What age should young adults leave the home?

paleoperson · 26-08-2019 1:43am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

That isn't uncommon. I know in Ireland it is.

But Ireland is unusual.

Ireland is not unusual.

Can you give examples of anywhere in the world where it's common?

ILoveYourVibes · 26-08-2019 2:09am

paleoperson wrote: »

Ireland is not unusual.

Can you give examples of anywhere in the world where it's common?

The US.

France. Sweden Denmark Finland.

Scandinavians tend to move out earlier.

In Nordic countries the average is 21.

There are other countries that do it like Ireland. In china in major cities its like people never leave home.

Raconteuse · 26-08-2019 2:17am

Thought people nearly always moved out by their early 20s - because of working full-time, meeting their future spouse, emigrating. Nothing to do with America/Friends.

Living with the parents until later is more common now.

Airyfairy12 · 26-08-2019 2:47am

decky1 wrote: »

Have spoke to people about this for years, i have friends in Sweden most kids leave home anywhere from 16 to 18 ,but not good old ireland i know some [males] that are still at home in their 40's+,and contribute very little [most times in pubs etc], do they ever ever think that their parents would like some kind of life and get out and support themselves? Irish kids thing it's normal to stay at home and give up 50 euro at the end of the week, what would you but now for 50 +get you clothes washed , all meals nice warm house etc, they get it too handy Irish Mammies too soft.

I had to move home recently as I became unemployed, I hand up money every week, do my own washing and food shopping. Trying to find work, sending cv's and filling out applications for jobs all over the country and finding it extremely difficult to get anything. I wouldnt be judging adults who live at home because it is very hard to get on your feet in this country, there are very few opportunities and even the most menial jobs often require connections to get a foot in the door.

Dont assume that all adults living at home are living like children having their dinners cooked and everything done for them, besides myself, I have friends in their 30's living at home who fully look after themselves.

Those lucky enough to either be in secure employment or have a house handed to them by the government dont seem to be able to grasp how difficult it is for people who are genuinely trying to get their lives on track.

Keep in mind its also very difficult to get accommodation and that's not exclusive to Dublin, renting now also requires the right connections in allot of cases.

I consider myself very lucky to be in a position were I can live with my parents and resent being looked down upon for doing so. I would literally be homeless otherwise.

ILoveYourVibes · 26-08-2019 2:48am

I hope you find a great job soon Airy.

Airyfairy12 · 26-08-2019 2:49am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I hope you find a great job soon Airy.

Thanks, me too

kowloon · 26-08-2019 3:45am

I can't afford to move out as I'm saving up for a suspicious bus accident for my extended family.

mr_fegelien · 26-08-2019 9:17am

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

I had to move home recently as I became unemployed, I hand up money every week, do my own washing and food shopping. Trying to find work, sending cv's and filling out applications for jobs all over the country and finding it extremely difficult to get anything. I wouldnt be judging adults who live at home because it is very hard to get on your feet in this country, there are very few opportunities and even the most menial jobs often require connections to get a foot in the door.

Dont assume that all adults living at home are living like children having their dinners cooked and everything done for them, besides myself, I have friends in their 30's living at home who fully look after themselves.

Those lucky enough to either be in secure employment or have a house handed to them by the government dont seem to be able to grasp how difficult it is for people who are genuinely trying to get their lives on track.

Keep in mind its also very difficult to get accommodation and that's not exclusive to Dublin, renting now also requires the right connections in allot of cases.

I consider myself very lucky to be in a position were I can live with my parents and resent being looked down upon for doing so. I would literally be homeless otherwise.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

I'm 22 myself and just failed my LC so going to do a PLC.

Lux23 · 26-08-2019 9:34am

When I moved out, I got a box room of the South Circular Road for 290 and then I moved into a double a few months later for 325. How much would that cost now? I had a great time, but I wouldn't have had such a fun time if my rent was twice the price, so I don't think we can really judge people in their 20s for staying at home. I feel sorry for them.

