What age should young adults leave the home?

Raconteuse · 25-08-2019 4:14pm

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

I remained at home until my mid 20s but was paying for my upkeep from the time I started working at 18.

If parents are happy for their adult offspring to pay nothing that's their business but I think it's strange that someone wouldn't want to contribute to the household for bed and board.

Same here once I started working full-time at 21/22. Paid towards bills and groceries, saved for a car and then moved out at 23. It's not the same at all as being a freeloader.

But I do appreciate that such freeloaders exist. Few and far between I'd say though.

Moved back for a few months after I did a postgrad - while looking for a job/place. Couldn't get out fast enough but still appreciate hugely having that option.

monkeysnapper · 25-08-2019 4:19pm

As soon as I left school my mother told me to forget college or as we called it in Wales 6th form , go out to work and pay my way ...

My mum brought us up on her own , 2 sisters ( 4 and 5 years older than me )

My oldest sister left at 18 because she met a 30 year old man , got married , 2 kids devorse never came back , hated living at home with my mum.

My other sister stayed a few years and moved to America and never came back , hated living at home ...

when I left school at 16 I got job and at 18 I left home , I couldn't stay there either , my mum would go through your personal stuff , looking for pay slips, shed charge me 20 pound a week even tho I was getting around 35 , at 18 I was getting more and her charges went up to 100 pound a month plus half of all Bill's.

So off I went .... she said as I left at 18 " you'll be back"!!!

2 years later I got on bicycle with tent, sleeping bag ect ect and left Wales on way to fishguard and got on boat , I cycled to cork and back in 10 days and fell in love with Ireland..

2 weeks after i got back i packed my bags , got a lift to fishguard and got on boat , I headed for killarney on bus .

I also got told " you'll be back "

20 years later and I'm married , 3 Irish kids and 2 irish dogs , house ... not bad for a guy with a backpack and bus to the unknown.

Ironically I'm texting this from Wales as I'm over with kids on holiday at my mums .... been here a week ....I cant wait to go back tomorrow, I suppose she was right ,,, I'd be back ....but not for long ...!!!!

Raconteuse · 25-08-2019 4:23pm

monkeysnapper wrote: »

As soon as I left school my mother told me to forget college or as we called it in Wales 6th form , go out to work and pay my way ...

My mum brought us up on her own , 2 sisters ( 4 and 5 years older than me )

My oldest sister left at 18 because she met a 30 year old man , got married , 2 kids devorse never came back , hated living at home with my mum.

My other sister stayed a few years and moved to America and never came back , hated living at home ...

when I left school at 16 I got job and at 18 I left home , I couldn't stay there either , my mum would go through your personal stuff , looking for pay slips, shed charge me 20 pound a week even tho I was getting around 35 , at 18 I was getting more and her charges went up to 100 pound a month plus half of all Bill's.

So off I went .... she said as I left at 18 " you'll be back"!!!

2 years later I got on bicycle with tent, sleeping bag ect ect and left Wales on way to fishguard and got on boat , I cycled to cork and back in 10 days and fell in love with Ireland..

2 weeks after i got back i packed my bags , got a lift to fishguard and got on boat , I headed for killarney on bus .

I also got told " you'll be back "

20 years later and I'm married , 3 Irish kids and 2 irish dogs , house ... not bad for a guy with a backpack and bus to the unknown.

Ironically I'm texting this from Wales as I'm over with kids on holiday at my mums .... been here a week ....I cant wait to go back tomorrow, I suppose she was right ,,, I'd be back ....but not for long ...!!!!

Fab - love it!

branie2 · 25-08-2019 5:25pm

The minute they turn 18

mr_fegelien · 25-08-2019 5:35pm

branie2 wrote: »

The minute they turn 18

Serious????

Wesser · 25-08-2019 5:39pm

24, out the door

andekwarhola · 25-08-2019 11:33pm

As long as they need to.

