What age should young adults leave the home?

mr_fegelien · 22-08-2019 2:26pm #1

When they've turned 18 or until after they've gotten a college degree/decent job to support themselves?

Plumbthedepths · 22-08-2019 2:27pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

When they've turned 18 or until after they've gotten a college degree/decent job to support themselves?

I would assume ( post 18)the correct answer is when they can find and afford their own place. I would have no interest in adding my son to the homeless numbers just because he is 19.

Del2005 · 22-08-2019 2:28pm

When they can afford to.

D13exile · 22-08-2019 2:33pm

I'd let mine stay until they could afford a place of their own, providing they contribute towards the bills, food etc. If they're working and earning, they can pay the family tax too! However I'd draw the line at them letting their girlfriends/boyfriends move in. I've got 5 kids and my house is cramped enough.

MrMiata · 22-08-2019 2:38pm

My situations relevant so I may as well post about it.

I'm 22, and I'm starting back into college this September (previously dropped out), I'm starting as a 2nd year so I've 3 years to go.

My parents have no issue with letting me live at home, namely because I'm paying out of pocket for college this time round and because I'm intentionally choosing something within driving distance to keep costs down.

I'll be around 25 when I graduate, assuming I can get some decent job I'll move out.

I doubt there's many 20 somethings+ staying at home because they really want to.
It's almost always down to some other commitment, or just plain old cost of rent.

mr_fegelien · 22-08-2019 2:42pm

MrMiata wrote: »

My situations relevant so I may as well post about it.

I'm 22, and I'm starting back into college this September (previously dropped out), I'm starting as a 2nd year so I've 3 years to go.

My parents have no issue with letting me live at home, namely because I'm paying out of pocket for college this time round and because I'm intentionally choosing something within driving distance to keep costs down.

I'll be around 25 when I graduate, assuming I can get some decent job I'll move out.

I doubt there's many 20 somethings+ staying at home because they really want to.
It's almost always down to some other commitment, or just plain old cost of rent.

What do you work as?

Samuel T. Cogley · 22-08-2019 2:44pm

Del2005 wrote: »

When they can afford to.

So about 50 in Dublin :pac:

One eyed Jack · 22-08-2019 2:47pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

When they've turned 18 or until after they've gotten a college degree/decent job to support themselves?

Ideally, as soon as possible, and the sooner the better!

22-08-2019 2:48pm

most leave home for college at 17

MrMiata · 22-08-2019 2:51pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

What do you work as?

I worked in a warehouse over the summer saving up, I'm hoping to get part time work going back to college too.

JustMe,K · 22-08-2019 2:52pm

Depends on the person and the family home set up. An 18 year old layabout would have no place with me, on the other hand an 18 yr old in college or working would be welcome to stay as long as they played by the rules. I wouldn't want to make my daughters life unnecessarily stressful by kicking her out simply because she reaches a certain age. Not opposed to kicking her out if she's being a tyrant though!

Fian · 22-08-2019 2:59pm

My children will be welcome to live with us until they want to leave and can afford their own place.

Both our eldest are in university near our home and we have another two who are still in school.

I am just delighted they got into the local university so that I don't have to fund rent for them in another city.

mr_fegelien · 22-08-2019 3:02pm

JustMe,K wrote: »

Depends on the person and the family home set up. An 18 year old layabout would have no place with me, on the other hand an 18 yr old in college or working would be welcome to stay as long as they played by the rules. I wouldn't want to make my daughters life unnecessarily stressful by kicking her out simply because she reaches a certain age. Not opposed to kicking her out if she's being a tyrant though!

know any 18yr olds that were kicked out and made homeless?

Deebles McBeebles · 22-08-2019 3:02pm

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

So about 50 in Dublin :pac:

That's very optimistic, S. At least down the country its only 40.

Makes me feel like standing up and screaming the national anthem such is my pride in my country.

