10:29pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I’m skeptical of a claim like that which makes any sort of a correlation between men who aren’t “au fait with the gay”, and how they perceive or treat women.

“Homophobic” as I’ve since come to learn, can mean anything, from the point of view of the accuser.

It's simple, if a man despises another man for his perceived campness, weakness, fey and feminine traits it's a safe bet that he deep down despises women for their femininity and their similar traits and perceives them as lesser.

Wibbs · 27-08-2019 10:30pm

wiggle16 wrote: »

Where are you from, Andreas? Are you from Ireland? Abroad? Are you from the future?

While others may be channelling Sir Dave Attenborough, I'm hearing it all in a Germanic or Scandinavian monotone.

cloudatlas · 27-08-2019 10:35pm

In a nutshell misogyny. Homophobia is hatred of women repackaged, Homophobes are usually preoccupied with the sexual activities of gay men i.e. anal sex, men in leather ass less chaps etc., and gay men are perceived as taking on the woman's role, so by extension women are despised. The woman's role is less-than. In a culture where men hold the most power men who take on a woman's role willingly are going to frighten some men notably homophobes and misogynists. Misogyny and homophobia are often coupled together in my experience.

ILoveYourVibes · 27-08-2019 10:37pm

I don't think men are more homophobic that women at all.

Silentcorner · 27-08-2019 10:43pm

cloudatlas wrote: »

In a nutshell misogyny. Homophobia is hatred of women repackaged, Homophobes are usually preoccupied with the sexual activities of gay men i.e. anal sex, men in leather ass less chaps etc., and gay men are perceived as taking on the woman's role, so by extension women are despised. The woman's role is less-than. In a culture where men hold the most power men who take on a woman's role willingly are going to frighten some men notably homophobes and misogynists. Misogyny and homophobia are often coupled together in my experience.

I think we can all guess what social media rabbit hole you have been spending your time in...life is too short girl!

Feisar · 27-08-2019 10:47pm

cloudatlas wrote: »

In a nutshell misogyny. Homophobia is hatred of women repackaged, Homophobes are usually preoccupied with the sexual activities of gay men i.e. anal sex, men in leather ass less chaps etc., and gay men are perceived as taking on the woman's role, so by extension women are despised. The woman's role is less-than. In a culture where men hold the most power men who take on a woman's role willingly are going to frighten some men notably homophobes and misogynists. Misogyny and homophobia are often coupled together in my experience.

I think you are looking at backward cultures, seeing both and deciding there is a correlation. There may not be.

One eyed Jack · 27-08-2019 10:52pm

cloudatlas wrote: »

It's simple, if a man despises another man for his perceived campness, weakness, fey and feminine traits it's a safe bet that he deep down despises women for their femininity and their similar traits and perceives them as lesser.

Campness, weakness, effeminate traits have very little to do with a man’s sexual orientation. A man could have those traits and be either straight or gay, there’s simply no way to know without him telling you. Having said that, whether he was gay or straight I wouldn’t have much time for that sort of demeanour anyway.

I still wouldn’t view men like that in the same way I’d view women. They’re two completely different sexes for one thing. It seems like you’re working off the premise that men who you might consider to be homophobic would be concerned about gender equality, and would therefore treat effeminate men like they do women.

That’s why I was skeptical, because I wouldn’t be thinking like that at all myself. I’d be considered homophobic because I’m not on board with the whole idea, but that has no bearing upon how I perceive women. The critical difference being that women aren’t men, so I wouldn’t treat them as though they’re the same thing anyway.

Feisar · 27-08-2019 10:55pm

All this talk of weakness, I'm still not taking on Gareth Thomas in a fight!

wakka12 · 27-08-2019 11:09pm

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I don't think men are more homophobic that women at all.

Are you gay..? Ask any gay man or woman and theyll say women are less homophobic, or less vocal about their homophobia at least

cloudatlas · 27-08-2019 11:12pm

Silentcorner wrote: »

I think we can all guess what social media rabbit hole you have been spending your time in...life is too short girl!

What???

wakka12 · 27-08-2019 11:14pm

I dont know how related it is to misogyny, its an interesting theory but the type of guys who are homophobic and misogynistic are also always racist and just generally intolerant and hateful towards anyone they can be

cloudatlas · 27-08-2019 11:29pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Campness, weakness, effeminate traits have very little to do with a man’s sexual orientation. A man could have those traits and be either straight or gay, there’s simply no way to know without him telling you. Having said that, whether he was gay or straight I wouldn’t have much time for that sort of demeanour anyway.

I still wouldn’t view men like that in the same way I’d view women. They’re two completely different sexes for one thing. It seems like you’re working off the premise that men who you might consider to be homophobic would be concerned about gender equality, and would therefore treat effeminate men like they do women.

That’s why I was skeptical, because I wouldn’t be thinking like that at all myself. I’d be considered homophobic because I’m not on board with the whole idea, but that has no bearing upon how I perceive women. The critical difference being that women aren’t men, so I wouldn’t treat them as though they’re the same thing anyway.

Well I not sure what you mean by 'that sort of demeanour' if you don't mean feminine qualities. Also... 'I’m not on board with the whole idea' sounds ominous. Yet you wouldn't be comfortable being called a homophobe, you just want to be called something nice and fluffy and cuddly instead... how about 'gay averse'.... 'homo anxiety' 'queer dread'. Any of them sound nicer, safer?