They're my kids- I wouldn't have had them if I was counting the days to when I could boot them out.

I moved out first in my early 20s but was sometimes back temporarily, usually between rentals. Bought a place in my early 30s. It was a different world in Dublin in my 20s though, probably the last generation of young people that could afford to be Independent on low to modest incomes.

paleoperson · 26-08-2019 12:42am

The idea of getting the kids out of the house is unnatural and a real American thing. Ireland was never like that until Friends and the rest of the American culture hit. Suddenly children living at home until their mid-20s was "omg so uncool like". The normal way of life is to keep kids in the house for as long as possible, especially if it's only one or two that are staying.

ILoveYourVibes · 26-08-2019 12:43am

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Serious????

That isn't uncommon. I know in Ireland it is.

But Ireland is unusual.

emo72 · 26-08-2019 12:55am

Thanks to FFG/LAB I think they'll be living at home forever.

paleoperson · 26-08-2019 1:43am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

That isn't uncommon. I know in Ireland it is.

But Ireland is unusual.

Ireland is not unusual.

Can you give examples of anywhere in the world where it's common?

ILoveYourVibes · 26-08-2019 2:09am

paleoperson wrote: »

Ireland is not unusual.

Can you give examples of anywhere in the world where it's common?

The US.

France. Sweden Denmark Finland.

Scandinavians tend to move out earlier.

In Nordic countries the average is 21.

There are other countries that do it like Ireland. In china in major cities its like people never leave home.

Raconteuse · 26-08-2019 2:17am

Thought people nearly always moved out by their early 20s - because of working full-time, meeting their future spouse, emigrating. Nothing to do with America/Friends.

Living with the parents until later is more common now.

Airyfairy12 · 26-08-2019 2:47am

decky1 wrote: »

Have spoke to people about this for years, i have friends in Sweden most kids leave home anywhere from 16 to 18 ,but not good old ireland i know some [males] that are still at home in their 40's+,and contribute very little [most times in pubs etc], do they ever ever think that their parents would like some kind of life and get out and support themselves? Irish kids thing it's normal to stay at home and give up 50 euro at the end of the week, what would you but now for 50 +get you clothes washed , all meals nice warm house etc, they get it too handy Irish Mammies too soft.

I had to move home recently as I became unemployed, I hand up money every week, do my own washing and food shopping. Trying to find work, sending cv's and filling out applications for jobs all over the country and finding it extremely difficult to get anything. I wouldnt be judging adults who live at home because it is very hard to get on your feet in this country, there are very few opportunities and even the most menial jobs often require connections to get a foot in the door.

Dont assume that all adults living at home are living like children having their dinners cooked and everything done for them, besides myself, I have friends in their 30's living at home who fully look after themselves.

Those lucky enough to either be in secure employment or have a house handed to them by the government dont seem to be able to grasp how difficult it is for people who are genuinely trying to get their lives on track.

Keep in mind its also very difficult to get accommodation and that's not exclusive to Dublin, renting now also requires the right connections in allot of cases.

I consider myself very lucky to be in a position were I can live with my parents and resent being looked down upon for doing so. I would literally be homeless otherwise.

ILoveYourVibes · 26-08-2019 2:48am

I hope you find a great job soon Airy.

Airyfairy12 · 26-08-2019 2:49am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I hope you find a great job soon Airy.

Thanks, me too

kowloon · 26-08-2019 3:45am

I can't afford to move out as I'm saving up for a suspicious bus accident for my extended family.

mr_fegelien · 26-08-2019 9:17am

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

I had to move home recently as I became unemployed, I hand up money every week, do my own washing and food shopping. Trying to find work, sending cv's and filling out applications for jobs all over the country and finding it extremely difficult to get anything. I wouldnt be judging adults who live at home because it is very hard to get on your feet in this country, there are very few opportunities and even the most menial jobs often require connections to get a foot in the door.