Paddy Cow · 22-08-2019 3:04pm

Fian wrote: »

My children will be welcome to live with us until they want to leave and can afford their own place.

Both our eldest are in university near our home and we have another two who are still in school.

I am just delighted they got into the local university so that I don't have to fund rent for them in another city.

I came to post about this. Not everyone can stay at home for practical reasons. Any rural kids wanting to go to university will have to move and just get on with things. What I don't understand is adult kids who have jobs and don't contribute anything to the household and just blow through all their money, rather than saving.

Cina · 22-08-2019 3:05pm

If I had kids I wouldn't care how long they lived at home as long as they put in the effort and worked hard enough to eventually be in a position where they can move out, whenever that might be. Personally I'd nearly prefer if they saved up to travel the world a bit before bankrupting themselves trying to pay rent in Dublin.

JustMe,K · 22-08-2019 3:06pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

know any 18yr olds that were kicked out and made homeless?

I actually do.

decky1 · 22-08-2019 3:09pm

Have spoke to people about this for years, i have friends in Sweden most kids leave home anywhere from 16 to 18 ,but not good old ireland i know some [males] that are still at home in their 40's+,and contribute very little [most times in pubs etc], do they ever ever think that their parents would like some kind of life and get out and support themselves? Irish kids thing it's normal to stay at home and give up 50 euro at the end of the week, what would you but now for 50 +get you clothes washed , all meals nice warm house etc, they get it too handy Irish Mammies too soft.

cnocbui · 22-08-2019 3:17pm

There is no right or wrong answer to this - apart from kicking kids out who aren't equipped to fend for themselves. My son is 24 and living with me again, after being off at college for 4 years getting an IT degree. He's not working for someone, but is working on something. I don't think this is at all unusual, given the cost of accommodation: The house across from me has about 4 cars parked outside and i believe there are 2 or more adult offspring living at home. Down the road there is another house with 4 cars regularly parked there.

Multi generational housing is the norm in human history, not the exception.

Ray Palmer · 22-08-2019 3:53pm

Deleted User wrote: »

most leave home for college at 17

Not at all. For starters many people are 18 going to college and then there is all the people who still live close to the college they get into. Then you have the simple fact most do not go to college.
Being from Dublin most who do go to college do so in Dublin. You might notice Dublin has a huge population compared to the rest of the country so pretty relevant.

nkl12xtw5goz70 · 22-08-2019 4:10pm

Deleted User wrote: »

most leave home for college at 17

The 2016 Census showed that 59 percent of men over 18 and 41 percent of women were still living at home with their parents. So I don't think it's accurate to say that most leave home at 17.

sbsquarepants · 22-08-2019 4:25pm

I think for the kids own development - the sooner they're standing on their own 2 feet the better. There's nothing else quite wises you up like having to fend for yourself. No matter how independent you think you are, when you're living at home you may as well be in nappies.

I moved out at 21 thinking i was a fully fuctioning adult...... I wasn't!:D

facehugger99 · 22-08-2019 4:27pm

I know you're not supposed to judge people but I can't help feeling anyone still living with Mummy and Daddy past their mid-20's is failing in life quite badly.

Lemsiper · 22-08-2019 4:29pm

Was 19 doing leaving cert so parents would have been right cųnts to kick out their 17 year old TY student son.

Plumbthedepths · 22-08-2019 4:32pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

I know you're not supposed to judge people but I can't help feeling anyone still living with Mummy and Daddy past their mid-20's is failing in life quite badly.

Rents have never been more affordable or accommodation more plentiful........

ednwireland · 22-08-2019 4:34pm

as soon as they can climb chimneys

nkl12xtw5goz70 · 22-08-2019 4:35pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

I know you're not supposed to judge people but I can't help feeling anyone still living with Mummy and Daddy past their mid-20's is failing in life quite badly.