El_Duderino 09 · 26-08-2019 10:17am

Lux23 wrote: »

When I moved out, I got a box room of the South Circular Road for 290 and then I moved into a double a few months later for 325. How much would that cost now? I had a great time, but I wouldn't have had such a fun time if my rent was twice the price, so I don't think we can really judge people in their 20s for staying at home. I feel sorry for them.

This is it. Wages are relatively low and rent is relatively high.

Young people are expected to leave home and work for some old business owner. Then take their minimum wage and hand it over to an old property owner in rent. Then have old people complain about how young people are stupid because x y Z reasons.

Owning a house is a fantasy for lots of young people today. With the state of wages:house prices. Old people with property should be incredibly grateful that the government has taken steps to keep old wealthy people happy by inflating property prices. Meanwhile young people have to deal with renting those properties at inflated prices.

Old people are living off young people but still get to castigate them at every turn. Sweet little deal for the old folk. Not so great for young people though. Old people have borrowed and young people are paying off their debt through rent. And what thanks do they get?

mr_fegelien · 26-08-2019 10:19am

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

This is it. Wages are relatively low and rent is relatively high.

Young people are expected to leave home and work for some old business owner. Then take their minimum wage and hand it over to an old property owner in rent. Then have old people complain about how young people are stupid because x y Z reasons.

Owning a house is a fantasy for lots of young people today. With the state of wages:house prices. Old people with property should be incredibly grateful that the government has taken steps to keep old wealthy people happy by inflating property prices. Meanwhile young people have to deal with renting those properties at inflated prices.

Old people are living off young people but still get to castigate them at every turn. Sweet little deal for the old folk. Not so great for young people though. Old people have borrowed and young people are paying off their debt through rent. And what thanks do they get?

Ireland is becoming a third world ****hole tbf...Corrupt politicians, high cost of living

Pyr0 · 26-08-2019 10:22am

Lux23 wrote: »

When I moved out, I got a box room of the South Circular Road for 290 and then I moved into a double a few months later for 325. How much would that cost now? I had a great time, but I wouldn't have had such a fun time if my rent was twice the price, so I don't think we can really judge people in their 20s for staying at home. I feel sorry for them.

A box room would probably cost you 550 and a double room about 600 on the south circular, that's if you manage to actually get one that isn't 'for students only'

theteal · 26-08-2019 11:08am

There's no one correct answer, everyone's situation is different. Some of the black and white answers here are quite disconcerting. Ideally you'd want to be out in your early 20s but sometimes it just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make financial sense for someone from the outskirts of Dublin to get into the current rental madness to live in a slightly different part of the outskirts of Dublin. Granted this person wil be missing out on some life experiences but the bigger picture needs to be looked at. Stay at home, save your deposit, contribute what you can and don't be a leech.

I'm trying to think of my own experience, I was about 26 iirc, was making loads of money at the time (well more than parents combined) but the celtic bubble was in full swing in the previous couple of years - the auld fella told me not to be stupid when I spoke of moving out. The girlfriend was studying abroad (I was paying half that rent) and we were fairly confident we'd be moving to some part of the UK when she graduated. The plan was to sit tight and save save save.

The youngest brother is 30 next month, has lived abroad for a few years. Now he's back, I don't think the idea of moving out has even come up. The parents don't mind in the slightest, they're both retired now and come and go as they please. They know the house is safe. The mother always has an extra option for a lift when needed.

I do also have a few first hand examples of the mid 30s, no gumption leech though which is all kinds of wrong. No plan, lots of excuses, blaming a lot of factors but doing little to push on.

Anyway, I won't be kicking our kids out. It was our choice to have them so it seems wrong to turf them out at any stage. They'll be raised to be independent and given all the reasonable help they need but as for actually fcuking them out of the nest, nah won't happen - well unless we need to sell up to piss off to the sun

El_Duderino 09 · 26-08-2019 1:58pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Ireland is becoming a third world ****hole tbf...Corrupt politicians, high cost of living

Well, I disagree with the third world bit. But the urge to protect old people's wealth by getting young people to pay for it, is wrong.