Dont assume that all adults living at home are living like children having their dinners cooked and everything done for them, besides myself, I have friends in their 30's living at home who fully look after themselves.

Those lucky enough to either be in secure employment or have a house handed to them by the government dont seem to be able to grasp how difficult it is for people who are genuinely trying to get their lives on track.

Keep in mind its also very difficult to get accommodation and that's not exclusive to Dublin, renting now also requires the right connections in allot of cases.

I consider myself very lucky to be in a position were I can live with my parents and resent being looked down upon for doing so. I would literally be homeless otherwise.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

I'm 22 myself and just failed my LC so going to do a PLC.

Lux23 · 26-08-2019 9:34am

When I moved out, I got a box room of the South Circular Road for 290 and then I moved into a double a few months later for 325. How much would that cost now? I had a great time, but I wouldn't have had such a fun time if my rent was twice the price, so I don't think we can really judge people in their 20s for staying at home. I feel sorry for them.

El_Duderino 09 · 26-08-2019 10:17am

Lux23 wrote: »

When I moved out, I got a box room of the South Circular Road for 290 and then I moved into a double a few months later for 325. How much would that cost now? I had a great time, but I wouldn't have had such a fun time if my rent was twice the price, so I don't think we can really judge people in their 20s for staying at home. I feel sorry for them.

This is it. Wages are relatively low and rent is relatively high.

Young people are expected to leave home and work for some old business owner. Then take their minimum wage and hand it over to an old property owner in rent. Then have old people complain about how young people are stupid because x y Z reasons.

Owning a house is a fantasy for lots of young people today. With the state of wages:house prices. Old people with property should be incredibly grateful that the government has taken steps to keep old wealthy people happy by inflating property prices. Meanwhile young people have to deal with renting those properties at inflated prices.

Old people are living off young people but still get to castigate them at every turn. Sweet little deal for the old folk. Not so great for young people though. Old people have borrowed and young people are paying off their debt through rent. And what thanks do they get?

mr_fegelien · 26-08-2019 10:19am

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

This is it. Wages are relatively low and rent is relatively high.

Young people are expected to leave home and work for some old business owner. Then take their minimum wage and hand it over to an old property owner in rent. Then have old people complain about how young people are stupid because x y Z reasons.

Owning a house is a fantasy for lots of young people today. With the state of wages:house prices. Old people with property should be incredibly grateful that the government has taken steps to keep old wealthy people happy by inflating property prices. Meanwhile young people have to deal with renting those properties at inflated prices.

Old people are living off young people but still get to castigate them at every turn. Sweet little deal for the old folk. Not so great for young people though. Old people have borrowed and young people are paying off their debt through rent. And what thanks do they get?

Ireland is becoming a third world ****hole tbf...Corrupt politicians, high cost of living

Pyr0 · 26-08-2019 10:22am

Lux23 wrote: »

When I moved out, I got a box room of the South Circular Road for 290 and then I moved into a double a few months later for 325. How much would that cost now? I had a great time, but I wouldn't have had such a fun time if my rent was twice the price, so I don't think we can really judge people in their 20s for staying at home. I feel sorry for them.

A box room would probably cost you 550 and a double room about 600 on the south circular, that's if you manage to actually get one that isn't 'for students only'

theteal · 26-08-2019 11:08am

There's no one correct answer, everyone's situation is different. Some of the black and white answers here are quite disconcerting. Ideally you'd want to be out in your early 20s but sometimes it just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make financial sense for someone from the outskirts of Dublin to get into the current rental madness to live in a slightly different part of the outskirts of Dublin. Granted this person wil be missing out on some life experiences but the bigger picture needs to be looked at. Stay at home, save your deposit, contribute what you can and don't be a leech.

I'm trying to think of my own experience, I was about 26 iirc, was making loads of money at the time (well more than parents combined) but the celtic bubble was in full swing in the previous couple of years - the auld fella told me not to be stupid when I spoke of moving out. The girlfriend was studying abroad (I was paying half that rent) and we were fairly confident we'd be moving to some part of the UK when she graduated. The plan was to sit tight and save save save.