One eyed Jack · 27-08-2019 11:31pm

wakka12 wrote: »

I dont know how related it is to misogyny, its an interesting theory but the type of guys who are homophobic and misogynistic are also always racist and just generally intolerant and hateful towards anyone they can be

A post like that wakka had me think of this tbh -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SA0aKjY8K50

27-08-2019 11:50pm

wakka12 wrote: »

I dont know how related it is to misogyny, its an interesting theory but the type of guys who are homophobic and misogynistic are also always racist and just generally intolerant and hateful towards anyone they can be

The amount of actual misogynist and homophobic men is very small, a few percent at most. They are a very loud few percent. It was much worse back in the 80s and before.

The amount of straight men uncomfortable or dare I say it repulsed watching or in the vicinity of gay sex would be far higher. Those same men could have gay friends or children who they support and love 100%.

Misogyny is most often seen in men raised by a doting mother and emotionally absent father. The type of upbringing that encourages a god complex. Often this is coupled with racism and homophobia.

Boys sexually abused by men are scarred for life. Boys sexually abused by women are celebrated as are their abusers. Look at the current French president.and his wife, a paedophile. Had it been the other way round, ie he was a middle aged schoolteacher who had a sexual realtionship with Mrs. Macron when she was his 14 year old student there would be no end of outrage.

Women who constantly go on about misogyny generally hate men and are incredibly boring to talk to.

This thread is full of rambling sh1te so I thought I'd add my 2c.

Ironicname · 27-08-2019 11:52pm

puppieperson1 wrote:

in answer to the original question - women like gay s cos they wont rape them or spike their drinks or try to dis respect them, they will chat and have goo old fashioned fun . men being self centred as they are dont like gays cos they think they will rape them or spike their drinks or feel them up. its a role reversal really and shows that men truly love themselves and look out for them selves only.

Yeah.... That's not true at all.

cloudatlas wrote:

It's simple, if a man despises another man for his perceived campness, weakness, fey and feminine traits it's a safe bet that he deep down despises women for their femininity and their similar traits and perceives them as lesser.

Not in the slightest. It's far from a safe bet.

cloudatlas wrote:

In a nutshell misogyny. Homophobia is hatred of women repackaged, Homophobes are usually preoccupied with the sexual activities of gay men i.e. anal sex, men in leather ass less chaps etc., and gay men are perceived as taking on the woman's role, so by extension women are despised. The woman's role is less-than. In a culture where men hold the most power men who take on a woman's role willingly are going to frighten some men notably homophobes and misogynists. Misogyny and homophobia are often coupled together in my experience.

You have very different experiences than me.

One eyed Jack · 27-08-2019 11:59pm

cloudatlas wrote: »

Well I not sure what you mean by 'that sort of demeanour' if you don't mean feminine qualities. Also... 'I’m not on board with the whole idea' sounds ominous. Yet you wouldn't be comfortable being called a homophobe, you just want to be called something nice and fluffy and cuddly instead... how about 'gay averse'.... 'homo anxiety' 'queer dread'. Any of them sound nicer, safer?

I don’t mean feminine qualities because I don’t associate men behaving camply with femininity. They’re still men. They’re just incredibly nauseating men.

I didn’t mean to imply I wouldn’t be comfortable with you suggesting I’m homophobic on the basis that me saying I’m not on board with the whole idea sounds ominous to you. I knew it would sound ominous to you, but I didn’t really care whether or not you think I’m homophobic, I was more interested in the association you were making between homophobia in men, and how they perceive women, as though they perceive women the same way they perceive camp men. You don’t have to take my word for it, but I can assure you that’s not how these things actually pan out in reality.

And as for the idea that women should watch out for the sort of men whom you regard as homophobic on the basis of how they perceive camp men, that they would treat women the same? I don’t imagine there’s anything more than supposition behind that idea either.

Edit: In short cloudatlas, and with the greatest of respect, I think you’re making a lot of assumptions that I can see how they’d make sense to you, but I don’t agree with the conclusions you’re coming to is all.

cj maxx · 28-08-2019 12:04am

wakka12 wrote: »

Are you gay..? Ask any gay man or woman and theyll say women are less homophobic, or less vocal about their homophobia at least

I think that's it, women tend to be less vocal about it . Makes their homophobia more insidious imo

cj maxx · 28-08-2019 12:27am

cloudatlas wrote: »

It's simple, if a man despises another man for his perceived campness, weakness, fey and feminine traits it's a safe bet that he deep down despises women for their femininity and their similar traits and perceives them as lesser.

Bull****

Reviews and Books Galore · 28-08-2019 8:50am

cloudatlas wrote: »

In a nutshell misogyny. Homophobia is hatred of women repackaged, Homophobes are usually preoccupied with the sexual activities of gay men i.e. anal sex, men in leather ass less chaps etc., and gay men are perceived as taking on the woman's role, so by extension women are despised. The woman's role is less-than. In a culture where men hold the most power men who take on a woman's role willingly are going to frighten some men notably homophobes and misogynists. Misogyny and homophobia are often coupled together in my experience.

Hmmm, men hold the most power?

nthclare · 28-08-2019 11:01am

Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

Hmmm, men hold the most power?

As Jock Ewing said, "nobody gives you power" real power is something you take...

In my opinion Jock Ewing from Dallas was a real portrayal of the alpha man.
Loved his wife and kid's, stood up for what he thought was right.

Told JR to look after Sue Ellen

Put Bobby in his place now and again, treated his son Ray like the other boy's...

He had fathered Ray out if wedlock but it took year's to find out he was Ray's dad

Said it as it is, never sulked or held a resentment.

He thought of principles over personality.

Sadly the alpha male is dwindling...

But eventually history repeats itself, he will rise up out of the ashes..

Why are men more homophobic compared to women?

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