Samuel T. Cogley · 26-08-2019 2:03pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

This is it. Wages are relatively low and rent is relatively high.

Young people are expected to leave home and work for some old business owner. Then take their minimum wage and hand it over to an old property owner in rent. Then have old people complain about how young people are stupid because x y Z reasons.

Owning a house is a fantasy for lots of young people today. With the state of wages:house prices. Old people with property should be incredibly grateful that the government has taken steps to keep old wealthy people happy by inflating property prices. Meanwhile young people have to deal with renting those properties at inflated prices.

Old people are living off young people but still get to castigate them at every turn. Sweet little deal for the old folk. Not so great for young people though. Old people have borrowed and young people are paying off their debt through rent. And what thanks do they get?

Half true. The tax on rent is relatively high and the only thing keeping the HAP wagon going. So not only are they getting screwed by the rich they're disproportionately supporting the poor.

Raconteuse · 26-08-2019 2:47pm

Ireland is far from a third world country (we take clean water, food, education and medicine for granted) but there are economic problems. No 18-year-old could go it alone. I reckon the "18 and out the door" stuff is just bluster though.

El_Duderino 09 · 26-08-2019 3:30pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

Ireland is far from a third world country (we take clean water, food, education and medicine for granted) but there are economic problems. No 18-year-old could go it alone. I reckon the "18 and out the door" stuff is just bluster though.

I think it also shows a complete lack of understanding of how prospects have changed for young people

tonycascarino · 26-08-2019 3:34pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

Living with the parents until later is more common now.

It is easy to see why. If you stay at home longer you have a much better chance of getting a decent sum together for a deposit to buy or build your own house.

It is a much smarter option than to be handing over dead money to a landlord with nothing to show for it in the end.

paleoperson · 26-08-2019 3:47pm

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

The US.

France. Sweden Denmark Finland.

Scandinavians tend to move out earlier.

In Nordic countries the average is 21.

There are other countries that do it like Ireland. In china in major cities its like people never leave home.

As I suspected you haven't a ****ing clue and are giving wisdom from what you read online, what a terrible poster.

El_Duderino 09 · 26-08-2019 4:29pm

tonycascarino wrote: »

It is easy to see why. If you stay at home longer you have a much better chance of getting a decent sum together for a deposit to buy or build your own house.

It is a much smarter option than to be handing over dead money to a landlord with nothing to show for it in the end.

Absolutely. I can see why some chinless wonder with rental properties would scoff at the idea of young people living with parents while they save for the rest of their lives (house, children etc.)

I work with some younger people who live at home. They're going to walk out of Home having saved tens of thousands towards their own home and get a home. I rent a house and pay a significant portion of my earnings to an old man while I scrape up a couple of hundreds towards buying a house some day in the distant future.

Its clear who's winning. I don't begrudge the people who live at home while they save for their future.

Febreeze · 26-08-2019 4:39pm

Since I was 20, I've moved out then back home. Currently moved out now and have been for the longest time with my partner. Its a case of having enough money. Luckily I'm in a stable financial situation. I don't think there's any age really.

NeonWolf · 26-08-2019 5:29pm

I don’t understand people who have kids, Instagram the **** out of them , live vicariously through them only to **** them out as soon as they legally can.

It’s weird.

Whatever about your 45 year old son still being there, why wouldn’t you want a 28 year old knocking about . Once you all get on that is....
I mean you’ll all miss each other when yis die

kowloon · 26-08-2019 6:40pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Well, I disagree with the third world bit. But the urge to protect old people's wealth by getting young people to pay for it, is wrong.

The avg. income has gone up, as has the cost of living, but the wealth gap has widened since the recession. I'm no economologist, but I reckon there's a lot of people being shat on by a high rent/low wage combo that is hidden behind the averages.

knockers84 · 26-08-2019 6:57pm

Who cares once the parents are happy with the situation.

El_Duderino 09 · 26-08-2019 8:00pm

kowloon wrote: »

The avg. income has gone up, as has the cost of living, but the wealth gap has widened since the recession. I'm no economologist, but I reckon there's a lot of people being shat on by a high rent/low wage combo that is hidden behind the averages.