Maybe they wouldn't be failing in life quite so badly if they hadn't had to endure a financial crisis and then a housing crisis thanks to successive inept governments.

major bill · 22-08-2019 4:36pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

I know you're not supposed to judge people but I can't help feeling anyone still living with Mummy and Daddy past their mid-20's is failing in life quite badly.

I lived with me parents past me mid 20s and recently bought me own 4 bedroom house with the other half.

Good things come to those that wait and il forever be greatful to the folks for not fecking me out.

Plenty of others like me that work in a good honest job that don't have the luxury of affording their own home or pay the extortionate rents around Dublin.

facehugger99 · 22-08-2019 4:42pm

Camila Savory Thermometer wrote: »

Maybe they wouldn't be failing in life quite so badly if they hadn't had to endure a financial crisis and then a housing crisis thanks to successive inept governments.

Sure, there's always a handy excuse for those that don't want to stand on their own feet.

It's usually lads from Dublin that are the ones still living at home quite late in life with sob-stories of high rents, etc. Fellas from down the country somehow mange to live independently in the same city though.

suicide_circus · 22-08-2019 4:45pm

Twenty Four, Out The Door

khalessi · 22-08-2019 4:48pm

Revolving door policy here until we all bought our own houses

I will continue same with my kids

Plumbthedepths · 22-08-2019 4:49pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

Sure, there's always a handy excuse for those that don't want to stand on their own feet.

It's usually lads from Dublin that are the ones still living at home quite late in life with sob-stories of high rents, etc. Fellas from down the country somehow mange to live independently in the same city though.

So you don't accept there is a housing shortage or that rents are unaffordable to a significant number of people.

am i bovvered · 22-08-2019 4:55pm

Both my children left home at 18
Our son is now 24 and our daughter 21
Our son went to the UK and done an apprenticeship, made him grow up and quickly, he bought a small home last year.
Our daughter works in hospitality.

We were married at their age and always instilled in them the need to be independent.
We left Ireland last year and are traveling/working, so we are living life the opposite to what’s considered the norm.
Both our children are very mature, but the truth is we are all pretending to be adults !!!

_Brian · 22-08-2019 4:55pm

My parents didn’t care too much. I was gone to college at 17 and between that and getting a gaff with herself at 22 I only spent occasional nights at home.

My brother lived at home till 30

My kids can be in and out of the house as long as it serves them. Hopefully Mrs and myself be off doing stuff and traveling. We currently own two houses with one rented and all going well they will be getting a house each when the time comes.

Ray Palmer · 22-08-2019 4:57pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

Camila Savory Thermometer wrote: »

Maybe they wouldn't be failing in life quite so badly if they hadn't had to endure a financial crisis and then a housing crisis thanks to successive inept governments.

Sure, there's always a handy excuse for those that don't want to stand on their own feet.

It's usually lads from Dublin that are the ones still living at home quite late in life with sob-stories of high rents, etc. Fellas from down the country somehow mange to live independently in the same city though.

I love how sexist people are about men and think nothing of it. The reason so many women don't have to live at home is because they get prioritised on housing lists if they have a child. This active discrimination has being going on for decades where single men were dropping on the list. The were meant to address that but never have.
Lots of women living at home still have kids too yet people go on about men living at home. Lot more strain on the parents when they now have added grandchildren to their household that they are expected to take care of.

knockers84 · 22-08-2019 5:23pm

I wouldn't judge anyone still living with their folks whether 25 or 50 once they get on and respect their parents then each to their own. Definitely should be kicking in a hundred euro a week to the parents though.

Also if people are saving for their mortgage and just pitching in on food and bills nothing wrong with that either.

Also some people have mental illnesses and just don't fit in a workplace which I understand.

Personally I left home right after the leaving cert, got a job and got through three years of college as well. Did have financial backing from parents but the mother was an absolute control freak and constantly giving out to me, making fun of me, putting me down, saying i was useless, saying ull never get married, saying friends are only using me, when trying to study for the leaving cert purposely making nice and giving out to me, anything i said was wrong, saying ull never amount in life, and she was always looking for an argument. Was seriously affecting my mental health.