The youngest brother is 30 next month, has lived abroad for a few years. Now he's back, I don't think the idea of moving out has even come up. The parents don't mind in the slightest, they're both retired now and come and go as they please. They know the house is safe. The mother always has an extra option for a lift when needed.

I do also have a few first hand examples of the mid 30s, no gumption leech though which is all kinds of wrong. No plan, lots of excuses, blaming a lot of factors but doing little to push on.

Anyway, I won't be kicking our kids out. It was our choice to have them so it seems wrong to turf them out at any stage. They'll be raised to be independent and given all the reasonable help they need but as for actually fcuking them out of the nest, nah won't happen - well unless we need to sell up to piss off to the sun

El_Duderino 09 · 26-08-2019 1:58pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Ireland is becoming a third world ****hole tbf...Corrupt politicians, high cost of living

Well, I disagree with the third world bit. But the urge to protect old people's wealth by getting young people to pay for it, is wrong.

Samuel T. Cogley · 26-08-2019 2:03pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

This is it. Wages are relatively low and rent is relatively high.

Young people are expected to leave home and work for some old business owner. Then take their minimum wage and hand it over to an old property owner in rent. Then have old people complain about how young people are stupid because x y Z reasons.

Owning a house is a fantasy for lots of young people today. With the state of wages:house prices. Old people with property should be incredibly grateful that the government has taken steps to keep old wealthy people happy by inflating property prices. Meanwhile young people have to deal with renting those properties at inflated prices.

Old people are living off young people but still get to castigate them at every turn. Sweet little deal for the old folk. Not so great for young people though. Old people have borrowed and young people are paying off their debt through rent. And what thanks do they get?

Half true. The tax on rent is relatively high and the only thing keeping the HAP wagon going. So not only are they getting screwed by the rich they're disproportionately supporting the poor.

Raconteuse · 26-08-2019 2:47pm

Ireland is far from a third world country (we take clean water, food, education and medicine for granted) but there are economic problems. No 18-year-old could go it alone. I reckon the "18 and out the door" stuff is just bluster though.

El_Duderino 09 · 26-08-2019 3:30pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

Ireland is far from a third world country (we take clean water, food, education and medicine for granted) but there are economic problems. No 18-year-old could go it alone. I reckon the "18 and out the door" stuff is just bluster though.

I think it also shows a complete lack of understanding of how prospects have changed for young people

tonycascarino · 26-08-2019 3:34pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

Living with the parents until later is more common now.

It is easy to see why. If you stay at home longer you have a much better chance of getting a decent sum together for a deposit to buy or build your own house.

It is a much smarter option than to be handing over dead money to a landlord with nothing to show for it in the end.

paleoperson · 26-08-2019 3:47pm

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

The US.

France. Sweden Denmark Finland.

Scandinavians tend to move out earlier.

In Nordic countries the average is 21.

There are other countries that do it like Ireland. In china in major cities its like people never leave home.

As I suspected you haven't a ****ing clue and are giving wisdom from what you read online, what a terrible poster.

El_Duderino 09 · 26-08-2019 4:29pm

tonycascarino wrote: »

It is easy to see why. If you stay at home longer you have a much better chance of getting a decent sum together for a deposit to buy or build your own house.

It is a much smarter option than to be handing over dead money to a landlord with nothing to show for it in the end.

Absolutely. I can see why some chinless wonder with rental properties would scoff at the idea of young people living with parents while they save for the rest of their lives (house, children etc.)

I work with some younger people who live at home. They're going to walk out of Home having saved tens of thousands towards their own home and get a home. I rent a house and pay a significant portion of my earnings to an old man while I scrape up a couple of hundreds towards buying a house some day in the distant future.

Its clear who's winning. I don't begrudge the people who live at home while they save for their future.

What age should young adults leave the home?

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