Precisely that. If wage over 50,000 PA and minimum wage both increase at 3% per year for 10 years, the gap between them has grown hugely.

Greater and greater % of young people's wages are spent on housing and rent. Renting from old people to subsidise their already higher income. For the first time ever, old people's wages (not including wealth) is higher than young people. So now the old have the money and the assets.

It's not surprising that they don't have a clue whats going on for young people. Why would they bother to find out? It wouldn't suit them if they knew how out if whack things have gone.

Much easier to just give out about young people living at home than to wonder why it's happening

Raconteuse · 26-08-2019 8:35pm

NeonWolf wrote: »

I don’t understand people who have kids, Instagram the **** out of them , live vicariously through them only to **** them out as soon as they legally can.

I doubt there are people like the above though.

Illgetmycoat · 26-08-2019 9:37pm

If you love your kids then for as long as they want no matter what the circumstances 😏

Path123 · 27-08-2019 11:24am

I moved out when I was 22, once I had finished my Masters Degree and was working full-time. I think it's important for people to get out if they can, as you do learn an awful lot of cop-on and how to budget/save correctly when it's all on you. I'm getting married next month, and have saved up every cent with my partner without having to go into debt or get a loan as you realise very quickly, once you get your independence the bank of mam and dad is long foreclosed.

I see my sibling is 28, engaged to be married, works during the week down in Cork (we live in the West) but spends every weekend at home, for all intents and purposes she's still there full-time, and it does create a lot of hostility and dependency on parents, it's an odd situation and i'm just glad I was able to avoid it.

Each to their own, but I do think it's so important to get out from your parental stability/full fridge/rent paid if possible- you learn an awful lot very fast when you realise nobody cares if you have money for groceries/electricity!!

Edgware · 27-08-2019 1:32pm

24. Show em the door

mr_fegelien · 27-08-2019 5:59pm

Path123 wrote: »

I moved out when I was 22, once I had finished my Masters Degree and was working full-time. I think it's important for people to get out if they can, as you do learn an awful lot of cop-on and how to budget/save correctly when it's all on you. I'm getting married next month, and have saved up every cent with my partner without having to go into debt or get a loan as you realise very quickly, once you get your independence the bank of mam and dad is long foreclosed.

I see my sibling is 28, engaged to be married, works during the week down in Cork (we live in the West) but spends every weekend at home, for all intents and purposes she's still there full-time, and it does create a lot of hostility and dependency on parents, it's an odd situation and i'm just glad I was able to avoid it.

Each to their own, but I do think it's so important to get out from your parental stability/full fridge/rent paid if possible- you learn an awful lot very fast when you realise nobody cares if you have money for groceries/electricity!!

Yea, it's a cold hard world out there.

May I ask how you got a Masters degree at only 22? Was it 3/4 years for a bachelors and 1/2 for a Masters? What degree did you do?

I'm only 21 and failed repeating the LC twice so I'm ****ed. Gonna do a course in journalism. Wonder what its like.

Paddy Cow · 27-08-2019 10:08pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Yea, it's a cold hard world out there.

May I ask how you got a Masters degree at only 22? Was it 3/4 years for a bachelors and 1/2 for a Masters? What degree did you do?

I'm only 21 and failed repeating the LC twice so I'm ****ed. Gonna do a course in journalism. Wonder what its like.

It's quite possible. Not everyone does transition year or repeats and if they start at 4 it means they are starting university at 17. 4 year degree plus 1 year master = finished by 22.

Most kids are starting school now at 5, do ty and if repeat can be 19 or even 20 when finishing the leaving!

Sunny Disposition · 27-08-2019 10:53pm

Personally I left home at the age of 14, got the bus to Dublin, boat to Wales and then down to London.Slept rough for a while, but got digs then, started working with a block layer. Learned the trade myself and went out in my own at 19. Employed 115 people at 29, sold the business at 33, retired madly enough and went back home in 1988, my fortune made.
Couldn’t have done it if I’d stayed at home, that’s the reality.
My young fella is 31 now, and won’t get out of the house. Says it’s too expensive and he’d be lonely. Some change in times.
Now I know not everyone had the success I had, some fell foul of booze and even cocaine, but things have gone too far now.