I still talk her but couldn't put up with it any longer. Thankfully now I'm 28, renting and saving for a mortgage, would like to move home to save more for the mortgage but not putting up with the constant put downs. It will just take an extra year or two of saving.

BrokenArrows · 22-08-2019 5:42pm

When I have kids I'd expect them to be out of the home permanently once they graduate college after a 4 year degree. So around the 22-24 year old mark.

Then maybe a year after that while they get setup into the world of employment.

After that I'd expect to be able to get on with my own life without having to deal with the day to day stuff of having another adult in my house.

LionelNashe · 22-08-2019 5:51pm

Camila Savory Thermometer wrote: »

The 2016 Census showed that 59 percent of men over 18 and 41 percent of women were still living at home with their parents. So I don't think it's accurate to say that most leave home at 17.

I think you meant to phrase this differently. It can't be right, the way you've stated it. 59% of men over 18 = 59% of adult males. You don't mean that 59% of adult men live with their parents.

Fian · 22-08-2019 5:55pm

suicide_circus wrote: »

Twenty Four, Out The Door

My son did the leaving this year, going to UCD in September, we live nearby so he will continue to live at home. He is 18 now but will be 19 in a few months. He will be 25 in his final year in his degree, never mind if he goes on to do some kind of post grad. So he won't be fecked out at 24.

Nicetrustedcup · 22-08-2019 6:00pm

Myself moved out at 18 for college.

Came home for the summer and worked for the father

Rince and repeat to i was 23 and then moved to another city and now I am a home owner at 27 living with the girlfirend.

I think you grow up faster once you move out and pay your own bills and rent.

Montage of Feck · 22-08-2019 6:02pm

I'll be near retirement age before I can leave home, thanks FF/G.

Del2005 · 22-08-2019 6:03pm

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

So about 50 in Dublin :pac:

Everything is cyclical. Just because rent is expensive now doesn't mean it'll always be. The rental crisis of the early part of this decade had people getting huge discounts from the asking price for rentals. So in the space of little over a decade we've gone from a property boom, to a bust and back to a boom. The world is entering a recession.

eviltwin · 22-08-2019 6:05pm

I was kicked out of home so I won't be repeating that mistake with my children

My eldest is 23 and at home, it's fine. She takes care of herself, there is no mammy or daddy doing her housework, and she looks after the place and the animals when we aren't home so it's handy in a way to have her here.

She's able to have her partner over, friends over etc. We aren't the kind of parents who interfere or tut over her lifestyle choices so its working out well for her too

ongarboy · 22-08-2019 6:09pm

Camila Savory Thermometer wrote: »

The 2016 Census showed that 59 percent of men over 18 and 41 percent of women were still living at home with their parents. So I don't think it's accurate to say that most leave home at 17.

That statistic is absolutely not correct - are you missing an upper age bracket in that cohort? - otherwise you are saying 60% of all adult males and 40 % of all adult females of every age live at home with their parents which is simply not true. 90% of people marry so 60 or 40% of them are not living at home with one or other set of parents. What about everyone over 50 who's parents are most likely dead - therefore the majority of them are not "living at home" with their parents either..

22-08-2019 6:18pm

We were shipped out regardless of being on our feet at 18. Unless we contributed more than the council rent was (ahaha)
So my four will be safe in their home until they are on the best path for them.
Unless they cause trouble/bring trouble/drugs to my door then they've picked the wrong path and Will be released into the wild world to find their own way.

Elessar · 22-08-2019 6:59pm

I admit that I'm 34 shortly and still living at home. I moved out last year for 6 months to live with the ex girlfriend. Unfortunately we broke up and I moved back home in January this year.