Raconteuse · 27-08-2019 10:57pm

Illgetmycoat wrote: »

If you love your kids then for as long as they want no matter what the circumstances 😏

Once they contribute to the household, whether chores or paying bills. But yeah, don't see how it matters what age an adult living in their parents' house is, so long as they're not a lazy freeloader.

metaoblivia · 28-08-2019 12:12am

I moved out immediately after finishing my undergrad degree, but moved back in with my mom about 8 years later for 4 years. During that time, I paid monthly rent, paid for my own groceries, and helped with cleaning, house maintenance, etc. I saved up money to move to San Francisco, which was on the other side of the country. I moved out over 5 years ago and have been out here living on my own ever since, making more money than I could have ever earned in my small, Southern hometown. I live comfortably, can afford to travel abroad, took my mom to Hawaii last year, all while taking advantage of my company's generous 401k plan, so saving money monthly as well.

I don't know of anyone who could move out on their own in Bay Area (or any top tier American city) at 18 without having 5+ roommates or parental assistance. All of the people under 40 I know who bought their own place out here did so with the help of a large inheritance or a trust fund. I don't see how moving in with your parents to save some money on rent for a few years is much different from that, to be honest.

Path123 · 28-08-2019 9:59am

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Yea, it's a cold hard world out there.

May I ask how you got a Masters degree at only 22? Was it 3/4 years for a bachelors and 1/2 for a Masters? What degree did you do?

I'm only 21 and failed repeating the LC twice so I'm ****ed. Gonna do a course in journalism. Wonder what its like.

Started college at 18, 3 year undergraduate and 1 year Masters then, background in HR. I wouldn't worry so much about age, i'm going to be going back to retrain in a completely unrelated field at 27 once i've saved up enough cash to do so. Don't put a timeframe on anything, people have their own path.

Raconteuse · 28-08-2019 12:22pm

Friend of mine actually moved into his mother's house when he was 35. Big house, she was on her own, his relationship had ended - won't be forever. I thought it was an excellent idea. His mother was of course delighted with the company too.

voldejoie · 28-08-2019 1:49pm

I recently moved back home from Dublin at the grand age of 28, and now I commute to the city and live with my parents. They have been out of work for a while, and it made no sense for me to be in Dublin spending crazy money on rent when they were struggling to pay their mortgage and keep the house going.

Moving back has actually been grand, and my parents are appreciative of me helping out. Win win! What works for one family doesn't always work for another, and isn't it great that we live in a world where we can decide that for ourselves

Dial Hard · 28-08-2019 2:18pm

I moved out at 23, bought a house with my sister. Moved in with my now-ex husband and then found myself back at home at 29 when that ended. I stayed there for about 18 months while I put my heart back together and have been renting ever since. I've pretty much accepted at this stage that I'll never be in a position to buy again while paying rent. I could move home and save like the clappers for several years but quite frankly, I would rather pay the rent and have my own space than move home at 37 for however long it would take me to save a deposit. And my parents are fantastic and really easy to live with but still, no, not for me, thanks.

Fwiw, we were all expected to hand up money at home as soon as we started working full time and even if I did move home to save now I'd be expected to pay probably around €400 a month in "rent", and rightly so, imo.

MetzgerMeister · 28-08-2019 2:41pm

I was living with my parents until a year ago. I'm 33 and spent the previous 6 years or so saving for moving out on top of repaying car loans and paying my way in their house. I saved for my mortgage deposit and bought my own place in February 2018 and moved in in August 2018.

On top of giving my folks money towards bills I looked after all the gardening and landscaping upkeep.

As was said, it does not matter what age you are when you move out as long as you're contributing to more than reducing the amount of food in the house.

What age should young adults leave the home?

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