It's a double edged sword tbh. Living at home means meals cooked and the ability to save a lot more. I did check out a few apartments to share in Dublin recently but I'd be looking at €850-1000 per month for rent alone, and that's sharing! At the moment, I'd rather that money going into my savings account. Plus work is literally a 10 minute drive away.

On the other hand, I do feel stuck. I can't really do my own thing as much as I want, can't bring girls home, have to live by the rules etc. I can't really live my life as an adult as such.

I'm still reeling from the breakup if I'm honest, and I'm a bit aimless in life as a result. I'd love more than anything to get back with the ex and start life together again in our own place, but it's not to be. The familiarity of home is probably the best place for me at the moment while I pick up the threads of my old life and let go of the one I had with her.

The danger is I will just get too comfortable and still be here when I'm 40. But without a partner who loves me as much as I do her, it's hard to see a justifiable reason to leave sometimes.

So to answer the question, not 34.

mr_fegelien · 22-08-2019 7:45pm

Elessar wrote: »

I admit that I'm 34 shortly and still living at home. I moved out last year for 6 months to live with the ex girlfriend. Unfortunately we broke up and I moved back home in January this year.

It's a double edged sword tbh. Living at home means meals cooked and the ability to save a lot more. I did check out a few apartments to share in Dublin recently but I'd be looking at €850-1000 per month for rent alone, and that's sharing! At the moment, I'd rather that money going into my savings account. Plus work is literally a 10 minute drive away.

On the other hand, I do feel stuck. I can't really do my own thing as much as I want, can't bring girls home, have to live by the rules etc. I can't really live my life as an adult as such.

I'm still reeling from the breakup if I'm honest, and I'm a bit aimless in life as a result. I'd love more than anything to get back with the ex and start life together again in our own place, but it's not to be. The familiarity of home is probably the best place for me at the moment while I pick up the threads of my old life and let go of the one I had with her.

The danger is I will just get too comfortable and still be here when I'm 40. But without a partner who loves me as much as I do her, it's hard to see a justifiable reason to leave sometimes.

So to answer the question, not 34.

If your parents died, could you move in with anyone?

knockers84 · 22-08-2019 7:47pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

If your parents died, could you move in with anyone?

FFS

mr_fegelien · 22-08-2019 7:50pm

knockers84 wrote: »

FFS

I've immigrated here with my parents 10 years ago in first year and I can honestly say that if they die now, I'll be finished (metaphorically and literally). Don't have any family members here in Ireland.

khalessi · 22-08-2019 7:51pm

Elessar wrote: »

I admit that I'm 34 shortly and still living at home. I moved out last year for 6 months to live with the ex girlfriend. Unfortunately we broke up and I moved back home in January this year.

It's a double edged sword tbh. Living at home means meals cooked and the ability to save a lot more. I did check out a few apartments to share in Dublin recently but I'd be looking at €850-1000 per month for rent alone, and that's sharing! At the moment, I'd rather that money going into my savings account. Plus work is literally a 10 minute drive away.

On the other hand, I do feel stuck. I can't really do my own thing as much as I want, can't bring girls home, have to live by the rules etc. I can't really live my life as an adult as such.

I'm still reeling from the breakup if I'm honest, and I'm a bit aimless in life as a result. I'd love more than anything to get back with the ex and start life together again in our own place, but it's not to be. The familiarity of home is probably the best place for me at the moment while I pick up the threads of my old life and let go of the one I had with her.

The danger is I will just get too comfortable and still be here when I'm 40. But without a partner who loves me as much as I do her, it's hard to see a justifiable reason to leave sometimes.

So to answer the question, not 34.

You need to rebuild gather yourself and when you are ready you will move out. Happened to me too and eventually I felt gathered enough ad back to myself to move out. I used the opportunity to save some cash and now late 30s have own house. You will get there, dont sweat the small stuff

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 22-08-2019 7:52pm

When they get married and have kids of their own. Bye hun.

What age should young adults leave the home?

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